Realize you call it saucepain instead of sauce pan. There are deep reasons for this, aren't there? I mean YOU BOIL THINGS IN THERE! That seems violent. So does chopping things. Why is cooking so violent? When will the broth boil so you can stop thinking and start doing? AGHHHHH!!!!
Once the broth boils, stop thinking and start doing! Feel relieved and add the mushrooms. Turn it to low. Thank the mushrooms for their service and sacrifice.
Simmer four minutes. Try not to think about books, plots, reviews, agents who don't email back, other writers, or anything.
Do not cry because the mushrooms gave their life to be your soup. Do not make this into a picture book or a poem. Just cook.
Stir miso paste and soy sauce together so it's mixed and then add it to the sauce of pain. Add the tofu too. Cook one more minute
You are done! What? THAT WAS SO FAST!
Celebrate by pouring the soup into something you eat out of. Add the green onions.
I found this recipe on All Recipes by someone mysteriously known only as Claudia. I owe a lot to the mysterious Claudia because this is my new favorite recipe.
Man Verdict: I thought this was going to be disgusting, but this is one of my favorite soups ever.
My Verdict: Me too!
Dog Verdict: WE ARE NOT ALLOWED TO EAT THIS! LIFE IS SO UNFAIR! PLEASE PASS THE DOG BISCUITS, STAT!
Help Us and Do An Awesome Good Deed
Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness as we talk about random thoughts, writing advice and life tips. We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of. Please share it and subscribe if you can. Please rate and like us if you are feeling kind, because it matters somehow. There’s a new episode every Tuesday!
So, we are currently hanging out in a camper and renting out our house because you make big money renting out your house for the summer when you live in Bar Harbor, Maine.
And this means….
That we’re cooking outside a lot and the man is winning in his quest to be Captain Carnivore and I am losing in my quest to make us a happy vegetarian household… or is it camper-hold?
And to make it worse, Captain Carnivore is not into vegetables, thus his name. He won’t touch cucumbers, tomatoes, eggplant, zucchini or anything actually good.
But I made this anyway because sometimes I want to make something I like. And I like this… I like it a lot.
Miso Grilled Vegetables of Awesome
This recipe owes everything to Cooking Light and Naomi Duguid. All poorly thought out deviations are my fault.
2.5 tbsp miso – white
1.5 tbsp water (or enough to make it right)
3 tbsp olive oil (plus a bit more if needed for consistency)
1 lb zuchinni (cut into slices about ⅓-inch thick)
.5 lb eggplant (cut into slices about ⅓-inch thick)
2 whole peppers (red and orange and yellow are the coolest. Sorry. Green. Cut each into six pieces)
1 whole red onion (cut into wedges)
1 big spray cooking spray
2 sprigs mint leaves (optional)
1 whole lime (optional)
Use the cooking spray to coat your grill rack. Not the outside of the grill. Then turn the grill on to high heat.
Think about how some writers write under the influence of illegal drugs. Wonder how they keep track of their plot.
Put miso and water together. Wonder if they like each other or are eyeing each other warily, wondering what will happen next.
Shout, “IT’S A PARTY,” and slowly add oil. Stir them all up with a whisk and sing your favorite party song. Are there writer party songs? There should be.
Put the vegetables EXCEPT THE ONION in a pan, say, “Now it’s really a party, babies!”
Add about 5 tablespoons of the miso party mixture.
Toss it up.
Think about parties from your younger days.
Feel badly for the onion, out on its own with no miso mix, unable to be tossed around because it’s too fragile and will break apart.
Feel like the onion.
Brush onion with what’s left of the miso marinade, and whisper, “It’s okay… You can party, too. You’re okay. You’re loved and included.”
Put everyone on the rack on the grill, even the onion.
Zucchini, eggplant, and bell pepper can only party for about 4 minutes on each side.
They don’t have the onion’s stamina. Be proud of the onion and grill it for 6 minutes on either side.
Basically, grill the veggies until they are tender veggies.
Put some mint on them and serve them with lime wedges. Because they are done.
Shaun Verdict: You are trying to kill me.
Dog Verdict: Rub some dirt on it, we’ll call it good.
Carrie Verdict: THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER!
Next and Last Time Stoppers Book
It’s out! You can order my middle grade fantasy novel Time Stoppers Escape From the Badlands here or anywhere. The official release date was August 7!
Please buy it so I can keep buying food for the dogs… and stuff…
People call it a cross between Harry Potter and Percy Jackson but it’s set in Maine. It’s full of adventure, quirkiness and heart.
The Spy Who Played Baseball is a picture book biography about Moe Berg. And… there’s a movie out now about Moe Berg, a major league baseball player who became a spy. How cool is that?
It’s awesome and quirky and fun.
OUR PODCAST DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE.
Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness as we talk about random thoughts, writing advice and life tips. We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of. Please share it and subscribe if you can. Please rate and like us if you are feeling kind, because it matters somehow.
Carrie offers solo writing coach services. For more about Carrie’s individual coaching, click here.
