Losing Brilliance to AIDS

I posted this twelve years ago on WORLD AIDS DAY. It was WORLD AIDS DAY again on Sunday. So I am posting it again.

Back when I was in college someone I adored died of AIDS. He died in December.

This man was brilliant and cool and kind and he made me believe that I was:


1. Smart.
2. Had a responsibility to make the world better.

Believe me, those weren’t easy things for me to believe, and sometimes I have a hard time believing them still.

But this man? This beautiful, brilliant man who died of AIDS complications? He was my example of how you can do it. He grew up really poor with just a mom running the household. He was his class valedictorian in high school and college. He desegregated a fraternity system when that was unheard of. He made the world better. He went to Harvard Law even though nobody else in his close family had even gone to college. His whole life he volunteered and worked and made the world better. He was a lovely father. He was the best kind of friend. He was elegant and passionate and logical.

I miss him terribly.

December 1 is WORLD AIDS DAY. 

Back when he died, I really thought there would be a cure by now. I really thought that the world would ban together and completely fix this. 

AIDS is still a problem. It’s a huge problem. One of many.

Find out more here.

Or here.

There’s a lot of things you can do to make a difference but I guess I’d like to add that the first step is to care.

That’s right.

Just care.

A lot of people died of AIDS. A lot of people still die from preventable diseases. A lot of people die from violence, poverty, hate. I think that we owe it to them to lift up their memories, to live our lives respecting their beauty and their light. I know that I’ll keep trying. I hope you might too.



THIS WEEK’S PODCAST


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Florida Man and the Queen of Kittens

Stories are about people having emotions. Writers who write from their heads (outlining like crazy, etc,) are often missing out on the emotion because they are analyzing how to show emotion. 

But it’s desire and yearning that makes stories stand out and makes writers into artists and truth tellers. 

Robert Olen Butler says that yearning creates a dynamic of desire and that dynamic of desire creates plot and story. The need, the yearning, the want, is something that needs to bleed out into the page and it does. It does. 

Good stories have two epiphanies in them that use this yearning. The first epiphany shows up early in the story where all the details culminate to show the reader what it is that the main character wants. The reader gets it, responds, relates, understands and yearns for it too – yearns for it enough to turn the page and keep reading. 

The second epiphany is basically the climax or the story’s crisis. The main character is fully committed to her desire and she is at that make-or-break point and we’re there with her. 

The difference between regular books and books that rock your soul is that they are about wants, not about yearnings. Yearnings are bigger than wants. They are the desire of the inside. The foe blocks that desire, that attempt to fulfill yearnings. The character responds. And that is plot. 

Writers Tip of the Pod

Make your characters yearn.

Dog Tip For Life

Go after what you yearn for. 

Random Thoughts

In our random thoughts this week you get to hear:

  • Shaun fail to see his beer advent calendar
  • The Queen of Kittens talk about BTX
  • Florida Men and the things you do
  • Christmas Tree success.

SHOUT OUT

The music we’ve clipped and shortened in this podcast is awesome and is made available through the Creative Commons License. Here’s a link to that and the artist’s website. Who is this artist and what is this song?  It’s “Night Owl” by Broke For Free.


This Week’s Podcast


WRITING NEWS

LEARN WITH ME AT THE WRITING BARN!

The Write. Submit. Support. format is designed to embrace all aspects of the literary life. This six-month course will offer structure and support not only to our writing lives but also to the roller coaster ride of submissions: whether that be submitting to agents or, if agented, weathering the submissions to editors. We will discuss passes that come in, submissions requests, feedback we aren’t sure about, where we are feeling directed to go in our writing lives, and more. Learn more here! 

“Carrie’s feedback is specific, insightful and extremely helpful. She is truly invested in helping each of us move forward to make our manuscripts the best they can be.”

“Carrie just happens to be one of those rare cases of extreme talent and excellent coaching.”

IN THE WOODS – READ AN EXCERPT, ORDER NOW!

My new book, IN THE WOODS, is out!

Gasp!

It’s with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed!

Order this bad boy, which might make it have a sequel. The sequel would be amazing. Believe me, I know. It features caves and monsters and love. Because doesn’t every story?

In the Woods
In the Woods


ART NEWS

Bar harbor arts
Carrie Jones Art

Buy limited-edition prints and learn more about my art here on my site. 

PATREON OF AWESOME

Get exclusive content, early podcasts, videos, art and listen (or read) never-to-be-officially published writings of Carrie on her Patreon. Levels go from $1 to $100 (That one includes writing coaching and editing for you wealthy peeps). 

Check it out here. 

WHAT IS PATREON? 

A lot of you might be new to Patreon and not get how it works. That’s totally cool. New things can be scary, but there’s a cool primer HERE that explains how it works. The short of it is this: You give Patreon your paypal or credit card # and they charge you whatever you level you choose at the end of each month. That money supports me sharing my writing and art and podcasts and weirdness with you. 

Last week’s podcast.

