Writers! Eat your Coffee in Brownie Form Recipe!

Vegan friends, this has eggs.

Print Recipe
WRITERS! EAT YOUR COFFEE, BROWNIES!
coffee in brownies
Cuisine american
Prep Time 15 minutes
Cook Time 45 minutes
Passive Time 45 minutes
Servings
Ingredients
Cuisine american
Prep Time 15 minutes
Cook Time 45 minutes
Passive Time 45 minutes
Servings
Ingredients
coffee in brownies
Instructions
  1. Turn the oven on to 350°. Not in a sexy way. Just set it to that temperature. Realize you need coffee.
  2. Dump the kitten out of your big bowl. Replace her with all the ingredients. Combine it. Wish you had coffee.
  3. Think about the writer Honore de Balzac who allegedly drank 50 cups of coffee a day! He would even eat the grounds to get caffeinated more quickly.
  4. Feel badly for him.
  5. Although, to be fair, people ARE still talking about him hundreds of years later.
  6. Coat a 9x9 or 8x8 baking dish with cooking spray.
  7. Pour batter into the dish. Think more about coffee. Go make some. It worked for de Balzac.
  8. Bake 40 to 45 minutes. That brownie center should be slightly firm. No mushy middles for our manuscripts or our brownies, writers!
  9. Think more about coffee. Make another cup. Smell the brownies.
  10. Cool to room temperature. DO NOT SNORT OR INGEST the hot brownies! Do not do a de Balzac! Have patience, writer friend. No burnt mouths and noses here.
Recipe Notes

This recipe is adapted from Billy Parisi's and Billy's is much more easy to follow! He also has beautiful photos on his website so you should check it out! 

 

Man Verdict: Please marry me again.

Dogs Verdict: People can also marry their dogs, you know.

My Verdict: I love all things. I love all things brownie. I will marry you all.


Gabby’s Thought for the Day

Humans,

You were given your dreams.

Make them true. You can do this.

Also, totally feel free to squint at your Thursdays. Thursdays can be like that. But don’t let Thursday stomp down you or your dream.

Gabby Dog

Big News!

I’m about to publish a super cool adult novel. Gasp! I know! Adult! That’s so …. grown-up?

Rosie Jones, small town reporter and single mom, is looking forward to her first quiet Maine winter with her young daughter, Lily. After a disastrous first marriage, she’s made a whole new life and new identities for her and her little girl. Rosie is more than ready for a winter of cookies, sledding, stories about planning board meetings, and trying not to fall in like with the local police sergeant, Seamus Kelley.

But after her car is tampered with and crashes into Sgt. Kelley’s cruiser during a blizzard, her quiet new world spirals out of control and back into the danger she thought she’d left behind. One of her new friends is murdered. She herself has been poisoned and she finds a list of anagrams on her dead friend’s floor. 

As the killer strikes again, it’s obvious that the women of Bar Harbor aren’t safe. Despite the blizzard and her struggle to keep her new identity a secret, Rosie sets out to make sure no more women die. With the help of the handsome but injured Sgt. Kelley and the town’s firefighters, it’s up to Rosie to stop the murderer before he strikes again.

You can preorder it here. Please, please, preorder it. 

DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE PODCAST

This week’s episode is here and it’s all about how to tell a good story (aloud or on paper).  And https://dogsaresmarterthanpeople.castos.com/player/140325" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" width="100%" height="150">last week’s episode is here and it’s all about how to be happy, Big Foot, and statues that pee, so basically Shaun’s head.

WHERE TO FIND US

The podcast link if you don’t see it above. Plus, it’s everywhere like Apple Music, iTunesStitcherSpotify, and more. Just google, “DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE” then like and subscribe.

LEARN WITH ME AT THE WRITING BARN!

The Write. Submit. Support. format is designed to embrace all aspects of the literary life. This six-month course will offer structure and support not only to our writing lives but also to the roller coaster ride of submissions: whether that be submitting to agents or, if agented, weathering the submissions to editors. We will discuss passes that come in, submissions requests, feedback we aren’t sure about, where we are feeling directed to go in our writing lives, and more. Learn more here! 

“Carrie’s feedback is specific, insightful and extremely helpful. She is truly invested in helping each of us move forward to make our manuscripts the best they can be.”

