Tag: poop

Poop Styles

The Dressing Room – They have to get comfortable to poop, they take their shirt off and possibly their shoes too if the conditions are right.

Once a week my husband, Shaun, takes over the blog. As you can see, I give the guy full reign.

I got here in a really convoluted way, but damn it, I just realized that you should love your life and embrace what you have! Ignore the caveats please, I mean if you are dying or you have recently lost or are about to lose a loved one or good friend, I am not speaking to you right now. I have the greatest of empathy for you and it is indeed a fact that I cannot even think about such things without at least tearing up. I am at this exact moment teary eyed just from writing that.

You can ask Carrie, just the slightest thought of family members passing brings me into a state of severe sadness.

Having to Poop

But the rest of us snivelers need to get a grip and realize that life is amazing and it doesn’t matter if we have a little or a lot, we have life and we have love! The story of how I came to this particular spot may bring a bit of levity to something that I didn’t intend to get so heavy so quickly. I was sitting here getting ready to type and I said to Carrie, who is sitting behind me as usual, “How am I supposed to write a blog post when I have to poop?”

Carrie’s response was “Write about not being able to poop.”

Hmm, I thought, that could be fun, could be gross, I guess it depends on your outlook on pooping and/or your maturity level. But I did, didn’t I? I stooped so low as to write about not being able to poop and for that, you deserve some backstory.

I am a pooper! I never have problems using the bathroom in that manner and have built up a pretty regular routine as of late. But then, about two days ago, it all came to a screeching halt. I have been in the bathroom a number of times after feeling that feeling that you get when you have to evacuate some of your intake, but there has been no production. It isn’t so bad, it doesn’t hurt or anything, it just feels weird because now it is an almost constant feeling of having to go and that is getting a tiny bit annoying.

Speaking of poopers, have you ever thought about how people have different pooping styles? I just did and I am going to share with you some styles that I have observed amongst my family and friends.

Shaun’s Poop Styles

The Speed Demon – They act like bodily functions in the bathroom are horrific and are in and out so fast that it may not have even occurred, or that is what they want you to think, they never poop.

The Dressing Room – They have to get comfortable to poop, they take their shirt off and possibly their shoes too if the conditions are right.

The Gamer/Graphic Artist – They may be in the bathroom for hours, but when they emerge they have conquered a new game level or created a new animated masterpiece.

The Rater – They send you text messages rating public restrooms on cleanliness, décor, roominess, etc.

The Escape Artist – They may not even have to poop but they will pretend they do just so that they can escape the stress of their everyday lives.

The Announcer – They tell you the end result, either when they are done and out or during the process via text or verbal announcement. “Phew, I pity the poor person that has to come in here next!” Or “Wow, that came out fast and furious!”

The Gambler – They ignore the signals that their body is sending them for as long as possible and will then suddenly disappear. When they reappear with no explanation of where they went they will usually say something like “Man, that was a close one!”

Don’t Wallow in the Poop

Alright, that is enough background and distraction from my main and original point. Don’t wallow in self-pity when you have so many things to be thankful for! The good may be tiny or it may be huge but your life is great. Take the time to think about how much worse it could be and then take even more time to rejoice, be thankful and happy, and spread love as often as you can! Life is a wonderful adventure, LIVE IT!

As always, Love Your Way Through It!

Shaun

SHOUT OUT!

The music we’ve clipped and shortened in this podcast is awesome and is made available through the Creative Commons License. 

Here’s a link to that and the artist’s website. Who is this artist and what is this song?  It’s “Summer Spliff” by Broke For Free.

WE HAVE EXTRA CONTENT ALL ABOUT LIVING HAPPY OVER HERE! It’s pretty awesome.

AND we have a writing tips podcast called WRITE BETTER NOW! It’s taking a bit of a hiatus, but there are a ton of tips over there.

We have a podcast, LOVING THE STRANGE, which we stream biweekly live on Carrie’s Facebook and Twitter and YouTube on Fridays. Her Facebook and Twitter handles are all carriejonesbooks or carriejonesbook. But she also has extra cool content focused on writing tips here.

