Be Brave Friday!

Hey! It’s Be Brave Friday!

And I’m being super brave this week in quiet ways. Bravery doesn’t always have to be loud or on social media or flashy, right? Sometimes the best kind of brave is the quiet kind. Fingers crossed.

I hope you’re being brave and going after your dreams. And here’s a bit of an abstract landscape I made this week. It’s still terribly hard for me to post these especially when I have so many artist friends, but here you go.

So much love to everyone. Stay safe and well, okay?

Continue reading “Be Brave Friday!”

Sometimes You Should Not Click On The Link

So because I am ridiculously nostalgic person and I like to remember when I was pre-published, I have a tendency to go back and look at old blog posts.

This is mostly to remind myself that:

  1. I have always been a wee bit anxious and goal driven.
  2. That I existed before 2020.

I just found one from August in another decade and it had a link that said, WHY AN MFA?

For those of you who aren’t musicians, writers, and artists and filmmakers, an MFA is a master’s in fine arts degree. My daughter, Em, is not getting an MFA. She’s getting an MBA and that means she has to do math. MFA is a better choice.

That was totally off topic because the point here is that when I thought, Hmm… Why MFA? and clicked the link it went to porn! Yes. Porn!

Now, because I am:

  1. Super anxious now that it’s 2020
  2. A wee bit paranoid now that it’s 2020

I screamed.

I screamed so loudly that the kitten vaulted out of the window and the other kitten ran in to see if there was a bug to attack and I stood up and jumped away from my computer proving once again that I would be the worst criminal in existence. Seriously. If you ever try to see me lie about a birthday present or tell someone that they look fan-freaking-tastic in that cowboy-hobo-outfit from Thredup that’s two sizes too small so they look like they are wearing Howdy Doody puppet clothes? Well, you would know.

After I finished screaming, I clicked out and slammed my laptop shut and sprayed it with Lysol (a sacrifice during Covid-19 times) and then gasped again while the kittens snubbed me for making them think there was a real threat like a squirrel, spider, dust-ball of dog hair, or dangling thread off a piece of clothing.

I had a couple questions once I calmed down:

  1. Why did a WHY MFA link going to a porn site now?
  2. Was this a message from the universe?
  3. Was the universe telling me that the alternative to an MFA was porn?

Yes. Actually. I think it was. And we should all be thankful I got that MFA.

Continue reading “Sometimes You Should Not Click On The Link”

When Children’s Book Writers Are Supposed To Dance Things Might Not Be Pretty

Back before COVID-19, I went to my first big writing conference (as a speaker) in L.A. (California) and I learned that there was a big gala thing and all of us children’s book writers (published and prepublished) were supposed to dance and schmooze there.

Despite the fact that my aunt owned a dance studio and I started dancing when I was two and despite the fact that author/poet/musician/playwright Ozzie Jones once gave me the best compliment about my dancing ever at a Bates College party and despite the fact that I’ve been in far too many musical theater productions, I get uptight about dancing.

Cough.

This is awkward to admit.

And I was supposed to hang out in a group of 900 children’s book writers who were going to be dancing? It was already super obvious who the extraverts are in the children’s book world and let me tell you? It’s the dancers. It’s the schmoozes. It’s the people who introduce themselves to you and aren’t awkward about it.

It is not me.

I thought children’s book writers were my people. Apparently, I was wrong. The whole situation was a lot more like a middle school dance than I thought it would be.

What I learned

1. Some writers can actually dance. I mean, they bend backwards. They throw off shoes. They are not me.

Get your boogie on and shuck off those ukeleles, authors!

2. Author John Green blushes and sort of crumples in half when kids tell them they’ve read Looking for Alaska‘s scene that involves a penis.

I am not spoiling here, but… I’m sure you can guess the scene. The truth is that scene has a bit of the Judy Blume phenom going for it. Kids I knew flipped to it, shared it with friends, even before or after they’ve read the whole book and I could go on for awhile about this and how it’s a very okay thing, but that would be a much longer post for later in the week. 

Also, despite a lot of lady writers asking him to dance, John Green managed to not dance. I envied him.

See, John. This is almost as steamy as your scene, and Raintree County is ancient, although steamy. 

3. It is hard to find people you know in a crowd of 900 and sometimes you just have to give it all up and hang with people you barely know. When doing this, try not to talk about the positive beauty of fleece TOO much. They will run away. 