“Carrie just happens to be one of those rare cases of extreme talent and excellent coaching.”


IN THE WOODS – READ AN EXCERPT, ORDER NOW!

My new book, IN THE WOODS, is out!

Gasp!

It’s with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed!

Order this bad boy, which might make it have a sequel. The sequel would be amazing. Believe me, I know. It features caves and monsters and love. Because doesn’t every story?

In the Woods
In the Woods

ART NEWS

Becoming

Buy limited-edition prints and learn more about my art here on my site. 

Writers! Eat Your Coffee in Brownie Form Recipe!

This recipe is adapted from Billy Parisi’s and Billy’s is much more easy to follow! He also has beautiful photos on his website so you should check it out! 

Print Recipe
WRITERS! EAT YOUR COFFEE, BROWNIES!
coffee in brownies
Cuisine american
Prep Time 15 minutes
Cook Time 45 minutes
Passive Time 45 minutes
Servings
Ingredients
Cuisine american
Prep Time 15 minutes
Cook Time 45 minutes
Passive Time 45 minutes
Servings
Ingredients
coffee in brownies
Instructions
  1. Turn the oven on to 350°. Not in a sexy way. Just set it to that temperature. Realize you need coffee.
  2. Dump the kitten out of your big bowl. Replace her with all the ingredients. Combine it. Wish you had coffee.
  3. Think about the writer Honore de Balzac who allegedly drank 50 cups of coffee a day! He would even eat the grounds to get caffeinated more quickly.
  4. Feel badly for him.
  5. Although, to be fair, people ARE still talking about him hundreds of years later.
  6. Coat a 9x9 or 8x8 baking dish with cooking spray.
  7. Pour batter into the dish. Think more about coffee. Go make some. It worked for de Balzac.
  8. Bake 40 to 45 minutes. That brownie center should be slightly firm. No mushy middles for our manuscripts or our brownies, writers!
  9. Think more about coffee. Make another cup. Smell the brownies.
  10. Cool to room temperature. DO NOT SNORT OR INGEST the hot brownies! Do not do a de Balzac! Have patience, writer friend. No burnt mouths and noses here.
Recipe Notes

This recipe is adapted from Billy Parisi's and Billy's is much more easy to follow! He also has beautiful photos on his website so you should check it out! 

 

Cooking With A Writer – Butter My Biscuits Recipe

Okay. Cough. We had a bit of hiatus here on Cooking With a Writer mostly because I lived in a camper all summer while we rented out our house to make cash.

Not a good excuse, I know!

This wonderful recipe was adapted from Serious Eats and Stella Parks. She is a genius and has a much easier to follow version and all sorts of good stuff. You should check them out and also eat biscuits

Print Recipe
Biscuits Without Buttermilk, Baby
Butter my biscuits recipe
Cuisine southern, vegetarian
Servings
Ingredients
Cuisine southern, vegetarian
Servings
Ingredients
Butter my biscuits recipe
Instructions
  1. Okay, writers. Are you ready? You can do this.
  2. Find your oven. Put the rack to the second lowest place it can be in the oven. Close the door. Turn the oven onto 400-degrees Fahrenheit. Think about the word Fahrenheit. Darn that is such a fun word.
  3. Say it a few times for fun, "Fahrenheit. Fahrenheit. Fahrenheit." Start singing it.
  4. Continue singing as you sift flour into a bowl. While you add sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt, turn that chant into a song. Give it a Billie Eilish vibe as you whisk for about 1 minute.
  5. Realize you should not write Russian-sized novels and should be a songwriter instead. That would be cool, right?
  6. Imagine accepting your Grammy for songwriting as you add the butter.
  7. Smash the butter cubes. Make them flat. Do not make your song flat, that would be depressing.
  8. Rub and smash and mix that butter until it has almost completely disappeared - like your dreams of a Pulitzer. It's okay. You have Grammy dreams now.
  9. Get the yogurt out of the fridge and add it. Let the flour take it into its mix. Does it look dry? DO NOT STRESS. Mix it until it all comes together like a really tight band singing your Fahrenheit song.
  10. Is it kind of a ball now? Good. Put it on a surface that you've sprinkled some flour on.
  11. Sing.
  12. Make that dough kind of square. Make it 1/2 inch thick. Sing more. Fold the square in half. Fold it two more times. Pat it like you're patting the bunny and that bunny is now only ¾ inch thick. Cut those babies into 1 3/4-inch circles.
  13. THINK OF A BISCUIT SONG! That could be your second hit. Decide to call it, "Butter my Biscuit as you put the dough circles in a 10-inch cast iron skillet.
  14. Put it in the oven for 20 minutes. Rest for 5 minutes. During that time go buy songwriting software even though you were too cheap to buy buttermilk, you writing dork, you. Enjoy the carbs!
Recipe Notes

