I stopped getting Google Alerts.
Google Alerts are these wild things that tell you (sort of) when your book’s name or your name comes up on the web.
That can be a good thing.
That can be a very bad thing.
But in 2007 for me, it became a really, really bad thing.
Tell us why Carrie.
Okay, Grover. Just because you are so darn cute and blue and furry, I will.
In 2007 Google Alerts coming to my email about my book TIPS ON HAVING A GAY (ex) BOYFRIEND had been coming through saying a line of a review and a website. I clicked. The website took me to… I don’t know, Grover. Should I really tell?
Yes, Carrie, do tell.
Okay. It was taking me to porn sites.
Do not worry, Carrie! I, Super Grover, and I, Scary Flasher Grover, will save you from this horrible thing.
I know, Grover, I wish you would! And it was not taking me to just any porn sites, and it was not even taking me to gay porn sites which would seem more appropriate, but it sent me to really hardcore horrible places. Do not worry, I clicked off my computer right away.
But, I guess, my points are:
1. I felt kind of violated. There was nothing to indicate that these sites were naughty. And they were really, really naughty.
2. That made me worried about other people somehow getting there from reviews of my book?
3. My poor editor guy, Andrew, gets Google Alerts for his authors’ books and it happened to him, too.
4. I still feel like that Dateline NBC man is going to come to my computer and say, “You were on an Internet porn site for 1.2 seconds before you screamed, shut it off and sprayed yourself with an entire bottle of Lysol Disinfectant spray. Why did you go there? Why? And don’t give me that Google Alerts line. We’ve heard it before.
5. I can’t help but wonder what sweet Grover would think if he knew what I accidentally saw. Please forgive me, Grover. I knew not what I did.
Oh, Carrie. Do you really think I, Grover, have a problem with this? Really… C’mon. Do you?
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