Mushroom Ramen Noodles of Writerly Stereotypes

Hey! It’s Cooking With a Writer, real recipes, but um . . . a weird writer take on them. I always source my recipes, but I can’t verify if they are the originals.

Mushroom Ramen Noodles of Writerly Stereotypes

Recipe by CarrieCourse: DinnerCuisine: vegetarianDifficulty: easy
Servings

4

servings
Prep time

5

minutes
Cooking time

10

minutes
Calories

300

kcal

Stuff That Goes In It

  • 2 packets ramen or other instant noodles

  • 1.5 tbsp vegetable oil 


  • 14 oz mushrooms, sliced

  • 2 tsp sesame oil 

  • 5 green onion stems 

  • 1 1/4 cups  water, plus more if you need it

  • SAUCE
  • 1 tbsp dark soy sauce 

  • 1 tbsp Oyster sauce or Hoisin because we are chill like that.

  • 2 tsp Hoisin sauce or more Oyster sauce, it’s still chill

How to Make It

  • Think about writer stereotypes. Think about how you are not a stereotype, are you? As you mix the ingredients for the sauce, realize that you are not a loaner (stereotype #1). You hung out with someone for a 15-minute walk three months ago. A loner wouldn’t do that, would they?
  • There! Ha! Not that stereotype. Now grab the green onion and cut it into little lengths. Keep the white parts together. Keep the green parts together. Don’t mix them up, they are loaners! Or something . . .
  • Put the oil in a big skillet. Turn the heat on high. Add mushrooms. Cook those babies for 3 minutes and think about how you aren’t a bookworm, are you (stereotype #2)? You have legs! Worms don’t have legs, do they?
  • Add sesame oil. Add garlic and sesame oil. Cook and make the mushrooms and garlic a nice golden color.
  • Add that sauce. Stir it. Add white group of those green onions. Cook 1 minute. The mushrooms should be all carmelized and adorable.

    Not so adorable? Stereotype #3, which is WRITER IS A WEIRDO. You are not a weirdo. Yes, you’re obsessed with manatees. But you have social skills! You wash yourself and your clothes. PSHAW on these negative stereotypes
  • Okay. Move those sexy (not in a weird way) mushrooms over to the sides of the skillet so there is an empty space in the middle. Now call this space a well because that’s what cooks call it. Pour in the water and put those noodles in that well.

    Cook it for about 45 seconds.
    Flip it.
    Cook for another 30 seconds.
    Separate the noodles, break them up like the Beatles or you and your last agent.

    Worry that by knowing this about the Beatles (even without seeing the Netflix special) makes you writer stereotype #4 – THE KNOW IT ALL. You know you aren’t though, right? Wait, does knowing you aren’t a know it all actually make you a know it all? ARGH!!!!
  • Now put the green group of onions in there.
    Toss it all up.
    Is it saucy enough? If not, add water.

    Decide that you are not a stereotype. You are a writer, damn it, and writers come in all sorts of forms and are full of difference and that’s what makes us awesome.

Notes

Sangria of Thanksgiving Awesome for Writers Who Need Some Magic, Damn It

In the summer months, the Portuguese part of my family really loved their sangrias, which they usually made from Tempranillo from Rioja, but if things were desperate, they would use Bartles and James.

One of my aunts would shove all sorts of sliced fruit in there, something orange (sometimes booze, sometimes an orange, sometimes both) and put a ton of ice and some sort of soda water. I always thought it was magic. Sometimes I’d get to suck on some of the fruit, which was probably illegal now that I think of it.

This is a more Thanksgiving take on that same thing.

Sangria of Thanksgiving Awesome for Writers Who Need Some Magic

Recipe by CarrieCourse: Uncategorized
Servings

4

servings
Prep time

5

minutes
Cooking timeminutes
Calories

ha

kcal

Stuff That Goes In It

  • 1 cup apple cider

  • 1 750-ml bottle dry white wine

  • ¼ cup orange juice (about one navel orange)

