Veggie Nachos, Baby

Why, hello. Yes, it is me, Carrie, a carb-loving writer on a quest to make her household (gasp) vegetarians.

Because I felt guilty about the kale and the tomatoes that I’ve been throwing at the man lately (Only after he threw them at me first), I’ve adopted a recipe that I think will not incite any sort of unhappy incidents.

Why?

Because they are nachos and nachos, my friend, are awesome.

Veggie Nachos, Baby

I like nachos. Nachos have carbs. I don't care. The end.

This recipe is taken and adapted (and also adopted) from the amazing blog, Cookie and Kate. The link to the true recipe is here: https://cookieandkate.com/2018/loaded-veggie-nachos-recipe/

Course dinner, Main Course
Cuisine American, tex-mex
Keyword nacho
Prep Time 15 minutes
Cook Time 10 minutes
Total Time 25 minutes
Servings 6 normal humans who aren't obsessed with nachos
Calories 530 kcal

Ingredients

  • 8 oz tortilla chips rugged ones
  • 1 can pinto bans
  • 4 oz cheddar shredded like it was at a really good book launch
  • 4 oz pepper jack shredded and hot like it was at a really good book launch somewhere warm (Hint; Not Chicago. I always get sent to Chicago. I like Chicago. Chicago is not warm)
  • 1 whole pepper green, red, orange - just dice it up
  • 1/3 cup feta cheese because I live in Maine and we have no cool Mexican cheese
  • 1/3 cup onions green or regular, diced
  • 2 tbsp cilantro You can blow this off if you hate poor Cilantro
  • some or whatever guacamole or avocado if you're into it
  • some or whatever salsa pre-made, homemade, it's up to youPreheat oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Place handfuls of chips on the baking sheet and distribute evenly, minimizing the gaps between chips. Set aside.

Instructions

  1. Find your oven. It should be in the kitchen. It was there last time you looked and I don't think you're living in a T.C. Boyle or Vonnegut novel so it should still be there. Okay. Found it? Put it on 400 degrees Fahrenheit. 

  2. Find a baking sheet. Line it with parchment paper. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY ABOUT EATING NACHOS! 

    If you are a writer who solely makes money from writing ignore the parchment paper and just spray the sheet. It's cheaper. 

    Put the chips all across the sheet. Try not to have gaps because stuff will leak through. NO LEAKING ALLOWED! 

  3. Okay. You have a nice bottom layer. It is the supporting structure of your nachos just like you have to have a supporting structure of your new story: A LOVE STORY: ONE WRITER AND HER QUEST FOR CONSTANT CARBS. 

    On top of that layer you want to put the beans. Spread them out nicely. Do the same with the cheeses, pepper, feta and any spicy things. 

  4. Put that party in the oven. Love it. Admire it. Obsess over it. The carbs. The cheese. The beauty. Bake until the cheese melts.

    This should be somewhere around 10 minutes. 

  5. Take it out of the oven. 

    I know you want to gobble it all up but refrain, my carb-loving friends, refrain. 


  6. Why, refrain? Because it isn't over yet, my friends. Wave bye to ketosis and dollop on the guacamole. Then sprinkle onions and cilantro on there.  

  7. And there. Eat it! Call it good. Forget about ketosis and whole-day-diet stuff of 30 things or whatever the heck they call it. Gobble up those nachos. It's one life, baby. Let's live it. 

 

Man Verdict: Thank God. You don’t hate me.

Doggy Verdict: Why must tortilla chips have salt? We can’t have these, can we? Why do you hate us, human?

My Verdict: Nachos have totally supplanted potatoes as my comfort food.

 

 

Flying

 

ENHANCED PAPERBACK RELEASE!

Carrie Jones, the New York Times bestselling author of Flying, presents another science fiction adventure of cheerleader-turned-alien-hunter Mana in Enhanced.

Seventeen-year-old Mana has found and rescued her mother, but her work isn’t done yet. Her mother may be out of alien hands, but she’s in a coma, unable to tell anyone what she knows.

Mana is ready to take action. The only problem? Nobody will let her. Lyle, her best friend and almost-boyfriend (for a minute there, anyway), seems to want nothing to do with hunting aliens, despite his love of Doctor Who. Bestie Seppie is so desperate to stay out of it, she’s actually leaving town. And her mom’s hot but arrogant alien-hunting partner, China, is ignoring Mana’s texts, cutting her out of the mission entirely.

They all know the alien threat won’t stay quiet for long. It’s up to Mana to fight her way back in.

“Witty dialogue and flawless action.”—VOYA

“YA readers, you’re in for a treat this week. Hilarious and action-packed, this novel is sure to be the perfect summer read.”—Bookish 

“Funny and playful, with a diverse cast of characters and a bit of romance and adventure, Flying is the perfect light summer read.”—BookPage

 

Our podcast DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLEis still chugging along. Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness. We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of.

The Final Time Stoppers Book

What is it? It’s the third TIME STOPPERS book!

Time Stopper Annie’s newfound home, the enchanted town Aurora, is in danger. The vicious Raiff will stop at nothing to steal the town’s magic, and Annie is the only one who can defeat him–even though it’s prophesied that she’ll “fall with evil.”

Alongside her loyal band of friends Eva, Bloom, SalGoud, and Jamie, who still isn’t quite sure whether he’s a troll or not, Annie journeys deep into the Raiff’s realm, the Badlands. The group will face everything from ruthless monsters to their own deepest fears. Can Annie find the courage to confront the Raiff and save everyone, even if it means making the ultimate sacrifice?