Carrie is reading one of her raw poems every once in awhile on CARRIE DOES POEMS. And there you go! Whew! That’s a lot!

It’s my book! It came out June 1! Boo-yah! Another one comes out July 1.

And that one is called  THOSE WHO SURVIVED, which is the first book in the the DUDE GOODFEATHER series.  I hope you’ll read it, like it, and buy it!

The Dude Goodfeather Series - YA mystery by NYT bestseller Carrie Jones
The Dude Goodfeather Series – YA mystery by NYT bestseller Carrie Jones

TO TELL US YOUR BRAVE STORY JUST EMAIL BELOW.

The Poop And The Magician, Archetypes and You

Dogs Are Smarter Than People: Writing Life, Marriage and Motivation
Dogs Are Smarter Than People: Writing Life, Marriage and Motivation
The Poop And The Magician, Archetypes and You
/

Over the past couple of months, we’ve been talking a lot about archetypes and how you can use them in writing and life, but we’ve failed to discuss where all this talk stems from. 

It’s all from Carl Jung who is an old, dead, psychology pioneer who didn’t agree with another old dead guy, Sigmund Freud. 

Jung was about the ‘collective unconsciousness.’ And he thought that in humanity’s collective unconsciousness there were basically twelve archetypes of character. We define this in our last podcast and this week, we’re finishing up with those twelve archetypes as they relate to finding poop in your driveway because we’re weird like that. 

THE REMAINING ARCHETYPES!

7. The Magician

It’s all about growing and evolving but the crankier magicians are not revolutionaries who lift up others. Instead, they are cranky buttfaces who turn positives into negatives and their attitude is contagious. A magician will see poop in the driveway and potentially think of a way to make it an energy source that will reduce carbon emissions. Or they might just tweet, “Poop in driveway. Angst. Everything completely sucks. What is the point? 

8. The Hero

Ah. Power. The hero likes it. The hero is vital and all about battling for honor or power. They do not like to lose. They do not give up. They find that poop and loft it at the doghouse of the enemy. They tweet a photo of poop smeared, “I protect my own. Consider yourself warned.” 

They then make a neighborhood watch for pooping dogs, create some HOA rules, call the police, and try to control the situation with some outdoor spy cameras. Remember. They do not lose. They like to control situations. They can sometimes be a little too controlling and ambitious. 

9. The Rebel

There is poop in the rebel’s driveway. They probably put it there. They don’t care if people have opinions about this poop. They should all mind their own business and stop pressuring the rebel. 

The rebel does not use social media because social media is all about other people’s opinions and the rebel could care less. Poop is definitely in their driveway and the rebel does not care. 

10. The Lover

Poop? Poop is in the lover’s driveway? But the lover is all about love and loving others and feeling loved and this? This poop is not pleasing. It is not about love. It is a blob of yuck. 

The lover cries and tweets and asks for uplifting sayings and photos. People send memes and photos of their kittens. One comes and takes care of the poop for them. The lover feels #blessed. 

11. The Jester

POOP! OMG! Poop is in the driveway! Hahahahaha! The jester gets the joke. And the joke isn’t just poop. It’s life. Crap happens. You might as well make it funny. 

The jester tweets something terribly lewd about the poop. They get Twitter banned for a day. The next day they do it again and start a 120-day spree of poop tweets. It goes viral. They get a podcast. 

12. The Orphan

Our last one is so sad. It is the orphan. The orphan is already a sad little human who feels like they are basically a walking wound. And here? Here is someone putting poop on their wound. Well, really on their driveway, but it’s kind of the same thing, isn’t it? It’s all about disappointment and betrayal and hurt and pain.

The orphan quickly manipulates all of Twitter into a GoFundMe to help them survive the trauma of the dog poop. They ask someone else to set up and be in charge of this Twitter so they can maintain their innocent brand. 

