Here on Cooking with a Writer, we like to try to inspire the other members of my family to be vegetarians, or at least to eat less meat. We aren’t pushy because we believe in free will and all that, but we do try to lay out the reasons for eating a more plant-based diet.
And then comes the day when that veggie-pusher’s book comes out.
And what did I do?
I ate so many potatoes. SO MANY POTATOES! Like, I’ve lost 40 pounds since March? I ate 40 pounds of potatoes on my book’s birthday.
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IN THE WOODS – READ AN EXCERPT, ORDER NOW!
My next book, IN THE WOODS, was born this week!
It’s with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed!
You can order this bad boy, which might make it have a sequel. The sequel would be amazing. Believe me, I know. It features caves and monsters and love. Because doesn’t every story?
You can buy limited-edition prints and learn more about my art here on my site.
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I’ve been hanging out in the camper for weeks and weeks now and I’ve got to admit… I’m getting a little punchy. I sort of miss floor.
So, be warned, this recipe? It’s a little punchy, too. Punchy enough to make the rest of the family vegetarians?
But, pretty punchy.
Tipsy Grilled Pineapple
This recipe is adapted from cookingcanuck.com, which is an awesome place to go hang out.
- .25 cup butter (unsalted is better for you)
- .66 cup brown sugar
- 2 tbsp flour (regular kind)
- 1 cup half and half stuff (my mom used to love this)
- 3 tbsp dark rum (my mom refused to touch this)
- 1 tbsp lemon juice
- .25 tsp vanilla extract (try not to sniff it too much)
- a bit canola oil or vegetable oil (to brush the grill)
- 1 big pineapple (cut into 8 rings that are about ¾ inch thick)
Okay. You are cooking with rum. Try to control yourself.
Put your heat source on medium. Then melt the butter in a big skillet or regular saucepan.
Envy the butter. It changes shapes so easily while you have to work so hard to change shape. Realize part of the reason why you have to work so hard is because…. butter.
*PREHEAT THE GRILL TO MEDIUM*
Resent the butter.
Whisk in flour and brown sugar. To be fair, they don’t help you change shape (for the better) either. Take it out on them by whisking constantly.
Do this for two minutes.
Regret your feelings. Butter, sugar, and flour can’t help it if you can’t resist them, can they?
This is on you.
Add the half-and-half.
But whisk with love.
Love them all for five minutes. The sauce will thicken.
Take it off the heat. Murmur loving things.
Add the rum, fresh lemon juice and vanilla extract.
Try not to sniff the vanilla extract too long because I swear that stuff is like ModPodge or glue and it can make you a bit… Well, it does what rum does.
Put the sauce on low. Really low. Keep whisking until you use it.
HOW DO YOU DO THIS WHILE GRILLING THE PINEAPPLES? CALL YOUR FRIEND AND COOKING PARTNER OR RUN BACK AND FORTH SUPER FAST.
You ready? It’s time to get these pineapples primed so they can get tipsy.
Brush grill with canola oil. It’s like a happy tanning bed back in the 1970s. Didn’t people brush their skin with butter back then?
Flop the pineapple rings on the grill.
Those pineapples are ready to party. Turn them over at 2.5 minutes in. They don’t want to be unevenly tanned. Cook them a total of 5 minutes.
Those babies are beautiful and ready to be tipsy!
Put ice cream on top.
Pour sauce all over them.
Gabby the Dog: ALCOHOL IS EVIL AND YOU ARE TRYING TO KILL ME.
Sparty the Dog: I like this.
The Man: This isn’t actually a meal.
So, still trying to be a vegetarian family out in the camping world… and still sort of failing.
But this week, I made something I TOTALLY loved even if avocados basically cost 8 million dollars in New England and they use up a lot of resources shipping them here.
Now, I can’t eat avocados. BUT YOU CAN!
Here’s the recipe.
Cooking With a Writer Avocados Get Smoky and Fajita Like
Sometimes you just have to avocado it.
- .25 cup water
- 1 tbsp olive oil
- .75 package (1 oz) fajita seasoning (I use more but I need a lot of seasoning. More can make it sort of salty)
- 1.5 whole avocado (sliced use the rest to taunt your husband with)
- 1.5 green pepper (sliced)
- .5 whole onion (cut into rings; separate the rings)
- 4 whole tortilla (the six-inchers)
YOU MUST PLAN AHEAD HERE! I am so sorry.
First, whisk water, oil and seasoning together in a bowl. Then pour it into a big enough bag.
Add vegetables and make all that marinade stick to them.
Marvel at your work.
Push all the air out of the bag and seal it. This is to keep the avocados from getting that gross color that avocados get.
Write a picture book draft about avocados not wanting to get oxidized. Realize this is a bad idea. Browning avocados is just like white people trying to get tan. Maybe those avocados do want to be oxidized, darn it.
Confuse yourself thinking about the societal implications of this picture book.
Decide to drink wine instead.
Turn the grill on medium. Oil the grate.
Drain all the liquid off the veggies. This seems like a waste of water. Think about writing a picture book about wasting water.
Think about the societal implications of wasting water!
Dude. This is not good.
Go ahead and separate the onions and peppers from the avocados. Sure they were all friends in the tight airless bag, but now… now… they don’t associate with each other anymore, do they?
Realize this totally could be a picture book, somehow, but there are so many plot threads.
Feel badly for separating the vegetables but then shout, “YOU ARE ALL GOING TO BURN SOON ANYWAY!”
There. All is good.
Burn the onions and peppers first. DON’T REALLY BURN THEM. I’m being silly.
Using tongs, put then in one layer. Cook until tender. This might be five minutes. It might be 11 minutes. Turn them a couple of times while grilling.
Once you’re done, put them in a pan, cover them up and keep them cozy and warm.
Now, it’s time for the poor lonely avocados. Do the same thing. Turn them. This will take about 5 minutes.
Take some tortillas. Put all the veggies in there. They are together again! Celebrate by eating them.
Dog Verdict: No.
Man Verdict: Are these avocados? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME OR TURN ME HIPSTER?
Carrie Verdict: I am enjoying this fajita immensely.
Next and Last Time Stoppers Book
Please buy it so I can keep buying food for the dogs… and stuff…
People call it a cross between Harry Potter and Percy Jackson but it’s set in Maine. It’s full of adventure, quirkiness and heart.
The Spy Who Played Baseballis a picture book biography about Moe Berg. And… there’s a movie out now about Moe Berg, a major league baseball player who became a spy. How cool is that?
You should totally buy my book about Moe. It’s awesome and quirky and fun.
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I’ll be at the Maine Literacy Volunteers Festival on September 8. It is in Augusta, Maine.