4. Holding a beer makes dancing easier. I did not do this, but I should have. Thanks for the tip, Lisa Yee!

5. Once you tell people that you’re running off to get someone else to come dance it is REALLY REALLY hard to find those people again. Try not to worry that they think you were blowing them off and you are an evil mean girl or something.

I’m so sorry I lost you! I was busy dying inside from social anxiety.

6. Author Lisa Yee tells amazing stories. Many include peeps. Some include pee. Does there seem to be a connection?

I found this photo on Pinterest. Thank you, Pinterest!

Rock on, Little Peep. Rock on!

7. It’s okay to stand in the big grass circle by the taco makings instead of dancing because there will be other people there who aren’t drunk enough to dance either. These are some of your fellow introverts. Embrace them. Ask first though because not everyone likes embracing.

8. Even when there’s lots of room to spread out people will clump up to dance. I am not sure if this is because it is fun getting elbowed in the head or just for the hiding-your-dance-skills in a bunch of other people factor. Or maybe it’s just the hope for getting lucky is greater the closer you are to other bodies. Does anyone know? Is this an extrovert thing or an introvert thing?

9. Sometimes people can do amazing things with aluminum foil. Sometimes people can’t. This can be dangerous when the foil is used to make clothing. No. I am not posting a picture of this here. But also foil-clothing and dancing can lead to some NSFW photos of writers. Don’t enthusiastically dance if you’re only wearing aluminum-foil clothing unless you’re okay with other writers seeing body parts that are usually covered up and stuff.

10. Writer Cecil C (BEIGE) can hold while dancing:
    1. Plate of food.
    2. Eating utensil
    3. Massive funky-cool bag/purse
    4. Video camera
    All at the same time with a still-healing wrist, which obviously qualifies her for this status

 Yes, she is the dynamic force of both Wonderwoman and Superman combined! That’s super power.

And there you go. Helpful hints for when you go to a conference and there are a bunch of children’s book writers dancing.

Continue reading “When Children’s Book Writers Are Supposed To Dance Things Might Not Be Pretty”

The Poop And The Magician, Archetypes and You

The Poop And The Magician, Archetypes and You

 
 
00:00 / 00:16:11
 
1X
 

Over the past couple of months, we’ve been talking a lot about archetypes and how you can use them in writing and life, but we’ve failed to discuss where all this talk stems from. 

It’s all from Carl Jung who is an old, dead, psychology pioneer who didn’t agree with another old dead guy, Sigmund Freud. 

Jung was about the ‘collective unconsciousness.’ And he thought that in humanity’s collective unconsciousness there were basically twelve archetypes of character. We define this in our last podcast and this week, we’re finishing up with those twelve archetypes as they relate to finding poop in your driveway because we’re weird like that. 

THE REMAINING ARCHETYPES!

7. The Magician

It’s all about growing and evolving but the crankier magicians are not revolutionaries who lift up others. Instead, they are cranky buttfaces who turn positives into negatives and their attitude is contagious. A magician will see poop in the driveway and potentially think of a way to make it an energy source that will reduce carbon emissions. Or they might just tweet, “Poop in driveway. Angst. Everything completely sucks. What is the point? 

8. The Hero

Ah. Power. The hero likes it. The hero is vital and all about battling for honor or power. They do not like to lose. They do not give up. They find that poop and loft it at the doghouse of the enemy. They tweet a photo of poop smeared, “I protect my own. Consider yourself warned.” 

They then make a neighborhood watch for pooping dogs, create some HOA rules, call the police, and try to control the situation with some outdoor spy cameras. Remember. They do not lose. They like to control situations. They can sometimes be a little too controlling and ambitious. 

9. The Rebel

There is poop in the rebel’s driveway. They probably put it there. They don’t care if people have opinions about this poop. They should all mind their own business and stop pressuring the rebel. 

The rebel does not use social media because social media is all about other people’s opinions and the rebel could care less. Poop is definitely in their driveway and the rebel does not care. 

10. The Lover

Poop? Poop is in the lover’s driveway? But the lover is all about love and loving others and feeling loved and this? This poop is not pleasing. It is not about love. It is a blob of yuck. 

The lover cries and tweets and asks for uplifting sayings and photos. People send memes and photos of their kittens. One comes and takes care of the poop for them. The lover feels #blessed. 