Carrie will be at the Maine Literacy Volunteers Festival on September 8. She is not sure where it is in Maine. She thinks… Augusta?
Sometimes, I have days when I want to scream, “RAH!!!” Today is like that.
This is for a bunch of reasons including someone saying, “Wow. You look tired.”
Me: Thanks? I am?
Anyway, as you know, I’m trying to convince the household to eat less meat. The household is stubborn.
Me: Hey! We’re having Ramen tonight.
The Man: RAH! MAN! RAH! I MAN! I EAT RAMEN!
Dogs run off.
Man beats chest.
Me: Who even are you?
Man: I ate ramen forever. I was raised on ramen. I love ramen. Where are the spice packs?
Me: No! No! We aren’t using the spice packs. Those have animal byproducts.
Man: Why must you ruin all that is holy?
I was sad when I was making this recipe. You can tell.
3 TBSP vegetable or canola oil
1 whole onion (any color, but yellow is best here)
1 big leek
5 cloves garlic (chopped or minced)
1 3-inch ginger (peeled, chopped)
1 oz dried mushrooms (preferably shiitake)
1 lb sweet potato (peeled, chopped)
1 whole head garlic (NO VAMPIRES HERE, BABY)
1 lb shitake mushroom (cleaned, sliced)
soy or tamari sauce (to taste)
1.5 lb ramen noodles (fresh if possible)
.25 cup miso (white or yellow kind)
5 green onions (chopped to look pretty)
Find a large saucepan, empty it of your tears and put it on medium-high heat.
Put 2 tablespoons of oil in that saucepan. Get it so it isn’t cold, like the heart of villain.
Realize it’s really your heart that’s cold.
Add the onions. Put some salt on top. DO NOT TOUCH THE ONIONS. Leave them there for 5 minutes until they are brown.
Realize the onions are the book that you’ve been working on for 27 years and still doesn’t feel done. Realize that tweaking your book is like stirring the onions. You can’t resist. Wait for five minutes to pass.
YOU CAN STIR THINGS NOW! Add leek, garlic, dried mushrooms, ginger, 6 cups of water. This will deglaze the pan if you stir and scrape up the bits. Do that.
Turn the heat down. It’s too intense here, just like your plot.
Put the heat on medium-low.
Realize you feel medium low.
Partially cover the pan and let it be for an hour. A WHOLE HOUR!
Procrastinate for an hour.
Don’t do any real work or revision or anything else.
Preheat oven to 400 F.
Put sweet potatoes on a baking sheet. Drizzle oil on them. Toss them so the oil is distributed.
Find a head of garlic. Cut off the top of its head. Imagine he’s a writing expert telling you to kill your darlings. Drizzle oil on it and wrap it up in foil. Put it on the pan.
Put the pan in the oven and close the door. Stir it once in awhile. Cook until it’s tender.
BACK TO THE STOVE! An hour has passed! You’ve got this.
Strain the broth through a sieve and get rid of all the solid bits. KEEP THE BROTH!
Realize this is like ‘killing your darlings’ like all those writing experts always say. Wonder if writing experts know that they are annoying.
Find a blender. Free it of left over smoothie. Instead squeeze the garlic cloves into that bad boy.
Add 1/3 cup of sweet potatoes.
Add 1/2 cup broth that you saved.
Puree until it’s smooth.
Add it to the big bunch of broth.
Find a saucepan and put it on medium heat.
Add oil that’s left.
Add mushrooms. Cook them for about five minutes or until tender.
Season to your liking.
Add tamari or soy sauce.
Reduce to low.
Cover partially and cook until it’s warm.
Is it warm?
Are you warm?
Whisk in that miso of awesome.
Take your noodles (cooked if dry!) Put them in bowls. Put the broth over it.
Top it with sweet potatoes.
Sprinkle with green onions.
Marvel at your creation.
It wasn’t that bad, was it?
This is derived from a recipe from Cooking Light.
Dog Verdict: WHERE IS THE BACON? We like sweet potato okay though. But… it’s not… you know… bacon.
Man Verdict: This would be better with bacon, honestly, or at least the spice packs full of MSG and other goodness.
Carrie Verdict: Writers need love. Ramen is love.
*P.S. My writer brain was too tired to do the actual math to count the calories for this. I am so sorry.
I’ll be at Book Expo America on June 1 at the Lerner booth from 11:30-12.
There’s a free information and inspiration session from Write! Submit! Support!, a six-month intensive program through the Writing Barn.
It’s a one-day only thing just to hang out and learn about the program. I swear! No weirdness involved at all. More info is here.
TIME STOPPERS THE MIDDLE GRADE SERIES OF AWESOME
Time Stoppers’s third book comes out this summer. It’s been called a cross between Harry Potter and Percy Jackson, but with heart. It takes place in Acadia National Park in Bar Harbor, Maine. I need to think of awesome ways to promote it because this little book series is the book series of my own middle grade heart. Plus, I wrote it for the Emster. Plus, it is fun.
Dogs Are Smarter Than People
And finally, the podcast DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE is still chugging along. Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness. We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of.