Tag: cheap vegetarian

Cooking With a Writer – Ghostly Pizza

As you know, I’m trying desperately to make the family vegetarian and I am TOTALLY failing.
But here is my recipe for Halloween pizza. Halloween is a frantic night for us because we get about 800 – 1,000 trick-or-treaters. So, I tend to make things that are fast and easy like calzone snakes or mummy Stromboli, but this… this, my friends, is the ultimate in easy. It’s sort of embarrassingly easy. Stay tuned below for the story of my first-ever ghost sighting.

Ghostly Pizza

So, sometimes I cheat because on Halloween things get hectic here.

  • 1 lb Frozen Pizza Doug (do not judge)
  • 1 tbsp olive oil
  • .75 cup pizza sauce
  • .5 lb mozarella slices
  • some little capers (for the eyes)
  1. Realize that you have no time to make food that isn’t candy.
  2. Preheat oven to 475ºF.

    Spray bottom of a 16-by-11-inch rimmed baking sheet with the stuff that makes things not stick. Or use olive oil, but olive oil is expensive, so maybe don’t. I mean olive oil is awesome, but we’re already using pre-made pizza dough here so pretension is gone, right?

    Spray the darn sheet.

    Celebrate by eating candy.

  3. Stretch that dough evenly to cover bottom of sheet.

    This is a lot like stretching your 20,000-word story into a 50,000-word novel. You might have to take a couple of rounds, and rest in between to get this stretched.

    Do not give up.

    Celebrate by eating candy.

  4. Open the jar of sauce.

    Cry because you have no wrist strength.

    Celebrate when you finally open the jar. Celebrate by eating candy.

    Spread that sauce over the dough. Try to make it even. Leave a border on all sides of the rectangle. Try to make that border a 1-inch border.

    Celebrate with candy.

    Set a timer. Put it in the oven.

  5. Bake about 15 minutes.

    Celebrate that. Celebrate that with candy.

    Now, you get to have fun! Yay, fun! Remember fun?

    Scrounge up a ghost-shaped cookie cutter and cut ghosts out of cheese.

    That is so cool.

    Put the ghosts on the pizza. It is hot. Be careful. Obviously these ghosts have been hanging out in hell. The sauce is like red flames. And the whole scene is hot.

    Celebrate liberating the ghosts from hell with candy.

    Hide the candy wrappers in the garbage during the final five minutes of baking.

  6. Take the pizza out. Look how cool that is!

    Put caper eyes on each ghost.

    Let is stand for five minutes. Eat it. Eat it with a celebratory side dish of candy.

Man Verdict: It needs meat and more cheese.
My Verdict: Seriously? I’m so full from the candy.
Dogs’ Verdict: We agree with the man. If you’re going to dress us up, the least you can do is add more meat.

Writing News

Last Time Stoppers Book

I love this book baby and you can order my middle grade fantasy novel Time Stoppers Escape From the Badlands here or anywhere.

People call it a cross between Harry Potter and Percy Jackson but it’s set in Maine. It’s full of adventure, quirkiness and heart.

Timestoppers3_005

OUR PODCAST – DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE.

Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness as we talk about random thoughts, writing advice and life tips. We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of. Please share it and subscribe if you can. Please rate and like us if you are feeling kind, because it matters somehow. There’s a new episode every Tuesday!

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I offer solo writing coach services. For more about my individual coaching, click here.

COOL CONTEST OF SPOOKY AWESOMENESS!

Um. MacMillan is having a super cool sweepstakes where you can win the book I wrote with Steve (IN THE WOODS) and four other scary books.
Go enter! Go win! I’m rooting for you! 

IN THE PAPER, BABY

I was just in the newspaper and I think the photo of my head is actually larger than my real-life head. Go figure. It was super kind of them to notice me and to write about me. Here is the link.

LEARN WITH ME AT THE WRITING BARN!

The Write. Submit. Support. format is designed to embrace all aspects of the literary life. This six-month course will offer structure and support not only to our writing lives but also to the roller coaster ride of submissions: whether that be submitting to agents or, if agented, weathering the submissions to editors. We will discuss passes that come in, submissions requests, feedback we aren’t sure about, where we are feeling directed to go in our writing lives, and more. Learn more here! 

“Carrie’s feedback is specific, insightful and extremely helpful. She is truly invested in helping each of us move forward to make our manuscripts the best they can be.”

“Carrie just happens to be one of those rare cases of extreme talent and excellent coaching.”

IN THE WOODS – READ AN EXCERPT, ORDER NOW!

My new book, IN THE WOODS, is out!

Gasp!

