Adriatic Ravioli of Clichés

Sometimes, you may get feedback that you don’t agree with and maybe that feedback is that your story is full of clichés . Those poops. This is the comforting recipe for you in that time of need. Avoid those naysayers like the plague! 🙂

Adriatic Ravioli of Clichés

Recipe by Carrie
Servings

4

servings
Prep time

30

minutes
Cooking time

40

minutes
Calories

300

kcal

Stuff That Goes In It

  • 1 lb asparagus — fresh

  • 1 lb cheese ravioli — small, frozen

  • 5 TB butter or margarine

  • 1 lg red bell pepper — cut into skinny, 2-inch-long strips

  • ½ lb mushrooms — thinly sliced

  • 4 lg garlic cloves — peeled and minced

  • 3 TB unbleached white flour

  • 2½ c milk

  • ¼ ts salt

  • 1 ts paprika — plus more if you like to bling out your food

  • 1 TB Dijon mustard

  • ¼ c fresh basil — chopped

  • ½ c Romano cheese — (2 ounces), finely grated

  • Pepper

  • Finely grated Parmesan for serving (more bling)

How to Make It

  • Find a large pot. Think about how that pot is as old as the hills.
  • Put water in the pot.
  • Put that pot on a burner and make that water boil, but don’t watch it! A watched pot never boils. Actually, DO watch it because you don’t want it to boil over.
  • Meanwhile, go find your asparagus and snap off and trash the tough ends. Imagine that you are snapping and discarding the beta reader who said you had too many cliches in your story. That jerk.
  • Cut the asparagus into 1-inch pieces.
  • Steam your asparagus for about 6 to 8 minutes, until it is barely tender and cute as a button.
  • Set it somewhere. Think about why your beta reader and agent hate cliches. You’d thought they were the salt of the earth. Were you wrong?
  • Cook the ravioli. Stir it once in awhile. Begin cooking the ravioli, stirring occasionally. Look at it. It’s in hot water.
  • Find a skillet. Put it on medium heat and melt 1 TB of butter in it. It’s a baptism of fire for that pour butter.
  • Saute the mushrooms, pepper and garlic about three minutes.
  • Take those tender veggies away from the harsh heat.
  • Get the rest of the butter and a big saucepan. Put them on medium heat.
  • Find the flour and whisk it into the butter and do that for about two minutes before slowly pouring in the milk. Do not spill the milk that way you don’t have to cry over it.
  • Keep whisking. It is what it is.
  • Whisk for forever, which is basically 3 to 5 minutes when whisking. Finish in the nick of time, right before your wrist falls off.
  • Add the salt, paprika, mustard, basil, Romano cheese, and pepper and let the good times roll!
  • Stir until the cheese melts. Only time will tell how long that will take.
  • Put the heat on super low and stir in the vegetables. Keep your chin up and ignore those naysayers.
  • Once the ravioli is floating, drain it, put it in a bowl.
  • Put a ring on it. I mean, put the sauce on it.
  • Toss.
  • And last but not least, bling it out with paprika and parmesan.

Notes

  • This awesome recipe is from Ginny Callan’s, Beyond The Moon Cookbook. The vegetarian bible of my youth.

WHY WON’T ANYONE BUY MY BOOK ROASTED CHERRY TOMATO SAUCE

WHY WON’T ANYONE BUY MY BOOK ROASTED CHERRY TOMATO SAUCE

Recipe by CarrieCourse: Uncategorized
Servings

4

servings
Prep time

30

minutes
Cooking time

40

minutes
Calories

300

kcal

Stuff That Goes In It

  • 2–3 lbs cherry tomatoes, stems removed just like how traditional publishing has removed your heart through their constant rejections.

  • 1/4 cup best-quality olive oil you can afford, and a bit more for roasting, so basically whatever brand is cheapest at WalMart because YOU HAVE NOT SOLD YOUR BOOK YET!

  • 1 large yellow onion, diced up. Be careful with the knife, okay?

  • 1 Tbsp fresh garlic, minced. Seriously. Be careful. Knives and round things don’t always go together, much like your book and Harper Collins apparently.

  • Fancy herbs! A small bunch of fresh basil leaves;
    3–4 sprigs, fresh thyme, stems removed;
    kosher salt and freshly-ground black pepper, to taste;
    steak seasoning if you can’t find any herbs–you can improvise here just like you improvised the use of a semicolon 7,777 times in you 50,000-word novel. Just kidding! Just kidding!

How to Make It

  • Find the oven and turn it on. No not that way! Power it on and set the temperature to 400 Fahrenheit or 204 Celsius.

    Feel good about that positive action step towards your goal.

    Think of other positive action steps towards your goal of traditional publishing.

