Hate Hard, the Beer Poems, and Building the Life You Want

Best weird podcast for writing tips
Dogs Are Smarter Than People: Writing Life, Marriage and Motivation
Hate Hard, the Beer Poems, and Building the Life You Want
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I’ve been going through holes of Reels and short-form videos at night lately, watching people remodel their house or home, decorate for holidays, and then, um, being an Amazon affiliate.

At the same time, a lot of the writers I work with are having BIG DOUBT MOMENTS as they query and read Twitter/X and see authors behaving badly or agents behaving badly or people getting yelled at for sucking at something.

And they are scared.

Now, there’s one part of this in that you need to put stuff into perspective. Losing your reputation isn’t the same as being in a war zone or in natural disaster or having someone violent in your own home, right?

We act like it is though.

Same thing about money. We act, sometimes, like it’s the only thing that gives our lives value. We all need to unlearn that.

What gives your life value is what YOU determine gives it value. That might be money if you’re into that. It might be family. It might be friends or having a sense of purpose. The point is that YOU get to determine that, not society, not TikTok viewers or literary agents.

When we go in to build or remodel or decorate a room, one of the most important questions is: What is the purpose of this room? What do I want it to feel like? What do I want to feel like when I’m in it?

When we go in to build a scene of our story, we ask those same questions: What is the purpose of this scene? Is it to show conflict, move the plot forward, dive more deeply into character, make a new obstruction? And more importantly, what do I want the reader to feel?

When we go in to build who we are as a person and our life, we can ask those same questions, too: What is the purpose of what I’m doing right now? What does my choice make me feel like? Who do I want to be here, right now, in this moment?

Kind of amazing but simple, right?

Who do we want to be? Are we making the choices to be that person?

I’ve lost that a bit lately. But I’ve made a list to start getting that back. I hope you will, too!



DOG TIP FOR LIFE

Be the dog you want to be.


WRITING EXERCISE

This is from “What If,” which is a book of writing exercises. You can learn more about it here.

“Image Notebook

“Keep an image notebook and write down one image every single day by asking yourself “What’s the most striking thing I heard, saw, smelled, touched, or tasted today?”


PLACES TO SUBMIT

Gemini Magazine Fourteenth Annual Poetry Open Contest.

Unpublished poetry. Poems on personal blogs are accepted.

Entry Fee: $9 (three poems), $18 (six poems), $27 (nine poems), and $36 (twelve poems). Prize: $1,000 + publication, 2nd Prize: $100 + publication, and $25 + publication for four honorable mentions.

Deadline: January 2, 2024.


The 2023 Exeter Novel Prize is open to unpublished and published writers worldwide who are not represented by a literary agent. Entrants submit the first 10,000 words of their in-progress novel and a 500-word synopsis.

Entry Fee: £20.

Prize: £1,000 + a trophy, 2nd Prize: £100 + a paperweight (five winners).

Deadline: January 1, 2024.


SPECIAL NOTE:

We’re taking next week off! So, no posts or podcasts for the last week of December 2023! Happy new year and holidays to all of you!


SHOUT OUT!

The music we’ve clipped and shortened in this podcast is awesome and is made available through the Creative Commons License. 

Here’s a link to that and the artist’s website. Who is this artist and what is this song?  It’s “Summer Spliff” by Broke For Free.

WE HAVE EXTRA CONTENT ALL ABOUT LIVING HAPPY OVER HERE! It’s pretty awesome.

We have a podcast, LOVING THE STRANGE, which we stream biweekly live on Carrie’s Facebook and Twitter and YouTube on Fridays. Her Facebook and Twitter handles are all carriejonesbooks or carriejonesbook. But she also has extra cool content focused on writing tips here.

Carrie is reading one of her raw poems every once in awhile on CARRIE DOES POEMS. And there you go! Whew! That’s a lot!

Beers All Over the Highway and How To Get to that Flow State

Best weird podcast for writing tips
Dogs Are Smarter Than People: Writing Life, Marriage and Motivation
Beers All Over the Highway and How To Get to that Flow State
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This podcast is about a butt ton of Coors Light on a Florida highway and flow states.

A few years ago, we talked about FLOW on our podcast and then I just did again over on our LIVING HAPPY newsletter, but I thought it would be pretty cool to talk about it for another hot second because more people are talking about it now.