What People are Saying About The Books:

An imaginative blend of fantasy, whimsy, and suspense, with a charming cast of underdog characters . . . This new fantasy series will entice younger fans of Harry Potter and Percy Jackson.” –  School Library Journal

“The characters show welcome kindness and poignant insecurity, and the text sprinkles in humor . . . and an abundance of magical creatures.” – Kirkus Reviews 

“An imaginative blend of fantasy, whimsy, and suspense, with a charming cast of underdog characters . . . This new fantasy series will entice younger fans of Harry Potter and Percy Jackson.” – School Library Journal 

How to Get Signed Copies: 

If you would like to purchase signed copies of my books, you can do so through the awesome Sherman’s Book Store in Bar Harbor, Maine or the amazing Briar Patch. The books are also available online at places like Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

For signed copies – email barharbor@shermans.com for Sherman’s or email info@briarpatchbooks.comand let them know the titles in which you are interested. There’s sometimes a waiting list, but they are the best option. Plus, you’re supporting an adorable local bookstore run by some really wonderful humans. But here’s the Amazon link, too!

 

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Swipe Right: Writing is All About Relationships – DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE PODCAST

Writing is all about relationships, right? The reader relates to the characters that the writer creates. The characters relate to each other.

Relationships are tricky things. They are expansive and minute all at once. They can completely surround you, dwarf you, push against you until all you think about is them. Relationships untended to can also be forgotten – just become nothing things.  I have had relationships become nothing things. And I think when there are huge life transistions are happening, it’s a lot easier for a relationship to become exactly that – nothing, a place of indifference instead of a place of promise and growth.

Sometimes we ignore the things we take for granted.

Sometimes we don’t.

And it’s never healthy to ignore relationships in books or in real life.

 

WRITING TIP OF THE CAST –

Think of your characters like profiles on Tinder, the dating app. What would make your reader swipe right, and commit to knowing more about the character and the book? What would make you do that? Incorporate that. If you wouldn’t swipe right to learn more about your character, someone else isn’t going to either. First impressions matter.

 

DOG TIP FOR LIFE –

Speaking of first impressions mattering, dogs are a perfect example of this. Dogs are all about that first scent, the first size up. Readers are like that. People are like that too. Too often we ignore our first instincts about people and … Well, we shouldn’t.

SHOUT OUT

The music we’ve clipped and shortened in this podcast is awesome and is made available through the Creative Commons License. Here’s a link to that and the artist’s website.Who is this artist and what is this song?  It’s “Night Owl” by Broke For Free.

SECOND SHOUT OUT

It’s the Man’s birthday today and it’s a big one! Happy Birthday, Shaun! We hope you are living happy and large, man.

ENHANCED PAPERBACK RELEASE!

Carrie Jones, the New York Times bestselling author of Flying, presents another science fiction adventure of cheerleader-turned-alien-hunter Mana in Enhanced.

Seventeen-year-old Mana has found and rescued her mother, but her work isn’t done yet. Her mother may be out of alien hands, but she’s in a coma, unable to tell anyone what she knows.

Mana is ready to take action. The only problem? Nobody will let her. Lyle, her best friend and almost-boyfriend (for a minute there, anyway), seems to want nothing to do with hunting aliens, despite his love of Doctor Who. Bestie Seppie is so desperate to stay out of it, she’s actually leaving town. And her mom’s hot but arrogant alien-hunting partner, China, is ignoring Mana’s texts, cutting her out of the mission entirely.

They all know the alien threat won’t stay quiet for long. It’s up to Mana to fight her way back in.

“Witty dialogue and flawless action.”—VOYA

“YA readers, you’re in for a treat this week. Hilarious and action-packed, this novel is sure to be the perfect summer read.”—Bookish 

“Funny and playful, with a diverse cast of characters and a bit of romance and adventure, Flying is the perfect light summer read.”—BookPage

Order Your Copy:

mazon n ooksamillion http://torteenblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/ibooks.png ndiebound

Our podcast DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE is still chugging along. Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness. We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of.

The Final Time Stoppers Book

What is it? It’s the third TIME STOPPERS book!

Time Stopper Annie’s newfound home, the enchanted town Aurora, is in danger. The vicious Raiff will stop at nothing to steal the town’s magic, and Annie is the only one who can defeat him–even though it’s prophesied that she’ll “fall with evil.”

Alongside her loyal band of friends Eva, Bloom, SalGoud, and Jamie, who still isn’t quite sure whether he’s a troll or not, Annie journeys deep into the Raiff’s realm, the Badlands. The group will face everything from ruthless monsters to their own deepest fears. Can Annie find the courage to confront the Raiff and save everyone, even if it means making the ultimate sacrifice?

What People are Saying About The Books:

An imaginative blend of fantasy, whimsy, and suspense, with a charming cast of underdog characters . . . This new fantasy series will entice younger fans of Harry Potter and Percy Jackson.” –  School Library Journal

“The characters show welcome kindness and poignant insecurity, and the text sprinkles in humor . . . and an abundance of magical creatures.” – Kirkus Reviews 

“An imaginative blend of fantasy, whimsy, and suspense, with a charming cast of underdog characters . . . This new fantasy series will entice younger fans of Harry Potter and Percy Jackson.” – School Library Journal 

How to Get Signed Copies: 

If you would like to purchase signed copies of my books, you can do so through the awesome Sherman’s Book Store in Bar Harbor, Maine or the amazing Briar Patch. The books are also available online at places like Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

For signed copies – email barharbor@shermans.com for Sherman’s or email info@briarpatchbooks.comand let them know the titles in which you are interested. There’s sometimes a waiting list, but they are the best option. Plus, you’re supporting an adorable local bookstore run by some really wonderful humans. But here’s the Amazon link, too!

Swipe Right: Writing is All About Relationships – DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE PODCAST

 
 
00:00 / 00:24:56
 
1X
 

Push It – Kale Pesto Recipe – Cooking With a Writer

As we all know by now, on Thursdays I try to post a vegetarian recipe that I’m trying in an attempt to seduce the man away from his flesh-eating ways.

 

Wow. I just made him sound like a super bacteria resistant to penicillin. He is not! I promise.

 

Hold on, I keep imaging that’s what he is and I’m laughing too hard to type.