    Possibly cry by the sink as you clean your cherry tomatoes. Wash your tears down the sink. Add this to your novel and then come back to the kitchen.
  • Take your beautiful little baby tomatoes and use just enough of that expensive olive oil to lightly coat them. You might want to toss them around.

    Do not take out your frustrations on the tomatoes. Realize you and your books are the tomatoes, totally at the whim of a subjective industry.

  • Spread your tomatoes out on a baking pan or sheet. Something rimmed. You don’t want them to tumble off into the abyss of the stove.

    Realize that thought/image really makes your heart hurt. Definitely get a rimmed sheet.

  • Cook for about 25-30 minutes. Roast until they’ve bursted or started to shrivel.

    Oh, salty unicorns! This metaphor hurts!


  • Take them out of the oven.

    Put all that olive oil into a sauce pan or pot that has a heavy bottom. Ponder your own heavy bottom because you followed the experts’ advice and kept your butt in chair to write your novel. AND FOR WHAT? A heavy bottom.
  • Cry into the sink again as you heat that oil on medium and wait for it to shimmer in a way that your writing career isn’t, damn it.
  • Put onions into the pot so you have an excuse to cry. Stir them a bit for around 4-5 minutes.
  • Add garlic. Realize you should have put freaking vampires in your book to get it to sell. Vow to do that.
  • Put those shriveled tomatoes and their cooking liquid (aka tears) and herbs in with the garlic and onion. Add salt and pepper. Add a handful of sugar if you’re feeling naughty.

    Put the heat on low. Put a lid on the pot, but turn the heat down to low.

    Make it so the cover isn’t on tightly, but has a one-inch gap.
  • You can simmer it for 25 minutes to one hour.

    Use that time to add a vampire to your novel.
  • Take the pot off the stovetop. Let it cool for 10-15 minutes.

    Use that time to add a love triangle to your novel. And maybe a zombie?

  • Being super careful, transfer the cooled mixture into a blender. Blend.


Notes

Sexy Candied Hot Peppers of Romance Novels

Yes. It’s back. For real.

Cooking With a Writer is where I let my inner weird all the way out and try to get the people in the house to eat less meat.

I hope you’ll like it! All the recipes are real, just a bit tweaked.

Sexy Candied Hot Peppers of Romance Novels

Recipe by Carrie
Servings

4

servings
Prep time

30

minutes
Cooking time

40

minutes
Calories

300

kcal

Stuff That Goes In It

  • 3 pounds fresh firm, washed hot peppers, sliced into 1/8-1/4 inch slices

  • 2 cups cider vinegar

  • 3 cups of sugar, the granulated kind

  • 1 teaspoon celery seed

  • 3 teaspoons granulated garlic

  • 1 tsp ground cayenne pepper because it makes things hotter

  • .5 tsp turmeric because it’s sexy

How to Make It

  • If you are a smart and sexy person, put on some gloves.
    If you are me, forget to do this. Just do NOT TOUCH YOUR EYES for 24 hours even when wiping tears of romantic joy when our lovers get together finally.
  • Wearing gloves, remove those pepper stems. They are icky and don’t add to the plot of the romance. Do not think of it as castration. That does not belong in a romance novel. This is romance! Not dystopian horror!
  • Cut those peppers into ¼-⅛ inch rounds.
  • Find a big old pot.
    Get ready for your set-up of the story.
    In that pot, combine the cider vinegar, white sugar, turmeric, celery seed, granulated garlic and cayenne pepper.

    Get it boiling. Whoa. That is hot already, right? Whew. Look around the room to make sure nobody’s watching and then reduce the heat so that globby mixture all combines and simmers for 5 minutes.
  • Ready? It is the meet cute!
    Add the pepper slice heroes into that pot of goo. Oh, look at them blend together. Simmer them there, hot and steamy for 4 minutes. Oh my gosh, they are so perfect together.
  • BUT NO! No romance goes that easily.
    Take the slotted spoon of OBSTACLE AND CONFLICT.
    Use it and move those peppers away from the adorable goo.
    Put the peppers in a nice mason jar to make them look good for their Instagram shot or just a glass bowl with a lid if you aren’t into that.
  • Boil everything hard. So hard. Do that for six minutes.
  • Okay. That’s been long enough for all of us to suffer. Imagine that the peppers and goo are rushing through a crowded city to get back together. Maybe one of them is getting on the plane? It’s all been a terrible misunderstanding and all the fault of that horrible spoon. I hope that spoon has been put in the sink and/or dishwasher where it belongs and nowhere near our lovebirds.
  • Find a nice supportive ladle character and use it to get the boiling syrup into a jar where the peppers are waiting so patiently to be reunited. Look at that. Oh my gosh. It’s such a happy ending. They are whole-hearted now. It’s beautiful. Store them in the fridge because honestly, they need to cool down, those steamy buggers.

