Elf on the Shelf is a bit Naughty Because He Lives at My House

Elf on the Shelf is a bit Naughty Because He Lives at My House

The elves arrived at the house today, but there was a lit of an incident. No worries! They will be all set to keep watch and pursue hijinx tomorrow, much to Em’s chagrin. She thinks they are ‘creepy.’ Silly girl.

After a catastrophic arrival, one elf decides to put his feet in ice (yes, that is a price tag on there) and get some support from a kind snow person who is using a Christmas tree to prop up the elf. It sort of looks like a normal scene after bar close in Bar Harbor actually. (Minus the price tag.) They promise to not talk about what happened later on social media because… Well, we’re trying to keep this PG rated.

So, um, Elfie made a couple moves on Rudolph’s girlfriend the next night. She appreciated his marshmallow hot tub. He appreciated her appreciation. Because that’s how elves roll in Bar Harbor.

Unfortunately for Elfie, Rudolph heard about the indiscretions with his reindeer boo. While Elfie basked in his memories of the night, Rudolph brought along reinforcements.

Overwhelmed with a flimsy sort of remorse after having had a bit of an encounter with Rudolph’s boo, Elfie looks to Mrs. Claus for counseling, but then begins to admire the curvature of her apron.

And well…

That’s just how this Elfie currently rolls. Don’t tell Santa!

After his session with Mrs. Claus, Elfie got groovy and jammed out with the boys that night. Here he is looking at the fingering and trying to memorize it so that he can use it later to impress the ladies.


After some counseling with Santa, Elfie has rethought things.

He’s rethought a lot of things, honestly.

He would like to apologize to the ladies, gender non-identifying and bending, as well as to the men of Christmas for his antics and promises to be better as soon as he finishes the episode of Brokeback Reindeer Mountain.

WRITING NEWS

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IN THE WOODS – READ AN EXCERPT, ORDER NOW!

My new book, IN THE WOODS, is out!

Gasp!

It’s with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed!

Order this bad boy, which might make it have a sequel. The sequel would be amazing. Believe me, I know. It features caves and monsters and love. Because doesn’t every story?

In the Woods
In the Woods


ART NEWS

Bar harbor arts
Carrie Jones Art

Buy limited-edition prints and learn more about my art here on my site. 

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WHAT IS PATREON? 

A lot of you might be new to Patreon and not get how it works. That’s totally cool. New things can be scary, but there’s a cool primer HERE that explains how it works. The short of it is this: You give Patreon your paypal or credit card # and they charge you whatever you level you choose at the end of each month. That money supports me sharing my writing and art and podcasts and weirdness with you. 

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Author: carriejonesbooks

I am the NYT and internationally-bestselling author of children's books, which include the NEED series, FLYING series, TIME STOPPERS series, DEAR BULLY and other books. I like hedgehogs and puppies and warm places. I have none of these things in my life.

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