 

This week I attempted a kale and hemp seed pesto because:

 

  1. He sort of likes pesto.
  2. Basil is expensive and I TOTALLY love pesto. It’s still my favorite.
  3. Hemp seeds are cheaper than pine nuts and walnuts, usually. And I am cheap.
  4. He hates kale.

 

 

I know! My logic is twisted. He does like kale chips though, so I figured this was sort of safe.

 

Push It – Kale Pesto Schoop Whatta Man

Course dinner
Cuisine Italian
Keyword kale, pesto
Prep Time 5 minutes
Cook Time 8 minutes
Total Time 13 minutes
Servings 4 people
Calories 440 kcal

Ingredients

  • .75 cup hemp seeds or walnuts or pecans
  • 3 cloves garlic
  • 3 cups kale packed
  • 2 tbsps lemon juice
  • 1 tsp sea salt
  • .25 tsp ground pepper
  • red pepper flakes
  • .25 cup extra virgin olive oil
  • one third cup parmesan cheese grated

Instructions

  1. • I don’t have a food processor. Okay. Actually, I have one, but I am the least mechanical human ever so I don’t know how to make it work. This is also true for my sewing machine. You can use a food processor or blender for the next step. Guess which I use.  

  2. • Mince the garlic cloves (peeled). 

  3. • Add everything else except the poor oil.

  4. • Give the oil a pep talk. It’s not because you’re oily, tell it. It’s because you’re so important that you deserve extra attention. You’re special that way. 

  5. • Put the oil on top and watch. Coo to the oil that it’s special. Blend until you like the way it looks. Remind the oil that it’s because of her that you can make this pesto any consistency you want. Remind her how beautiful she is. 

  6. • Taste it. Add more lemon if you want. Add more salt and pepper. Start singing old Salt-N-Pepa songs from the 1990s. Think about Vlogging this. Decide that would be detrimental. 

  7. • If you want to put your pesto on pasta (LOOK AT THE ALLITERATION!) make your pasta according to directions on the box/bag. Cook it. Think about how Salt-N-Pepa was a trio and not a trio, think about how happy Olive Oil would be if the hip-hop trio had been named Salt-N-Pepa-N-Olive Oil. Realize you are a dork. 

  8. • Wait a minute after pasta is done before mixing in the pesto. Remember to drain the pasta first. 

Man Verdict: This is not kale.

Dogs’ Verdict: It’s green, like interesting smelling poop can we try.

My Verdict: YAY!

Cooking With a Writer – Vampire Tempeh Kabobs

When I First Started Writing, Vampires were really popular.

And it turns out that when I make kabobs?

I think about vampires.

Vampires are kind of the opposites of vegetarians (usually), but what the heck, right?

It’s vegetarian kabobs with a vampy twist.

 

 

Tempeh Kabobs My Friend

Course entree
Cuisine American, vegetarian
Keyword tempeh
Prep Time 30 minutes
Cook Time 15 minutes
RESTING TIME HAPPENS 1 hour 30 minutes
Total Time 45 minutes
Servings 4 people
Calories 800 kcal

Ingredients

  • 1 8 oz tempeh
  • 16 whole mushrooms white
  • 16 whole cherry tomatoes
  • 1 whole red pepper

For marinade

  • 8 tbsp tamari cut into 1.5-inch pieces
  • 3 tbsp honey
  • 7 tbsp olive oil
  • 1 tbsp garlic chopped
  • 1 tbsp ginger root granted

For Couscous

  • 1 package couscous
  • 1 cup raisins or cran-raisins
  • 1 cup chickpeas
  • 1 whole lemon
  • 2 tsp cumin

Instructions

  1. Find a plastic bag.

    Ponder the use of plastics in this world. Wonder if the vampire teeth you bought for Halloween will ever be used again

    Cry a little because the world is too full of plastic and fake vampire teeth and plastic bags. 

    Put the tempeh, mushrooms, and veggies in the bag. 

  2. Find a bowl. Be grateful it's not plastic. Wonder if vampires collect blood in bowls. 

    Whisk  oil, tamari, and honey together Add 1 tbs ginger, 1 tbsp garlic, and salt and pepper.

  3. Pour stuff in the bowl into the bag. Seal bag. Shake bag. Refrigerate - 2 hours. Write a screenplay about vampires collecting plastic teeth in bowls. 

  4. Hit medium-high heat on grill. Make skewers. 

    This seems sort of like torture. Cherry tomatoes are squirting blood everywhere! 

    Yikes.

    OH MY GOSH! SKEWERS ARE LIKE STAKES! YOU KILL VAMPIRES WITH STAKES! 

    Maybe you should write a vampire novel instead of a screenplay because you could have fun describing this.  Yes. Yes, you could. . . 

  5. Make couscous according to directions., BUT BE A REBEL VAMPIRE and add 1 tablespoon ginger, cumin, and salt during the cooking.

    When it is all done cooking add in the raisins and garbanzo beans.  

  6. Grill skewers. Turn them a lot. 

    When they look done to your liking eat them with the couscous and left-over marinade. 

    Feel undead.

    Like it. 

 

Dog Verdict: No.

Man Verdict: THERE ARE TOMATOES ON HERE.

Me: You can pick tomatoes off.

Man: They have contaminated everything! Everything!

Me (eats man’s tomatoes): I like this.

Marsie the cat

If you all remember the whole point of this is to try to convince The Man to become a vegetarian. So… I probably shouldn’t have added the tomatoes. Marsie the Cat agrees this was a bad move.

 

Writing News

Our podcast DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE is still chugging along. Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness. We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of.

Dogs are smarter than people - the podcast, writing tips, life tips, quirky humans, awesome dogs

31702754 copy

ENHANCED PAPERBACK RELEASE!

This is the book that I forgot was coming out. I am so sorry, little book!

Carrie Jones, the New York Times bestselling author of Flying, presents another science fiction adventure of cheerleader-turned-alien-hunter Mana in Enhanced.

