Poop Styles

The Dressing Room – They have to get comfortable to poop, they take their shirt off and possibly their shoes too if the conditions are right.

best writing podcasts best writing coaches

Once a week my husband, Shaun, takes over the blog. As you can see, I give the guy full reign.

I got here in a really convoluted way, but damn it, I just realized that you should love your life and embrace what you have! Ignore the caveats please, I mean if you are dying or you have recently lost or are about to lose a loved one or good friend, I am not speaking to you right now. I have the greatest of empathy for you and it is indeed a fact that I cannot even think about such things without at least tearing up. I am at this exact moment teary eyed just from writing that.

You can ask Carrie, just the slightest thought of family members passing brings me into a state of severe sadness.

Having to Poop

But the rest of us snivelers need to get a grip and realize that life is amazing and it doesn’t matter if we have a little or a lot, we have life and we have love! The story of how I came to this particular spot may bring a bit of levity to something that I didn’t intend to get so heavy so quickly. I was sitting here getting ready to type and I said to Carrie, who is sitting behind me as usual, “How am I supposed to write a blog post when I have to poop?”

Carrie’s response was “Write about not being able to poop.”

Hmm, I thought, that could be fun, could be gross, I guess it depends on your outlook on pooping and/or your maturity level. But I did, didn’t I? I stooped so low as to write about not being able to poop and for that, you deserve some backstory.

I am a pooper! I never have problems using the bathroom in that manner and have built up a pretty regular routine as of late. But then, about two days ago, it all came to a screeching halt. I have been in the bathroom a number of times after feeling that feeling that you get when you have to evacuate some of your intake, but there has been no production. It isn’t so bad, it doesn’t hurt or anything, it just feels weird because now it is an almost constant feeling of having to go and that is getting a tiny bit annoying.

Speaking of poopers, have you ever thought about how people have different pooping styles? I just did and I am going to share with you some styles that I have observed amongst my family and friends.

Shaun’s Poop Styles

The Speed Demon – They act like bodily functions in the bathroom are horrific and are in and out so fast that it may not have even occurred, or that is what they want you to think, they never poop.

The Dressing Room – They have to get comfortable to poop, they take their shirt off and possibly their shoes too if the conditions are right.

The Gamer/Graphic Artist – They may be in the bathroom for hours, but when they emerge they have conquered a new game level or created a new animated masterpiece.

The Rater – They send you text messages rating public restrooms on cleanliness, décor, roominess, etc.

The Escape Artist – They may not even have to poop but they will pretend they do just so that they can escape the stress of their everyday lives.

The Announcer – They tell you the end result, either when they are done and out or during the process via text or verbal announcement. “Phew, I pity the poor person that has to come in here next!” Or “Wow, that came out fast and furious!”

The Gambler – They ignore the signals that their body is sending them for as long as possible and will then suddenly disappear. When they reappear with no explanation of where they went they will usually say something like “Man, that was a close one!”

Don’t Wallow in the Poop

Alright, that is enough background and distraction from my main and original point. Don’t wallow in self-pity when you have so many things to be thankful for! The good may be tiny or it may be huge but your life is great. Take the time to think about how much worse it could be and then take even more time to rejoice, be thankful and happy, and spread love as often as you can! Life is a wonderful adventure, LIVE IT!

As always, Love Your Way Through It!

Shaun

Author: carriejonesbooks

I am the NYT and internationally-bestselling author of children's books, which include the NEED series, FLYING series, TIME STOPPERS series, DEAR BULLY and other books. I like hedgehogs and puppies and warm places. I have none of these things in my life.

One thought on “Poop Styles”

Leave a Reply