Be Brave Friday!

Every week on Facebook and now here on my blog, I do a quick BE BRAVE FRIDAY.

This is because:

I am trying to be more brave and evolve.

It usually features art because I have a lot of negative scripts in my mind from my childhood and my mom insisting that nobody in our family had ‘an artistic bone in their body.’ She was a lovely mom! She just… I was a kid who listened to those sorts of things and even though art was my favorite thing to do? Well, I figured she was right.

It’s important that we remember who we wanted to be sometimes. And not just be the person we are.

So, today, I made a painting sketch? Is that a thing? On paper so I know it will degrade and not last and that’s okay. Because change, I tell myself, happens. It has to happen. And being brave is accepting that it will happen. Things will go away and evolve and change.

So much love to those of you who are sick, who are worried, who are fighting things to make the world better for all of us, for those of you who are speaking your truths and for those of you who are still afraid to.

The best kind of change happens when we’re brave enough to be vulnerable and go after the life and the world we want.

I wish you so much bravery today and all days. 


Amnesty International Urgent Action Appeal

Click here to find out how you can help with Amnesty’s recent urgent action appeal.

Machi (spiritual Mapuche leader) Celestino Córdova Tránsito completed over 100 days on hunger strike demanding to join his community for the period of a mandatory spiritual retreat. He was convicted and in prison in the city of Temuco for homicide induced by arson in 2014. Authorities failed to dialogue with him, and a local Court authorized the possibility of force feeding him. On 10 August, he expressed his intention to enter a dry strike. We demand authorities urgently initiate a dialogue with Celestino Córdova and abstain from feeding him against his will.

Amnesty International

You can help potentially save someone’s life. That’s pretty cool.

WHERE TO FIND OUR PODCAST, DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE.

The podcast link if you don’t see it above. Plus, it’s everywhere like Apple Music, iTunesStitcherSpotify, and more. Just google, “DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE” then like and subscribe.

Join the 251,000 people who have downloaded episodes and marveled at our raw weirdness. You can subscribe pretty much anywhere.


Last week’s episode about poop, dentists, surgery, flavored alcohol and Jung. 

This week’s episode about generalizations and what men want. 

Last week’s bonus podcast with Jessica Burkhart! 

A link to our podcast about fatal errors, scenes, and ghost reaper sauce


SHOUT OUT

The music we’ve clipped and shortened in this podcast is awesome and is made available through the Creative Commons License. Here’s a link to that and the artist’s website. Who is this artist and what is this song?  It’s “Night Owl” by Broke For Free.


COME WRITE WITH ME! 

I coach, have a class, and edit things. Find out more here. 


NEW BOOK OF AWESOME- THE PLACES WE HIDE

I have a new book out!!!!!! It’s an adult mystery set in the town where we live, which is Bar Harbor, Maine. You can order it here. And you totally should. 

And if you click through to this link, you can read the first chapter! 

And click here to learn about the book’s inspiration and what I learned about myself when I was writing it.

Writers and Dealing With Anxiety Part Two

On Monday, I posted part one of this two-part post which is all because one of my writing students asked:

“Seems like a lot of us writers struggle with anxiety and low self-esteem. All I can do, apparently, is grind out a page here and there during my more lucid moments. I don’t suppose you’ve got the magic key to overcoming emotional struggles so that the writing gets done?”

Writer who I’m not going to out here because that would be horrible

I have my own way of dealing with this, but my way? It’s not everyone’s way and it’s not that writer’s way so I looked to my Facebook friends for help.

A lot of people were super kind and gave recommendations. I’m going to share some of more of them


FIND A DOG AND A TREE

Every morning, my dog Gus and I go under the tree in the front yard for about an hour. I bring a radio and a towel for Gus and a chair for me. He crunches on dog biscuits and I work on something–maybe a short story, maybe transcribing / formatting work that’s reverted to me, maybe do some edits, maybe play with some outlining or idea generation. There’s something about it–being there with him, not checking Twitter, not doing emails, in the peace of the morning that’s really helped me lately.

