There are certain really important questions in this world.
Why does asparagus have to smell soooo rotten when it cooks?
And why does my asparagus have cool googly eyes?
Why does my dog Gabby have to lick my fingers every time I sit down and type?
No, Gabby, “fingers are yummy” is not a good answer.
And why does Gabby think the UPS man is evil incarnated?
Gabby: No, that prom dress is evil incarnate. What were you thinking?
*sobs
One of my major questions of all time is why is black bean soup not so tasty?
Like I love refried black beans. I love black beans in a regular way. Why not the soup?
I tried a recipe to find out.
Black Bean Soup – Allegedly Spicy
It’s soup. It’s made from canned black beans.
- 2 tbsp olive oil (enough to coat the pot's bottom)
- 2 onions (chopped, diced, cut)
- 2 celery stalky things – ribs? Ribs sounds creepy (chopped)
- 5 garlic cloves or 7 TBS (Totally up to you, but mince it)
- 5 tsp cumin
- .5 tsp red pepper flakes (This was not spicy enough for me)
- 4 cans black beans (rinse. drain. )
- 4 cups veggie broth
- 2 tsp lime juice
- salt and pepper (as much as feels good to you)
You can garnish. It will impact the calorie count, obviously, but it's way more fun – cilantro, avocado, cheese, tortilla chips
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Find a pot. Study the pot. Is it big enough?
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Put the olive oil in the pot. Turn the burner onto medium. Watch the oil get warm. Ponder life.
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Wonder why you’re writer.
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When the oil is shimmering like a vampire in a successful young adult novel/movie franchise, add the onions, celery, carrot and maybe salt if you are into that. Cook 10 minutes or until the veggies are soft and mushy.
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Think about how you changed those veggies from hard things into soft things. Feel powerful. Wish you could elicit that same kind of change in your main character and her story arc.
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Add garlic. Think about vampires. Wonder if world is ready for another vampire franchise. Add cumin and red pepper. Cook 30 seconds. HURRY!
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30 seconds pass so quickly when you aren’t waiting for an agent to call. You have no time to ponder this. Instead, add all the beans and the broth. Turn the heat up enough to get a simmer.
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Lower the heat so that it’s a gentle simmer and keep it that way for 30 minutes.
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Cry. Because the world really isn’t ready for another vampire franchise yet even though you, personally, have written 374,012 words about vampires and love and garlic.
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Stare at the social media outlet of your choice for 30 minutes while your soup is simmering. Pretend like you’re going to use this time to write.
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Don’t write.
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Go back to the kitchen. Really super carefully get 4 cups of the soup (more if you like your soup thick like your prose and plot and descriptions). Blend/puree that soup in a blender. Be careful of steam.
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Return blended up soupy stuff into the pot. Stir it all up. Add the cilantro if you want, lime, salt, and pepper. Taste it.
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Eat that soup. It should be dark like the night that your story’s vampires emerge from, dark like your villain’s heart.
Gabby the Dog and Spartacus the Dog’s Verdict: They won’t let us taste this. It’s all ‘black beans and dogs don’t mix’ and ‘You’re name is Spartacus not Fartacus.’ Humans….
Man Verdict: This is delicious and filling. But I’m going to go have a third bowl anyways because I don’t believe in moderation.
Me: I think it needs more cumin and spice and salt and cumin and lime and cumin.
Man: There is no pleasing you.
Me: I’m a writer. All I want to do is improve things. It’s how I am made.
WRITING NEWS AND APPEARANCE AND STUFF:
THE CLASS AT THE WRITING BARN
The awesome 6-month-long Writing Barn class that they’ve let me be in charge of!? It’s happening again in July. Write! Submit! Support!is a pretty awesome class. It’s a bit like a mini MFA but way more supportive and way less money.
PRAISE FOR CARRIE JONES AND WRITE. SUBMIT. SUPPORT:
“Carrie has the fantastic gift as a mentor to give you honest feedback on what needs work in your manuscript without making you question your ability as a writer. She goes through the strengths and weaknesses of your submissions with thought, care and encouragement.”
FLYING AND ENHANCED – THE YOUNG ADULT SCIENCE FICTION SERIES
Cross Buffy with Men in Black and you get… you get a friends-powered action adventure based in the real world, but with a science fiction twist. More about it is here. But these are fun, fast books that are about identity, being a hero, and saying to heck with being defined by other people’s expectations.
This quick, lighthearted romp is a perfect choice for readers who like their romance served with a side of alien butt-kicking action–School Library Journal
TIME STOPPERS THE MIDDLE GRADE SERIES OF AWESOME
And finally, I made a little video for my TIME STOPPERS books.
Time Stoppers’s third book comes out this summer. It’s been called a cross between Harry Potter and Percy Jackson, but with heart. It takes place in Acadia National Park in Bar Harbor, Maine. I need to think of awesome ways to promote it because this little book series is the book series of my own middle grade heart. Plus, I wrote it for the Emster. Plus, it is fun
