Tag: fruit salad

Naughty Fruit Salad To Inspire You

Naughty Fruit Salad
Pin
Print

Naughty Fruit Salad

Recipe by CarrieCourse: FruitCuisine: AmericanDifficulty: easy
Servings

4

servings
Prep time

20

minutes
Chilling time

1

hour 

The fruit salad that might inspire you to finally write an erotic scene in your novel. But also somehow reminds you of your grandparents. Shudder. It’s good though!

Stuff That Goes In It

  • 21 oz can peach pie filling

  • 20 oz can pineapple chunks drained

  • 15 oz can mandarin oranges drained

  • 16 oz frozen or fresh strawberries halved or quartered

  • 3 kiwi sliced

  • 2 bananas sliced

  • Tiny bit of vanilla

  • Maybe an apple

  • Seedless grapes if you’re into it

  • Maybe ⅛ teaspoon of lemon juice if you’re using apples and not eating it right away (it helps keep the apples from oxidizing).

How to Make It

  • Realize that if you want to make any money in writing, you’re probably going to have to learn to write sexy scenes.

    Realize that you’re pretty bad at writing sexy scenes.

    The only way to deal with this is to make a naughty fruit salad.

    Gather up the ingredients! Let’s go.
  • Chop the fruit up until it’s bitable pieces. People bite and nibble and stuff in sex scenes, don’t they?
  • Mix up all the fruit and vanilla and peach pie filling and lemon juice. If the peaches look too chonky, cut them up so they are easy to nibble on. Try to wield the knife seductively. Realize the only thing you can wield seductively is . . . is . . . is . . . insert your own favorite swear word here . . . nothing
  • Chill it like a cold shower for at least an hour. You can write the cold shower scene! That’s not naughty — or is it?

Notes

%d