Holly Schindler

Go All Nike

Just sit down and begin. Sone days it works, other days, well…

Liz Jones

Switching It Up

Writing by hand in a notebook feels less “official” to me and helps me move past some of the doubt and anxiety.

Sarah Yasutake

Brain Dump with a Side of Wonderbook

I sometimes start a new document and brain dump. If it has to do with a piece I’m working on, cool, If not that’s okay!! I have the writing book Wonderbook and it some amazing images, tips, essays from writers on their speciality and genre. It really helped me with my anxiety when I was in workshop classes at UMaine because I was so vulnerable for the first time with my writing with other writers, let them know it’s okay to be anxious and scared. That’s honestly where my best stuff comes from. I just dive in what I’m feeling and go with it and see where it takes me! But HIGHLY recommend Wonderbook, I rented it for a class but ended up buying it because I use it almost every time I write!

Callaghan Carter

The Quiet Place

Just finding a quiet space without interruption is what I find I need these days. A glass of wine or a cup of herbal tea while writing helps me as well. But like you said, just sitting down and doing it is the first step. That’s the hardest part for me.

Brittani Gallegos

There! I hope these helped a bit. I have more, too, so let me know if you’d like me to post them and make a part three. But try to remember that you don’t have to be perfect and that you have as much a right to write your story, your book, your blog, as everyone else out there does.

You’ve got this.

Continue reading “Writers and Dealing With Anxiety Part Two”

What The Heck Do Men Want?

What The Heck Do Men Want?

 
 
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So, over at the Good Men Project, they have a story called “Five Traits Men Want in a Partner That We Never Say Out Loud.”

As a woman, I (Carrie) find this pretty frustrating. Why do men not say these things aloud? 

Paul Marsh of the Good Men Project writes: 

Most of us are just terrified of vocalizing what we want and 1) being laughed at or ridiculed in some capacity, 2) not having our desires taken seriously, or 3) not getting whatever it is we’re seeking. 

Marsh’s article which is anecdotal and not data-sourced is saying similar things as an earlier article in 2015 by Anthony D’Ambrosio that was in Elite Daily. D’Ambrosio had seven traits/characteristics to Marsh’s five.  

Marsh writes: 

The world is realizing that, while we’re deeply flawed, men also have a sensitive side, one chock-full of rich emotions that extend beyond those usually associated with us — like anger. Even companies like Old Spice are rolling out scented bodywashes with lavender and other naturally-derived ingredients that have long been associated with femininity.

Here is what Marsh says that men want: 

  1. Tenderness
  2. Global listening skills
  3. A kind talker
  4. Respect which he defines as “being considerate about the desires, feelings, and traits of another person
  5. Someone who ‘fights for you.’

D’Ambrosio’s article has reliability and being a best friend on the list as well as being self-aware and a communicator (kind talker and listener). He writes: 

Remember: You don’t need a “life partner,” “soulmate,” or “the one” to make you a complete, happy, healthy person. You are enough, all on your own. But if you’re dating someone you love, and you’re wondering if they’re your ever after, look out for these seven traits.

And Also Remember: These articles are massive generalizations. Not all men want the same things. Not all men have a hard time articulating what they want. Difference and diversity are good things. And sometimes articles telling you what men or women or writers want? They can be wrong for some people and right for others.

Writing Tip of the Pod

What does this have to do with writing? Think about your characters and their entanglements. How do they react when other characters aren’t respectful, tender, good listeners or in their corner? Why does it matter to them? Why doesn’t it? 

Dog Tip For Life

Be kind. It’s what it’s all about really.

SHOUT OUT

The music we’ve clipped and shortened in this podcast is awesome and is made available through the Creative Commons License. Here’s a link to that and the artist’s website. Who is this artist and what is this song?  It’s “Night Owl” by Broke For Free.

Continue reading “What The Heck Do Men Want?”

Writers And Anxiety And Self-Esteem

One of my writing students asked this last week and over on my Facebook page, I asked people if they any ideas for them.