This wonderful recipe was adapted from Serious Eats and Stella Parks, who is a genius and has a much easier to follow version and all sorts of good stuff. You should check them out and also eat biscuits

Shaun Verdict:

This is not a main meal, but it’s delicious.

Dogs’ Verdict:

YUM! MORE!

Carrie Verdict:

I love carbs.

WRITING NEWS

THE NETHERLANDS IS AWESOME

Steve Wedel and I wrote a super creepy book a few years back called After Obsession and it’s making a big freaking splash in the amazing Netherlands thanks to Dutch Venture Publishing and its leader Jen Minkman. 

Check out this spread in a Dutch magazine. I met a whole bunch of Dutch readers last Friday and let me tell you? They are the best. 

LEARN WITH ME AT THE WRITING BARN! 

The Write. Submit. Support. format is designed to embrace all aspects of the literary life. This six-month course will offer structure and support not only to our writing lives but also to the roller coaster ride of submissions: whether that be submitting to agents or, if agented, weathering the submissions to editors. We will discuss passes that come in, submissions requests, feedback we aren’t sure about, where we are feeling directed to go in our writing lives, and more. Learn more here! 

“Carrie’s feedback is specific, insightful and extremely helpful. She is truly invested in helping each of us move forward to make our manuscripts the best they can be.”

“Carrie just happens to be one of those rare cases of extreme talent and excellent coaching.”

IN THE WOODS – READ AN EXCERPT, ORDER NOW!

My new book, IN THE WOODS, is out!

Gasp! 

It’s with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed! 

You can order this bad boy, which might make it have a sequel. The sequel would be amazing. Believe me, I know. It features caves and monsters and love. Because doesn’t every story?

In the Woods
In the Woods


ART NEWS

You can buy limited-edition prints and learn more about my art here on my site. 

PATREON OF AWESOME

You can get exclusive content, early podcasts, videos, art and listen (or read) never-to-be-officially published writings of Carrie on her Patreon. Levels go from $1 to $100 (That one includes writing coaching and editing for you wealthy peeps). 

Check it out here. 

WHAT IS PATREON? 

A lot of you might be new to Patreon and not get how it works. That’s totally cool. New things can be scary, but there’s a cool primer HERE that explains how it works. The short of it is this: You give Patreon your paypal or credit card # and they charge you whatever you level you choose at the end of each month. That money supports me sharing my writing and art and podcasts and weirdness with you. 

THIS WEEK’s podcast

Grilled Potatoes with Cheese


Print Recipe


Grilled Potatoes With Cheese

This is for one Carrie or four people

Cuisine american, vegetarian

Prep Time 20 minutes
Cook Time 75 minutes
Passive Time 30 minutes

Servings
Carrie


Ingredients

Cuisine american, vegetarian

Prep Time 20 minutes
Cook Time 75 minutes
Passive Time 30 minutes

Servings
Carrie


Ingredients


Instructions
  1. Put the grill on high

  2. Cut those potatoes into 12 slices, but don't cut all the way through like a critic's opinion of your new book.

  3. Put those potatoes on a plate and cheat. Think of it as giving yourself a little boost. Drink some wine. Put the potato plate in the microwave and nuke them for five minutes.

  4. Think that your next book should feature potatoes, microwaves, and wine.

  5. Celebrate yourself and your idea.

  6. Get aluminum foil and tear it into four big pieces of awesome. Think of each piece as a happy section of your book. Vow to write your next book in sections as you put a potato on the center of each piece of aluminum foil.