Seventeen-year-old Mana has found and rescued her mother, but her work isn’t done yet. Her mother may be out of alien hands, but she’s in a coma, unable to tell anyone what she knows.

Mana is ready to take action. The only problem? Nobody will let her. Lyle, her best friend and almost-boyfriend (for a minute there, anyway), seems to want nothing to do with hunting aliens, despite his love of Doctor Who. Bestie Seppie is so desperate to stay out of it, she’s actually leaving town. And her mom’s hot but arrogant alien-hunting partner, China, is ignoring Mana’s texts, cutting her out of the mission entirely.

They all know the alien threat won’t stay quiet for long. It’s up to Mana to fight her way back in.

“Witty dialogue and flawless action.”—VOYA

“YA readers, you’re in for a treat this week. Hilarious and action-packed, this novel is sure to be the perfect summer read.”—Bookish 

“Funny and playful, with a diverse cast of characters and a bit of romance and adventure, Flying is the perfect light summer read.”—BookPage

Order Your Copy:

amazon bn booksamillion  indiebound

Cough. That was pretty self-promotional, wasn’t it?

The Final Time Stoppers Book

What is it? It’s the third TIME STOPPERS book! It’s also one of the reasons that I forgot about ENHANCED’s release.

Time Stopper Annie’s newfound home, the enchanted town Aurora, is in danger. The vicious Raiff will stop at nothing to steal the town’s magic, and Annie is the only one who can defeat him–even though it’s prophesied that she’ll “fall with evil.”

Alongside her loyal band of friends Eva, Bloom, SalGoud, and Jamie, who still isn’t quite sure whether he’s a troll or not, Annie journeys deep into the Raiff’s realm, the Badlands. The group will face everything from ruthless monsters to their own deepest fears. Can Annie find the courage to confront the Raiff and save everyone, even if it means making the ultimate sacrifice?

What People are Saying About The Books:

An imaginative blend of fantasy, whimsy, and suspense, with a charming cast of underdog characters . . . This new fantasy series will entice younger fans of Harry Potter and Percy Jackson.” –  School Library Journal

“The characters show welcome kindness and poignant insecurity, and the text sprinkles in humor . . . and an abundance of magical creatures.” Kirkus Reviews on QUEST FOR THE GOLDEN ARROW

“An imaginative blend of fantasy, whimsy, and suspense, with a charming cast of underdog characters . . . This new fantasy series will entice younger fans of Harry Potter and Percy Jackson.” – School Library Journal on TIME STOPPERS

How to Get Signed Copies: 

If you would like to purchase signed copies of my books, you can do so through the awesome Sherman’s Book Store in Bar Harbor, Maine or the amazing Briar Patch. The books are also available online at places like Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

For signed copies – email barharbor@shermans.com for Sherman’s or email info@briarpatchbooks.comand let them know the titles in which you are interested. There’s sometimes a waiting list, but they are the best option. Plus, you’re supporting an adorable local bookstore run by some really wonderful humans. But here’s the Amazon link, too!

Cooking With a Writer – Tipsy Grilled Pineapples

So, yeah.

I’ve been hanging out in the camper for weeks and weeks now and I’ve got to admit… I’m getting a little punchy. I sort of miss floor.

So, be warned, this recipe? It’s a little punchy, too. Punchy enough to make the rest of the family vegetarians?

No.

But, pretty punchy.

Tipsy Grilled Pineapple

This recipe is adapted from cookingcanuck.com, which is an awesome place to go hang out. 

Course Dessert
Cuisine American, vegetarian
Keyword pineapple, grilled
Prep Time 15 minutes
Cook Time 15 minutes
Total Time 30 minutes
Servings 4 normal humans
Calories 600 kcal

Ingredients

  • .25 cup butter unsalted is better for you
  • .66 cup brown sugar
  • 2 tbsp flour regular kind
  • 1 cup half and half stuff my mom used to love this
  • 3 tbsp dark rum my mom refused to touch this
  • 1 tbsp lemon juice
  • .25 tsp vanilla extract try not to sniff it too much
  • a bit canola oil or vegetable oil to brush the grill
  • 1 big pineapple cut into 8 rings that are about ¾ inch thick

Instructions

  1. Okay. You are cooking with rum. Try to control yourself. 

    Put your heat source on medium. Then melt the butter in a big skillet or regular saucepan.

    Envy the butter. It changes shapes so easily while you have to work so hard to change shape. Realize part of the reason why you have to work so hard is because.... butter. 

    *PREHEAT THE GRILL TO MEDIUM*

  2. Resent the butter.

    Whisk in flour and brown sugar. To be fair, they don't help you change shape (for the better) either. Take it out on them by  whisking constantly.

    Do this for two minutes.

    Feel spent.

  3. Regret your feelings. Butter, sugar, and flour can't help it if you can't resist them, can they? 

    No. 

    No.

    This is on you.

  4. Add the half-and-half. 

    Keep whisking.

    But whisk with love.

    Love them all for five minutes. The sauce will thicken.

  5. Take it off the heat. Murmur loving things. 

    Add the rum, fresh lemon juice and vanilla extract. 

    Try not to sniff the vanilla extract too long because I swear that stuff is like ModPodge or glue and it can make you a bit... Well, it does what rum does. 

    Put the sauce on low. Really low. Keep whisking until you use it. 

    HOW DO YOU DO THIS WHILE GRILLING THE PINEAPPLES? CALL YOUR FRIEND AND COOKING PARTNER OR RUN BACK AND FORTH SUPER FAST.

  6. You ready? It's time to get these pineapples primed so they can get tipsy.

    Brush grill with canola oil. It's like a happy tanning bed back in the 1970s. Didn't people brush their skin with butter back then? 

    Flop the pineapple rings on the grill.

    Those pineapples are ready to party. Turn them over at 2.5 minutes in. They don't want to be unevenly tanned. Cook them a total of 5 minutes. 