Since this is the 564th GoFundMe they’ve been a part of in the last four months, they only raise four dollars. The innocent is disappointed that nobody is helping or taking charge of their life. They go out and poop on their driveway themselves again. Maybe this time it will work? The orphan hopes so. 

Writing Tip of the Pod

Be original in your writing. Hook into those archetypes, but don’t have your characters just be an archetype.

Dog Tip For Life

Don’t stop moving. Live your life now while you have one.

SHOUT OUT

The music we’ve clipped and shortened in this podcast is awesome and is made available through the Creative Commons License. Here’s a link to that and the artist’s website. Who is this artist and what is this song?  It’s “Night Owl” by Broke For Free.

Continue reading “The Poop And The Magician, Archetypes and You”

Poop, Hate, Dentists, Flavored Booze and Jungian Archetypes

Dogs Are Smarter Than People: Writing Life, Marriage and Motivation
Dogs Are Smarter Than People: Writing Life, Marriage and Motivation
Poop, Hate, Dentists, Flavored Booze and Jungian Archetypes
/

Over the past couple of months, we’ve been talking a lot about archetypes and how you can use them in writing and life, but we’ve failed to discuss where all this talk stems from. 

It’s all from Carl Jung who is an old, dead, psychology pioneer who didn’t agree with another old dead guy, Sigmund Freud. 

Jung was about the ‘collective unconsciousness.’ And he thought that in humanity’s collective unconsciousness there were basically twelve archetypes of character. It’s like if we are all part of a video game and the programmer only made twelve basic characters. 

According to “Exploring Your Mind,” 

To define his 12 archetypes of personality, Jung studied the symbols and myths of many different cultures. These archetypes represent behavior patterns that make up different ways of being. They’re also cultural symbols and images that exist in the collective unconscious.

He defined the 12 Jungian archetypes as an innate tendency to generate images with intense emotional meaning that express the relational primacy of human life. They’re imprints that are buried in our unconscious. These terms define the particular traits that we all have.

Exploring Your Mind

So here’s the basic rundown of those twelve as related to poop found in the middle of the driveway because how else can you take a new spin on this? Every single psych major has blogged about archetypes. We’re going to do the first six in this podcast and the next six next week. Cool right? It’s like a cliffhanger. 

Let’s start. Get ready for poop talk.

The Sage

It’s all about being smart and thinking. If someone poops, the sage is going to want to examine the poop, analyze the poop, and probably create a witty yet analytical tweet about the poop.

The Innocent

The innocent is optimistic that the poop randomly sitting in the middle of their driveway is meant for good. They will be happy that someone was capable of pooping out in the open like that. They will tweet about the goodness of pleasing others and possibly create a self-help book about poop or at least look for one which they will not download illegally but instead buy from a nice local independent bookstore. They might even put up a sign that says, “Feel free to come inside and use the bathroom next time, but no judgement.” 

The Explorer

This person is all about adventure and new things. They see the poop on the driveway and think, “Maybe I should try this.” They tweet asking people about the strangest places they’ve pooped. They are unsatisfied with their own pooping experiences and now on the quest for the perfect poop place. They create an entirely new profile about it and call it “POOPING INTO THE UNKNOWN.” They immediately have 2.5 million followers. 

The Ruler/Tyrant

The ruler leads. The poop is disorder. It is on their driveway! This is unstable. This is totally not excellent. The ruler calls a minion to remove the poop and immediately tweets, “Listen. To. Me. Whoever pooped on my driveway, the most amazing driveway anywhere ever, is totally going to pay.” 

The Creator/Artist

So, yeah. They see the poop. They want to transform the poop. They make an art piece about it. They tweet a joke. They think about making an art piece for longer time than they spend actually creating it. Eventually, they remove the poop but only after taking and posting images of its decay for 365 days. The New York Times ends up featuring it on its art page and declaring it’s symbolic of the state of the country. 