  7. Brush the garlic and butter in between the potato slices. DO NOT THINK OF THESE HOLES AS PLOT HOLES! Do not realize suddenly that there are plot holes in your book that just came out today. There aren't. You are just being neurotic, writer!

  8. Step away from your cell phone. Do not call anyone. Big breaths. Focus on potatoes.

  9. Encase those potatoes in the foil so they are all tightly closed in. Look at that! It's a nicely tight plot. No holes! See? Aren't you glad you didn't call or email or panic or anything?

  10. Cook 30 minutes.

  11. Take the potatoes off the grill. Be careful. Open up the packages and put pieces of cheese in between the slices. Your potato will not adhere to itself like a beautiful book narrative.

  12. Wrap them back up.

  13. Put them back on the grill for another five minutes or so.

  14. Celebrate. You've created something great! Season that greatness if you feel like it.

COOKING WITH A WRITER – Black Bean Soup of the Soul

It’s a cooking blog redone. Why? Because I’ve been working for over 12 hours and I’m not done.

Yes, folks. I’m dialing it in. My apologies!

 

So, I am a bit down lately, mostly because:

  1. I am a writer
  2. I live in the U.S.
  3. Politics

I gave up and am giving you all this – the Black Bean Soup that Reflects the State of My Inner Soul Right This Second Because I am DIRE.

Yeah.

 

Black Bean Soup Because The World Sucks

 

Sometimes the world sucks and you need a dark soup to match your feelings. Am I right? 

This is a new version of a black bean soup I wrote about before. You can never have enough black bean soup recipes. Can you?

 

  • 3 tbsp olive or vegetable oil
  • 2 whole onions (chopped)
  • 6 whole garlic cloves (chopped/pressed)
  • 3 ribs celery (chopped)
  • 1 whole carrot (chopped)
  • 5 tsp cumin
  • .5 tsp red pepper flakes or hot sauce (to taste really)
  • 60 oz black beans (canned, drained)
  • 2 tsp lime juice
  • .5 cup cilantro (optional, to taste)
  1. Heatolive oil in soup pot over medium heat. 

    Stare at it until it shimmers. 

    Remember when you used to shimmer.

    Sigh dramatically.

    Throw in the onions, celery and carrot.

    Sigh again because honestly? What is the point.

    Put in salt, blood pressure be damned.  

  2. Stir once in awhile. Eventually the vegetable will get soft.

    “Eventually” is 10 to 15 minutes. This is a much shorter ‘eventually’ than when waiting for your editor to return your email. But whatever. 

  3. Add in the smelly things –  garlic, cumin and red pepper flakes.

    Wonder if you’re a smelly thing? When did you last bathe? Was it before 2018? Join the club.

    Cook until things smell more than you do  – 30 seconds. 

  4. It’s time for the dark soul part of this soup. You are miserable, aren’t you? Yes, writer you are. 

    Add beans. Add broth.

    Put the heat on medium high and watch it simmer. Reduce it so it only simmers gently. If only YOU were simmering gently, but honestly? The state of the world makes you SIMMER INTO ROARING, doesn’t it? Yes. Yes. It does.

    Soup is not you though. So simmer GENTLY for 30 minutes, or else it will boil over and stick to the pot and believe me, you do not have the emotional reserves to deal with that mess. 

  5. Put about 4 cups into a blender (make sure not to overload your blender because it is hot and you will get burned and you probably don’t have the medical insurance to deal with that if you are an American writer). 

    Blend carefully.

    You can also use a hot-pink immersion blender if you are tired of the darkness of this soup, your soul, and this world. 

    JUST BE CAREFUL! 

  6. Put the blended stuff back in the soup pot. Mix. Add in  cilantro, lime juice, salt and pepper.

    Sigh.

    Eat it.

    Sigh more. 

 

Man Verdict – It tastes sad.

Dog Verdict – Isn’t this not good for dogs? 

My Verdict – Yep. Uh-huh. 

 

 

WRITING NEWS

ENHANCED, the follow-up to FLYING is here! And the books are out of this world. Please buy them and support a writer.

31702754 copy

The last TIME STOPPERS BOOK is out and I love it. You should buy it because it’s empowering and about friendship and bias and magic. Plus, dragons and elves.