Florida Man and the Queen of Kittens

 
 
00:00 / 00:18:03
 
1X
 

Sometimes People Suck, Yes Even Parents and Writers

Being a writer is cool and weird. I’m trying to explain this to the students I’m visiting in Vermont this week, and mostly I’ve been talking about:

  1. How cool/weird it is to make up entire worlds and characters in your head and other people read them.
  2. How cool/weird it is to have people fight over your books in line or cry when they meet you.
  3. How cool/weird it is to get emails from people you don’t know.

But sometimes the weird way outweighs the cool when it comes to random emails from people you don’t know.

And no, I’m not talking about the emails that:

  1. Tell you that you are beautiful
  2. Tell you that your nephew has been kidnapped and you must wire money right now.
  3. Tell you that you won a foreign lottery.

I’m talking about emails like this one:

You sound like a very curious, interesting, clever girl. I was hoping to find something that would give these kids a leg to stand on morally and spiritually.
So far I’m not seeing anything with any direction except sucky things happening to young girls.
Hmmmmm OK I’ll withhold further comments until I read one of your books.
But fix it.

Random Mother in Maine Who Likes to Email Imperatives to Authors she Doesn’t Know

And that mother makes me so sad because she’s in charge of a kid right now and she doesn’t realize that sucky things do happen to girls (young and old) and people (young and old) all the time. Those things happen. And books are out there because books reflect life and expand on it and help you empathize about it and be a part of it.

“But fix it,” she said.

I went to that presentation in Maine. I drove three hours. I shook when I saw that parent in the back of the classroom, glaring. “She’s difficult,” the school told me. “Very very difficult. But we don’t think she’ll harm you.”

That was a tiny worry, but my bigger worry is her kid and was her kid.

“But fix it,” she said.

No, ma’am, you fix yourself. And hopefully once you do that, you and me and a whole bunch of other people can spread kindness in this world instead of perpetual suck. Deal?

It’s easy to succumb to the suck of other people. When authors get criticized they can lash out. Everyone can lash out. They don’t have a special course in Author School where they teach you to deal with criticism, stalkers, how to do a school visit, how to be kind. They just expect us to know. We don’t always know.

That makes me sad, obviously, because I want writers to be good role models. But some of us weren’t taught that either. Fixing it, fixing ourselves, making the choices that are right isn’t a constant thing. But I know I want to be better. I want everyone, even that angry mom who wrote that email and glared at me, to be better.

I think we can.

WRITING NEWS

LEARN WITH ME AT THE WRITING BARN!

The Write. Submit. Support. format is designed to embrace all aspects of the literary life. This six-month course will offer structure and support not only to our writing lives but also to the roller coaster ride of submissions: whether that be submitting to agents or, if agented, weathering the submissions to editors. We will discuss passes that come in, submissions requests, feedback we aren’t sure about, where we are feeling directed to go in our writing lives, and more. Learn more here! 

“Carrie’s feedback is specific, insightful and extremely helpful. She is truly invested in helping each of us move forward to make our manuscripts the best they can be.”

“Carrie just happens to be one of those rare cases of extreme talent and excellent coaching.”

IN THE WOODS – READ AN EXCERPT, ORDER NOW!

My new book, IN THE WOODS, is out!

Gasp!

It’s with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed!

Order this bad boy, which might make it have a sequel. The sequel would be amazing. Believe me, I know. It features caves and monsters and love. Because doesn’t every story?

In the Woods
In the Woods


ART NEWS

Buy limited-edition prints and learn more about my art here on my site. 

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is IMG_9486.jpg

PATREON OF AWESOME

Get exclusive content, early podcasts, videos, art and listen (or read) never-to-be-officially published writings of Carrie on her Patreon. Levels go from $1 to $100 (That one includes writing coaching and editing for you wealthy peeps). 

Check it out here. 

WHAT IS PATREON? 

A lot of you might be new to Patreon and not get how it works. That’s totally cool. New things can be scary, but there’s a cool primer HERE that explains how it works. The short of it is this: You give Patreon your paypal or credit card # and they charge you whatever you level you choose at the end of each month. That money supports me sharing my writing and art and podcasts and weirdness with you. 

To Write Love on Her Arms Day

Once when I was in college I wanted to die so badly that I stood on Lisbon Street in Lewiston, Maine and tried to decide which car to jump in front of.

There were lots of reasons I felt that way at the time and one of those reasons was my seizure medication had thrown my entire body totally out of whack. But honestly? The reasons don’t matter any more. What mattered was the pain. What mattered was that I wanted to die because I thought that I hurt too much to live.

One of my friends, Eric Stamper, got me through it. He was an angel boy. 
His non-judgmental kindness saved me. Plus, I felt too badly for the driver of the car that would hit me. It seemed unfair to them.


The plan didn’t seem fool-proof enough.


And, I also thought about God and life and existence being a gift even if it is a TERRIBLY difficult gift sometimes. 

But for five minutes I stood on the side of that Maine road and hurt and thought about ending the hurt.

I don’t usually talk about this, but lately on Twitter and Facebook, in friends-locked posts, and in private messages and in conversations on the phone, I have seen and listened to so many people who are feeling the way I did when I stood on Lisbon Street.