The Caregiver/Martyr

The caregiver is all about big feelings and love. The caregiver sees the poop in their driveway and wants to keep everyone else from being traumatized by the poop. They quickly clean up the poop, spray the entire driveway with bleach so nobody can get sick. They have sacrificed their entire Saturday morning keeping everyone safe. They do not tweet directly about the poop but instead say something like, “It’s so hard to keep those you love safe in this word of defecation, but you just have to keep doing it. Be kind and be sanitary, loved ones. I am rooting for you.” 

Writing Tip of the Pod

It’s okay to take regurgitated crap and put a new spin on it. But also think about how your characters would react to things, not just how you react to things. 

Dog Tip for Life

Poop happens. How you react to that poop is up to you. 

Random Thought

To hear about the dentist, flavored alcohol and hate-videos, you have to listen to our podcast and the opening random thought section.

SHOUT OUT

The music we’ve clipped and shortened in this podcast is awesome and is made available through the Creative Commons License. Here’s a link to that and the artist’s website. Who is this artist and what is this song?  It’s “Night Owl” by Broke For Free.

WHERE TO FIND OUR PODCAST, DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE.

The podcast link if you don’t see it above. Plus, it’s everywhere like Apple Music, iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and more. Just google, “DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE” then like and subscribe.

Join the 251,000 people who have downloaded episodes and marveled at our raw weirdness. You can subscribe pretty much anywhere.

LAST WEEK’S EPISODE about slug bait, sages and archetypes. 

Last week’s bonus podcast with Jessica Burkhart! 

A link to our podcast about fatal errors, scenes, and ghost reaper sauce

COME WRITE WITH ME! 

I coach, have a class, and edit things. Find out more here. 

NEW BOOK OF AWESOME- THE PLACES WE HIDE

I have a new book out!!!!!! It’s an adult mystery set in the town where we live, which is Bar Harbor, Maine. You can order it here. And you totally should. 

And if you click through to this link, you can read the first chapter! 

And click here to learn about the book’s inspiration and what I learned about myself when I was writing it.

We dogs smell poop the way sommeliers smell wine. It’s about nuance.

Dogs Are Smarter Than People: Writing Life, Marriage and Motivation
Dogs Are Smarter Than People: Writing Life, Marriage and Motivation
We dogs smell poop the way sommeliers smell wine. It's about nuance.
/

RANDOM THINGS YOU LEARN ABOUT EACH OTHER DURING LOCKDOWN

So, in this house we’ve learned a few random things that we didn’t know before we had to isolate ourselves because of the Covid-19 pandemic and these things include some things that were mentioned on Buzzfeed and some that weren’t including: 

  • Treasure Hunting For Gray Hair In Other People’s Hair Is Fun.
  • People Hook Up on the Scrabble app and Words With Friends. 
  • Sometimes Your Relatives Don’t Close Cabinets.
  • How Much Noise Your Fellow Family Members Including Dogs Make. 
  • Your Husband Is More Southern Than You Thought.

So, while we were checking that out we also saw that Buzzfeed had this other article called, “17 Delicious Cookout Recipes That Will Impress Your Southern Friends” and the first thing we thought was, “Do I have southern friends?” And then we remembered we have an entire Southern family and then we were ashamed. 

But the article was not all that Southern and it confused us.

Did the writer think Northern people don’t have BBQ pulled pork, buttermilk fried chicken, BBQ baby back ribs, corn on the cob, fried fish, burgers, baked mac and cheese normally? And why would Southern people be more impressed by that than Northerners? 

Like where did this regionally specific food divide even come from? The only southern thing that was on there that Carrie (from the North) didn’t grow up with were collard greens. She even had peach ice tea. Albeit, it was the Snapple kind.

They had baked beans on there. Dudes, they are called Boston Baked Beans for a reason. They had potato salad on there! It made no sense!  

And someone in the comments actually wrote: “This post should probably be changed to the perfect SOUTHERN cookout. Most of these things aren’t gonna fly at a cookout in Maine!”

And Carrie lost her chill.

All you all, don’t talk about Maine if you’ve never been here. Similarly, give shout-outs to the origins and history of the foods that you’re blogging about because erasure isn’t a cool thing and that goes for socio-economic erasure and ethnic erasure. The foods of different cultures sustain us, build us, bind us, and also reflect our histories–the good and horrible parts. 

