How To Write Deep Point of View
How To Write Deep Point of View

Carrie Jones

Mar 31, 2026

yellow labrador puppies in green plastic container
Photo by Steve Sewell on Unsplash

Deep point of view is basically where I live, which is why it makes it hard for me to write a newspaper story that’s straight news. It’s a bit opposite of that, actually.

Deep point of view, though, is a really great tool when writing young adult novels and immersive stories. It’s a tool that you’ll want in your writer’s tool box.

Enough intro! Let’s get into it.


What Is Deep Point of View?

It’s when you’re in the point of view of the character and the narrative voice? It’s not all intruding on stuff. Or if you want to sound more hoity-toity like on the Editors’ Blog, which explains,

“Deep POV is third-person subjective taken a step farther than the normal

“Thus readers see scenes through the viewpoint character, feel story events as that character does. What that character sees, the reader sees. What the character feels or thinks, the reader knows.

“And the reader knows automatically that what is being reported are the thoughts and feelings and the intentions of the viewpoint character.

“Deep POV allows writers to do away with he thought, he felt, he wondered, he saw, all those phrases that intrude into the fiction, that unnecessarily encumber story.”

I am so intrigued by this puppy’s point of view.

Let’s do some examples.

So, this is a third-person limited point of view. (The simplest way of explaining this is it’s when the narrative voice isn’t I but still focused on just one person.)

It was already five and the neighbors were coming over for dinner.

Carrie thought, “Gosh, I hope I remembered to turn on the oven.”

It’s a bit gaumy. It feels like there’s a narrator. We’re a bit distanced, right?

This is that third person limited point of view without the filtering of “Carrie thought.”

Here’s it in deep point of view.

It was already five and the neighbors were coming over for dinner. Gosh, did I turn on the oven?

Or in third, but even deeper

It was already five and the neighbors were coming over for dinner. Gosh, did Carrie remember to turn on the oven?


Why is Deep POV Good?

litter of dogs fall in line beside wall
Photo by Hannah Lim on Unsplash

It’s good because it makes stronger connections between the reader and the story because of those lack of filters.

It usually makes the character more developed because you’re right in their head with them.

It’s more freaking lively

It’s less blah, blah, blah and more concise in a Raymond Carver sort of way.


So How Do You Do THIS Deep POV Thing?

You have to know who your character is and don’t be afraid to lose yourself in the character.

Cut out the middleman/narrator and just use your character’s voice.

Get rid of those distancing words like “she heard,” “he felt,” “they noticed.”

Don’t hop around into other characters’ heads.

But it’s also about subtext

Subtext is gestures, glances, and body language and how that’s interpreted. It’s veiled conversations, innuendos, and shared experiences. This is a HUGE component of real life communication you need to incorporate into your fiction. But there’s art to it. The reader has to know what’s really being communicated. – Lisa Hall-Wilson

“Deep point of view is about eliminating distance between the reader and the point of view character (POVC) and the beginner guides will tell you to look for words like watched, thought, heard, felt, etc.

“Remove the dialogue tags and use beats instead. Write with immediacy instead of recalling the action. These are all great starting places and are necessary, but there are so many ways you (as the writer) insert yourself into the story and break the fictive dream for readers. Learning to recognize these and eliminate them takes practice and objectivity.”

It’s about knowing your character and the world and being in the moment versus telling the moment.

Everything the character sees comes from what the character has already experienced. So the character doesn’t explain the whole world. She just lives in the whole world.

Carrie sits at her desk when she looks up out her window and sees a kid on skateboard fall off.

Super boring, right, even though it’s an ouchy moment.

Try this instead.

Something rattled outside. The world shook just the tiniest of bits. The kid on the skateboard’s pants were too long, hanging below the deck of the board. Dangerous. Everyone always wiped out there, right at the corner of School Street and Edgewood. This kid was no different. People were no different either. People always fell down.

It’s also about internal dialogue

Your point-of-view character needs to have an internal life, too. Bridget Jones’s Diary is rather insipid but totally fun. It’s so fun because we’re right inside her head. That’s an extreme example of deep point-of-view in the first person. In my simplest explanation, the first person POV is just when the narrator is the “I” or me.

Jamie Schmidt has a great example of this:

“I jumped at the loud noise.

“This isn’t enough (plus, it’s telling, not showing).

“Deep POV would be: What the heck was that? My heart slammed into my chest at the sound of the window shattering. (Plus, it’s showing, not telling.)”

You can see that right? And it happens in all POVs. And it’s really a lot about showing not telling. Jamie has another good example here.

“First Person: I couldn’t believe this was happening to me. My knees shook as I walked up on stage to get my award.

“Third Person: Sheila couldn’t believe this was happening to her. Her knees shook as she walked up on stage to get her award.

Deep POV: OMG. OMG. Sheila sat stunned. She didn’t hear the applause over the pounding of her heart. She stumbled in her new heels as she walked up on stage to get her award.”


WAYS TO CHECK IF YOU’RE DOING THE DEEP POV THING

  1. Is your narrator butting in with comments?
  2. Have you banished filtering/distancing words like saw, looked, heard, felt?
  3. Is the information you’re putting out there in the moment without a bunch of conclusions (telling bits) around it?
  4. Are you using subtext?
  5. Are there no italics for the internal monologue and no “I thought” or “She thought” instead the thoughts are just there in the moment?
  6. Are you using more dialogue beats and less dialogue tags? Let me know if you all don’t know this difference. Maybe I’ll just write about it anyway.

RESOURCES

https://www.masterclass.com/articles/how-to-write-deep-pov#how-to-write-in-deep-point-of-view

https://www.instituteforwriters.com/achieving-deep-pov.aspx

https://theeditorsblog.net/2011/11/16/deep-pov-whats-so-deep-about-it


QUICK NOTE.

This blog/newsletter/Substack/whatever will always be free to read (except for Saturday’s writing posts, but it’s also how I pay my bills. If a paid subscription is way too big an ask, I’m always thankful for help buying dog treats. Or, honestly, just sharing that this Substack exists is cool.

I usually send these emails twice a week.

*My WRITE BETTER NOW posts also come twice a week if you sign up for them, too, which you should.

And COMFORTING is where I just have no filter at all and am totally schmaltzy is here. That’s once a week usually.

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By carriejonesbooks

I am the NYT and internationally-bestselling author of children's books, which include the NEED series, FLYING series, TIME STOPPERS series, DEAR BULLY and other books. I like hedgehogs and puppies and warm places. I have none of these things in my life.

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