I am very lucky. I have never felt that way again, but I remember the feeling. 

And I also realize that it’s hard to talk about it even though so many people have felt that way too. But it isn’t shameful to hurt. It isn’t shameful for the pain to be too much for you to handle alone and anyone who says it is? Well, they are full of crud. Sorry. It’s true. 

Over 21 million people on Earth have depression. A massive chunk of those cases are in the U.S. A massive chunk of those people are veterans and active members of the military.

And two-thirds of those people never get help, or ask for it. 

And depression is the leading cause of suicide.
And suicide is the third most common reason that teens die.
And I like teens way too much to be cool about letting such a cause of death not go on notice. That’s right… SUICIDE and DEPRESSION! YOU ARE ON NOTICE like that old Steve Colbert skit.

 Take out BLACK HOLE and put DEPRESSION AND SUICIDE THERE. 

And for veterans? There are about 17 veterans who commit suicide every twenty-four hours.

Thus, the post today, Veteran’s Day. In two more days it is TO WRITE LOVE ON HER ARMS DAY. People are writing love on their arms to show that they care, they hope, they support, that they chose not to be silent.



“To Write Love on Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery.”

From the website

This is their vision: 

The vision is that we actually believe these things…
You were created to love and be loved.  You were meant to live life in relationship with other people, to know and be known. You need to know that your story is important and that you’re part of a bigger story.  You need to know that your life matters.
We live in a difficult world, a broken world.  My friend Byron is very smart – he says that life is hard for most people most of the time.  We believe that everyone can relate to pain, that all of us live with questions, and all of us get stuck in moments.  You need to know that you’re not alone in the places you feel stuck. 
We all wake to the human condition.  We wake to mystery and beauty but also to tragedy and loss.  Millions of people live with problems of pain.  Millions of homes are filled with questions – moments and seasons and cycles that come as thieves and aim to stay.  We know that pain is very real.  It is our privilege to suggest that hope is real, and that help is real. 
You need to know that rescue is possible, that freedom is possible, that God is still in the business of redemption.We’re seeing it happen.  We’re seeing lives change as people get the help they need.  People sitting across from a counselor for the first time.  People stepping into treatment.  In desperate moments, people calling a suicide hotline.We know that the first step to recovery is the hardest to take.  We want to say here that it’s worth it, that your life is worth fighting for, that it’s possible to change. 
Beyond treatment, we believe that community is essential, that people need other people, that we were never meant to do life alone. 

The vision is that community and hope and help would replace secrets and silence.  
The vision is people putting down guns and blades and bottles. 

The vision is that we can reduce the suicide rate in America and around the world.
The vision is that we would learn what it means to love our friends, and that we would love ourselves enough to get the help we need.
The vision is better endings. The vision is the restoration of broken families and broken relationships. The vision is people finding life, finding freedom, finding love. The vision is graduation, a Super Bowl, a wedding, a child, a sunrise. The vision is people becoming incredible parents, people breaking cycles, making change.  
The vision is the possibility that your best days are ahead.  
The vision is the possibility that we’re more loved than we’ll ever know.  

To Write Love on Her Arms.

The vision is hope, and hope is real.
You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story.

Final two lines of the vision statement

Crud. Every time I read that I cry. 

But you may feel alone. You aren’t. I want your story to go on and on. Like mine is. The world is better with you in it.

 Please go write LOVE on your arm. No, not I LIKE YOU VERY MUCH AND WE SHOULD START SEEING EACH OTHER.

Write the word LOVE.

Love is what matters in this world. Love is about knocking down walls, not building them up. Love is about help and empathy and kindness. The Eric Stampers of this world.

I write goofy things on Twitter and Facebook every morning featuring my dogs or the kittens. It isn’t always easy, but I do it because every once and a while those tiny words help other people. That’s so much better than being an internationally bestselling novelist or even having been published. That tiny moment where I get to connect with other people? That’s the whole world to me. You deserve that, too.

Good morning! Find your best Halloween wig, call it your real hair, roll around in it. Look fabulous. Be fabulous. Take this Monday under your wing and make it amazing like you are. You’ve got this, strong one. xo The Kitten

Some numbers

Suicide Prevention Hotline Website. 1-800-273-8255

In Español – 1-888- 628-9454

For the hard of hearing – 1-800- 799-4889

THIS WEEK’S PODCAST LINK!

WRITING NEWS

LEARN WITH ME AT THE WRITING BARN!

The Write. Submit. Support. format is designed to embrace all aspects of the literary life. This six-month course will offer structure and support not only to our writing lives but also to the roller coaster ride of submissions: whether that be submitting to agents or, if agented, weathering the submissions to editors. We will discuss passes that come in, submissions requests, feedback we aren’t sure about, where we are feeling directed to go in our writing lives, and more. Learn more here! 

“Carrie’s feedback is specific, insightful and extremely helpful. She is truly invested in helping each of us move forward to make our manuscripts the best they can be.”

“Carrie just happens to be one of those rare cases of extreme talent and excellent coaching.”