Notes

Thursday Dog Inspiration and Cooking With An Author

Every time you have a choice, choose love.
Every time you have a choice, choose the outside.
Every time you have a choice, choose treats.
Every time you have a choice, ditch the leash.
xo

Gabby the Dog

Here’s this week’s Cooking With an Author recipe. The man in the house is still not a vegetarian. All appears lost. 🙂 Every time he has a choice, he chooses meat.

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Easy Cheese Pasta that Isn’t Mac and Cheese – Oh, Did He Just Say He was Salty?

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The quest to make the Man eat more vegetarian meals continues with this simple bad boy.

Why is this bad boy so simple yet delicious?

  1. The ingredients rock
  2. I am too busy obsessing over Twitter to cook something more complicated right now. #theend
  3. Pasta is comforting as heck.

Man Verdict: Isn’t pasta supposed to be orange when it has cheese in it?

Dogs Verdict: All pasta is amazing.

My Verdict: Why does Twitter exist? Why do people subtweet? Give me more pasta. Gobble. Gobble. Drown my feelings in carbs. Watch me. Yep, I am drowning my feelings in carbs.


WRITING AND OTHER NEWS

IN THE WOODS – READ AN EXCERPT, PREORDER NOW!

My next book, IN THE WOODS, appears in July with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed!

You can preorder this bad boy, which might make it have a sequel. The sequel would be amazing. Believe me, I know. It features caves and monsters and love. Because doesn’t every story?

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HEAR MY BOOK BABY (AND MORE) ON PATREON

On February first, I’m going to launch my Patreon site where I’ll be reading chapters (in order) of a never-published teen fantasy novel, releasing deleted scenes and art from some of my more popular books. And so much more.

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WHAT IS PATREON? 

A lot of you might be new to Patreon and not get how it works. That’s totally cool. New things can be scary, but there’s a cool primer HERE that explains how it works. The short of it is this: You give Patreon your paypal or credit card # and they charge you whatever you level you choose at the end of each month. That money supports me sharing my writing and art and podcasts and weirdness with you. 

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HELP US AND DO AN AWESOME GOOD DEED

Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness on the DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE podcast as we talk about random thoughts, writing advice and life tips. We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of. Please share it and subscribe if you can. Please rate and like us if you are feeling kind, because it matters somehow. There’s a new episode every Tuesday!


BE A PART OF THE PODCAST!

Hey! If you download the Anchor application, you can call into the podcast, record a question, or just say ‘hi,’ and we’ll answer. You can be heard on our podcast! Sa-sweet!

No question is too wild. But just like Shaun does, try not to swear, okay?

Here is the link to the mobile app and our bonus podcast below.

ART.

I do art stuff. You can find it and buy a print here. 

Bar Harbor Painting Schooner
Bar Harbor Painting Schooner

TIME STOPPERS!

You can order my middle grade fantasy novel Time Stoppers Escape From the Badlands here or anywhere.

People call it a cross between Harry Potter and Percy Jackson but it’s set in Maine. It’s full of adventure, quirkiness and heart.

Time Stoppers Carrie Jones Middle grade fantasy

MOE BERG 

The Spy Who Played Baseball is a picture book biography about Moe Berg. And… there’s a movie out now about Moe Berg, a major league baseball player who became a spy. How cool is that?

It’s awesome and quirky and fun.

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FLYING AND ENHANCED

Men in Black meet Buffy the Vampire Slayer? You know it. You can buy them here or anywhere. It’s fun, accessible science fiction. Who knew there was such a thing?

31702754 copy

Party in Your Mouth, Broccoli Meet Cheddar Soup

[ultimate-recipe id=”2507″ template=”default”]

My mom was a firm believer that if you were going to eat vegetables that were green then you needed to cover them with a Velveeta sauce. She was also a firm believer that the only vegetables that shouldn’t ALWAYS come from a can were:

cucumber

lettuce

corn

She was not a big veggie person, my mom. But she did love broccoli cheddar soup because it’s cheese sauce on a vegetable masquerading as soup.

It was a big hit here. I riffed off a recipe by gildawen on the all recipes site. I found it to get thick pretty quickly, much like my waistline.

Man Verdict: THAT IS NOT A SERVING SIZE.

My Verdict: My one serving was delicious.

Dogs’ Verdict: The man ate THREE SERVINGS and we got none. That is so unfair, you should give us dog treats immediately to make up for this great injustice.


HELP US AND DO AN AWESOME GOOD DEED

Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness on the DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE podcast as we talk about random thoughts, writing advice and life tips. We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of. Please share it and subscribe if you can. Please rate and like us if you are feeling kind, because it matters somehow. There’s a new episode every Tuesday!


BE A PART OF THE PODCAST!

Hey! If you download the Anchor application, you can call into the podcast, record a question, or just say ‘hi,’ and we’ll answer. You can be heard on our podcast! Sa-sweet!