What does this have to do with writing?

When you write about regions, think about it from more than your perspective. When you want to add some authenticity into your stories, think about the strange things you learn about your own house and family during lockdowns. Those details and nuance? That’s what makes a story authentic, not a bullshit blog post about how to impress your Southern friends at a cookout or a food post about Kimchi that never mentions it’s a Korean food. 

Writing Tip of the Pod

Be smart. Be detailed. Be full of empathy, but don’t be so full of yourself that you forget the backs and lives and hearts of the people who came before you. That goes not just for writers, but for regular humans, too. 

Dog Tip for Life

Dogs are all about origins and details. According to Sparrty, our dog, “We dogs smell poop the way sommeliers smell wine.” 

It’s all about the nuance. Be about the nuance not the generalization. That’s true about writing and thinking. Smell the bouquet, appreciate the differences. 

SHOUT OUT

The music we’ve clipped and shortened in this podcast is awesome and is made available through the Creative Commons License. Here’s a link to that and the artist’s website. Who is this artist and what is this song?  It’s “Night Owl” by Broke For Free.

Come Write With Me!

I coach, have a class, and edit things.

WRITING COACH FOR FICTION

WHERE TO FIND OUR PODCAST, DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE.

The podcast link if you don’t see it above. Plus, it’s everywhere like Apple Music, iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and more. Just google, “DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE” then like and subscribe.

Join the 222,000 people who have downloaded episodes and marveled at our raw weirdness. You can subscribe pretty much anywhere.

Link to Jose’s bonus interview. Jokes, Stuffies, And Using Your Weirdness for Good, An Interview with Jose De La Roca

Link to Caitlyn’s bonus episode. Books, Law School during Covid-19 and just being Kick Butt – Using Law to Create Lasting Change – Interview with Caitlyn Vanover

Link to this week’s episode of awesome.

Last week’s episode. Money Is Not the Enemy and the Habits of the Rich

NEW BOOK OF AWESOME

I have a new book out!!!!!! It’s an adult mystery set in the town where we live, which is Bar Harbor, Maine. You can order it here. And you totally should. 

And if you click through to this link, you can read the first chapter! 

And click here to learn about the book’s inspiration and what I learned about myself when I was writing it.

IN THE WOODS – READ AN EXCERPT, ORDER NOW!

My new book, IN THE WOODS, is out!

Gasp!

It’s with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed!

 

 

Poop Texting Fail

Dogs Are Smarter Than People: Writing Life, Marriage and Motivation
Dogs Are Smarter Than People: Writing Life, Marriage and Motivation
Poop Texting Fail
/ 
a Rafflecopter giveaway

So, two weeks ago the podcast featured poop texting and writing, but somehow only our random thought was uploaded and not the full broadcast.

Carrie feels this may have been her mother refusing to allow such things be out in the open. She raised Carrie better than this, honestly. No decent woman from New Hampshire talks openly about poop.

Shaun feels Carrie just messed up.

WE’VE BEEN MARRIED TOO LONG AND POOP TEXTS

Sometimes you get married and you’ve been married for a long time and you remember that the beginning of your marriage is like a poem and there’s white space and new discovery in every line. 

Sometimes you’ve been married a long time and it’s a routine, a science experiment that can be replicated. There can be beautiful comfort in a rut or a routine. 

Some people want life to be poems. 

Or not.

Some people want life to be expirments. 

Or not.

Some people like patterns to their lives and their books, but some people don’t.  

🙂

As writers and people, we have to decide if we want to be science experiments, or do we want poem moments again. Listen to the podcast to hear Shaun talk about poop texts, poop talks, Hallmark-quality texts and makes up brilliant poems and admits to excessive emoji use. Also, we haven’t really been married too long. 

WRITING TIP OF THE POD

Random things in your childhood come up in your poems and stories. It’s okay to not realize this until your siblings tell you.Also, poop is funny.  