IN THE WOODS – READ AN EXCERPT, ORDER NOW!

My new book, IN THE WOODS, is out!

Gasp!

It’s with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed!

Order this bad boy, which might make it have a sequel. The sequel would be amazing. Believe me, I know. It features caves and monsters and love. Because doesn’t every story?

In the Woods
In the Woods


ART NEWS

Buy limited-edition prints and learn more about my art here on my site. 

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is IMG_9486.jpg

PATREON OF AWESOME

Get exclusive content, early podcasts, videos, art and listen (or read) never-to-be-officially published writings of Carrie on her Patreon. Levels go from $1 to $100 (That one includes writing coaching and editing for you wealthy peeps). 

Check it out here. 

WHAT IS PATREON? 

A lot of you might be new to Patreon and not get how it works. That’s totally cool. New things can be scary, but there’s a cool primer HERE that explains how it works. The short of it is this: You give Patreon your paypal or credit card # and they charge you whatever you level you choose at the end of each month. That money supports me sharing my writing and art and podcasts and weirdness with you. 

LAST WEEK’S PODCAST! 

THIS WEEK’S PODCAST LINK!

How Not to Procrastinate And Go After Your Dreams.

Full confession here:

I’m not a person who procrastinates although a lot of my writing friends and writing students do. I started wondering about that. 

Why Don’t I Procrastinate?

Then I realized I don’t procrastinate because I’m really lucky and every day I remember just how lucky I am to get to be in a world of words, a world where I get to create story and help other people create stories. 

I’m lucky because I chose my dream. My dream is to create things, words, images, story, art, anything, everything. I want to communicate. I want to hear other people and be heard. 

So, when I wake up in the morning, I don’t think, “Ugh. This is horrible and I don’t want to work.” 

I think the opposite. My brain goes, “Yes! I get to write today. I get to help other writers today. How freaking awesome is that? Holy poop, I’m lucky. Please let me stay lucky.” 

Tangent: Since I am from New England, I always expect my luck to vanish. But I also grew up Portuguese so I expect spilling wine on the table with make luck and happiness return for the entire house. 

Why Don’t We go After Our dreams?

Here’s the thing, sometimes (gasp) writers are afraid to go after their dreams, think they don’t deserve to go after their dreams or even – writing isn’t actually their dream. 

Inner Critic Problems

When we are afraid to go after our dreams or make the time for them, it’s often because we don’t think we deserve that dream. We hear our inner critic telling us stories that we believe even though they are horrifyingly wrong. The critic tells us our writing is a waste of time or that we’re selfish to write or not worthy or not what a writer is supposed to be like. 

Fear of Change

Sometimes, we are afraid to go after our dream because we are afraid of success. Success means that your life will change. It means that you won’t be the person who wants to write. You will be the person who writes. And change? Change can be scary.

It’s the Wrong Dream

Sometimes, we procrastinate about writing because writing might not actually be what we want to do. It’s what we believe we want. It’s what we were told we were good at maybe? But it’s not actually what we want to be doing.

Find your motivation, find your dream

There’s a thing called a motivation-question list. And those questions can really help us discern what it is we want from life. 

ask yourself three key questions: 

  1. What is my most amazing goal possible? My dream.
  2. If I get that dream goal, then what will my prize be? 
  3. What happens if I don’t try for that dream goal?

Where I Get Stuck

So, for me? I get stuck at number 1 a lot. My dream goal would be to help people become their best selves and kinder to one another via communication somehow. 

If I get that dream goal, then I would have the knowledge that I made a positive difference in the world. 

If I don’t try, then nothing happens. Everyone is just the same. It’s not an end-of-the-world outcome, but it’s not a positive outcome.

Too Many Dreams?

Somethings I get hung up because I have a lot of dreams. There’s also this one, which is much more specific.

  1. I would like to be Anthony Bourdain but female and with an easier internal mental health life. 
  2. I would get to explore the world and collect people’s stories and share and celebrate them with others, learning and growing all together.
  3. I will be here in Bar Harbor Maine and lonely. 

What are yours? What do you want? What Is Your Motivation?

The first step is determining your dream, why you have it, what you’re motivated by?

Here are a couple of resources to help you get motivated. 

Zen Habits Motivation Tips from Leo Babauta

If that one isn’t doing it for you, maybe try this one by J.D. Meier in Time, which talks about connecting to your values, finding your why, and more. 

You’ve got this. One step at a time towards your dreams. Choose courage, okay?

Writing News


COOL CONTEST OF SPOOKY AWESOMENESS!

Um. MacMillan is having a super cool sweepstakes where you can win the book I wrote with Steve (IN THE WOODS) and four other scary books.
Go enter! Go win! I’m rooting for you!

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is readifyoudare-rules.png

IN THE PAPER, BABY

I was just in the newspaper and I think the photo of my head is actually larger than my real-life head. Go figure. It was super kind of them to notice me and to write about me. Here is the link.

LEARN WITH ME AT THE WRITING BARN! 