No question is too wild. But just like Shaun does, try not to swear, okay?

Here is the link to the mobile app and our bonus podcast below.

WRITING AND OTHER NEWS

ART.

I do art stuff. You can find it and buy a print here. 

Bar Harbor Painting Schooner
Bar Harbor Painting Schooner

TIME STOPPERS!

You can order my middle grade fantasy novel Time Stoppers Escape From the Badlands here or anywhere.

People call it a cross between Harry Potter and Percy Jackson but it’s set in Maine. It’s full of adventure, quirkiness and heart.

Time Stoppers Carrie Jones Middle grade fantasy

MOE BERG 

The Spy Who Played Baseball is a picture book biography about Moe Berg. And… there’s a movie out now about Moe Berg, a major league baseball player who became a spy. How cool is that?

It’s awesome and quirky and fun.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is My-Post-copy-6.jpg

FLYING AND ENHANCED

Men in Black meet Buffy the Vampire Slayer? You know it. You can buy them here or anywhere.

31702754 copy

Veggie Nachos, Baby

Why, hello. Yes, it is me, Carrie, a carb-loving writer on a quest to make her household (gasp) vegetarians.

Because I felt guilty about the kale and the tomatoes that I’ve been throwing at the man lately (Only after he threw them at me first), I’ve adopted a recipe that I think will not incite any sort of unhappy incidents.

Why?

Because they are nachos and nachos, my friend, are awesome.

Veggie Nachos, Baby

I like nachos. Nachos have carbs. I don’t care. The end.

This recipe is taken and adapted (and also adopted) from the amazing blog, Cookie and Kate. The link to the true recipe is here: https://cookieandkate.com/2018/loaded-veggie-nachos-recipe/

  • 8 oz tortilla chips (rugged ones)
  • 1 can pinto bans
  • 4 oz cheddar (shredded like it was at a really good book launch)
  • 4 oz pepper jack (shredded and hot like it was at a really good book launch somewhere warm (Hint; Not Chicago. I always get sent to Chicago. I like Chicago. Chicago is not warm))
  • 1 whole pepper (green, red, orange – just dice it up )
  • 1/3 cup feta cheese (because I live in Maine and we have no cool Mexican cheese)
  • 1/3 cup onions (green or regular, diced)
  • 2 tbsp cilantro (You can blow this off if you hate poor Cilantro)
  • some or whatever guacamole or avocado (if you're into it)
  • some or whatever salsa (pre-made, homemade, it's up to youPreheat oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Place handfuls of chips on the baking sheet and distribute evenly, minimizing the gaps between chips. Set aside.)
  1. Find your oven. It should be in the kitchen. It was there last time you looked and I don’t think you’re living in a T.C. Boyle or Vonnegut novel so it should still be there. Okay. Found it? Put it on 400 degrees Fahrenheit. 

  2. Find a baking sheet. Line it with parchment paper. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY ABOUT EATING NACHOS! 

    If you are a writer who solely makes money from writing ignore the parchment paper and just spray the sheet. It’s cheaper. 

    Put the chips all across the sheet. Try not to have gaps because stuff will leak through. NO LEAKING ALLOWED! 

  3. Okay. You have a nice bottom layer. It is the supporting structure of your nachos just like you have to have a supporting structure of your new story: A LOVE STORY: ONE WRITER AND HER QUEST FOR CONSTANT CARBS. 

    On top of that layer you want to put the beans. Spread them out nicely. Do the same with the cheeses, pepper, feta and any spicy things. 

  4. Put that party in the oven. Love it. Admire it. Obsess over it. The carbs. The cheese. The beauty. Bake until the cheese melts.

    This should be somewhere around 10 minutes. 

  5. Take it out of the oven. 

    I know you want to gobble it all up but refrain, my carb-loving friends, refrain. 

  6. Why, refrain? Because it isn’t over yet, my friends. Wave bye to ketosis and dollop on the guacamole. Then sprinkle onions and cilantro on there.  

  7. And there. Eat it! Call it good. Forget about ketosis and whole-day-diet stuff of 30 things or whatever the heck they call it. Gobble up those nachos. It’s one life, baby. Let’s live it. 

 

Man Verdict: Thank God. You don’t hate me.

Doggy Verdict: Why must tortilla chips have salt? We can’t have these, can we? Why do you hate us, human?

My Verdict: Nachos have totally supplanted potatoes as my comfort food.

 

 

Flying

 

ENHANCED PAPERBACK RELEASE!

Carrie Jones, the New York Times bestselling author of Flying, presents another science fiction adventure of cheerleader-turned-alien-hunter Mana in Enhanced.

Seventeen-year-old Mana has found and rescued her mother, but her work isn’t done yet. Her mother may be out of alien hands, but she’s in a coma, unable to tell anyone what she knows.