    Those babies are beautiful and ready to be tipsy! 


  7. Put ice cream on top.

    Pour sauce all over them. 

    Wow. 

Gabby the Dog: ALCOHOL IS EVIL AND YOU ARE TRYING TO KILL ME.

Sparty the Dog: I like this.

The Man: This isn’t actually a meal.

Me: Hiccup.

Writing News

31702754 copy

ENHANCED PAPERBACK RELEASE!

This is the book that I forgot was coming out. I am so sorry, little book!

Carrie Jones, the New York Times bestselling author of Flying, presents another science fiction adventure of cheerleader-turned-alien-hunter Mana in Enhanced.

Seventeen-year-old Mana has found and rescued her mother, but her work isn’t done yet. Her mother may be out of alien hands, but she’s in a coma, unable to tell anyone what she knows.

Mana is ready to take action. The only problem? Nobody will let her. Lyle, her best friend and almost-boyfriend (for a minute there, anyway), seems to want nothing to do with hunting aliens, despite his love of Doctor Who. Bestie Seppie is so desperate to stay out of it, she’s actually leaving town. And her mom’s hot but arrogant alien-hunting partner, China, is ignoring Mana’s texts, cutting her out of the mission entirely.

They all know the alien threat won’t stay quiet for long. It’s up to Mana to fight her way back in.

“Witty dialogue and flawless action.”—VOYA
“YA readers, you’re in for a treat this week. Hilarious and action-packed, this novel is sure to be the perfect summer read.”—Bookish 

“Funny and playful, with a diverse cast of characters and a bit of romance and adventure, Flying is the perfect light summer read.”—BookPage

Order Your Copy:

amazon bn booksamillion  indiebound

Cough. That was pretty self-promotional, wasn’t it?

The Final Time Stoppers Book

What is it? It’s the third TIME STOPPERS book! It’s also one of the reasons that I forgot about ENHANCED’s release.

Time Stopper Annie’s newfound home, the enchanted town Aurora, is in danger. The vicious Raiff will stop at nothing to steal the town’s magic, and Annie is the only one who can defeat him–even though it’s prophesied that she’ll “fall with evil.”

Alongside her loyal band of friends Eva, Bloom, SalGoud, and Jamie, who still isn’t quite sure whether he’s a troll or not, Annie journeys deep into the Raiff’s realm, the Badlands. The group will face everything from ruthless monsters to their own deepest fears. Can Annie find the courage to confront the Raiff and save everyone, even if it means making the ultimate sacrifice?
What People are Saying About The Books:
An imaginative blend of fantasy, whimsy, and suspense, with a charming cast of underdog characters . . . This new fantasy series will entice younger fans of Harry Potter and Percy Jackson.” –  School Library Journal
“The characters show welcome kindness and poignant insecurity, and the text sprinkles in humor . . . and an abundance of magical creatures.” Kirkus Reviews on QUEST FOR THE GOLDEN ARROW

“An imaginative blend of fantasy, whimsy, and suspense, with a charming cast of underdog characters . . . This new fantasy series will entice younger fans of Harry Potter and Percy Jackson.” – School Library Journal on TIME STOPPERS
How to Get Signed Copies: 

If you would like to purchase signed copies of my books, you can do so through the awesome Sherman’s Book Store in Bar Harbor, Maine or the amazing Briar Patch. The books are also available online at places like Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

For signed copies – email barharbor@shermans.com for Sherman’s or email info@briarpatchbooks.comand let them know the titles in which you are interested. There’s sometimes a waiting list, but they are the best option. Plus, you’re supporting an adorable local bookstore run by some really wonderful humans. But here’s the Amazon link, too!

Cooking With A Writer – It’s spaghetti. It’s risotto. It’s spaghetti risotto?

Sorry for the break last week. I was having some major life issues that involved weeping.

Hint: Major Life Issue = Bringing daughter to the airport to head back to the Army.

But I’m back now and no longer crying, so I can give you this recipe, which is a take on a lot of broken spaghetti recipes I’ve been seeing last week.

Carrie’s internal thoughts: Am I seeing all these broken spaghetti recipes because I feel broken inside? Is this a sign from the universe?

Please ignore my internal thoughts.

Anyway, a lot of us authors have an occasional identity crisis. We want to be a middle grade author and then we realize we’re better at pictures books. We want to write erotica, but then… Apparently, hamster erotica is not a thing and so we write books about psychology instead.

 

This recipe is sort of like that.

 

It’s spaghetti, but it’s not really. It’s more risotto. And that’s cool, actually. Nobody needs to make spaghetti be relegated to clam sauce, pesto and tomato sauce. Let spaghetti live and explore its identity, I say!

So, here you go:

Spaghetti Risotto

Yep. It's weird. Just like me.

Course dinner
Cuisine American, vegetarian
Keyword risotto, spaghetti
Prep Time 5 minutes
Cook Time 10 minutes
Total Time 15 minutes
Servings 2
Calories 399 kcal

Ingredients

  • 4 cloves garlic chopped
  • 3 tsp herbes de provence say it like you're French even if you aren't
  • 2 TBSP olive oil
  • 8 oz spaghetti break it all up
  • .5 tsp red pepper flakes or to taste or not at all
  • .25 tsp black pepper and salt to taste
  • 1 cup mushrooms, orange peppers, peas chopped - you can pick the veggies you prefer. Beware that mushrooms give off some water

Instructions

  1. Find a big pan. Put pan on medium-high burner. Throw in the garlic and olive oil and some veggie broth (a tablespoon – maybe two).

  2. Add the vegetables to the pan and saute them for 2-3 minutes. Make them soft. 

  3. Break your spaghetti. Imagine it is all the editors and agents who ever rejected you. Cackle with joy and revenge. 

  4. Add the spaghetti. It is broken. But you, my little writer friend, are not broken. You are triumphant! You will write on! Stir it all around. Think about cackling again. Stir and cackle for two more minutes until it is a new color. That color should be light brown. 