The Write. Submit. Support. format is designed to embrace all aspects of the literary life. This six-month course will offer structure and support not only to our writing lives but also to the roller coaster ride of submissions: whether that be submitting to agents or, if agented, weathering the submissions to editors. We will discuss passes that come in, submissions requests, feedback we aren’t sure about, where we are feeling directed to go in our writing lives, and more. Learn more here! 

“Carrie’s feedback is specific, insightful and extremely helpful. She is truly invested in helping each of us move forward to make our manuscripts the best they can be.”

“Carrie just happens to be one of those rare cases of extreme talent and excellent coaching.”

IN THE WOODS – READ AN EXCERPT, ORDER NOW!

My new book, IN THE WOODS, is out!

Gasp! 

It’s with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed! 

Order this bad boy, which might make it have a sequel. The sequel would be amazing. Believe me, I know. It features caves and monsters and love. Because doesn’t every story?

In the Woods
In the Woods


ART NEWS

Buy limited-edition prints and learn more about my art here on my site. 

PATREON OF AWESOME

Get exclusive content, early podcasts, videos, art and listen (or read) never-to-be-officially published writings of Carrie on her Patreon. Levels go from $1 to $100 (That one includes writing coaching and editing for you wealthy peeps). 

Check it out here. 

WHAT IS PATREON? 

A lot of you might be new to Patreon and not get how it works. That’s totally cool. New things can be scary, but there’s a cool primer HERE that explains how it works. The short of it is this: You give Patreon your paypal or credit card # and they charge you whatever you level you choose at the end of each month. That money supports me sharing my writing and art and podcasts and weirdness with you. 

THIS WEEK’S PODCAST

Grover and John, Writers’ Inner Cheerleaders and Inner Critics

For those of you who don’t know me, or know that I’m crazy, let me explain about Grover and John.

Sometimes when you are a writer you become paralyzed by fear. 

Come on my dear. Write! Just 1,000 words. You can do it. 

No! No! I couldn’t possibly!

You think you suck. You worry about tiny two-word phrases in reviews that could possibly be negative. You wonder if you are totally unoriginal, if you have anything to say, and even if you do have something to say, why say it?

I CAN’T DO THIS!! is often our writing mantra.

This attitude basically leads to sitting in front of the computer staring, or sometimes throwing yourself on the couch and having a good cry.

To combat this, I’ve enlisted Grover and John Wayne.

Grover is the nice one. He disco celebrates with me. 

Let’s dance, Cawwie!

He occasionally deposits raunchy sexual hints.

Oh, Cawwie. You can do it. Do you want to pet my kitty? 

He makes me feel better and when all else fails we just get totally tanked together and talk about the good times.

I am trying to find a source for this image. If it is yours, please let me know.

Do you remember when your books were on the New York Times bestsellers’ list, Cawwie? That can happen again.

God love you for a liar, Grover.

And then there is John, the Inner Critic.


John is the task masker, the enforcer. He gets out that big gun (Do not say anything sexual, Grover) and gets me to work. 

I mean it kid, I am sick to death of all this whining. 

He tells me not to feel sorry for myself or wimp out. 

Do you really want to deal with this, little woman, huh? You want to have a piece of this? 


Today is a John day. Blah.

Take a look at this, Carrie. It’ll make you feel better. I’m a cookie jar.


Yeah, great John.

But anyway, we all have inner cheerleaders and inner critics, but we tend to pay much more attention to those inner critics, those storylines telling us we suck, we’ll fail, that there’s no point. Those critics? They need to be banished. We need to cultivate and listen to our inner cheerleaders instead.

Why?

Because there is enough negative forces out there in this world that we navigate bashing against us. We don’t need to join them. We don’t need to bash ourselves, too. Often the first step to success in our lives and the first to making lasting positive change in this world, is to embrace the good, the positive, to cultivate it, to grow it in ourselves and others. Spread that. Be your own damn cheerleader and cheer on others, too.

WRITING NEWS

THE NETHERLANDS IS AWESOME

Steve Wedel and I wrote a super creepy book a few years back called After Obsession and it’s making a big freaking splash in the amazing Netherlands thanks to Dutch Venture Publishing and its leader Jen Minkman. 

Check out this spread in a Dutch magazine. I met a whole bunch of Dutch readers last Friday and let me tell you? They are the best. 

IN THE WOODS – READ AN EXCERPT, ORDER NOW!

My new book, IN THE WOODS, is out!

Gasp! 

It’s with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed! 

You can order this bad boy, which might make it have a sequel. The sequel would be amazing. Believe me, I know. It features caves and monsters and love. Because doesn’t every story?

In the Woods
In the Woods


ART NEWS

You can buy limited-edition prints and learn more about my art here on my site. 

PATREON OF AWESOME

You can get exclusive content, early podcasts, videos, art and listen (or read) never-to-be-officially published writings of Carrie on her Patreon. Levels go from $1 to $100 (That one includes writing coaching and editing for you wealthy peeps). 

Check it out here. 

WHAT IS PATREON? 

