Naughty Fruit SaladCourse: FruitCuisine: AmericanDifficulty: easy
The fruit salad that might inspire you to finally write an erotic scene in your novel. But also somehow reminds you of your grandparents. Shudder. It’s good though!
Stuff That Goes In It
21 oz can peach pie filling
20 oz can pineapple chunks drained
15 oz can mandarin oranges drained
16 oz frozen or fresh strawberries halved or quartered
3 kiwi sliced
2 bananas sliced
Tiny bit of vanilla
Maybe an apple
Seedless grapes if you’re into it
Maybe ⅛ teaspoon of lemon juice if you’re using apples and not eating it right away (it helps keep the apples from oxidizing).
How to Make It
- Realize that if you want to make any money in writing, you’re probably going to have to learn to write sexy scenes.
Realize that you’re pretty bad at writing sexy scenes.
The only way to deal with this is to make a naughty fruit salad.
Gather up the ingredients! Let’s go.
- Chop the fruit up until it’s bitable pieces. People bite and nibble and stuff in sex scenes, don’t they?
- Mix up all the fruit and vanilla and peach pie filling and lemon juice. If the peaches look too chonky, cut them up so they are easy to nibble on. Try to wield the knife seductively. Realize the only thing you can wield seductively is . . . is . . . is . . . insert your own favorite swear word here . . . nothing
- Chill it like a cold shower for at least an hour. You can write the cold shower scene! That’s not naughty — or is it?
- This recipe has been in my family since peach pie filling came in a can, but it’s adapted from Angie Holden at her lovely blog https://www.thecountrychiccottage.net/10-minute-fruit-salad/