We’re trendsetters, baby.

DOG TIP FOR LIFE:

To get that flow state, stay focused, persistent, give yourself time, minimize distractions and make it a tiny bit hard. It’s like chasing a cat. You always think you might catch it, but it’s not easy. 

RANDOM THOUGHT LINK

https://www.npr.org/2022/09/22/1124451096/florida-coors-light-beer-cans-highway-crash

https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.645498/full

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5763465/

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/flow-state

Is My Beer Okay and the Problems With People Pleasing

Best weird podcast for writing tips
Dogs Are Smarter Than People: Writing Life, Marriage and Motivation
Is My Beer Okay and the Problems With People Pleasing
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When Carrie was growing up, she spent a lot of time trying to make sure her mom didn’t cry or get too mad or sad.

“One of my earliest memories is actually yelling at my poor dad, telling him that I hated him because he made ‘my mommy’ cry. I was younger than four and I had no idea what was going on with them, but to my little four-year-old brain, keeping my mom happy was my job and duty.”

But what that taught Carrie was that you have to please other people to keep things from erupting into chaos. Her mom didn’t consciously teach that to her at all, and her mom had a lot of people pleaser in her, too. And then a bad relationship with a man with alcohol issues and abusive tendencies made it even worse. How can you have a want when that want might mean you’ll get pushed up against a wall?

The problem with being a people pleaser is that you spend so much time thinking about how your actions impact others that you forget to make decisions on what you yourself want to do.

So now when she’s asked things like, “What’s your favorite food? Where do you want to go to dinner? Where would you like to go on vacation?” She freezes up.

She’s lost the ability to make decisions for herself because she’s afraid of the consequences and because she wants everyone else to be happy.

Tiny Buddha has an article about three questions that you can ask yourself if you’re a people pleaser to help you reorient to putting yourself first occasionally and not do the Carrie freeze.

Those questions are:

  1. Is this my priority? Not other people’s?
  2. What is important to me?
  3. How will I feel after I make this decision?

When you know what your priority is, what kind of life you want, what is important, then you can make the decisions that make you happy, the ones that help you grow.

DOG TIP FOR LIFE

The thing is to be in your moment Right now. Where are you? Are you stuck in a car and can't open the door? You can still smile out the window. The car will move again. You will move again. You've got this. You're so full of light. xo Sparty Dog (apologies for the hearts)
Sparty Dog

Be who you are and know what you want.

LINKS WE REFERENCED


https://www.ketk.com/news/weird-news/video-florida-man-struck-by-car-leaving-store-asks-if-his-beer-is-ok/


SHOUT OUT!

The music we’ve clipped and shortened in this podcast is awesome and is made available through the Creative Commons License. 

Here’s a link to that and the artist’s website. Who is this artist and what is this song?  It’s “Summer Spliff” by Broke For Free.

WE HAVE EXTRA CONTENT ALL ABOUT LIVING HAPPY OVER HERE! It’s pretty awesome.

We have a podcast, LOVING THE STRANGE, which we stream biweekly live on Carrie’s Facebook and Twitter and YouTube on Fridays. Her Facebook and Twitter handles are all carriejonesbooks or carriejonesbook. But she also has extra cool content focused on writing tips here.

Carrie is reading one of her raw poems every once in awhile on CARRIE DOES POEMS. And there you go! Whew! That’s a lot!

Banff, Beer, Balls, and Going to the Dark Side, Baby

Best weird podcast for writing tips
Dogs Are Smarter Than People: Writing Life, Marriage and Motivation
Banff, Beer, Balls, and Going to the Dark Side, Baby
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We have a bonus podcast this week and it has swears in it and some adult content, so we’re going to give it an explicit rating even though it’s not super explicit. We’re just chill like that.

The bonus podcast features:

  1. Shaun lying
  2. Banff Film Festival!
  3. Carrie talking about third grader writers. Note: They have their characters rip their own hearts out in stories.
  4. The fact that the word ‘fart’ is a terribly ugly word and Carrie never quote-unquote ‘rips one.’
  5. Bud-Lite

We’re super psyched because this episode is sponsored by Ballsy.

Best sponsorship ever. 