A lot of you might be new to Patreon and not get how it works. That’s totally cool. New things can be scary, but there’s a cool primer HERE that explains how it works. The short of it is this: You give Patreon your paypal or credit card # and they charge you whatever you level you choose at the end of each month. That money supports me sharing my writing and art and podcasts and weirdness with you. 

Risking being bruised and misunderstood. Audre Lord and writing

I have come to believe over and over again that what is most important to me must be spoken, made verbal and shared, even at the risk of having it bruised or misunderstood.

Audre Lord wrote that in a paper she delivered at Modern Language Association’s “Lesbian and Literature Panel,” Chicago, Illinois, December 28, 1977. It was first published in Sinister Wisdom 6 (1978) and The Cancer Journals (Spinsters, Ink, San Francisco, 1980). It also appeared in Lord’s book, Sister Outsider (  Freedom, California: Crossing Press, 1984 ).  


I wonder how often writers self-censor for fear of being ‘bruised or misunderstood.’ I’m thinking not just of books and thinking of how scary it is for me to read random reviews. Even though they are almost all great reviews, there’s still that wound that comes sometimes.

But I’m also thinking about how the best books resonate with an author’s truths. The best books have something underneath the surface and that something is what an author believes.

So, basically, this has also made me think about what is most important to me.


There’s so many things that are important to me, but I think one of them is what Lord calls “barriers to loving.” She calls racism, sexism, heterosexism and homophobia types of human blindness. Human blindness is the “inability to recognize the notion of difference as a dynamic human force, one which is enriching rather than threatening to the defined self.” **

I love that quote. I mean, I really, really love it. 

I’m sure she’d include classism in that mix as well. But how about the differences in political thought? In abstinence education? In forgiveness theories? There are so many kinds of differences. There are so many different belief systems, not just within our country or in the world, but just in our county, just in our town. I’m not sure if I’m always as upfront as I could be about what I believe, and it’s got to be fear that holds me back sometimes. 


What about you? 

What do you believe?

Do you write your truths? If you aren’t a writer, do you live your truths? Speak them? Or are you afraid?

** First published in The Black Scholar, vol. 9, no. 7 (1978) and later in Sister Outsider

WRITING NEWS

THE NETHERLANDS IS AWESOME

Steve Wedel and I wrote a super creepy book a few years back called After Obsession and it’s making a big freaking splash in the amazing Netherlands thanks to Dutch Venture Publishing and its leader Jen Minkman. 

Check out this spread in a Dutch magazine. I met a whole bunch of Dutch readers last Friday and let me tell you? They are the best. 

IN THE WOODS – READ AN EXCERPT, ORDER NOW!

My new book, IN THE WOODS, is out!

Gasp! 

It’s with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed! 

You can order this bad boy, which might make it have a sequel. The sequel would be amazing. Believe me, I know. It features caves and monsters and love. Because doesn’t every story?

In the Woods
In the Woods


ART NEWS

You can buy limited-edition prints and learn more about my art here on my site. 

PATREON OF AWESOME

You can get exclusive content, early podcasts, videos, art and listen (or read) never-to-be-officially published writings of Carrie on her Patreon. Levels go from $1 to $100 (That one includes writing coaching and editing for you wealthy peeps). 

Check it out here. 

WHAT IS PATREON? 

A lot of you might be new to Patreon and not get how it works. That’s totally cool. New things can be scary, but there’s a cool primer HERE that explains how it works. The short of it is this: You give Patreon your paypal or credit card # and they charge you whatever you level you choose at the end of each month. That money supports me sharing my writing and art and podcasts and weirdness with you. 

Diversity and Inclusion Aren’t Just the Right Things to Do, They are the Smart Things to Do

“Most people are sardines and they want to survive. They want to do what the powerful people are doing. We (Rotary) are the salmon. We’re going upstream. We’re pushing against the world that was given to us.”

I was so impressed by Todd “Bowtie” Jenkins that I’m double posting today. It’s so important to highlight the people who are choosing to do good in this world. I hope you’ll check him out. This post is also on my Facebook page.

NIAGARA, CANADA – Dynamic motivational speaker and inclusion expert, Rotarian Todd “Bowtie” Jenkins addressed the final day of Rotary International leaders from Canada, the United States, Bermuda, India, and Germany on Saturday. 

The Rotarians spent their last few days of leadership training creating ways to grow their 1.2-million strong global service organization, which focuses on leaders taking action to make their local and global communities healthier, more peaceful, and stronger. 

Leaders stressed that this might seem like a massive task, and it is, but for the organization that has led the charge towards almost completely eradicated polio across the world, nothing is beyond what it can do. 

Rotary is a global organization with clubs across multiple continents connecting the world and innovators. Rotarians like Jenkins want to increase membership and inclusion to make it even stronger. His talk with Rotarians on Saturday morning focused on the power of diversity and inclusion in Rotary. 

The Same Sized Shoe Doesn’t Fit Everyone

“There is a difference in inclusion when you talk about equity and equality,” Jenkins said. To explain inclusion and equity, he used the example of giving everyone a size 10.5 shoe, which would fit him, but wouldn’t fit everyone in the conference room of over 200 Rotarians. If he gave some people that shoe, it would be too small. For some, it would be too big. 