DOG TIP FOR LIFE

Dogs smell their poop. They are proud of it until they kick grass on top of it. Dogs are not afraid of the poopy side of life. Embrace your dark side, but then know that the things you poop away should stay away.  

SHOUT OUT

The music we’ve clipped and shortened in this podcast is awesome and is made available through the Creative Commons License. Here’s a link to that and the artist’s website. Who is this artist and what is this song?  It’s “Night Owl” by Broke For Free.


WRITING NEWS

IN THE WOODS – READ AN EXCERPT, PREORDER NOW!

My next book, IN THE WOODS, appears TODAY!

TODAY!

Gasp!

It’s with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed! 

You can order this bad boy, which might make it have a sequel. The sequel would be amazing. Believe me, I know. It features caves and monsters and love. Because doesn’t every story?

In the Woods
In the Woods


ART NEWS

You can buy limited-edition prints and learn more about my art here on my site. 

Carrie Jones Art for Sale

PATREON OF AWESOME

You can get exclusive content, early podcasts, videos, art and listen (or read) never-to-be-officially published writings of Carrie on her Patreon. Levels go from $1 to $100 (That one includes writing coaching and editing for you wealthy peeps). 

Check it out here. 

WHAT IS PATREON? 

A lot of you might be new to Patreon and not get how it works. That’s totally cool. New things can be scary, but there’s a cool primer HERE that explains how it works. The short of it is this: You give Patreon your paypal or credit card # and they charge you whatever you level you choose at the end of each month. That money supports me sharing my writing and art and podcasts and weirdness with you. 

WE’VE BEEN MARRIED TOO LONG AND POOP TEXTS

We’ve Been Married Too Long and Poop Texts

Sometimes you get married and you’ve been married for a long time and you remember that the beginning of your marriage is like a poem and there’s white space and new discovery in every line. 

Sometimes you’ve been married a long time and it’s a routine, a science experiment that can be replicated. There can be beautiful comfort in a rut or a routine. 

Some people want life to be poems. 

Or not.

Some people want life to be expirments. 

Or not.

Some people like patterns to their lives and their books, but some people don’t.  

As writers and people, we have to decide if we want to be science experiments, or do we want poem moments again. Listen to the podcast to hear Shaun talk about poop texts, poop talks, Hallmark-quality texts and makes up brilliant poems and admits to excessive emoji use. Also, we haven’t really been married too long. 🙂

WRITING TIP OF THE POD

Random things in your childhood come up in your poems and stories. It’s okay to not realize this until your siblings tell you.Also, poop is funny.  

DOG TIP FOR LIFE

Dogs smell their poop. They are proud of it until they kick grass on top of it. Dogs are not afraid of the poopy side of life. Embrace your dark side, but then know that the things you poop away should stay away.  

Shout Out

The music we’ve clipped and shortened in this podcast is awesome and is made available through the Creative Commons License. Here’s a link to that and the artist’s website. Who is this artist and what is this song?  It’s “Night Owl” by Broke For Free.


WRITING NEWS

IN THE WOODS – READ AN EXCERPT, PREORDER NOW!

My next book, IN THE WOODS, appears in July with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed! 

You can preorder this bad boy, which might make it have a sequel. The sequel would be amazing. Believe me, I know. It features caves and monsters and love. Because doesn’t every story?

In the Woods
In the Woods


ART NEWS

You can buy limited-edition prints and learn more about my art here on my site.

Carrie Jones Art for Sale

PATREON OF AWESOME

You can get exclusive content, early podcasts, videos, art and listen (or read) never-to-be-officially published writings of Carrie on her Patreon. Levels go from $1 to $100 (That one includes writing coaching and editing for you wealthy peeps).

Check it out here.

WHAT IS PATREON? 

A lot of you might be new to Patreon and not get how it works. That’s totally cool. New things can be scary, but there’s a cool primer HERE that explains how it works. The short of it is this: You give Patreon your paypal or credit card # and they charge you whatever you level you choose at the end of each month. That money supports me sharing my writing and art and podcasts and weirdness with you. 


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