Timestoppers3_005

How to Get Signed Copies: 

If you would like to purchase signed copies of my books, you can do so through the awesome Sherman’s Book Store in Bar Harbor, Maine or the amazing Briar Patch. The books are also available online at places like Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

For signed copies – email barharbor@shermans.com for Sherman’s or email info@briarpatchbooks.comand let them know the titles in which you are interested. There’s sometimes a waiting list, but they are the best option. Plus, you’re supporting an adorable local bookstore run by some really wonderful humans. But here’s the Amazon link, too!

Art Stuff

You can buy prints of my art here. Thank you so much for supporting my books and me and each other. I hope you have an amazing day.

A new episode of Dogs are Smarter Than People, the quirky podcast with writing tips, life tips and a random thought came out yesterday! Check it out, like and subscribe!

Red Curry Rice of 197,000-Word Picture Books

This week, we enter a place called revision, which is many authors’ vision of real-life hell. Since I was told to rot in hell earlier this week, it seems an appropriate place to venture.

Print Recipe
Red Curry Rice of Revision Hell
This recipe is adapted from the fantastic Cookie and Kate
Cuisine vegetarian
Servings
people
Ingredients
Cuisine vegetarian
Servings
people
Ingredients
Instructions
  1. Cook that jasmine rice. Worry that it isn't the right rice. Worry you aren't the right writer to cook it. Boil it in a pot of water for 30 minutes. Don't let it overflow like your 197,000-word picture book about anarchy.
  2. Drain. Put it back in the pot. Let it rest for 10 minutes or more. Fluff it up when it's time. All works need a good fluffer.
  3. Wonder how you can possibly chop 196,000 words out of your brilliant picture book so that it's the appropriate publishing-industry 'approved' length. Sob as you put a big skillet on medium heat.
  4. When it's hot, add the oil. Wonder if you can even judge this if you can't manage to cut a mere five words out of your picture book, the ABC's of ANARCHY.
  5. Throw in the onion, some salt. Stir a lot. Stir for 5 minutes. Cry. Why do no publishers understand that children under three are indeed ready for your picture book and can read things that long and sustain attention.
  6. Add garlic, ginger, cook 30 seconds. Continue stirring.
  7. All you do is stir.
  8. The man is making you stir, isn't he? He also created those picture book rules.
  9. To heck with the man. You'll self publish it. You don't need to cut or revise. You don't need the man.
  10. Put the peppers and carrots in. Cook for 5 minutes. Add curry past. Cook for two minutes
  11. Feel happy that you don't have to revise.
  12. Keep adding on words. I mean ingredients. Add kale, water, coconut milk, sugar. Keep stirring. Make it simmer and then lower that heat to keep it gentle but not too harsh. Just like the voice in your picture book. This should take between 5-10 minutes. You get to decide when it's ready. LOOK AT THAT POWER! Feel powerful. You are in charge of your destiny!
  13. Take it off the stove. Add soy sauce and juice. Add salt. If it's too mellow add more soy sauce. Serve it with that fluffy rice and rejoice!

Man Verdict

Love it.

Dog Verdict

Curry and dogs do not mix. May we please have bones?

Carrie Verdict

Curry paste makes me happy to be in hell.


Writing News

IN THE WOODS – READ AN EXCERPT, PREORDER NOW!

My next book, IN THE WOODS, appears in July with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed! 

You can preorder this bad boy, which might make it have a sequel. The sequel would be amazing. Believe me, I know. It features caves and monsters and love. Because doesn’t every story?

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is b5314ed645a47991655395d180f52f5c.jpg

HEAR MY BOOK BABY (AND MORE) ON PATREON

On February first, I launched my Patreon site where I’m reading chapters (in order) of a never-published teen fantasy novel, releasing deleted scenes and art from some of my more popular books. And so much more. Come hang out with me! Get cool things! 

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is The-Last-Gods-3.jpg

WHAT IS PATREON? 

A lot of you might be new to Patreon and not get how it works. That’s totally cool. New things can be scary, but there’s a cool primer HERE that explains how it works. The short of it is this: You give Patreon your paypal or credit card # and they charge you whatever you level you choose at the end of each month. That money supports me sharing my writing and art and podcasts and weirdness with you. 