  • ¼ cup brandy, if you are fancy — Calvados

  • Sparkling water or club soda to put on top

  • One apple, cut into ½-inch cubes

  • ¼ cup pomegranate seeds or another apple or pear

How to Make It

  • Look, you’re a writer, you deal in magic. You create worlds and story and happiness. Take a deep breath. It’s your time to have some magic.
  • Find a pitcher that can contain six quarts of fluid. Look up what a quart is. You’re a writer, you’re used to researching things like “how to kill a demonic pixie;” this should be easy.
  • Put fruit in that pitcher. Look at that. Fruit is sort of magical isn’t it, like a narrative arc that makes sense. Gorgeous.
  • Put wine in there because it’s the most important magical ingredient. Think about writing a book with alchemy. Tell yourself you are practicing it right now.
  • Put in the apple cider, juice, and brandy. Wonder if any of your characters drink apple cider. Decide not to worry about it. THIS IS ABOUT YOU AND YOUR NEEDS, WRITER! Not those demanding characters.
  • Put it in the fridge to make it cold. Wait impatiently.
  • Stir it. Top it off with that sparkling water. Drink it and let your mind take you to magical places that do not include dialogue punctuation, character motivation, or plot.

Notes

  • This beautiful, magical recipe is adapted from the fantastic site, Wine Mag, and it’s from Emily Saladino. Hit the link and you’ll get to the real thing. 🙂

Adriatic Ravioli of Clichés

Sometimes, you may get feedback that you don’t agree with and maybe that feedback is that your story is full of clichés . Those poops. This is the comforting recipe for you in that time of need. Avoid those naysayers like the plague! 🙂

Adriatic Ravioli of Clichés

Recipe by Carrie
Servings

4

servings
Prep time

30

minutes
Cooking time

40

minutes
Calories

300

kcal

Stuff That Goes In It

  • 1 lb asparagus — fresh

  • 1 lb cheese ravioli — small, frozen

  • 5 TB butter or margarine

  • 1 lg red bell pepper — cut into skinny, 2-inch-long strips

  • ½ lb mushrooms — thinly sliced

  • 4 lg garlic cloves — peeled and minced

  • 3 TB unbleached white flour

  • 2½ c milk

  • ¼ ts salt

  • 1 ts paprika — plus more if you like to bling out your food

  • 1 TB Dijon mustard

  • ¼ c fresh basil — chopped

  • ½ c Romano cheese — (2 ounces), finely grated

  • Pepper

  • Finely grated Parmesan for serving (more bling)

How to Make It

  • Find a large pot. Think about how that pot is as old as the hills.
  • Put water in the pot.
  • Put that pot on a burner and make that water boil, but don’t watch it! A watched pot never boils. Actually, DO watch it because you don’t want it to boil over.
  • Meanwhile, go find your asparagus and snap off and trash the tough ends. Imagine that you are snapping and discarding the beta reader who said you had too many cliches in your story. That jerk.
  • Cut the asparagus into 1-inch pieces.
  • Steam your asparagus for about 6 to 8 minutes, until it is barely tender and cute as a button.
  • Set it somewhere. Think about why your beta reader and agent hate cliches. You’d thought they were the salt of the earth. Were you wrong?
  • Cook the ravioli. Stir it once in awhile. Begin cooking the ravioli, stirring occasionally. Look at it. It’s in hot water.
  • Find a skillet. Put it on medium heat and melt 1 TB of butter in it. It’s a baptism of fire for that pour butter.
  • Saute the mushrooms, pepper and garlic about three minutes.
  • Take those tender veggies away from the harsh heat.
  • Get the rest of the butter and a big saucepan. Put them on medium heat.
  • Find the flour and whisk it into the butter and do that for about two minutes before slowly pouring in the milk. Do not spill the milk that way you don’t have to cry over it.
  • Keep whisking. It is what it is.
  • Whisk for forever, which is basically 3 to 5 minutes when whisking. Finish in the nick of time, right before your wrist falls off.
  • Add the salt, paprika, mustard, basil, Romano cheese, and pepper and let the good times roll!
  • Stir until the cheese melts. Only time will tell how long that will take.
  • Put the heat on super low and stir in the vegetables. Keep your chin up and ignore those naysayers.
  • Once the ravioli is floating, drain it, put it in a bowl.
  • Put a ring on it. I mean, put the sauce on it.
  • Toss.
  • And last but not least, bling it out with paprika and parmesan.

Notes

  • This awesome recipe is from Ginny Callan’s, Beyond The Moon Cookbook. The vegetarian bible of my youth.
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