“Equity is giving everyone a shoe that fits them,” Jenkins said, rather than just everybody the same size shoe or Rotary club experience. To do that you have to interact and ask what they need, what kind of shoe they like, or what size they wear.

In an organization like Rotary, Jenkins said, if you give everyone the same shoe or experience or duties, it might not fit them and they might show up to every experience club event or meeting uncomfortable. 

He said, “Everyone does not show up to our clubs with the same access to social capital that we have.” 

Diversity and Inclusion are More Than Just the Right Things To Do

After his keynote speech, Rotarians had the opportunity to engage in facilitated break-out sessions where they brainstormed ways to bring diversity and inclusion into the realms of membership, service projects, and public image. 

“Diversity and inclusion is bigger than the right thing to do. It’s a business case. If we build a stronger and more innovative experience for the global world,” Jenkins said, “everyone wins. If we get this right, we will all win. So many people hear ‘diversity’ and they think of everyone but them.” 

Diversity, he said, includes all demographics.

“A key is to have a dialogue together. Inclusion is everyone. It’s about how to leverage those differences to create equity and do our mission for Rotary,” he said. Jenkins’ own life experience as one of thirteen kids was broadened by Rotary International’s New Generations Exchange, which sent him to Brazil during his young adult years. 

Hope for the Hopeless

Jenkins said, “There is hope for the hopeless because of volunteers like you.” 

Rotary International has a new directive, which is that “each club shall endeavor to build a well-balanced membership that celebrates diversity.” The board of Rotary International wants to have 30 percent of Rotarians be women and for those women to be leaders by 2023. 

“To understand where we’re going, we have to understand where we’re at,” Jenkins said. “We have to be reflective of the people we’re serving.” 

Innovation is what happens when you have inclusion, he stressed. Inclusion begins with the individual Rotarians. 

“We receive every 11 million bits of information every moment. We can only consciously process 40. Our unconsciousness drives our behaviors every day. Sometimes we don’t know when we’re biased because it’s unconscious bias. It’s implicit,” Jenkins said. 

Mindsets are the hardest things to change. People might not know your background. They see how you behave. “It’s not easy to change.”

Being the Salmon

Jenkins said, “Most people are sardines and they want to survive. They want to do what the powerful people are doing. We (Rotary) are the salmon. We’re going upstream. We’re pushing against the world that was given to us.” 

“You have to have an open mind and open heart. You have to have care and compassion. You might not always have empathy, but you can have compassion,” Jenkins said. 

“We have the power to make change,” Tracey Vavarek, a Rotary district governor said. “It starts with me. Make the pledge. We are the salmon.”

Where to Find Todd

Email: bowtietoddspeaks@gmail.com

Facebook: @bowtietoddjenkins

Instagram: dr.bowtietodd

Twitter: bowtietodd

Where to Find More About Rotary and your closest club

Rotary is all over social media, but the best place to find out more is its website.

Where to find out more about me?

Right here, but also here and more about my nonfiction stories here.

You Matter. What I did when I felt forgotten.

When I was a little kid, my dad would sometimes to pick me up on Sundays, which was the day he was supposed to see me according to court papers. *

Back then I was one of a handful of kids whose parents were divorced and we’d sort of cluster together in Bedford, New Hampshire, surrounded by McMansions filled with parents where there were two parents and normalcy. This was made super obvious during an assembly in seventh grade where the counselor made all of us kids with divorced parents stand up in front of everyone else.

“There is nothing to be ashamed of,” she told us while everyone else stared.

It was the first time I felt ashamed of my parents being divorced. A kid named Erik stood next to me and muttered the f-word under his breath. This made him ridiculously cool, but it also made me feel better because he thought it was ridiculous, too.

But even compared to them, I knew I stood out because everyone else went to their dad’s for the whole weekend and their dads never actually forgot about them. Not like my dad.

I’d stare out the bedroom window at the long driveway. He was always supposed to pick me up at 10. He rarely picked me up at 10. Sometimes Mom would have to call to remind him. 

“He’s a forgetful man,” she’d say.

He was. He rarely knew the day of the week or people’s phone numbers. But their stories? He would remember those perfectly. 

I’d climb into his beige Ford Escort, horrified that my rich friends might see me in such an uncool car, and he’d hand me the check for my mom and apologize for being late. 

“I didn’t forget you,” he’d say, tearing up. “I’m so sorry. Time got away from me.”

Or sometimes it was, “I didn’t forget you. I forgot it was Sunday!”

Or sometimes it was, “I didn’t forget you. I got to talking to Uncle Kilton.”

My almost-always response was, “Mm. Hm.”

“I don’t want you to feel forgotten.”

He always said this and I knew he meant it, but I did feel forgotten a lot of the time, my poor dad. He tried so hard.

The thing is that it’s pretty normal to feel forgotten or looked over sometimes. 

And there are ways to fight that. I want you to fight that. I want you to realize how awesome you are, which is why I’m blogging this again. It’s not because I’m being lazy – I don’t think – it’s because I really want you to feel okay.