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is Superheroes-7-1.jpg


HELP US AND DO AN AWESOME GOOD DEED

Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness on the DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE podcast as we talk about random thoughts, writing advice and life tips. We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of. Please share it and subscribe if you can. Please rate and like us if you are feeling kind, because it matters somehow. There’s a new episode every Tuesday!

ART

Image

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is IMG_0393-2.jpeg

You can buy some of my art. I paint to help inform my stories and some of the prints are available now. There will be more soon. You can check it out here. 




Red Curry Rice of Revision Hell


Print Recipe


Red Curry Rice of Revision Hell

This recipe is adapted from the fantastic Cookie and Kate

Cuisine vegetarian

Servings
people


Ingredients

Cuisine vegetarian

Servings
people


Ingredients


Instructions
  1. Cook that jasmine rice. Worry that it isn't the right rice. Worry you aren't the right writer to cook it. Boil it in a pot of water for 30 minutes. Don't let it overflow like your 197,000-word picture book about anarchy.

  2. Drain. Put it back in the pot. Let it rest for 10 minutes or more. Fluff it up when it's time. All works need a good fluffer.

  3. Wonder how you can possibly chop 196,000 words out of your brilliant picture book so that it's the appropriate publishing-industry 'approved' length. Sob as you put a big skillet on medium heat.

  4. When it's hot, add the oil.

    Wonder if you can even judge this if you can't manage to cut a mere five words out of your picture book, the ABC's of ANARCHY.

  5. Throw in the onion, some salt. Stir a lot. Stir for 5 minutes. Cry. Why do no publishers understand that children under three are indeed ready for your picture book and can read things that long and sustain attention.

  6. Add garlic, ginger, cook 30 seconds. Continue stirring.

  7. All you do is stir.

  8. The man is making you stir, isn't he? He also created those picture book rules.

  9. To heck with the man. You'll self publish it. You don't need to cut or revise. You don't need the man.

  10. Put the peppers and carrots in. Cook for 5 minutes. Add curry past. Cook for two minutes

  11. Feel happy that you don't have to revise.

  12. Keep adding on words. I mean ingredients. Add kale, water, coconut milk, sugar.

    Keep stirring.

    Make it simmer and then lower that heat to keep it gentle but not too harsh. Just like the voice in your picture book. This should take between 5-10 minutes. You get to decide when it's ready. LOOK AT THAT POWER! Feel powerful. You are in charge of your destiny!

  13. Take it off the stove. Add soy sauce and juice. Add salt. If it's too mellow add more soy sauce. Serve it with that fluffy rice and rejoice!

What the Hummus is in that Quesadilla?

Print Recipe
What the Hummus is in that Quesadilla?
This is from the fantastic blog, Cookie and Kate (of awesome).
What the Hummus is in that Quesadilla? Hummus Quesadilla recipe from Cooking with a Writer, vegetarian recipes with a weird twist.
Cuisine american
Prep Time 5 minutes
Cook Time 8 minutes
Servings
normal people
Cuisine american
Prep Time 5 minutes
Cook Time 8 minutes
Servings
normal people
What the Hummus is in that Quesadilla? Hummus Quesadilla recipe from Cooking with a Writer, vegetarian recipes with a weird twist.
Instructions
  1. Put hummus all over the tortilla. Realize this is so outside of the box. This is like having a hamster and a human fall in love in a YA THRILLER outside the box.
  2. Go for it anyway. Critics be damned.
  3. Spread the rest of the fillings over one half of the tortilla.
  4. Seriously. WHO CARES WHAT PEOPLE THINK! This is the mash-up to end all mash-ups like if you crossed TRUE BLOOD with GO DOG GO.
  5. Fold those tortillas in half. Brush with olive oil.
  6. Heat up a pan on medium. Put the quesadillas in it. Cook for two minutes. Flip. Cook two minutes more. Brush with oil. Flip again until both sides are a pretty golden color.
  7. Dude Should you write a TRUE BLOOD/GO DOG GO mashup? How about a HUNGER GAMES/LOOKING FOR ALASKA mashup?
  8. Eat your quesadilla and realize that sometimes writers brains are weird. Be good with that. Who wants to be normal?

So, I’m trying to make the Man in the house eat more vegetarian foods because:

  1. I don’t like killing things.
  2. I want to be healthier.
  3. I don’t like killing things.

This time he thought I was insane. I explained all writers are insane.