It’s with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed!

Order this bad boy, which might make it have a sequel. The sequel would be amazing. Believe me, I know. It features caves and monsters and love. Because doesn’t every story?

In the Woods
In the Woods

I Miss My Mom – Tempura Vegetables

When I was little I decided to be a vegetarian. This was caused by:

  1. Reading Charlotte’s Web.
  2. Reading Where the Red Fern Grows.
  3. Thinking cows are cute.
  4. Not really actually liking meat.

My family was not cool with this decision. My mom would try to sneak meat in the spaghetti sauce. She would moan about me only eating the sides. She would bribe me with stuffing. And she would moan, “THERE ARE NO VEGETARIAN DISHES TO FEED YOU.”

Spoiler alert: My mom was not big on vegetables unless they had cheese on them.

By the time I went to high school, I was basically existing on carbs and apple juice. My boyfriend decided this was terribly wrong and bought my mom a Moosewood Cookbook, which was super sweet of him.

She sighed, flipped through it, read his inscription and said, “There is nothing in here I want to cook!”

But we made her try the tempura vegetables and the cheese bean pot.  It did not convert her from her canned-vegetables, meat-eating ways. But I did appreciate that she tried. I’ve been missing her a lot lately and she’s been showing up in my dreams, standing just a few paces ahead of me. There’s always this moment where I recognize the back of her head.

A lot of my friends have recently lost their moms, too. So, I think I’m mostly sharing this recipe out of mom love and mom missing.

This recipe is mostly influenced from the Moosewood book, but is also influenced by The Spruce Eats, which is a cooking blog you should definitely check out because it’s a real cooking blog, unlike this. 🙂

Tempura Vegetables of Mom Missing

This is taken from a very old copy of the Moosewood Cookbook, mixed a bit with the fantastic The Spruce Eats. And also I totally round-up on the calories. But also, I’m completely guessing on the calories. Shock! 

NOTE: If you use thick veggies like sweet potatoes, you might want to pre-steam them, because they take awhile to cook.

SECOND NOTE: You can add a dash of sesame oil in the oil if you want. 

THIRD NOTE: Try not to overmix the batter. 

  • 2.5 cups cake flour or sifted all purpose flour
  • 2 cups cold water
  • 3 individual egg yolks
  • .5 tsp salt
  • 3-4 cups oil
  • .5 tsp sugar
  • 3 cups vegetables

  1. Look at your beautiful vegetables. Cry at how cute they are.

    Realize the truth: You miss your mom.

    She might be alive. She might be dead. But you miss her. Unless she was a totally sucky mom and then you miss the mom that you should have had. 

    Moms are complicated. 

  2. Dads are complicated, too. Obviously. But we’re focusing on moms right now. No.

    Focus on the vegetables. Think about how you’d like them to look under the tempura batter. Make them into cool pieces. Tiny broccoli floweret trees. Onion slices. Carrot hunks. Cauliflower blossoms. Mushrooms of wholeness if they are little.  

  3. They are so pretty. Wish you could show your mom. Take a photo and show Instagram instead. 

  4. Make the batter. Think of how flour is messy. 

    Beat the egg yolks into water. Then when it is smooth add the flour, salt, and sugar. Keep stirring until the batter is all combined but do not stir forever! 

    Chill that flour for 15 minutes

  5. Heat the oil in a really large pot. Remember how your mom would not let you do this when you were little because she thought you’d burn yourself.

    Try not to burn yourself. 

  6. If you are me, you burn yourself. 

    Do not be me.

  7. Dip veggies in the batter (which is no longer in the fridge). Then drop them into the oil, which should be at least 325-degrees Fahrenheit. 

    Do not burn yourself again. Ban everyone from the kitchen because they will be gasping and telling you not to burn yourself and honest to God that is so distracting that you probably will burn yourself. 

  8. Have someone get the first-aid kit. 

  9. The veggies are done when they are puffy, brown, and have risen to the surface. Maybe we should call them Resurrection Vegetables? That would be cool, actually. Worry that this is offensive somehow. Decide not to call them that just in case. 

    Plop the on some paper towels to soak up extra oil.

  10. Eat those babies with rice and a tamara-ginger sauce. Or just clean and sauce free. 

Man Verdict: I love these. Thank you for not using tomatoes.

Dog Verdict: YES!

Carrie Verdict: My mom would still hate them.

Writing News

Next and Last Time Stoppers Book

It’s  out! You can order my middle grade fantasy novel Time Stoppers Escape From the Badlands here or anywhere.

