Cooking With a Writer – Tipsy Grilled Pineapples

So, yeah.

I’ve been hanging out in the camper for weeks and weeks now and I’ve got to admit… I’m getting a little punchy. I sort of miss floor.

So, be warned, this recipe? It’s a little punchy, too. Punchy enough to make the rest of the family vegetarians?

No.

But, pretty punchy.

Tipsy Grilled Pineapple

This recipe is adapted from cookingcanuck.com, which is an awesome place to go hang out. 

  • .25 cup butter (unsalted is better for you)
  • .66 cup brown sugar
  • 2 tbsp flour (regular kind)
  • 1 cup half and half stuff (my mom used to love this)
  • 3 tbsp dark rum (my mom refused to touch this)
  • 1 tbsp lemon juice
  • .25 tsp vanilla extract (try not to sniff it too much)
  • a bit canola oil or vegetable oil (to brush the grill)
  • 1 big pineapple (cut into 8 rings that are about ¾ inch thick)
  1. Okay. You are cooking with rum. Try to control yourself. 

    Put your heat source on medium. Then melt the butter in a big skillet or regular saucepan.

    Envy the butter. It changes shapes so easily while you have to work so hard to change shape. Realize part of the reason why you have to work so hard is because…. butter. 

    *PREHEAT THE GRILL TO MEDIUM*

  2. Resent the butter.

    Whisk in flour and brown sugar. To be fair, they don’t help you change shape (for the better) either. Take it out on them by  whisking constantly.

    Do this for two minutes.

    Feel spent.

  3. Regret your feelings. Butter, sugar, and flour can’t help it if you can’t resist them, can they? 

    No. 

    No.

    This is on you.

  4. Add the half-and-half. 

    Keep whisking.

    But whisk with love.

    Love them all for five minutes. The sauce will thicken.

  5. Take it off the heat. Murmur loving things. 

    Add the rum, fresh lemon juice and vanilla extract. 

    Try not to sniff the vanilla extract too long because I swear that stuff is like ModPodge or glue and it can make you a bit… Well, it does what rum does. 

    Put the sauce on low. Really low. Keep whisking until you use it. 

    HOW DO YOU DO THIS WHILE GRILLING THE PINEAPPLES? CALL YOUR FRIEND AND COOKING PARTNER OR RUN BACK AND FORTH SUPER FAST.

  6. You ready? It’s time to get these pineapples primed so they can get tipsy.

    Brush grill with canola oil. It’s like a happy tanning bed back in the 1970s. Didn’t people brush their skin with butter back then? 

    Flop the pineapple rings on the grill.

    Those pineapples are ready to party. Turn them over at 2.5 minutes in. They don’t want to be unevenly tanned. Cook them a total of 5 minutes. 

    Those babies are beautiful and ready to be tipsy! 

  7. Put ice cream on top.

    Pour sauce all over them. 

    Wow. 

Gabby the Dog: ALCOHOL IS EVIL AND YOU ARE TRYING TO KILL ME.

Sparty the Dog: I like this.

The Man: This isn’t actually a meal.

Me: Hiccup.

Writing News

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ENHANCED PAPERBACK RELEASE!

This is the book that I forgot was coming out. I am so sorry, little book!

Carrie Jones, the New York Times bestselling author of Flying, presents another science fiction adventure of cheerleader-turned-alien-hunter Mana in Enhanced.

Seventeen-year-old Mana has found and rescued her mother, but her work isn’t done yet. Her mother may be out of alien hands, but she’s in a coma, unable to tell anyone what she knows.

Mana is ready to take action. The only problem? Nobody will let her. Lyle, her best friend and almost-boyfriend (for a minute there, anyway), seems to want nothing to do with hunting aliens, despite his love of Doctor Who. Bestie Seppie is so desperate to stay out of it, she’s actually leaving town. And her mom’s hot but arrogant alien-hunting partner, China, is ignoring Mana’s texts, cutting her out of the mission entirely.

They all know the alien threat won’t stay quiet for long. It’s up to Mana to fight her way back in.

“Witty dialogue and flawless action.”—VOYA
“YA readers, you’re in for a treat this week. Hilarious and action-packed, this novel is sure to be the perfect summer read.”—Bookish 

“Funny and playful, with a diverse cast of characters and a bit of romance and adventure, Flying is the perfect light summer read.”—BookPage

Order Your Copy:

amazon bn booksamillion  indiebound

Cough. That was pretty self-promotional, wasn’t it?

The Final Time Stoppers Book

What is it? It’s the third TIME STOPPERS book! It’s also one of the reasons that I forgot about ENHANCED’s release.

Time Stopper Annie’s newfound home, the enchanted town Aurora, is in danger. The vicious Raiff will stop at nothing to steal the town’s magic, and Annie is the only one who can defeat him–even though it’s prophesied that she’ll “fall with evil.”