11. The Jester

POOP! OMG! Poop is in the driveway! Hahahahaha! The jester gets the joke. And the joke isn’t just poop. It’s life. Crap happens. You might as well make it funny. 

The jester tweets something terribly lewd about the poop. They get Twitter banned for a day. The next day they do it again and start a 120-day spree of poop tweets. It goes viral. They get a podcast. 

12. The Orphan

Our last one is so sad. It is the orphan. The orphan is already a sad little human who feels like they are basically a walking wound. And here? Here is someone putting poop on their wound. Well, really on their driveway, but it’s kind of the same thing, isn’t it? It’s all about disappointment and betrayal and hurt and pain.

The orphan quickly manipulates all of Twitter into a GoFundMe to help them survive the trauma of the dog poop. They ask someone else to set up and be in charge of this Twitter so they can maintain their innocent brand. 

Since this is the 564th GoFundMe they’ve been a part of in the last four months, they only raise four dollars. The innocent is disappointed that nobody is helping or taking charge of their life. They go out and poop on their driveway themselves again. Maybe this time it will work? The orphan hopes so. 

Writing Tip of the Pod

Be original in your writing. Hook into those archetypes, but don’t have your characters just be an archetype.

Dog Tip For Life

Don’t stop moving. Live your life now while you have one.

SHOUT OUT

The music we’ve clipped and shortened in this podcast is awesome and is made available through the Creative Commons License. Here’s a link to that and the artist’s website. Who is this artist and what is this song?  It’s “Night Owl” by Broke For Free.

Continue reading “The Poop And The Magician, Archetypes and You”

GROWING UP WITH GRIT A BONUS PODCAST INTERVIEW WITH CHANTAL WATTS

GROWING UP WITH GRIT A BONUS PODCAST INTERVIEW WITH CHANTAL WATTS

 
 
00:00 / 00:21:39
 
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Award-winning news producer, blogger, podcaster, human, Chantal Watts is a bit of a force and she joins us on the podcast today and talks about her growing up, which reminds me so much of Jared Leto, and also how to be gritty and strong.

She’s amazing and I hope you’ll check it out.

Chantal’s Links of Awesome.

Chantal’s Instagram

Full Frontal Nerdity!


WHERE TO FIND OUR PODCAST, DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE.

The podcast link if you don’t see it above. Plus, it’s everywhere like Apple Music, iTunesStitcherSpotify, and more. Just google, “DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE” then like and subscribe.

Join the 251,000 people who have downloaded episodes and marveled at our raw weirdness. You can subscribe pretty much anywhere.


This week’s episode about poop, dentists, surgery, flavored alcohol and Jung.

LAST WEEK’S EPISODE about slug bait, sages and archetypes. 

Last week’s bonus podcast with Jessica Burkhart! 

A link to our podcast about fatal errors, scenes, and ghost reaper sauce


SHOUT OUT

The music we’ve clipped and shortened in this podcast is awesome and is made available through the Creative Commons License. Here’s a link to that and the artist’s website. Who is this artist and what is this song?  It’s “Night Owl” by Broke For Free.


COME WRITE WITH ME! 

I coach, have a class, and edit things. Find out more here. 


NEW BOOK OF AWESOME- THE PLACES WE HIDE

I have a new book out!!!!!! It’s an adult mystery set in the town where we live, which is Bar Harbor, Maine. You can order it here. And you totally should. 

And if you click through to this link, you can read the first chapter! 

And click here to learn about the book’s inspiration and what I learned about myself when I was writing it.

The Dog Peed on My Bridesmaid Dress

Sometimes things happen that you can’t control. We call this chaos, usually. But chaos is a part of our lives and our societies and sometimes? It comes in the form of a small dog.

The set-uP

  • I was in seventh grade.
  • My stepfather had just died. It was my brother’s wedding. 
  • I was totally in love with Tim, my much older (22) step-cousin. He had nice hair. It was silver. Plus, he always tried to make sure I didn’t fall off boats. You’ve got to respect that.

The dress

  • Was two sizes too big. That’s because I lost a lot of weight because my dad died. 
  • Was this Pepto-Bismol pink
  • Required a hoop skirt.
  • Had fake flowers for shoulder straps.
  • Was tiered like a wedding cake.

What happened


Right before the wedding, at the house of the parents of the bride, I put on my horrible gown.