Mana is ready to take action. The only problem? Nobody will let her. Lyle, her best friend and almost-boyfriend (for a minute there, anyway), seems to want nothing to do with hunting aliens, despite his love of Doctor Who. Bestie Seppie is so desperate to stay out of it, she’s actually leaving town. And her mom’s hot but arrogant alien-hunting partner, China, is ignoring Mana’s texts, cutting her out of the mission entirely.

They all know the alien threat won’t stay quiet for long. It’s up to Mana to fight her way back in.

“Witty dialogue and flawless action.”—VOYA

“YA readers, you’re in for a treat this week. Hilarious and action-packed, this novel is sure to be the perfect summer read.”—Bookish 

“Funny and playful, with a diverse cast of characters and a bit of romance and adventure, Flying is the perfect light summer read.”—BookPage

 

Our podcast DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLEis still chugging along. Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness. We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of.

The Final Time Stoppers Book

What is it? It’s the third TIME STOPPERS book!

Time Stopper Annie’s newfound home, the enchanted town Aurora, is in danger. The vicious Raiff will stop at nothing to steal the town’s magic, and Annie is the only one who can defeat him–even though it’s prophesied that she’ll “fall with evil.”

Alongside her loyal band of friends Eva, Bloom, SalGoud, and Jamie, who still isn’t quite sure whether he’s a troll or not, Annie journeys deep into the Raiff’s realm, the Badlands. The group will face everything from ruthless monsters to their own deepest fears. Can Annie find the courage to confront the Raiff and save everyone, even if it means making the ultimate sacrifice?

What People are Saying About The Books:

An imaginative blend of fantasy, whimsy, and suspense, with a charming cast of underdog characters . . . This new fantasy series will entice younger fans of Harry Potter and Percy Jackson.” –  School Library Journal

“The characters show welcome kindness and poignant insecurity, and the text sprinkles in humor . . . and an abundance of magical creatures.” – Kirkus Reviews 

“An imaginative blend of fantasy, whimsy, and suspense, with a charming cast of underdog characters . . . This new fantasy series will entice younger fans of Harry Potter and Percy Jackson.” – School Library Journal 

How to Get Signed Copies: 

If you would like to purchase signed copies of my books, you can do so through the awesome Sherman’s Book Store in Bar Harbor, Maine or the amazing Briar Patch. The books are also available online at places like Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

For signed copies – email barharbor@shermans.com for Sherman’s or email info@briarpatchbooks.comand let them know the titles in which you are interested. There’s sometimes a waiting list, but they are the best option. Plus, you’re supporting an adorable local bookstore run by some really wonderful humans. But here’s the Amazon link, too!

 

Cooking With a Writer – Vampire Tempeh Kabobs

When I First Started Writing, Vampires were really popular.

And it turns out that when I make kabobs?

I think about vampires.

Vampires are kind of the opposites of vegetarians (usually), but what the heck, right?

It’s vegetarian kabobs with a vampy twist.

 

 

Tempeh Kabobs My Friend

  • 1 8 oz tempeh
  • 16 whole mushrooms (white)
  • 16 whole cherry tomatoes
  • 1 whole red pepper

For marinade

  • 8 tbsp tamari (cut into 1.5-inch pieces)
  • 3 tbsp honey
  • 7 tbsp olive oil
  • 1 tbsp garlic (chopped)
  • 1 tbsp ginger root (granted)

For Couscous

  • 1 package couscous
  • 1 cup raisins or cran-raisins
  • 1 cup chickpeas
  • 1 whole lemon
  • 2 tsp cumin
  1. Find a plastic bag.

    Ponder the use of plastics in this world. Wonder if the vampire teeth you bought for Halloween will ever be used again

    Cry a little because the world is too full of plastic and fake vampire teeth and plastic bags. 

    Put the tempeh, mushrooms, and veggies in the bag. 

  2. Find a bowl. Be grateful it’s not plastic. Wonder if vampires collect blood in bowls. 

    Whisk  oil, tamari, and honey together Add 1 tbs ginger, 1 tbsp garlic, and salt and pepper.

  3. Pour stuff in the bowl into the bag. Seal bag. Shake bag. Refrigerate – 2 hours. Write a screenplay about vampires collecting plastic teeth in bowls. 

  4. Hit medium-high heat on grill. Make skewers. 

    This seems sort of like torture. Cherry tomatoes are squirting blood everywhere! 

    Yikes.

    OH MY GOSH! SKEWERS ARE LIKE STAKES! YOU KILL VAMPIRES WITH STAKES! 

    Maybe you should write a vampire novel instead of a screenplay because you could have fun describing this.  Yes. Yes, you could. . . 

  5. Make couscous according to directions., BUT BE A REBEL VAMPIRE and add 1 tablespoon ginger, cumin, and salt during the cooking.