Man Verdict:

I miss meat.

My Verdict:

This is delicious.

Dog Verdict:

Where the heck is the cheese?

WRITING NEWS

IN THE WOODS – READ AN EXCERPT, PREORDER NOW!

My next book, IN THE WOODS, appears in July with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed! 

You can preorder this bad boy, which might make it have a sequel. The sequel would be amazing. Believe me, I know. It features caves and monsters and love. Because doesn’t every story?

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is b5314ed645a47991655395d180f52f5c.jpg

HEAR MY BOOK BABY (AND MORE) ON PATREON

On February first, I launched my Patreon site where I’m reading chapters (in order) of a never-published teen fantasy novel, releasing deleted scenes and art from some of my more popular books. And so much more. Come hang out with me! Get cool things! 

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is The-Last-Gods-3.jpg

WHAT IS PATREON? 

A lot of you might be new to Patreon and not get how it works. That’s totally cool. New things can be scary, but there’s a cool primer HERE that explains how it works. The short of it is this: You give Patreon your paypal or credit card # and they charge you whatever you level you choose at the end of each month. That money supports me sharing my writing and art and podcasts and weirdness with you. Image

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is Superheroes-7-1.jpg


HELP US AND DO AN AWESOME GOOD DEED

Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness on the DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE podcast as we talk about random thoughts, writing advice and life tips. We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of. Please share it and subscribe if you can. Please rate and like us if you are feeling kind, because it matters somehow. There’s a new episode every Tuesday!

ART

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You can buy some of my art. I paint to help inform my stories and some of the prints are available now. There will be more soon. You can check it out here. 

It’s the raspberry pie of courage and quotes and Ted Talks

First off, I apologize because WordPress is not letting me put the ´ above the e in Brene Brown’s name.

Print Recipe
Raspberry Pie of Bravery
This is adapted from the great HORN OF THE MOON COOKBOOK by Ginny Callan
raspberry pie of courage and quotes
Cuisine american, vegetarian
Prep Time 10 minutes
Cook Time 40 minutes
Passive Time 2 hours
Servings
humans
Ingredients
Cuisine american, vegetarian
Prep Time 10 minutes
Cook Time 40 minutes
Passive Time 2 hours
Servings
humans
Ingredients
raspberry pie of courage and quotes
Instructions
  1. Put the oven on 375-degrees Fahrenheit
  2. Think about Brene Brown and how she is telling you that you always have to take risks. Making this damn pie is taking a risk because raspberries are so damn expensive.
  3. Feel powerful for taking a risk.
  4. Oh damn. Honey is expensive too. Pretend you are not a starving writer, but a bad-a** woman with a six-figure book deal, a Brene Brown of writers selling your ideas about courage to other writers and you can totally afford honey and raspberries, damn it.
  5. Put the expensive honey, flour, and cream all in a bowl and beat them there until your dreams come true and you are this writer. No, actually just beat it until there are no lumps.
  6. Now, be gentle writers. Pretend the expensive raspberries are your creations, your book babies, and you want to gentle stir them into this mixture, which represents the book buying public aka readers.
  7. Pour it all into the pie crust.
  8. Pray that it will be good and not a sad, little mess. Channel your inner Brene Brown and repeat for 40 minutes, "Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen."
  9. Once 40 minutes is over , take the pie out. It looks good, doesn't it? Look at you, brave one! Taking the risks. Leaving courage via story and honey and raspberries and other expensive ingredients.
  10. Refrigerate it for 2 hours and go watch TED Talks by B. Brown.

Man Verdict: SUGAR! SUGAR IS GOOD!

Me: Actually, it’s honey.

Man: Isn’t that expensive?

Dog Verdict: This is delicious and almost as expensive as our dog food!

Writing News

From April 23-27 NEED and TIME STOPPERS ebooks are on sale on Nook. Please go buy one. They’re only $1.99 and $.99, which is so cheap that even I can afford them.

Time Stoppers Middle Grade Fantasy Series by Carrie Jones
Time Stoppers Front and Back Covers – US versions

IN THE WOODS – READ AN EXCERPT, PREORDER NOW!