  5. Add a half of a cup of veggie broth at a time. Keep stirring. DO NOT STOP STIRRING. Do this until the pasta is all the way cooked. 

  6. Add hot pepper flakes. Add parsley. Add black pepper and salt. 

Man Verdict: I can eat all of this.

Dogs Verdict: We can, too!

Carrie Verdict: Yep. It’s a go.

Writing News

Next and Last Time Stoppers Book

It’s almost out! You can pre-ordermy middle grade fantasy novel Time Stoppers Escape From the Badlands here or anywhere. The official release date is August 7! 

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People call it a cross between Harry Potter and Percy Jackson but it’s set in Maine. It’s full of adventure, quirkiness and heart.

Moe Berg

The Spy Who Played Baseballis a picture book biography about Moe Berg. And… there’s a movie out now about Moe Berg, a major league baseball player who became a spy. How cool is that?

You should totally buy Carrie’s book about Moe. It’s awesome and quirky and fun.

OUR PODCAST DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE.

Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness as we talk about random thoughts, writing advice and life tips. We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of. Please share it and subscribe if you can. Please rate and like us if you are feeling kind, because it matters somehow.

dogs are smarter than people carrie after dark being relentless to get published

Writing Coach

Carrie offers solo writing coach services. For more about Carrie’s individual coaching, click here.

Ebook on Sale for July – and July is almost over! 

And finally, for the month of July, my book FLYING is on sale in ebook version on multiple platforms, which means not just Amazon. It’s a cheap way to have an awesome read in a book that’s basically Men in Black meets Buffy the Vampire Slayer but with chocolate-covered pretzels.

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Appearances

Carrie will be at The Books-A-Million in South Portland, Maine on August 8. She’ll be at the Maine Literacy Volunteers Festival on September 8.

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Cooking With a Writer – Veggie Hummus Roll-Ups or Pita

So, as we know. I am attempting to get the man who lives here (also known as Shaun) to eat less meat.

I am chronicling my attempts.

This is the easiest recipe in the universe, honestly, because you buy pre-made hummus, which is totally cheating.

This recipes breaks the writer stereotype that all writers cook with wine all the time. Because… truth is … most of us can’t afford wine.

 

Veggie Wraps

Because it is summer and writers get lazy

Course dinner
Cuisine American, vegetarian
Keyword hummus, wrap, spinach
Prep Time 10 minutes
Total Time 10 minutes
Servings 2
Calories 270 kcal

Ingredients

  • 2 pitas or flat bread
  • .5 cupric garlic a flavor is good
  • 1 whole red pepper or orange or yellow
  • 1 cup baby spinach
  • 1 oz feta cheese or cheddar if you are anti-feta

Instructions

  1. On one pita bread spread half the hummus.

    On another pita spread the other half.


  2. Slice the pepper evenly.

    Put half on one pita.

    Put half on the other.

    Thank about how everything is being halved. Wonder if you should halve your 260,000-word hybrid narrative that puts the characters from Attack on Titan in a Star Trek universe, but then adds in Captain America pre-formula. 

    Decide no.

    To heck with word counts. The story DEMANDS to be long.

  3. Push 1/2  1/2 cup spinach and 2 tablespoons cheese into the pockets. If using wraps, roll wraps. If using pockets, pray they don't break the way the plot in your 260,000-word story did. 

THE VERDICT

The dogs: I LIKE THIS! BAKED GOODS!

The man: Thank you for not cooking the spinach, we can stay married.

Me: I love this

Cooking with a Writer - Veggie flatbread or pitas. No booze involved!
cooking with a writer

Writing News

The Spy Who Played Baseball is a picture book biography about Moe Berg. And… there’s a movie out now about Moe Berg, a major league baseball player who became a spy. How cool is that?

You should totally buy my book about Moe. It’s awesome and quirky and fun because it’s about Moe Berg and it’s a picture book. I’m heading to Houston, North Carolina, and Virgnia soon, just to talk about it. How cool is that?

My Post copy 6

OUR PODCAST DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE.

Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness as we talk about random thoughts, writing advice and life tips. We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of. Please share it and subscribe if you can. Please rate and like us if you are feeling kind, because it matters somehow.

Writing Coach

I offer solo writing coach services, but I’m also teaching a Write! Submit! Support! (WSS) six-month class online via the Writing Barn in Austin. For details about that class, check out this link. For more about my individual coaching, click here.

WSS-Testimonial-Mountains-1-300x300

And finally, for the month of July, my book FLYINGis on sale in ebook version on multiple platforms, which means not just Amazon. It’s a cheap way to have an awesome read in a book that’s basically Men in Black meets Buffy the Vampire Slayer but with chocolate-covered pretzels.

Screen Shot 2018-07-05 at 3.37.18 PM

Proof of the sale-nature of July.

 

Thanks so much for reading my blog! Please comment or say ‘hi!’ if you feel like it!

 

Cooking With a Writer – Amazing Twice Baked Potatoes

In my never ending quest to make The Man a vegetarian (or to at least eat less meat), I pulled out the American comfort food that clogs almost every happy vegetarian’s arteries.

Yes… twice baked potatoes.

I know! I know! It’s full of dairy.

It’s one step at a time over here, people. One step at a time.

Twice Baked Potato

When your potatoes are overachievers. 

Course Side Dish
Cuisine American
Keyword potato, twicebakedpotato
Prep Time 15 minutes
Cook Time 1 hour 30 minutes
Total Time 1 hour 45 minutes
Servings 4 people
Calories 430 kcal

Ingredients

  • 2 whole baking potatoes
  • 4 slices bacon
  • .5 cup sour cream
  • .25 cup milk
  • .5 cup cream cheese onion and chive flavor is awesome
  • 2 tbsp butter
  • .5 cup cheddar cheese
  • 4 bits green onion slice the onions up and separate into two piles
  • 2 tsp onion powder

Instructions

  1. Writer! Find your oven! Turn it on to 350 Fahrenheit.

    Hint: Oven is usually in the kitchen. 