“Seems like a lot of us writers struggle with anxiety and low self-esteem. All I can do, apparently, is grind out a page here and there during my more lucid moments. I don’t suppose you’ve got the magic key to overcoming emotional struggles so that the writing gets done?”

Writer who I’m not going to out here because that would be horrible

A lot of people were super kind and gave recommendations. I’m going to share some of them here.

I have my own way of working through things (which is by working actually, just forcing myself to stare at the word on the page). Writing through my anxiety helps me eliminate my anxiety. By doing the work and being persistent, I usually pretty quickly remember the joy of the process and worry less about the outcome or other people’s approval or even my own self-recrimination or criticism.

But…

That doesn’t work for everyone and I’m not quite self-centered enough to think my way is the only way. I know! I know! Shocker. 🙂

Here’s what some other people said:

Venting

Low self-esteem isn’t something I’ve struggled with since I started writing, but anxiety? Yeah, I’ve got it in spades.

For me, when my anxiety and what I call “stress brain” try to get in my way, I open a new or previous project (just something different) and throw myself into a scene that is very personal to me. It has to be something that I can completely immerse myself in, even if it means tears don’t stop flowing.

Actually? Especially then.

It clears my mind to vent off some of my personal frustrations and tell the world what I’m going through in a fictional way. It’s sort of soothing.

I’m sure some psych professionals would have a lot to say about my approach, but it works and that’s what counts, right? 😅

Jenica Saren

Completionist

I’m a completionist. I get satisfaction from crossing things off my to-do list. So I started adding self care/ image tasks to it. Sometimes it will be “take half an hour and paint your nails really nicely” and sometimes it will be “smile awkwardly at yourself in a mirror for at least five minutes.” Either way, it forces me to really start to rewire my brain, and I get to cross something off my list so it’s an added bonus that creates some endorphins lol. I try to put those tasks towards to top of the list so I can’t just say “oh I’ll do that tomorrow” until I put it off forever

Autumn Gin

Top Down Development

Thoughts from a retired engineer: what the heck would I know, right? I wonder if my approach is applicable across domains. We apply “Top Down Development” to our projects. We start with a summary, expand that to steps which can be thought of as an outline, and then expand each step of the outline as we have done already. Eventually we are at a level where we are writing code, but it is going into a fully developed framework.

Does this apply to creative or non-fiction writing? Does it support or detract from the creative process?

Brett Binns

The Artist’s Way

When I sit down at the easel I will often time stare at the always scary white canvas/panel. I have found that pushing all fine drawing implements aside (pencils, pens, etc) and picking up a bold brush and start making marks does the trick. I “dabble” in writing and when that blank page is in front of me I resort to what Julia Cameron in her book “The Artists Way” suggests, grabbing a notebook and filling a couple pages with mindless streams of words that automatically come to mind which for me helps.

Richard Small

Celebrate What You’ve Done and More

What I do at the worst moments (so not general day to day but what i call ‘crashes’)

1. I write down all the things I’ve done over a period of time. No negative words on the page, only what I’ve done. This isn’t just writing or art but ALL the things because we are all many things.

2. Sometimes I will literally write a page or two of positive things about me over and over. ‘I am working hard enough’ or ‘My writing has value’. whatever it is that works for you. This helps alleviate the pressure gauge in my head.

3. I grab a friend to help recalibrate me–just to check my brain space. ‘Is this valid or is it just brain weavels?’

4. I let myself have a break–or try to

Sara Fox

The Five W’s and H

Find an interesting photo or art and write about that. Do the 5 Ws and H. Just do a quick write. Set a timer for 30 seconds and look at the picture. Study it. Form a plan. Then write 3 minutes nonstop. Write as many words as you can. It’s about word count. It doesn’t matter what you say. Just write like you’re in a race. Count the words. Do this 3 times. I find I write more each time. It gets you warmed up. You might even like I and can use it somewhere. I’ve found stories by doing this. 🤩

Here’s a link to millions of photos:

https://www.gettyimages.com

Angel Morgan

My Facebook friends are pretty amazing, right? It’s why I still have Facebook. I’ll be posting part two about this on Wednesday, but feel free to share you ideas and thoughts, too! We all should help each other when we can.