This mauve gown sagged everywhere including where my breasts were (still are, actually. My breasts have not. I repeat: HAVE NOT moved) and the head maid of honor lady was trying to duct tape the sides in because you could see right down it.

The attempt to keep my dress from gaping didn’t really work and the tape was scratching. I was super paranoid that everyone was going to be looking down my dress and my mental state? It was like super anxiety blow-out.

Then when we were heading out to the car, I picked up the bride’s family’s dog, Midge. It turns out you are not supposed to pick up Midge. Why?

Midge pees when you pick her up. Apparently, Midge also had anxiety.

I did not know this.

Midge peed all over my dress. Yes, this happened while I was wearing it. There was this dark stain, going down the mauve. It hit the duct tape. It hit everything.

Hell Breaks Loose

Cue: Mother of the bride swearing.


Cue: Maid of Honor yelling, “CARRIE!!! YOU PICKED UP MIDGE! JESUS! JESUS! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?”

They rushed me inside, dabbed at me with a face cloth, and then dried me with a hair dryer. 

Me: I smell like pee.
Bride: YOU. SMELL. FINE.
Father of the Bride: She smells like piss. 

Cue: Maid of Honor spraying lilac perfume all over me. I associate lilacs with pee now.

So, I went to the wedding smelling like lilac and pee. My super cute cousin asked me to a pity dance. I was in Heaven. He leaned in. I was in super Heaven. I was ready to die of bliss. 

Super Cute Cousin: Does it smell like urine?

Me:

Super Cute Cousin:

Me: Lilacs. I smell lilacs.

So smooth.


WHERE TO FIND OUR PODCAST, DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE.

The podcast link if you don’t see it above. Plus, it’s everywhere like Apple Music, iTunesStitcherSpotify, and more. Just google, “DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE” then like and subscribe.

Join the 251,000 people who have downloaded episodes and marveled at our raw weirdness. You can subscribe pretty much anywhere.


This week’s episode about poop, dentists, surgery, flavored alcohol and Jung.

LAST WEEK’S EPISODE about slug bait, sages and archetypes. 

Last week’s bonus podcast with Jessica Burkhart! 

A link to our podcast about fatal errors, scenes, and ghost reaper sauce


COME WRITE WITH ME! 

I coach, have a class, and edit things. Find out more here. 


NEW BOOK OF AWESOME- THE PLACES WE HIDE

I have a new book out!!!!!! It’s an adult mystery set in the town where we live, which is Bar Harbor, Maine. You can order it here. And you totally should. 

And if you click through to this link, you can read the first chapter! 

And click here to learn about the book’s inspiration and what I learned about myself when I was writing it.

Poop, Hate, Dentists, Flavored Booze and Jungian Archetypes

Poop, Hate, Dentists, Flavored Booze and Jungian Archetypes

 
 
00:00 / 00:22:34
 
1X
 

Over the past couple of months, we’ve been talking a lot about archetypes and how you can use them in writing and life, but we’ve failed to discuss where all this talk stems from. 

It’s all from Carl Jung who is an old, dead, psychology pioneer who didn’t agree with another old dead guy, Sigmund Freud. 

Jung was about the ‘collective unconsciousness.’ And he thought that in humanity’s collective unconsciousness there were basically twelve archetypes of character. It’s like if we are all part of a video game and the programmer only made twelve basic characters. 

According to “Exploring Your Mind,” 

To define his 12 archetypes of personality, Jung studied the symbols and myths of many different cultures. These archetypes represent behavior patterns that make up different ways of being. They’re also cultural symbols and images that exist in the collective unconscious.

He defined the 12 Jungian archetypes as an innate tendency to generate images with intense emotional meaning that express the relational primacy of human life. They’re imprints that are buried in our unconscious. These terms define the particular traits that we all have.

Exploring Your Mind

So here’s the basic rundown of those twelve as related to poop found in the middle of the driveway because how else can you take a new spin on this? Every single psych major has blogged about archetypes. We’re going to do the first six in this podcast and the next six next week. Cool right? It’s like a cliffhanger. 

Let’s start. Get ready for poop talk.

The Sage

It’s all about being smart and thinking. If someone poops, the sage is going to want to examine the poop, analyze the poop, and probably create a witty yet analytical tweet about the poop.