  2. Poke holes in your potatoes. Rub them in a little oil if you have it, but not a lot because you don't want them to drip. Place the potatoes in the oven. Keep them there for 60 minutes. 


    Think about potatoes. They are so versatile like those annoying writers who get starred reviews in multiple genres. Try not to hate potatoes. Fail. Those jerks. MUST THEY BE ABLE TO DO EVERYTHING? 

  3. Take potatoes out of the oven. Realize that not only are they a versatile food capable of inspiring Seamus Heaney poems, but they also inspire children's games like hot potato.

    Hate them more.

    Realize that you will eat them and they will become a part of you. You win in this power struggle. You the writer are going to triumph over the potato.

  4. Let them cool for 10 minutes.

    Realize you could just eat them now as regular old baked potatoes. Why do you need to be fancy?

    Because other writers are fancy. That's why. And you can overachieve, too, even if you are still wearing your pajamas at 7 p.m. and you woke up at 8 a.m. Hey! You woke up. That's achieving.


  5. Cut the poor potatoes in half lengthwise.

    This feels violent. You are not violent.

    Continue on and scoop the soft potato innards into a large bowl.

    Save skins. They aren't really skins. It's okay. Let's call them peels. That sounds nicer.

    Save the peels. Try not to rip them.


  6. Add cream cheese, sour cream, milk, butter, salt, pepper, 1/4 cup cheddar cheese, onion powder, and 1/2 the green onions.  Add all of that to the potato innards. 

    Then mix it until it is creamy. Use a hand mixer if you have electricity and stuff like hand mixers. If not just whip it into a frenzy with a potato masher. Do you have one of those? How about a fork? Even that will work. 


  7. Put all of that stuff  into the potato skins. Top each with remaining cheese, and green onions.

  8. Put it in the oven again for 15 minutes.

    Appreciate that you overachieved and went for it. You did it, writer! Eat up! 

Dog Verdict: PLEASE PUT BACON ON THESE.

Man Verdict: These would be even more amazing with bacon bits, but I like them. I like them a lot.

Me: EVERYTHING IS NOT BETTER WITH BACON! 

All others: (Blank stares).

Writing News

The Spy Who Played Baseball is a picture book biography about Moe Berg. And… there’s a movie out now about Moe Berg, a major league baseball player who became a spy. How cool is that?

You should totally buy Carrie’s book about Moe. It’s awesome and quirky and fun.

Moe Berg The Spy Who Played Baseball
Moe Berg

OUR PODCAST DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE.

Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness as we talk about random thoughts, writing advice and life tips. We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of. Please share it and subscribe if you can. Please rate and like us if you are feeling kind, because it matters somehow.

Writing Coach

Carrie offers solo writing coach services, but she’s also teaching a Write! Submit! Support! six-month class online via the Writing Barn in Austin. For details about that class, check out this link. For more about Carrie’s individual coaching, click here.

 

Cooking With a Writer – Mujaddara

When I was a kid, my uncle Charlie was one of my favorite people. This was mostly because he was super mellow. His family was Lebanese and settled in Manchester, N.H. and married my aunt Rosie. Aunt Rosie was the best cook in our family, which annoyed my mom so much. SO MUCH!

My mom was the best baker though, which I have to say or her ghost will strike me down or something. Hopefully, Aunt Rosie’s ghost is holding her back.

Anyway, Charlie’s real name was Kalil, but I never knew that when I was a kid. I can’t imagine that was the easiest name to have in Manchester, N.H. back when he was alive.  He died when I was ten, but I have the best memories of him making me try food that nobody else made. It was pretty awesome. So was he.

In Charlie’s honor, I tried to make mujaddara, which is something I remember vaguely having when I was little. It’s cheap. It’s filling. I hope you like it.  And if you are Lebanese and you know a better recipe for this or tweaks? Please let me know.

 

Mujaddara

This calorie count is not exact. 

Course Dessert
Cuisine American, lebanese, vegetarian
Keyword lentils Mujaddara
Prep Time 10 minutes
Cook Time 1 hour 40 minutes
Total Time 1 hour 50 minutes
Servings 4 humans
Calories 300 kcal

Ingredients

  • 2 tbsp olive oil
  • 4 onions yellow, thinly sliced
  • 2 tsp cumin
  • 1.5 tsp allspice
  • .5 tsp cloves ground
  • 2.5 cups vegetable broth
  • 1 cup rice long grain, jasmine if you can
  • 1 cup lentils brown
  • 1 stick cinnamon if you have it
  • .5 tsp black pepper peppercorn if possible

Instructions

  1. Find a pot. Put lentils in pot. Cover with water that rises over it about one inch. 

    Bring to boil.

    Lower to simmer.

    Cook about 20 minutes.

  2. On another burner with another pot, put the temperature to medium-high heat .

    Add oil. Let oil warm for a minute.

    Add in cumin, pepper, allspice, cloves, and cook for 30 seconds to a minute. 

    Add all those onions. Think about how much you cried slicing those onions. Wow. That is how much you want people to cry when they read your book.

  3. Cook those onions for about 15 minutes until they are no longer white. 

    You want those onions to be a dark caramel brown. You will have to stir often.

    Good results, transforming characters, books and food that makes you cry? It requires effort. You've got this, writer. You're used to effort.


  4. Take out half the onions and set them aside. 

    It's okay. They are not gone forever. I promise. 

  5. Add in any more ground cumin, and add the cinnamon stick.

    Saute about 1 minute.

    Add the rice. Stir a lot.


  6. Add the cooked lentils, broth, and 1 1/2 teaspoons of salt; bring to a boil. 

    Turn the heat to low, simmer 30 minutes. 

    Turn it off and let it rest for 10 minutes.

    Do not take off the lid! NO LOOKING! SERIOUSLY.