Continue reading “Writers And Anxiety And Self-Esteem”

Be Brave Friday!

Hey! It’s Be Brave Friday!

And I’m being super brave this week in quiet ways. Bravery doesn’t always have to be loud or on social media or flashy, right? Sometimes the best kind of brave is the quiet kind. Fingers crossed.

I hope you’re being brave and going after your dreams. And here’s a bit of an abstract landscape I made this week. It’s still terribly hard for me to post these especially when I have so many artist friends, but here you go.

So much love to everyone. Stay safe and well, okay?

Continue reading “Be Brave Friday!”

Sometimes You Should Not Click On The Link

So because I am ridiculously nostalgic person and I like to remember when I was pre-published, I have a tendency to go back and look at old blog posts.

This is mostly to remind myself that:

  1. I have always been a wee bit anxious and goal driven.
  2. That I existed before 2020.

I just found one from August in another decade and it had a link that said, WHY AN MFA?

For those of you who aren’t musicians, writers, and artists and filmmakers, an MFA is a master’s in fine arts degree. My daughter, Em, is not getting an MFA. She’s getting an MBA and that means she has to do math. MFA is a better choice.

That was totally off topic because the point here is that when I thought, Hmm… Why MFA? and clicked the link it went to porn! Yes. Porn!

Now, because I am:

  1. Super anxious now that it’s 2020
  2. A wee bit paranoid now that it’s 2020

I screamed.

I screamed so loudly that the kitten vaulted out of the window and the other kitten ran in to see if there was a bug to attack and I stood up and jumped away from my computer proving once again that I would be the worst criminal in existence. Seriously. If you ever try to see me lie about a birthday present or tell someone that they look fan-freaking-tastic in that cowboy-hobo-outfit from Thredup that’s two sizes too small so they look like they are wearing Howdy Doody puppet clothes? Well, you would know.

After I finished screaming, I clicked out and slammed my laptop shut and sprayed it with Lysol (a sacrifice during Covid-19 times) and then gasped again while the kittens snubbed me for making them think there was a real threat like a squirrel, spider, dust-ball of dog hair, or dangling thread off a piece of clothing.

I had a couple questions once I calmed down:

  1. Why did a WHY MFA link going to a porn site now?
  2. Was this a message from the universe?
  3. Was the universe telling me that the alternative to an MFA was porn?

Yes. Actually. I think it was. And we should all be thankful I got that MFA.

Continue reading “Sometimes You Should Not Click On The Link”

When Children’s Book Writers Are Supposed To Dance Things Might Not Be Pretty

Back before COVID-19, I went to my first big writing conference (as a speaker) in L.A. (California) and I learned that there was a big gala thing and all of us children’s book writers (published and prepublished) were supposed to dance and schmooze there.

Despite the fact that my aunt owned a dance studio and I started dancing when I was two and despite the fact that author/poet/musician/playwright Ozzie Jones once gave me the best compliment about my dancing ever at a Bates College party and despite the fact that I’ve been in far too many musical theater productions, I get uptight about dancing.

Cough.

This is awkward to admit.

And I was supposed to hang out in a group of 900 children’s book writers who were going to be dancing? It was already super obvious who the extraverts are in the children’s book world and let me tell you? It’s the dancers. It’s the schmoozes. It’s the people who introduce themselves to you and aren’t awkward about it.

It is not me.

I thought children’s book writers were my people. Apparently, I was wrong. The whole situation was a lot more like a middle school dance than I thought it would be.

What I learned

1. Some writers can actually dance. I mean, they bend backwards. They throw off shoes. They are not me.

Get your boogie on and shuck off those ukeleles, authors!

2. Author John Green blushes and sort of crumples in half when kids tell them they’ve read Looking for Alaska‘s scene that involves a penis.