Alongside her loyal band of friends Eva, Bloom, SalGoud, and Jamie, who still isn’t quite sure whether he’s a troll or not, Annie journeys deep into the Raiff’s realm, the Badlands. The group will face everything from ruthless monsters to their own deepest fears. Can Annie find the courage to confront the Raiff and save everyone, even if it means making the ultimate sacrifice?
What People are Saying About The Books:
An imaginative blend of fantasy, whimsy, and suspense, with a charming cast of underdog characters . . . This new fantasy series will entice younger fans of Harry Potter and Percy Jackson.” –  School Library Journal
“The characters show welcome kindness and poignant insecurity, and the text sprinkles in humor . . . and an abundance of magical creatures.” Kirkus Reviews on QUEST FOR THE GOLDEN ARROW

“An imaginative blend of fantasy, whimsy, and suspense, with a charming cast of underdog characters . . . This new fantasy series will entice younger fans of Harry Potter and Percy Jackson.” – School Library Journal on TIME STOPPERS
How to Get Signed Copies: 

If you would like to purchase signed copies of my books, you can do so through the awesome Sherman’s Book Store in Bar Harbor, Maine or the amazing Briar Patch. The books are also available online at places like Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

For signed copies – email barharbor@shermans.com for Sherman’s or email info@briarpatchbooks.comand let them know the titles in which you are interested. There’s sometimes a waiting list, but they are the best option. Plus, you’re supporting an adorable local bookstore run by some really wonderful humans. But here’s the Amazon link, too!

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Cooking With a Writer – Avocados Getting All Smoky in the Fajitas

So, still trying to be a vegetarian family out in the camping world… and still sort of failing.

But this week, I made something I TOTALLY loved even if avocados basically cost 8 million dollars in New England and they use up a lot of resources shipping them here.

Sigh.

Now, I can’t eat avocados. BUT YOU CAN!

Here’s the recipe.

Cooking With a Writer Avocados Get Smoky and Fajita Like

Sometimes you just have to avocado it. 

  • .25 cup water
  • 1 tbsp olive oil
  • .75 package (1 oz) fajita seasoning (I use more but I need a lot of seasoning. More can make it sort of salty)
  • 1.5 whole avocado (sliced use the rest to taunt your husband with)
  • 1.5 green pepper (sliced)
  • .5 whole onion (cut into rings; separate the rings)
  • 4 whole tortilla (the six-inchers)
  1. YOU MUST PLAN AHEAD HERE! I am so sorry.

    First, whisk water, oil and seasoning together in a bowl. Then pour it into a big enough bag.

    Add vegetables and make all that marinade stick to them. 

    Marvel at your work.

    Push all the air out of the bag and seal it. This is to keep the avocados from getting that gross color that avocados get. 

    Write a picture book draft about avocados not wanting to get oxidized. Realize this is a bad idea. Browning avocados is just like white people trying to get tan. Maybe those avocados do want to be oxidized, darn it. 

    Confuse yourself thinking about the societal implications of this picture book. 

    Decide to drink wine instead. 

  2. Turn the grill on medium. Oil the grate. 

    Drain all the liquid off the veggies. This seems like a waste of water. Think about writing a picture book about wasting water. 

    Think about the societal implications of wasting water! 

    Dude. This is not good. 

    Go ahead and separate the onions and peppers from the avocados. Sure they were all friends in the tight airless bag, but now… now… they don’t associate with each other anymore, do they? 

    Realize this totally could be a picture book, somehow, but there are so many plot threads. 

    Feel badly for separating the vegetables but then shout, “YOU ARE ALL GOING TO BURN SOON ANYWAY!” 

    There. All is good. 

  3. Burn the onions and peppers first. DON’T REALLY BURN THEM. I’m being silly.

    Using tongs, put then in one layer. Cook until tender. This might be five minutes. It might be 11 minutes. Turn them a couple of times while grilling. 

    Once you’re done, put them in a pan, cover them up and keep them cozy and warm. 

  4. Now, it’s time for the poor lonely avocados. Do the same thing. Turn them. This will take about 5 minutes. 

  5. Take some tortillas. Put all the veggies in there. They are together again! Celebrate by eating them. 

Dog Verdict: No.

Man Verdict: Are these avocados? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME OR TURN ME HIPSTER?

Carrie Verdict: I am enjoying this fajita immensely.

Writing News

Next and Last Time Stoppers Book

It’s out! You can order my middle grade fantasy novel Time Stoppers Escape From the Badlands here or anywhere.

Please buy it so I can keep buying food for the dogs… and stuff…

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People call it a cross between Harry Potter and Percy Jackson but it’s set in Maine. It’s full of adventure, quirkiness and heart.

Moe Berg

The Spy Who Played Baseballis a picture book biography about Moe Berg. And… there’s a movie out now about Moe Berg, a major league baseball player who became a spy. How cool is that?

You should totally buy my book about Moe. It’s awesome and quirky and fun.

My Post copy 6

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dogs are smarter than people carrie after dark being relentless to get published

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Appearances

I’ll be at the Maine Literacy Volunteers Festival on September 8. It is in Augusta, Maine.