    Okay. Take off the lid. Is there any water left? If so, simmer about 5 minutes.

  7. Fluff it up and make it pretty like editors at traditional publishing houses do to stories. 

    Put those saved onions on top.

    Eat! 

This is all part of my lifelong experiment to convince The Man (Shaun of the “Dogs are Smarter Than People” podcast to give up meat.

 

Man Verdict: I am okay with this.

Dog Verdict: WE ARE NOT ALLOWED TO EAT THIS BECAUSE ONIONS! AND LENTILS! AND WHY DO YOU HATE US, HUMAN?

Carrie Verdict: It reminds me of Uncle Charlie so it’s a win.

Writing News

Carrie’s  super excited about the upcoming TIME STOPPERS book coming out this August.

This middle grade fantasy series happens in Acadia National Park in Bar Harbor, Maine and it’s all about friendship and magic and kids saving their magical town.

An imaginative blend of fantasy, whimsy, and suspense, with a charming cast of underdog characters . . . This new fantasy series will entice younger fans of Harry Potter and Percy Jackson.” –  School Library Journal 

“A wild and fresh take on fantasy with an intriguing cast of characters. Dangerous and scary and fun all rolled into one. In the words of Eva the dwarf, I freaking loved it!” –  Lisa McMann, New York Times bestselling author of The Unwanteds series

“Effervescent, funny, and genuine.” –  Kirkus Reviews

It’s quirky. It’s awesome. It’s full of heart. You should go by the first two books now. 🙂

 

 

 

CARRIE’S BOOKS

For a complete round-up of Carrie’s 16-or-so books, check out her website. And if you like us, or our podcast, or just want to support a writer, please buy one of those books, or leave a review on a site like Amazon. Those reviews help. It’s all some weird marketing algorhthym from hell, basically.

OUR PODCAST DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE.

Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness as we talk about random thoughts, writing advice and life tips.

We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of. Please share it and subscribe if you can.

Please rate and like us if you are feeling kind, because it matters somehow.

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Cooking With a Writer – Migas (Portuguese style)

The Portuguese part of my family were great cooks. Brilliant cooks, honestly. And I think a reason for that was because for so long they had to learn to create goodness out of little; they had to feed many people out of not too much, right? And because they loved each other, they wanted what they shared to taste… Well, they wanted it to taste good. So, they developed ways to use up leftovers and ways to make simple things taste special.

You can compare this to my Nana Morse (totally not Portuguese) who had a tendency to put peanut butter inside a celery stick and call it good.  Sometimes she put in cream cheese instead. You avoided those sticks.

The family rule was to not eat anything Nana made if it had a dairy product in it because… Well, people in my family preferred not to vomit, basically.

Anyways, this recipe was cheap, filling, and its main ingredients were garlic, bread, and water. So… yeah… There you go!

 

Migas (Portuguese Style)

You have bread left. You're poor. You need to eat it. The calories are totally an estimate. Sorry. 

You can add paprika, or onions. 

There are a ton of variations. I have seen it with mushrooms. I have seen black-eyed peas thrown in, but this is the most basic version that I had as a kid, most likely because it's the cheapest. 🙂 

Course Breakfast, dinner
Cuisine portuguese, vegetarian
Keyword migas
Prep Time 5 minutes
Cook Time 15 minutes
Total Time 20 minutes
Servings 4 normal people
Calories 290 kcal

Ingredients

  • 1 lb crusty bread - old but not moldy because idk cut up or torn up
  • 6 TBSP olive oil
  • 4 cloves garlic peeled, hole
  • 3.5 cups water - about, may need a bit more
  • 1 bunch coriander

Instructions

  1. Find a saucepan. Boil water in it.

    Water should always be free, shouldn't it? And clean? Think about how you are spending all your time writing blog posts instead of working for clean water. Feel guilt. 

  2. Find another saucepan. 

    Put oil in that saucepan on low heat. Put garlic in there, too. 

    Cook for three minutes, stirring it a bit. 

    Decide if you write about clean water needs you don't need to feel guilty that  don't have enough money to donate towards the cause. You're a writer. It's okay to write. Feel better.

  3. Add the bread to the second saucepan where the oil and garlic are hanging out.

    Imagine you're hanging out with famous political activists at a party where there is an announcement about free, clean water available all around the world because of your inspiring blog post. 

  4. Gradually pour in the boiling water from the first saucepan and into the second. Let it mix and be warm. When the bread starts getting mushy and the water's gone. You're done cooking.

    Mourn the water. Realize how important water really is. Feel guilty again.


  5. Add coriander or kale to the top. Add salt and pepper. 

Writing News

Carrie’s  super excited about the upcoming TIME STOPPERS book coming out this August.

This middle grade fantasy series happens in Acadia National Park in Bar Harbor, Maine and it’s all about friendship and magic and kids saving their magical town.

An imaginative blend of fantasy, whimsy, and suspense, with a charming cast of underdog characters . . . This new fantasy series will entice younger fans of Harry Potter and Percy Jackson.” –  School Library Journal 

“A wild and fresh take on fantasy with an intriguing cast of characters. Dangerous and scary and fun all rolled into one. In the words of Eva the dwarf, I freaking loved it!” –  Lisa McMann, New York Times bestselling author of The Unwanteds series

“Effervescent, funny, and genuine.” –  Kirkus Reviews

It’s quirky. It’s awesome. It’s full of heart. You should go by the first two books now. 🙂

 

 

 

CARRIE’S BOOKS

For a complete round-up of Carrie’s 16-or-so books, check out her website. And if you like us, or our podcast, or just want to support a writer, please buy one of those books, or leave a review on a site like Amazon. Those reviews help. It’s all some weird marketing algorhthym from hell, basically.

OUR PODCAST DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE.

Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness as we talk about random thoughts, writing advice and life tips.

We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of. Please share it and subscribe if you can.

Please rate and like us if you are feeling kind, because it matters somehow.

My Post Copy-2