 

People call it a cross between Harry Potter and Percy Jackson but it’s set in Maine. It’s full of adventure, quirkiness and heart.

Moe Berg

The Spy Who Played Baseball is a picture book biography about Moe Berg. And… there’s a movie out now about Moe Berg, a major league baseball player who became a spy. How cool is that?

You should totally buy Carrie’s book about Moe. It’s awesome and quirky and fun.

OUR PODCAST – DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE.

Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness as we talk about random thoughts, writing advice and life tips. We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of. Please share it and subscribe if you can. Please rate and like us if you are feeling kind, because it matters somehow.

dogs are smarter than people carrie after dark being relentless to get published

Writing Coach

Carrie offers solo writing coach services. For more about Carrie’s individual coaching, click here.

Ebook on Sale for October! 

And finally, for the month of July, my book NEED is on sale in ebook version on Amazon. It’s a cheap way to have an awesome read in a book that’s basically about human-sized pixies trying to start an apocalypse.

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I’m WRITING BARN FACULTY AND THERE’S A COURSE YOU CAN TAKE!

I am super psyched to be teaching the six-month long Write. Submit. Support. class at the Writing Barn!

Are you looking for a group to support you in your writing process and help set achievable goals? Are you looking for the feedback and connections that could potentially lead you to that book deal you’ve been working towards?

Our Write. Submit. Support. (WSS) six-month ONLINE course offers structure and support not only to your writing lives and the manuscripts at hand, but also to the roller coaster ride of submissions: whether that be submitting to agents or, if agented, weathering the submissions to editors.

Past Write. Submit. Support. students have gone on to receive representation from literary agents across the country. View one of our most recent success stories here. 

Apply Now!

I can’t deal with life right now or it’s time for Banana Peanut Butter Toast

Sometimes, life seems like too much.

Sometimes, you’ve been trying to get your household to become vegetarians and you fail and you fail and you fail.

Sometimes, you want to quit all your volunteer organizations and maybe move so that you have a reason to quit that doesn’t make you seem like a quitter.

And so you make this.

I CAN'T DEAL WITH LIFE. WE ARE HAVING PEANUT BUTTER TOAST RECIPE

This recipe is adapted from the much saner version at https://www.wellplated.com/peanut-butter-banana-toast-granola-honey/

  • 4 slices thickish bread (make it hearty, who knows when you will eat again)
  • 4 tbsp peanut butter
  • 3 tbsp honey (It costs so much money. Try not to think about that. Just be psyched it isn't sugar and feel virtuous)
  • 2 big bananas
  • 1 oz granola (if you have it. )

  1. Look. Sometimes life is really hard to deal with. 

  2. And sometimes a writer just can’t deal. 

    Because… life.

  3. So get out a knife that is barely sharp enough to cut a banana and slice the bananas.

    There! Good job! 

  4. At the same time, toast your bread.

    To do this you need a toaster. 

    If you do not have a toaster or it is so full of crumbs that it’s a fire hazard, you can toast the bread in a skillet over medium low-heat on an oven.

  5. Admire toast. Toast is beautiful. 

    YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, WRITER PERSON. You might be having a cruddy day, but you are still amazing. Really. 

  6. Put the peanut butter on the toast and spread it out. 

    Boom. Beautiful!

  7. Put those banana slices on top of the peanut butter.

    Also, put the knife safely away, turn off stove if you used it. Unplug the toaster if you used it. We want safe, healthy writers here. 

  8.  Drizzle that honey on top. 

    Sprinkle granola if you are totally wealthy. 

    Eat! Eat! Writers, need nutrition and calories! 

MAN VERDICT

This makes me happy. What else are we eating?

DOGS’ VERDICT

PEANUT BUTTER IS THE BEST BUTTER!

Gabby the Dog Cooking with a Writer Recipes - Peanut Butter is Awesome
Peanut Butter is Awesome!

CARRIE VERDICT

I feel like I’m seven. I like that.

WRITING NEWS

NEED is on sale for Kindle sales on Amazon for a mere $1,99 this month. Snatch it up! :

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LINK TO BUYING THIS BAD BOY

ENHANCED, the follow-up to FLYING is here! And the books are out of this world. Please buy them and support a writer.

31702754 copy
ENHANCED YA SCIENCE FICTION BY CARRIE JONES

The last TIME STOPPERS BOOK is out and I love it. You should buy it because it’s empowering and about friendship and bias and magic. Plus, dragons and elves.