    When it is all done cooking add in the raisins and garbanzo beans.  

  6. Grill skewers. Turn them a lot. 

    When they look done to your liking eat them with the couscous and left-over marinade. 

    Feel undead.

    Like it. 

 

Dog Verdict: No.

Man Verdict: THERE ARE TOMATOES ON HERE.

Me: You can pick tomatoes off.

Man: They have contaminated everything! Everything!

Me (eats man’s tomatoes): I like this.

Marsie the cat

If you all remember the whole point of this is to try to convince The Man to become a vegetarian. So… I probably shouldn’t have added the tomatoes. Marsie the Cat agrees this was a bad move.

 

Writing News

Our podcast DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE is still chugging along. Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness. We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of.

Dogs are smarter than people - the podcast, writing tips, life tips, quirky humans, awesome dogs

31702754 copy

ENHANCED PAPERBACK RELEASE!

This is the book that I forgot was coming out. I am so sorry, little book!

Carrie Jones, the New York Times bestselling author of Flying, presents another science fiction adventure of cheerleader-turned-alien-hunter Mana in Enhanced.

Seventeen-year-old Mana has found and rescued her mother, but her work isn’t done yet. Her mother may be out of alien hands, but she’s in a coma, unable to tell anyone what she knows.

Mana is ready to take action. The only problem? Nobody will let her. Lyle, her best friend and almost-boyfriend (for a minute there, anyway), seems to want nothing to do with hunting aliens, despite his love of Doctor Who. Bestie Seppie is so desperate to stay out of it, she’s actually leaving town. And her mom’s hot but arrogant alien-hunting partner, China, is ignoring Mana’s texts, cutting her out of the mission entirely.

They all know the alien threat won’t stay quiet for long. It’s up to Mana to fight her way back in.

“Witty dialogue and flawless action.”—VOYA

“YA readers, you’re in for a treat this week. Hilarious and action-packed, this novel is sure to be the perfect summer read.”—Bookish 

“Funny and playful, with a diverse cast of characters and a bit of romance and adventure, Flying is the perfect light summer read.”—BookPage

Order Your Copy:

amazon bn booksamillion  indiebound

Cough. That was pretty self-promotional, wasn’t it?

The Final Time Stoppers Book

What is it? It’s the third TIME STOPPERS book! It’s also one of the reasons that I forgot about ENHANCED’s release.

Time Stopper Annie’s newfound home, the enchanted town Aurora, is in danger. The vicious Raiff will stop at nothing to steal the town’s magic, and Annie is the only one who can defeat him–even though it’s prophesied that she’ll “fall with evil.”

Alongside her loyal band of friends Eva, Bloom, SalGoud, and Jamie, who still isn’t quite sure whether he’s a troll or not, Annie journeys deep into the Raiff’s realm, the Badlands. The group will face everything from ruthless monsters to their own deepest fears. Can Annie find the courage to confront the Raiff and save everyone, even if it means making the ultimate sacrifice?

What People are Saying About The Books:

An imaginative blend of fantasy, whimsy, and suspense, with a charming cast of underdog characters . . . This new fantasy series will entice younger fans of Harry Potter and Percy Jackson.” –  School Library Journal

“The characters show welcome kindness and poignant insecurity, and the text sprinkles in humor . . . and an abundance of magical creatures.” Kirkus Reviews on QUEST FOR THE GOLDEN ARROW

“An imaginative blend of fantasy, whimsy, and suspense, with a charming cast of underdog characters . . . This new fantasy series will entice younger fans of Harry Potter and Percy Jackson.” – School Library Journal on TIME STOPPERS

How to Get Signed Copies: 

If you would like to purchase signed copies of my books, you can do so through the awesome Sherman’s Book Store in Bar Harbor, Maine or the amazing Briar Patch. The books are also available online at places like Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

For signed copies – email barharbor@shermans.com for Sherman’s or email info@briarpatchbooks.comand let them know the titles in which you are interested. There’s sometimes a waiting list, but they are the best option. Plus, you’re supporting an adorable local bookstore run by some really wonderful humans. But here’s the Amazon link, too!

Cooking With a Writer – Tipsy Grilled Pineapples

So, yeah.

I’ve been hanging out in the camper for weeks and weeks now and I’ve got to admit… I’m getting a little punchy. I sort of miss floor.

So, be warned, this recipe? It’s a little punchy, too. Punchy enough to make the rest of the family vegetarians?

No.

But, pretty punchy.

Tipsy Grilled Pineapple

This recipe is adapted from cookingcanuck.com, which is an awesome place to go hang out. 