And why is that? 

Because Ballsy is for fun couples like us who are not into lame gifts for Valentine’s Day and they have a cool gift set just for Valentine’s Day and people like us. 

You want this, don’t you?

There’s an I’m Nuts About You gift set and the You’re Incrediballs heart box set.

They are running a promo right now for LOVE DAY and all days, really. The retail price is $less than $50, and the coupon code is for 20% off.

Here is your code for you, our cool listener: DOGS20

It has the word DOG in the code. That’s so cool. Just like you’ll be cool if you give this to your special man for Valentine’s. So go check Ballsy out at ballwash.com

The link to our episode.

Our last regular episode.

Beer Fest is Not the Question. Beer Fest is the Answer. Dogs are Smarter Than People Bonus Podcast where we get a little tipsy to support local brewers.

So, Shaun and I made a bonus podcast at yesterday’s Fourth Annual Bar Harbor Winter Beer Fest.

Yes, you heard that right.

We basically battled ridiculously cold temperatures the day before a giant storm in order to hang out with a bunch of Maine beer drinkers and we made new friends, talked to men in kilts, brewers, and a really cool guy making a film about kids doing really cool things.

Yes, we make less sense as we go on.

Yes, part of the podcast was created in a port-a-potty.

You should listen to it anyway.

Here are links to Thom’s amazing project with the students trying to save whales. A newspaper article is here. An Instagram account is here. Thom’s film projects Facebook page is here.

Shout Out!

The music we’ve clipped and shortened in this podcast is awesome and is made available through the Creative Commons License. Here’s a link to that and the artist’s website. Who is this artist and what is this song?  It’s “Night Owl” by Broke For Free.

Help Us and Do An Awesome Good Deed

Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness as we talk about random thoughts, writing advice and life tips. We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of. Please share it and subscribe if you can. Please rate and like us if you are feeling kind, because it matters somehow. There’s a new episode every Tuesday!


BE A PART OF THE PODCAST!

Hey! If you download the Anchor application, you can call into the podcast, record a question, or just say ‘hi,’ and we’ll answer. You can be heard on our podcast! Sa-sweet!

No question is too wild. But just like Shaun does, try not to swear, okay?

Here is the link to the mobile app.

WRITING AND OTHER NEWS

ART.

I do art stuff. You can find it and buy a print here. 

Bar Harbor Painting Schooner
Bar Harbor Painting Schooner

TIME STOPPERS!

You can order my middle grade fantasy novel Time Stoppers Escape From the Badlands here or anywhere.

People call it a cross between Harry Potter and Percy Jackson but it’s set in Maine. It’s full of adventure, quirkiness and heart.

Time Stoppers Carrie Jones Middle grade fantasy

MOE BERG 

The Spy Who Played Baseball is a picture book biography about Moe Berg. And… there’s a movie out now about Moe Berg, a major league baseball player who became a spy. How cool is that?

It’s awesome and quirky and fun.

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FLYING AND ENHANCED

Men in Black meet Buffy the Vampire Slayer? You know it. You can buy them here or anywhere.

31702754 copy

WRITING COACH

I offer solo writing coach services. For more about my individual coaching, click here.

The Secret to Writing Good Stories

Interesting people and interesting stories don’t happen without a little worry and some pain. It’s about living through emotion, through the tear-soaked nights where you’re sweating over your existence. It’s about fear of being alone, or unloved, or unliked – and risking it anyways, just embracing who you are and your lack of chill and going after your passion.

Writing and living are about joy and they are about pain. And the most interesting people are the explorers.

This is something I try to remind myself when I’m freaking out inside. I remind myself to face my fears, to be an explorer, to not run away from the interesting.

But I know that the secret to writing good stories is understanding yourself, and your relationship to other people. It’s about living despite fear and trying to understand people and their own inner worlds, the ones that suck them dry and make them proud, the things that make them sweat instead of sleeping, their dreams, the broken dreams and the ones that they still might fulfill.

And to do that? You’ve got to do two things:

  1. Listen.
  2. Be brave.

Last week, I went into a bar in Portland, Maine. It was this dive-bar type place where you could get two beers for $7, which in Portland is super cheap because normally one beer costs about $700… or something.

But that’s not the point of the story.

