If you know me, you know that I have a tendency to say things that have sexual connotations without realizing it until it’s far too late.
And to make it worse, once I realize that I’ve accidentally said something naughty? My whole face breaks into an OMG expression. My eyes get big. My eyebrows are so ashamed they try to hide in my hairline and my mouth usually gapes open.
Keep that in mind.
My publisher once sent me to Toronto because one of my books was up for a big teen book award for best kiss, I think.
So, when I disembarked the airplane in Canada (after the lady in 7A got in trouble) I had to go through Customs, where I embarrassed myself in front of the very attractive man who looked a lot like him:
How did I do this? How did I humiliate myself in front of he who shall now be known as Very Attractive Customs Man?
Well, when you enter Canada, the Very Attractive Customs Man will look at you, look at your passport, look at you again, and say, “Why are you entering Canada?”
And if you are me, you will try to remember the three categories on the sheet that you can check off, which are something like:
3. Something Else that I can’t remember because I have lost too many brain cells
And if you are me, you will be nervous for absolutely no reason and blurt out, “Pleasure.”
Pleasure, my friends, is not on the list.
I think that maybe I blurted this out because I couldn’t remember the word “leisure.”
And if you are me, this word will make you conjure up images such as this:
And if you are me, you will get the Horrified Carrie Face and stare at Very Attractive Customs Man and go, “Oh! Oh no! Oh my gosh! That sounds so naughty, doesn’t it? I swear it’s not like that! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! ”
And if you are me, Very Attractive Customs Man will stare back at you blankly for three seconds and then he will start laughing uncontrollably. He will start laughing so hard that he will bend over at the waist and HOLD HIS STOMACH!
And if you are me you will stand there and turn red.
This is proof that you can be an author and still be a total dork. So fellow dorks, take heart, you can still have your dreams even if the execution of those dreams becomes terribly, terribly embarrassing.
ALSO I HAVE A NEW BOOK COMING OUT!
It’s super fun. An adult paranormal/mystery/romance/horror blend. Think Charlaine Harris but without all the vampires. Instead there are shifters and dragon grandmothers and evil police chiefs and potential necromancers and the occasional zombie.
It’s out November 1, which means the pre-orders are up now, and I seriously love it. So, it would be cool if you bought it so I can be all motivated to write the next book.
Oh, and it’s quirky.
This is because most of my books are quirky.
Be ready to resurrect your love of the paranormal in the first novel in the Alisa Thea series—the books that give new meaning to quirky paranormal.
Alisa Thea is barely scraping by as a landscaper in small-town Bar Harbor. She can’t touch people with her bare skin without seeing their deaths and passing out, which limits her job and friendship opportunities. It also doesn’t give much of a possibility for a love life, nor does her overbearing stepfather, the town’s sheriff. Then along comes an opportunity at a local campground where she thinks her need for a home and job are finally solved . . .
But the campground and its quirky residents have secrets of their own: the upper level is full of paranormals. And when some horrifying murders hit the campground—along with a potential boyfriend from her past who may be involved—Alisa starts to wonder if living in a campground of paranormals will end up in her own death.
Join New York Times and internationally best[selling author Carrie Jones in the first book of the Alisa Thea Series as it combines the excitement of a thriller with the first-hand immediacy and quirky heroines that Jones is known for.
It’s fun. It’s weird. It’s kind of like Charlaine Harris, but a little bit more achy and weird.
The third book in Rosie and Seamus’s story of adventure, mystery, and death is here!
Sometimes the treasure is not worth the hunt . . . .
When a little boy goes missing on a large Maine island, the community is horrified especially almost-lovers Rosie Jones and Sergeant Seamus Kelley. The duo’s dealt with two gruesome serial killers during their short time together and are finally ready to focus on their romance despite their past history of murders and torment.
Things seem like they’ve gone terribly wrong. Again. Rosie wakes up in the middle of the woods. Is she sleepwalking or is something more sinister going on?
What at first seems like a fun treasure hunt soon turns into something much more terrifying . . . and they learn that things are not yet safe on their island or in their world. If they want to keep more people from going missing, Rosie and Seamus have to crack the puzzle before it’s too late.
To buy it, click here, and let me know! I might send you something!