The Innocent

The innocent is optimistic that the poop randomly sitting in the middle of their driveway is meant for good. They will be happy that someone was capable of pooping out in the open like that. They will tweet about the goodness of pleasing others and possibly create a self-help book about poop or at least look for one which they will not download illegally but instead buy from a nice local independent bookstore. They might even put up a sign that says, “Feel free to come inside and use the bathroom next time, but no judgement.” 

The Explorer

This person is all about adventure and new things. They see the poop on the driveway and think, “Maybe I should try this.” They tweet asking people about the strangest places they’ve pooped. They are unsatisfied with their own pooping experiences and now on the quest for the perfect poop place. They create an entirely new profile about it and call it “POOPING INTO THE UNKNOWN.” They immediately have 2.5 million followers. 

The Ruler/Tyrant

The ruler leads. The poop is disorder. It is on their driveway! This is unstable. This is totally not excellent. The ruler calls a minion to remove the poop and immediately tweets, “Listen. To. Me. Whoever pooped on my driveway, the most amazing driveway anywhere ever, is totally going to pay.” 

The Creator/Artist

So, yeah. They see the poop. They want to transform the poop. They make an art piece about it. They tweet a joke. They think about making an art piece for longer time than they spend actually creating it. Eventually, they remove the poop but only after taking and posting images of its decay for 365 days. The New York Times ends up featuring it on its art page and declaring it’s symbolic of the state of the country. 

The Caregiver/Martyr

The caregiver is all about big feelings and love. The caregiver sees the poop in their driveway and wants to keep everyone else from being traumatized by the poop. They quickly clean up the poop, spray the entire driveway with bleach so nobody can get sick. They have sacrificed their entire Saturday morning keeping everyone safe. They do not tweet directly about the poop but instead say something like, “It’s so hard to keep those you love safe in this word of defecation, but you just have to keep doing it. Be kind and be sanitary, loved ones. I am rooting for you.” 

Writing Tip of the Pod

It’s okay to take regurgitated crap and put a new spin on it. But also think about how your characters would react to things, not just how you react to things. 

Dog Tip for Life

Poop happens. How you react to that poop is up to you. 

Random Thought

To hear about the dentist, flavored alcohol and hate-videos, you have to listen to our podcast and the opening random thought section.

SHOUT OUT

The music we’ve clipped and shortened in this podcast is awesome and is made available through the Creative Commons License. Here’s a link to that and the artist’s website. Who is this artist and what is this song?  It’s “Night Owl” by Broke For Free.


WHERE TO FIND OUR PODCAST, DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE.

The podcast link if you don’t see it above. Plus, it’s everywhere like Apple Music, iTunesStitcherSpotify, and more. Just google, “DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE” then like and subscribe.

Join the 251,000 people who have downloaded episodes and marveled at our raw weirdness. You can subscribe pretty much anywhere.


LAST WEEK’S EPISODE about slug bait, sages and archetypes. 

Last week’s bonus podcast with Jessica Burkhart! 

A link to our podcast about fatal errors, scenes, and ghost reaper sauce


COME WRITE WITH ME! 

I coach, have a class, and edit things. Find out more here. 


NEW BOOK OF AWESOME- THE PLACES WE HIDE

I have a new book out!!!!!! It’s an adult mystery set in the town where we live, which is Bar Harbor, Maine. You can order it here. And you totally should. 

And if you click through to this link, you can read the first chapter! 

And click here to learn about the book’s inspiration and what I learned about myself when I was writing it.

You Are More Than The Things That Have Happened To You

So, a long time ago, I was driving the very unhappy cat Lyra to the kitty spa so that she could not be one massive, walking clump of kitty fur, I was listening to the radio and Bob and Sheri, these syndicated talk-show people.

They were talking about what your purpose is in life.

This made Lyra howl even louder, because a ‘life purpose’ talk is pretty heavy stuff for a cat at 7:55 a.m. especially when you’re in a kitty carrier.

Lyra’s Ghost: That is not while I was howling. I was howling because I was in a small, dark place; the radio was on much too loud and existential questions are dull. Your purpose in life was to feed me, that was all.

And Sheri said that her purpose in life is to make people realize that they are more than the things that have happened to them.

You Are More Than The Things That Have Happened To You.

This was way too big a wow moment for me at 7:55 a.m.

This was a big wow moment for two reasons:

1. My old book GIRL, HERO is all about this. It’s all about Liliana defining herself and taking control of who she is instead of having the horrible things that have happened to her define her. Yeah, she figures this out while writing letters to John Wayne, a dead movie star with some major issues of his own, but whatever.