When I went into the bar, I sort of wanted to turn around and leave.

True admission time: I’m not a bar person. Like even in college, I only went to a bar twice. Both times were disasters. One involved me hitting on a narc officer, which was the first and only time I’ve ever hit on someone. THAT IS HOW BADLY IT WENT! The other bar visit involved me hiding under a table for… Well, for a really long time.

Secret: It is pretty beer-floor sticky and old gum disgusting under bar tables.

So, me wanting to leave a bar is not a new thing. But this Portland bar? This was the bar of short stories in the New Yorker, Hemingway, and Raymond Carver.  There were no hipsters. The place had a pool table, scarred from fights and bad hits. The only other decoration was a giant mirrored Miller Lite sign on the wall.  It had a really skinny, old man bartending who wobbled a bit while he poured and repositioned his man parts with his hand before he put a straw in the owner’s glass.

When I came in, three guys at the far end of the bar were talking to each other about women and um… making babies…? I’m not sure how to phrase that delicately. But it wasn’t about delicately making babies; that’s for sure.

They stopped talking when I came into sight because I am not full of testosterone. Anyways, it was a weird scene. But at the end of my one beer, the bartender was talking and offered a piece of his recent history.

On the back of his head was a huge scar, just congealed and thick and rough looking.

“I fell down Tuesday. I was getting a smoke and I stepped off the curb and wham… Stepped wrong. I had some booze in me, too, but my legs aren’t so good anymore and I wobble,” he said. He showed me his scar. “It bled all over the place. My daughter’s studying to be a lawyer and she’s so mad at me because I wouldn’t go to the hospital. The EMT guys when they came? They were like, ‘You have to stop smoking so we can work on you,’ and I was like pointing at the blood pouring down my face and I was, ‘Hey, man, I went through a lot to get this cigarette lit. Can I have two drags?’ And they said that I could.”

My Post-4

He smiled. He shrugged. He pointed at the massive scar on the back of his head again and laughed at himself.

Here’s a guy who listens to other people’s stories all day, stuck in the stifling, hot building, prowling behind a bar as the Portland tourists pretty much snub their noses, peeking in and gasping, heading for trendier places. Portland was just named best restaurant city in the U.S. by Bon Appetit or some magazine like that. There are a lot of trendier places.

But he told me his story that day. He told me about his medic son. His daughter. The way he can’t stand so well anymore. The way that sometimes he just longs to step outside the bar and have a cigarette so sometimes he does.

“But I wobble,” he said.

“We all wobble,” I offered and he looked at me. He really looked for a second, and then another.

“You get it,” he said. “You get it.”

I can only hope.

There is this beautiful weirdness that happens when you step out of your comfort zone in life and in writing.  There is nothing cooler than the delightful quirky connections that happen when you actually talk to people about themselves, the bartenders, the house cleaners, the guy who hoses out a restaurant’s grease pit, the woman who grooms dogs, the lady at the campground with what seems like 18 kids and a breast cancer plate on her truck. There is this great connection that happens in the noise and clutter of life when we just take a second to listen.

And that’s what I want when I write and when I live: I want to listen.

Writing News or Buy My Stuff, Please

Next and Last Time Stoppers Book

It’s out! You can order my middle grade fantasy novel Time Stoppers Escape From the Badlands here or anywhere.

Please buy it so I can keep buying food for the dogs… and stuff…

37584945_10156714893329073_1974569355584733184_n

People call it a cross between Harry Potter and Percy Jackson but it’s set in Maine. It’s full of adventure, quirkiness and heart.

Moe Berg

The Spy Who Played Baseball is a picture book biography about Moe Berg. And… there’s a movie out now about Moe Berg, a major league baseball player who became a spy. How cool is that?

You should totally buy my book about Moe. It’s awesome and quirky and fun.

My Post copy 6

OUR PODCAST DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE.

Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness as we talk about random thoughts, writing advice and life tips. We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of. Please share it and subscribe if you can. Please rate and like us if you are feeling kind, because it matters somehow.

dogs are smarter than people carrie after dark being relentless to get published

Writing Coach

I offer solo writing coach services. For more about my individual coaching, click here.

Appearances

I’ll be at the Maine Literacy Volunteers Festival on September 8. It is in Augusta, Maine.