My next book, IN THE WOODS, appears in July with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed! 

You can preorder this bad boy, which might make it have a sequel. The sequel would be amazing. Believe me, I know. It features caves and monsters and love. Because doesn’t every story?

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is b5314ed645a47991655395d180f52f5c.jpg

HEAR MY BOOK BABY (AND MORE) ON PATREON

On February first, I launched my Patreon site where I’m reading chapters (in order) of a never-published teen fantasy novel, releasing deleted scenes and art from some of my more popular books. And so much more. Come hang out with me! Get cool things! 

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is The-Last-Gods-3.jpg

WHAT IS PATREON? 

A lot of you might be new to Patreon and not get how it works. That’s totally cool. New things can be scary, but there’s a cool primer HERE that explains how it works. The short of it is this: You give Patreon your paypal or credit card # and they charge you whatever you level you choose at the end of each month. That money supports me sharing my writing and art and podcasts and weirdness with you. 

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HELP US AND DO AN AWESOME GOOD DEED

Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness on the DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE podcast as we talk about random thoughts, writing advice and life tips. We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of. Please share it and subscribe if you can. Please rate and like us if you are feeling kind, because it matters somehow. There’s a new episode every Tuesday!

ART

You can buy some of my art. I paint to help inform my stories and some of the prints are available now. There will be more soon. You can check it out here. 

TIPS ON MAKING DEVILED EGGS – Cooking With a Writer

Okay. I’m still talking about deviled eggs because? Well, you’ll see.

Tips on Making Deviled Eggs

1. Here’s a hint: They are called devilled eggs for a reason.


2. And, no, it is not because of the little hint of jalepeno that gives them a kick.


3. It’s because you have to HARD BOIL the little suckers first, and there are all these rules about boiling them. 


Yes, rules about boiling an egg. 


4. Boiling an egg should be simple.


5. It isn’t. 


6. It really isn’t simple if you get distracted by the fact that the 90-second rice pouch you put in the microwave just exploded.


7. But this is about eggs, not exploding rice pouches.


8. So, if you manage to boil the egg, then plunge the poor thing in cold, cold water, you must then PEEL THE EGG!


9. Eggs are not meant to be peeled. This is why they are eggs. Not bananas.

10. If you have happy, young fresh eggs they are harder to peel. The old buggers are better. 


11. Be prepared to sacrifice many, many eggs in your egg peeling quest for the perfect egg to devil.


11. Once, eggs are peeled, halved, and stuffed do not be offended when people in house say, “Holy crud. It’s like the egg has acne pits or something.”


12. Do not be offended when people in the house say, “Um? Are you sure this is a devilled egg? Should it be all wobbly like this? And gooey? It’s kind of gooey.”


13. Do not be offended when people in the house say, “Next time, can we just buy the premade kind in the grocery store.”


14. And do not have hurt feelings when they do not celebrate with you because you keep saying, “But look at the yolk. It isn’t green. That’s a big achievement, not to have green yolks.”


15. Do not throw eggs at them.


16. Or men in banana suits.


17 Just accept that you are not a gifted devilled egg maker. We can not be gifted in all things eggy. You are a good scrambler. Be happy with this.

WRITING AND OTHER NEWS

IN THE WOODS – READ AN EXCERPT, PREORDER NOW!

My next book, IN THE WOODS, appears in July with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed! 

You can preorder this bad boy, which might make it have a sequel. The sequel would be amazing. Believe me, I know. It features caves and monsters and love. Because doesn’t every story?

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is b5314ed645a47991655395d180f52f5c.jpg

HEAR MY BOOK BABY (AND MORE) ON PATREON

On February first, I launched my Patreon site where I’m reading chapters (in order) of a never-published teen fantasy novel, releasing deleted scenes and art from some of my more popular books. And so much more. Come hang out with me! Get cool things! 

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is The-Last-Gods-3.jpg

WHAT IS PATREON? 

A lot of you might be new to Patreon and not get how it works. That’s totally cool. New things can be scary, but there’s a cool primer HERE that explains how it works. The short of it is this: You give Patreon your paypal or credit card # and they charge you whatever you level you choose at the end of each month. That money supports me sharing my writing and art and podcasts and weirdness with you. 

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is Superheroes-7-1.jpg