I am not spoiling here, but… I’m sure you can guess the scene. The truth is that scene has a bit of the Judy Blume phenom going for it. Kids I knew flipped to it, shared it with friends, even before or after they’ve read the whole book and I could go on for awhile about this and how it’s a very okay thing, but that would be a much longer post for later in the week. 

Also, despite a lot of lady writers asking him to dance, John Green managed to not dance. I envied him.

See, John. This is almost as steamy as your scene, and Raintree County is ancient, although steamy. 

3. It is hard to find people you know in a crowd of 900 and sometimes you just have to give it all up and hang with people you barely know. When doing this, try not to talk about the positive beauty of fleece TOO much. They will run away. 

4. Holding a beer makes dancing easier. I did not do this, but I should have. Thanks for the tip, Lisa Yee!

5. Once you tell people that you’re running off to get someone else to come dance it is REALLY REALLY hard to find those people again. Try not to worry that they think you were blowing them off and you are an evil mean girl or something.

I’m so sorry I lost you! I was busy dying inside from social anxiety.

6. Author Lisa Yee tells amazing stories. Many include peeps. Some include pee. Does there seem to be a connection?

I found this photo on Pinterest. Thank you, Pinterest!

Rock on, Little Peep. Rock on!

7. It’s okay to stand in the big grass circle by the taco makings instead of dancing because there will be other people there who aren’t drunk enough to dance either. These are some of your fellow introverts. Embrace them. Ask first though because not everyone likes embracing.

8. Even when there’s lots of room to spread out people will clump up to dance. I am not sure if this is because it is fun getting elbowed in the head or just for the hiding-your-dance-skills in a bunch of other people factor. Or maybe it’s just the hope for getting lucky is greater the closer you are to other bodies. Does anyone know? Is this an extrovert thing or an introvert thing?

9. Sometimes people can do amazing things with aluminum foil. Sometimes people can’t. This can be dangerous when the foil is used to make clothing. No. I am not posting a picture of this here. But also foil-clothing and dancing can lead to some NSFW photos of writers. Don’t enthusiastically dance if you’re only wearing aluminum-foil clothing unless you’re okay with other writers seeing body parts that are usually covered up and stuff.

10. Writer Cecil C (BEIGE) can hold while dancing:
    1. Plate of food.
    2. Eating utensil
    3. Massive funky-cool bag/purse
    4. Video camera
    All at the same time with a still-healing wrist, which obviously qualifies her for this status

 Yes, she is the dynamic force of both Wonderwoman and Superman combined! That’s super power.

And there you go. Helpful hints for when you go to a conference and there are a bunch of children’s book writers dancing.

Continue reading “When Children’s Book Writers Are Supposed To Dance Things Might Not Be Pretty”

The Poop And The Magician, Archetypes and You

The Poop And The Magician, Archetypes and You

 
 
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Over the past couple of months, we’ve been talking a lot about archetypes and how you can use them in writing and life, but we’ve failed to discuss where all this talk stems from. 

It’s all from Carl Jung who is an old, dead, psychology pioneer who didn’t agree with another old dead guy, Sigmund Freud. 

Jung was about the ‘collective unconsciousness.’ And he thought that in humanity’s collective unconsciousness there were basically twelve archetypes of character. We define this in our last podcast and this week, we’re finishing up with those twelve archetypes as they relate to finding poop in your driveway because we’re weird like that. 

THE REMAINING ARCHETYPES!

7. The Magician

It’s all about growing and evolving but the crankier magicians are not revolutionaries who lift up others. Instead, they are cranky buttfaces who turn positives into negatives and their attitude is contagious. A magician will see poop in the driveway and potentially think of a way to make it an energy source that will reduce carbon emissions. Or they might just tweet, “Poop in driveway. Angst. Everything completely sucks. What is the point? 

8. The Hero

Ah. Power. The hero likes it. The hero is vital and all about battling for honor or power. They do not like to lose. They do not give up. They find that poop and loft it at the doghouse of the enemy. They tweet a photo of poop smeared, “I protect my own. Consider yourself warned.” 