  • .25 cup butter (unsalted is better for you)
  • .66 cup brown sugar
  • 2 tbsp flour (regular kind)
  • 1 cup half and half stuff (my mom used to love this)
  • 3 tbsp dark rum (my mom refused to touch this)
  • 1 tbsp lemon juice
  • .25 tsp vanilla extract (try not to sniff it too much)
  • a bit canola oil or vegetable oil (to brush the grill)
  • 1 big pineapple (cut into 8 rings that are about ¾ inch thick)
  1. Okay. You are cooking with rum. Try to control yourself. 

    Put your heat source on medium. Then melt the butter in a big skillet or regular saucepan.

    Envy the butter. It changes shapes so easily while you have to work so hard to change shape. Realize part of the reason why you have to work so hard is because…. butter. 

    *PREHEAT THE GRILL TO MEDIUM*

  2. Resent the butter.

    Whisk in flour and brown sugar. To be fair, they don’t help you change shape (for the better) either. Take it out on them by  whisking constantly.

    Do this for two minutes.

    Feel spent.

  3. Regret your feelings. Butter, sugar, and flour can’t help it if you can’t resist them, can they? 

    No. 

    No.

    This is on you.

  4. Add the half-and-half. 

    Keep whisking.

    But whisk with love.

    Love them all for five minutes. The sauce will thicken.

  5. Take it off the heat. Murmur loving things. 

    Add the rum, fresh lemon juice and vanilla extract. 

    Try not to sniff the vanilla extract too long because I swear that stuff is like ModPodge or glue and it can make you a bit… Well, it does what rum does. 

    Put the sauce on low. Really low. Keep whisking until you use it. 

    HOW DO YOU DO THIS WHILE GRILLING THE PINEAPPLES? CALL YOUR FRIEND AND COOKING PARTNER OR RUN BACK AND FORTH SUPER FAST.

  6. You ready? It’s time to get these pineapples primed so they can get tipsy.

    Brush grill with canola oil. It’s like a happy tanning bed back in the 1970s. Didn’t people brush their skin with butter back then? 

    Flop the pineapple rings on the grill.

    Those pineapples are ready to party. Turn them over at 2.5 minutes in. They don’t want to be unevenly tanned. Cook them a total of 5 minutes. 

    Those babies are beautiful and ready to be tipsy! 

  7. Put ice cream on top.

    Pour sauce all over them. 

    Wow. 

Gabby the Dog: ALCOHOL IS EVIL AND YOU ARE TRYING TO KILL ME.

Sparty the Dog: I like this.

The Man: This isn’t actually a meal.

Me: Hiccup.

Writing News

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ENHANCED PAPERBACK RELEASE!

This is the book that I forgot was coming out. I am so sorry, little book!

Carrie Jones, the New York Times bestselling author of Flying, presents another science fiction adventure of cheerleader-turned-alien-hunter Mana in Enhanced.

Seventeen-year-old Mana has found and rescued her mother, but her work isn’t done yet. Her mother may be out of alien hands, but she’s in a coma, unable to tell anyone what she knows.

Mana is ready to take action. The only problem? Nobody will let her. Lyle, her best friend and almost-boyfriend (for a minute there, anyway), seems to want nothing to do with hunting aliens, despite his love of Doctor Who. Bestie Seppie is so desperate to stay out of it, she’s actually leaving town. And her mom’s hot but arrogant alien-hunting partner, China, is ignoring Mana’s texts, cutting her out of the mission entirely.

They all know the alien threat won’t stay quiet for long. It’s up to Mana to fight her way back in.

“Witty dialogue and flawless action.”—VOYA
“YA readers, you’re in for a treat this week. Hilarious and action-packed, this novel is sure to be the perfect summer read.”—Bookish 

“Funny and playful, with a diverse cast of characters and a bit of romance and adventure, Flying is the perfect light summer read.”—BookPage

Order Your Copy:

amazon bn booksamillion  indiebound

Cough. That was pretty self-promotional, wasn’t it?

The Final Time Stoppers Book

What is it? It’s the third TIME STOPPERS book! It’s also one of the reasons that I forgot about ENHANCED’s release.

Time Stopper Annie’s newfound home, the enchanted town Aurora, is in danger. The vicious Raiff will stop at nothing to steal the town’s magic, and Annie is the only one who can defeat him–even though it’s prophesied that she’ll “fall with evil.”