2. I think that making people realize that they are more than the events in their life is really the purpose of all writing even when we (the writers) don’t realize it. 

I mean, isn’t it?

On that ancient tv show Lost, the people stranded on the island realize that they are more than survivors of a plane crash. One by one, they face demons, encounter fate and destiny, make choices that determine who their character is.

Lost Cast: Our purpose is to look sexy while running from smoke monsters and falling out of helicopters and being shot and being locked in cages meant for panda bears and standing fully dressed in water. Isn’t yours? 

Or even on, um…. The Princess Diaries. Do you all remember The Princess Diaries?

Isn’t Mia more than someone who drives a convertible in the rain and gets really wet, and totally messes up the car’s interior and everything? Isn’t she more than someone who stinks at math? Isn’t she more than someone who learns how to shoot an arrow while a really cute boy watches?

Anyway…. Yes. She is. She is more than just the events that happen to her. She is more than the bad things. She is more than the good things. 

I think we all are. Aren’t we?

I hope so, because I’d like to think that I’m not defined just by that one time my skirt fell down when I was getting out of a taxi in New York. Or that time the man in the grocery store parking lot gave me the finger. Or that time…. You get the picture, right?

And when we write stories, we want our characters to be so full and rich that they sing off the page, so we can feel them.

Lyra’s Ghost: Carrie, sometimes I am so embarrassed that you are my human. But I still love you and haunt you from the kitty grave.

Yes, she really does. Haunt me. I’m not sure about the love part. 🙂


WHERE TO FIND OUR PODCAST, DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE.

The podcast link if you don’t see it above. Plus, it’s everywhere like Apple Music, iTunesStitcherSpotify, and more. Just google, “DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE” then like and subscribe.

Join the 250,000 people who have downloaded episodes and marveled at our raw weirdness. You can subscribe pretty much anywhere.


Last week’s podcast about sexiness and consistency! 

Last week’s bonus podcast with Lindsay Schultz, the queen of misfit toys and parenthetical hipster.

A link to our podcast about fatal errors, scenes, and ghost reaper sauce


COME WRITE WITH ME! 

I coach, have a class, and edit things. Find out more here. 


NEW BOOK OF AWESOME- THE PLACES WE HIDE

I have a new book out!!!!!! It’s an adult mystery set in the town where we live, which is Bar Harbor, Maine. You can order it here. And you totally should. 

And if you click through to this link, you can read the first chapter! 

And click here to learn about the book’s inspiration and what I learned about myself when I was writing it.

Queen of Misfit Toys and the Parenthetical Hipster

Queen of Misfit Toys and the Parenthetical Hipster

 
 
00:00 / 00:29:50
 
1X
 

Hey! Welcome to a bonus interview episode of Dogs are Smarter Than People, the usually quirky podcast that gives writing tips and life tips. With us today is Lindsay Schultz

Any time I’m driving through or near Tennessee, Lindsay always offers to show me around Nashville and I just have to tell you that some day I am going to take you up on that. What’s it like in Nashville now during a pandemic? 

Lindsay tells us that and why on her Facebook profile she has the word hipster in a parenthetical. She also claims to be the queen on the island of misfit toys.

Check out our interview to find out why.


WHERE TO FIND OUR PODCAST, DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE.

The podcast link if you don’t see it above. Plus, it’s everywhere like Apple Music, iTunesStitcherSpotify, and more. Just google, “DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE” then like and subscribe.

Join the 250,000 people who have downloaded episodes and marveled at our raw weirdness. You can subscribe pretty much anywhere.


This week’s podcast about sexiness and consistency!

LAST WEEK’S EPISODE about slug bait, sages and archetypes. 

Last week’s bonus podcast with Jessica Burkhart! 

A link to our podcast about fatal errors, scenes, and ghost reaper sauce


COME WRITE WITH ME! 

I coach, have a class, and edit things. Find out more here. 


NEW BOOK OF AWESOME- THE PLACES WE HIDE

I have a new book out!!!!!! It’s an adult mystery set in the town where we live, which is Bar Harbor, Maine. You can order it here. And you totally should. 

And if you click through to this link, you can read the first chapter! 

And click here to learn about the book’s inspiration and what I learned about myself when I was writing it.