They then make a neighborhood watch for pooping dogs, create some HOA rules, call the police, and try to control the situation with some outdoor spy cameras. Remember. They do not lose. They like to control situations. They can sometimes be a little too controlling and ambitious. 

9. The Rebel

There is poop in the rebel’s driveway. They probably put it there. They don’t care if people have opinions about this poop. They should all mind their own business and stop pressuring the rebel. 

The rebel does not use social media because social media is all about other people’s opinions and the rebel could care less. Poop is definitely in their driveway and the rebel does not care. 

10. The Lover

Poop? Poop is in the lover’s driveway? But the lover is all about love and loving others and feeling loved and this? This poop is not pleasing. It is not about love. It is a blob of yuck. 

The lover cries and tweets and asks for uplifting sayings and photos. People send memes and photos of their kittens. One comes and takes care of the poop for them. The lover feels #blessed. 

11. The Jester

POOP! OMG! Poop is in the driveway! Hahahahaha! The jester gets the joke. And the joke isn’t just poop. It’s life. Crap happens. You might as well make it funny. 

The jester tweets something terribly lewd about the poop. They get Twitter banned for a day. The next day they do it again and start a 120-day spree of poop tweets. It goes viral. They get a podcast. 

12. The Orphan

Our last one is so sad. It is the orphan. The orphan is already a sad little human who feels like they are basically a walking wound. And here? Here is someone putting poop on their wound. Well, really on their driveway, but it’s kind of the same thing, isn’t it? It’s all about disappointment and betrayal and hurt and pain.

The orphan quickly manipulates all of Twitter into a GoFundMe to help them survive the trauma of the dog poop. They ask someone else to set up and be in charge of this Twitter so they can maintain their innocent brand. 

Since this is the 564th GoFundMe they’ve been a part of in the last four months, they only raise four dollars. The innocent is disappointed that nobody is helping or taking charge of their life. They go out and poop on their driveway themselves again. Maybe this time it will work? The orphan hopes so. 

Writing Tip of the Pod

Be original in your writing. Hook into those archetypes, but don’t have your characters just be an archetype.

Dog Tip For Life

Don’t stop moving. Live your life now while you have one.

SHOUT OUT

The music we’ve clipped and shortened in this podcast is awesome and is made available through the Creative Commons License. Here’s a link to that and the artist’s website. Who is this artist and what is this song?  It’s “Night Owl” by Broke For Free.

Continue reading “The Poop And The Magician, Archetypes and You”

GROWING UP WITH GRIT A BONUS PODCAST INTERVIEW WITH CHANTAL WATTS

GROWING UP WITH GRIT A BONUS PODCAST INTERVIEW WITH CHANTAL WATTS

 
 
00:00 / 00:21:39
 
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Award-winning news producer, blogger, podcaster, human, Chantal Watts is a bit of a force and she joins us on the podcast today and talks about her growing up, which reminds me so much of Jared Leto, and also how to be gritty and strong.

She’s amazing and I hope you’ll check it out.

Chantal’s Links of Awesome.

Chantal’s Instagram

Full Frontal Nerdity!


WHERE TO FIND OUR PODCAST, DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE.

The podcast link if you don’t see it above. Plus, it’s everywhere like Apple Music, iTunesStitcherSpotify, and more. Just google, “DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE” then like and subscribe.

Join the 251,000 people who have downloaded episodes and marveled at our raw weirdness. You can subscribe pretty much anywhere.


This week’s episode about poop, dentists, surgery, flavored alcohol and Jung.

LAST WEEK’S EPISODE about slug bait, sages and archetypes. 

Last week’s bonus podcast with Jessica Burkhart! 

A link to our podcast about fatal errors, scenes, and ghost reaper sauce


SHOUT OUT

The music we’ve clipped and shortened in this podcast is awesome and is made available through the Creative Commons License. Here’s a link to that and the artist’s website. Who is this artist and what is this song?  It’s “Night Owl” by Broke For Free.