Timestoppers3_005

How to Get Signed Copies: 

If you would like to purchase signed copies of my books, you can do so through the awesome Sherman’s Book Store in Bar Harbor, Maine or the amazing Briar Patch. The books are also available online at places like Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

For signed copies – email barharbor@shermans.com for Sherman’s or email info@briarpatchbooks.comand let them know the titles in which you are interested. There’s sometimes a waiting list, but they are the best option. Plus, you’re supporting an adorable local bookstore run by some really wonderful humans. But here’s the Amazon link, too!

Art Stuff

You can buy prints of my art here. Thank you so much for supporting my books and me and each other. I hope you have an amazing day.

A new episode of Dogs are Smarter Than People, the quirky podcast with writing tips, life tips and a random thought came out Tuesday! Check it out, like and subscribe!

 

Cooking With a Writer – Avocados Getting All Smoky in the Fajitas

So, still trying to be a vegetarian family out in the camping world… and still sort of failing.

But this week, I made something I TOTALLY loved even if avocados basically cost 8 million dollars in New England and they use up a lot of resources shipping them here.

Sigh.

Now, I can’t eat avocados. BUT YOU CAN!

Here’s the recipe.

Cooking With a Writer Avocados Get Smoky and Fajita Like

Sometimes you just have to avocado it. 

  • .25 cup water
  • 1 tbsp olive oil
  • .75 package (1 oz) fajita seasoning (I use more but I need a lot of seasoning. More can make it sort of salty)
  • 1.5 whole avocado (sliced use the rest to taunt your husband with)
  • 1.5 green pepper (sliced)
  • .5 whole onion (cut into rings; separate the rings)
  • 4 whole tortilla (the six-inchers)

  1. YOU MUST PLAN AHEAD HERE! I am so sorry.

    First, whisk water, oil and seasoning together in a bowl. Then pour it into a big enough bag.

    Add vegetables and make all that marinade stick to them. 

    Marvel at your work.

    Push all the air out of the bag and seal it. This is to keep the avocados from getting that gross color that avocados get. 

    Write a picture book draft about avocados not wanting to get oxidized. Realize this is a bad idea. Browning avocados is just like white people trying to get tan. Maybe those avocados do want to be oxidized, darn it. 

    Confuse yourself thinking about the societal implications of this picture book. 

    Decide to drink wine instead. 

  2. Turn the grill on medium. Oil the grate. 

    Drain all the liquid off the veggies. This seems like a waste of water. Think about writing a picture book about wasting water. 

    Think about the societal implications of wasting water! 

    Dude. This is not good. 

    Go ahead and separate the onions and peppers from the avocados. Sure they were all friends in the tight airless bag, but now… now… they don’t associate with each other anymore, do they? 

    Realize this totally could be a picture book, somehow, but there are so many plot threads. 

    Feel badly for separating the vegetables but then shout, “YOU ARE ALL GOING TO BURN SOON ANYWAY!” 

    There. All is good. 

  3. Burn the onions and peppers first. DON’T REALLY BURN THEM. I’m being silly.

    Using tongs, put then in one layer. Cook until tender. This might be five minutes. It might be 11 minutes. Turn them a couple of times while grilling. 

    Once you’re done, put them in a pan, cover them up and keep them cozy and warm. 

  4. Now, it’s time for the poor lonely avocados. Do the same thing. Turn them. This will take about 5 minutes. 

  5. Take some tortillas. Put all the veggies in there. They are together again! Celebrate by eating them. 

Dog Verdict: No.

Man Verdict: Are these avocados? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME OR TURN ME HIPSTER?

Carrie Verdict: I am enjoying this fajita immensely.

Writing News

Next and Last Time Stoppers Book

It’s out! You can order my middle grade fantasy novel Time Stoppers Escape From the Badlands here or anywhere.

Please buy it so I can keep buying food for the dogs… and stuff…

37584945_10156714893329073_1974569355584733184_n

People call it a cross between Harry Potter and Percy Jackson but it’s set in Maine. It’s full of adventure, quirkiness and heart.

Moe Berg

The Spy Who Played Baseballis a picture book biography about Moe Berg. And… there’s a movie out now about Moe Berg, a major league baseball player who became a spy. How cool is that?

You should totally buy my book about Moe. It’s awesome and quirky and fun.

My Post copy 6

OUR PODCAST DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE.

Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness as we talk about random thoughts, writing advice and life tips. We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of. Please share it and subscribe if you can. Please rate and like us if you are feeling kind, because it matters somehow.

dogs are smarter than people carrie after dark being relentless to get published

Writing Coach

I offer solo writing coach services. For more about my individual coaching, click here.

Appearances

I’ll be at the Maine Literacy Volunteers Festival on September 8. It is in Augusta, Maine.

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