Alongside her loyal band of friends Eva, Bloom, SalGoud, and Jamie, who still isn’t quite sure whether he’s a troll or not, Annie journeys deep into the Raiff’s realm, the Badlands. The group will face everything from ruthless monsters to their own deepest fears. Can Annie find the courage to confront the Raiff and save everyone, even if it means making the ultimate sacrifice?
What People are Saying About The Books:
An imaginative blend of fantasy, whimsy, and suspense, with a charming cast of underdog characters . . . This new fantasy series will entice younger fans of Harry Potter and Percy Jackson.” –  School Library Journal
“The characters show welcome kindness and poignant insecurity, and the text sprinkles in humor . . . and an abundance of magical creatures.” Kirkus Reviews on QUEST FOR THE GOLDEN ARROW

“An imaginative blend of fantasy, whimsy, and suspense, with a charming cast of underdog characters . . . This new fantasy series will entice younger fans of Harry Potter and Percy Jackson.” – School Library Journal on TIME STOPPERS
How to Get Signed Copies: 

If you would like to purchase signed copies of my books, you can do so through the awesome Sherman’s Book Store in Bar Harbor, Maine or the amazing Briar Patch. The books are also available online at places like Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

For signed copies – email barharbor@shermans.com for Sherman’s or email info@briarpatchbooks.comand let them know the titles in which you are interested. There’s sometimes a waiting list, but they are the best option. Plus, you’re supporting an adorable local bookstore run by some really wonderful humans. But here’s the Amazon link, too!

Cooking With a Writer – Avocados Getting All Smoky in the Fajitas

So, still trying to be a vegetarian family out in the camping world… and still sort of failing.

But this week, I made something I TOTALLY loved even if avocados basically cost 8 million dollars in New England and they use up a lot of resources shipping them here.

Sigh.

Now, I can’t eat avocados. BUT YOU CAN!

Here’s the recipe.

Cooking With a Writer Avocados Get Smoky and Fajita Like

Sometimes you just have to avocado it. 

  • .25 cup water
  • 1 tbsp olive oil
  • .75 package (1 oz) fajita seasoning (I use more but I need a lot of seasoning. More can make it sort of salty)
  • 1.5 whole avocado (sliced use the rest to taunt your husband with)
  • 1.5 green pepper (sliced)
  • .5 whole onion (cut into rings; separate the rings)
  • 4 whole tortilla (the six-inchers)
  1. YOU MUST PLAN AHEAD HERE! I am so sorry.

    First, whisk water, oil and seasoning together in a bowl. Then pour it into a big enough bag.

    Add vegetables and make all that marinade stick to them. 

    Marvel at your work.

    Push all the air out of the bag and seal it. This is to keep the avocados from getting that gross color that avocados get. 

    Write a picture book draft about avocados not wanting to get oxidized. Realize this is a bad idea. Browning avocados is just like white people trying to get tan. Maybe those avocados do want to be oxidized, darn it. 

    Confuse yourself thinking about the societal implications of this picture book. 

    Decide to drink wine instead. 

  2. Turn the grill on medium. Oil the grate. 

    Drain all the liquid off the veggies. This seems like a waste of water. Think about writing a picture book about wasting water. 

    Think about the societal implications of wasting water! 

    Dude. This is not good. 

    Go ahead and separate the onions and peppers from the avocados. Sure they were all friends in the tight airless bag, but now… now… they don’t associate with each other anymore, do they? 

    Realize this totally could be a picture book, somehow, but there are so many plot threads. 

    Feel badly for separating the vegetables but then shout, “YOU ARE ALL GOING TO BURN SOON ANYWAY!” 

    There. All is good. 

  3. Burn the onions and peppers first. DON’T REALLY BURN THEM. I’m being silly.

    Using tongs, put then in one layer. Cook until tender. This might be five minutes. It might be 11 minutes. Turn them a couple of times while grilling. 

    Once you’re done, put them in a pan, cover them up and keep them cozy and warm. 

  4. Now, it’s time for the poor lonely avocados. Do the same thing. Turn them. This will take about 5 minutes. 

  5. Take some tortillas. Put all the veggies in there. They are together again! Celebrate by eating them. 

Dog Verdict: No.

Man Verdict: Are these avocados? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME OR TURN ME HIPSTER?

Carrie Verdict: I am enjoying this fajita immensely.

Writing News

Next and Last Time Stoppers Book

It’s out! You can order my middle grade fantasy novel Time Stoppers Escape From the Badlands here or anywhere.

Please buy it so I can keep buying food for the dogs… and stuff…

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People call it a cross between Harry Potter and Percy Jackson but it’s set in Maine. It’s full of adventure, quirkiness and heart.

Moe Berg

The Spy Who Played Baseballis a picture book biography about Moe Berg. And… there’s a movie out now about Moe Berg, a major league baseball player who became a spy. How cool is that?

You should totally buy my book about Moe. It’s awesome and quirky and fun.

My Post copy 6

OUR PODCAST DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE.

Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness as we talk about random thoughts, writing advice and life tips. We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of. Please share it and subscribe if you can. Please rate and like us if you are feeling kind, because it matters somehow.

dogs are smarter than people carrie after dark being relentless to get published

Writing Coach

I offer solo writing coach services. For more about my individual coaching, click here.

Appearances

I’ll be at the Maine Literacy Volunteers Festival on September 8. It is in Augusta, Maine.