One Time My Kid Got On the Wrong Plane

I am and always will be one of those moms who wants their kids to be independent and have adventures and not be coddled. But I am also one of those worst-case-scenario moms who stresses the heck out whenever I am not with them. So, apparently because of this, my daughter, Em, does super stressful things throughout her life:

Be the flyer for cheerleading

Jump off buildings in stunt camps

Go to Israel to study Krav Maga when there are missiles

Be female.

Join the Army.

There’s a trend here, right? Almost always, Em is okay because she is smart and competent and most of the time my mommy fears do not happen, but one of my biggest mommy fears happened on this date.

My daughter got on the wrong plane at a NY airport and I was not there. She was fourteen. FOURTEEN!

It happened.

So the Emster was done with this super cool Fresh Film Program in New York City (more about that in another blog) and she was flying home. She did everything right:

1. She got a car and had money to pay it. She got in the car at 8 a.m.
2. She told the driver she wanted to go to US Airways at Laguardia Airport.
3. She buckled her seat belt. Gold star, Em! Gold star!

But then things went wrong. There was an accident. Traffic stalled. She was stuck there for about an hour. But finally they moved again. The driver dropped her off at the airport, but wait — He dropped her off at the United terminal. Em realized this once she gets inside because she was/is brilliant.

She asked for help. Twice. She ran to the shuttle for the other terminal. The shuttle bus doors had just closed. She looked hopeless. 

 Em is the one smiling with teeth. 😉

Hopeless didn’t work as a look. What could she do?

So, instead she goes into Looking Cute mode. The shuttle bus doors magically opened.  She asked the driver for help. He told her to hop on. She did.

There were a MILLION stops but they finally arrive at the terminal. She rushed to the kiosk to get her boarding pass but she didn’t have a credit card because she is a kid and she can’t pay the $20 for her luggage. Someone else helps. She gave them cash. How cool is that person? Super cool, honestly.

The airport people didn’t even make her weigh her suitcase. Score! (Note: Shoes are heavy. Em likes shoes). 

She found the Security Screening all by herself. She made it through. She found her gate all by herself.

It was 9:30. Her plane was supposed to leave at 10.

There was nobody milling around like normal. Em, being the astute little camper that she is, went to the woman at the little podium/counter thing and asked if this was the gate for the Bangor, Maine flight.

Woman: That flight is closed.

Em: !!!!!

She decided to look cute again.


Woman (speaks into walkie-talkie): MUMBLE MUMBLE.

Em: ?????!!!!

Woman (to Em):
 Okay. You can go out. The plane is on the tarmac.

They let her through the doors. She is rushed to the airplane, and she climbed up the stairs, got on, looked at her ticket and then said to the flight attendant: 
Is this the plane to Bangor, Maine?

Flight attendant person: No. This is the plane to Buffalo.

Em:

Flight attendant person:
 The Bangor plane is behind us, I think.

So Em ran down the stairs, across the tarmac and towards a plane that was completely obscured by the Buffalo plane. She dropped things on the tarmac. She picked things up. She ran. She scrambled up the flight of stairs and said, “Is this the plane to Bangor?”

It was.

But wait! 

Her seat was gone. 

“NO!!!!!!!!” Em screamed.

But they let her sit in the exit row all by herself. She buckled up and made it. Nobody kidnapped her. She did not fly to Buffalo. She flew home. 

She is amazing.

And cute.


WHERE TO FIND OUR PODCAST, DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE.

The podcast link if you don’t see it above. Plus, it’s everywhere like Apple Music, iTunesStitcherSpotify, and more. Just google, “DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE” then like and subscribe.

Join the 250,000 people who have downloaded episodes and marveled at our raw weirdness. You can subscribe pretty much anywhere.


LAST WEEK’S EPISODE about slug bait, sages and archetypes. 

Last week’s bonus podcast with Jessica Burkhart! 

A link to our podcast about fatal errors, scenes, and ghost reaper sauce

COME WRITE WITH ME! 

I coach, have a class, and edit things. Find out more here. 


NEW BOOK OF AWESOME- THE PLACES WE HIDE

I have a new book out!!!!!! It’s an adult mystery set in the town where we live, which is Bar Harbor, Maine. You can order it here. And you totally should. 

And if you click through to this link, you can read the first chapter! 

And click here to learn about the book’s inspiration and what I learned about myself when I was writing it.