So here’s how to fight that forgotten feeling.

Expand Your Social Circle

If your friends fail to invite you to things enough to feel forgotten. Find new ones. They are missing out on your fabulousness.

Honestly, my poor dad, when this kept happening to me when I was little I found about 800 father figures to fill in. I had teacher-fathers, cousin-fathers, theater-director-fathers, piano-playing-fathers, random-family-friends-fathers, boating-neighbor-fathers, uncle-fathers. So many.

Tell People You Miss Them

Seriously, if you’re missing your friends, tell them. They might be clueless. They might even be feeling forgotten, too.

Realize That Your Important in This World

Yep. You are. You matter to your dog, to your cat, to your ferret. You matter and it’s good to remember that, but sometimes it’s so hard.

What do you do to make a difference in this world? Do you volunteer? Help your parents? Help your kids?

I bet there are more ways that you matter than you realize and when you remember those ways? It’s easier to not feel so forgotten.

Be kind to yourself. The worst is when YOU forget you.

WRITING NEWS

IN THE WOODS – READ AN EXCERPT, ORDER NOW!

My new book, IN THE WOODS, is out!

Gasp! 

It’s with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed! 

You can order this bad boy, which might make it have a sequel. The sequel would be amazing. Believe me, I know. It features caves and monsters and love. Because doesn’t every story?

In the Woods
In the Woods


ART NEWS

You can buy limited-edition prints and learn more about my art here on my site. 

PATREON OF AWESOME

You can get exclusive content, early podcasts, videos, art and listen (or read) never-to-be-officially published writings of Carrie on her Patreon. Levels go from $1 to $100 (That one includes writing coaching and editing for you wealthy peeps). 

Check it out here. 

WHAT IS PATREON? 

A lot of you might be new to Patreon and not get how it works. That’s totally cool. New things can be scary, but there’s a cool primer HERE that explains how it works. The short of it is this: You give Patreon your paypal or credit card # and they charge you whatever you level you choose at the end of each month. That money supports me sharing my writing and art and podcasts and weirdness with you. 

Don’t Text The Wrong Person LOVEY DOVEY Things

 I used to be an emergency dispatcher. I just sort of filled in shifts. This was good because:


1. It got me away from the computer and talking to real people not just Grover and my characters.

Grover: Am I not good to talk to, Cawwie? 

You are AMAZING Grover, but I also need to talk to people who can say the r’s in my name. 

2. I felt like I was helping the community and like I was this tiny part of this cool town team that helped keep people and kids safe and that was tremendously cool.

However, I’dbeen working midnights and basically getting three-hours of sleep.

Why was this bad? 



Well, one day I got a text saying: 

HOW DO I KNOW IF YOU’RE ASLEEP OR NOT? 


And I thought it was from my main man, so I sent him back something all scintilating like: 

BABY, I AM AWAKE. I AM SO SORRY. I LOVE YOU! XOXOXO YOU CAN TEXT ME

Yeah. Only that text about whether I was asleep?? It wasn’t from my main man. It was from a Internet friend who was getting a transfusion and it didn’t stop there.

I think I possibly told him:

 I miss YOU!

Only it was worse than that. I actually wrote:

HONEY I MISS YOU xoxoxoXO

Yeah. And I probably told him he was hot

I THINK YOU ARE SO SEXALICIOUS. GROWL> 

Because when I screw things up I screw them up some good. 

And the person getting the texts? He’s 19, likes boys not girls ever at all, and was staring at his cell phone thinking: 

HAS SOMEONE KIDNAPPED CARRIE’S PHONE? 

And the main man? He was all like, 

Baby, are you mad at me? Why are you not returning my texts?


Sigh. So if you take a night-shift because you are a writer and want to:

  1. Have actual income
  2. Talk to actual humans

Please remember to check who are texting and get some sleep.

This, my friends, has been today’s Ted Talk.

WRITING NEWS

IN THE WOODS – READ AN EXCERPT, ORDER NOW!

My new book, IN THE WOODS, is out!

Gasp! 

It’s with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed! 

You can order this bad boy, which might make it have a sequel. The sequel would be amazing. Believe me, I know. It features caves and monsters and love. Because doesn’t every story?

In the Woods
In the Woods


ART NEWS

You can buy limited-edition prints and learn more about my art here on my site. 

Carrie Jones Art for Sale

PATREON OF AWESOME

You can get exclusive content, early podcasts, videos, art and listen (or read) never-to-be-officially published writings of Carrie on her Patreon. Levels go from $1 to $100 (That one includes writing coaching and editing for you wealthy peeps). 

Check it out here. 

WHAT IS PATREON? 

A lot of you might be new to Patreon and not get how it works. That’s totally cool. New things can be scary, but there’s a cool primer HERE that explains how it works. The short of it is this: You give Patreon your paypal or credit card # and they charge you whatever you level you choose at the end of each month. That money supports me sharing my writing and art and podcasts and weirdness with you. 

When Good Dogs Go Bad

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