COME WRITE WITH ME! 

I coach, have a class, and edit things. Find out more here. 


NEW BOOK OF AWESOME- THE PLACES WE HIDE

I have a new book out!!!!!! It’s an adult mystery set in the town where we live, which is Bar Harbor, Maine. You can order it here. And you totally should. 

And if you click through to this link, you can read the first chapter! 

And click here to learn about the book’s inspiration and what I learned about myself when I was writing it.

The Dog Peed on My Bridesmaid Dress

Sometimes things happen that you can’t control. We call this chaos, usually. But chaos is a part of our lives and our societies and sometimes? It comes in the form of a small dog.

The set-uP

  • I was in seventh grade.
  • My stepfather had just died. It was my brother’s wedding. 
  • I was totally in love with Tim, my much older (22) step-cousin. He had nice hair. It was silver. Plus, he always tried to make sure I didn’t fall off boats. You’ve got to respect that.

The dress

  • Was two sizes too big. That’s because I lost a lot of weight because my dad died. 
  • Was this Pepto-Bismol pink
  • Required a hoop skirt.
  • Had fake flowers for shoulder straps.
  • Was tiered like a wedding cake.

What happened


Right before the wedding, at the house of the parents of the bride, I put on my horrible gown.

This mauve gown sagged everywhere including where my breasts were (still are, actually. My breasts have not. I repeat: HAVE NOT moved) and the head maid of honor lady was trying to duct tape the sides in because you could see right down it.

The attempt to keep my dress from gaping didn’t really work and the tape was scratching. I was super paranoid that everyone was going to be looking down my dress and my mental state? It was like super anxiety blow-out.

Then when we were heading out to the car, I picked up the bride’s family’s dog, Midge. It turns out you are not supposed to pick up Midge. Why?

Midge pees when you pick her up. Apparently, Midge also had anxiety.

I did not know this.

Midge peed all over my dress. Yes, this happened while I was wearing it. There was this dark stain, going down the mauve. It hit the duct tape. It hit everything.

Hell Breaks Loose

Cue: Mother of the bride swearing.


Cue: Maid of Honor yelling, “CARRIE!!! YOU PICKED UP MIDGE! JESUS! JESUS! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?”

They rushed me inside, dabbed at me with a face cloth, and then dried me with a hair dryer. 

Me: I smell like pee.
Bride: YOU. SMELL. FINE.
Father of the Bride: She smells like piss. 

Cue: Maid of Honor spraying lilac perfume all over me. I associate lilacs with pee now.

So, I went to the wedding smelling like lilac and pee. My super cute cousin asked me to a pity dance. I was in Heaven. He leaned in. I was in super Heaven. I was ready to die of bliss. 

Super Cute Cousin: Does it smell like urine?

Me:

Super Cute Cousin:

Me: Lilacs. I smell lilacs.

So smooth.


WHERE TO FIND OUR PODCAST, DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE.

The podcast link if you don’t see it above. Plus, it’s everywhere like Apple Music, iTunesStitcherSpotify, and more. Just google, “DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE” then like and subscribe.

Join the 251,000 people who have downloaded episodes and marveled at our raw weirdness. You can subscribe pretty much anywhere.


This week’s episode about poop, dentists, surgery, flavored alcohol and Jung.

LAST WEEK’S EPISODE about slug bait, sages and archetypes. 

Last week’s bonus podcast with Jessica Burkhart! 

A link to our podcast about fatal errors, scenes, and ghost reaper sauce


COME WRITE WITH ME! 

I coach, have a class, and edit things. Find out more here. 


NEW BOOK OF AWESOME- THE PLACES WE HIDE

I have a new book out!!!!!! It’s an adult mystery set in the town where we live, which is Bar Harbor, Maine. You can order it here. And you totally should. 

And if you click through to this link, you can read the first chapter! 

And click here to learn about the book’s inspiration and what I learned about myself when I was writing it.