Myths About Presidents
26.
He didn’t
Ride
A moose.
The photo is fake
Like a lot
Of presidential
things.
16.
He dreamt
His death,
Found himself
Waking in a coffin
And asked who
Was dead
In the White
House.
Dream mourners said,
“The president.”
He denied the dream.
Nobody listened.
The story was too good.
9.
He stood
At the podium,
Sworn in
And speechifying
For 8,445 words
In the cold
Of March.
He died
A month later
Of pneumonia
Linked to
His pontification
It was actually bad water
At the White House.
He’d been drinking shit.
1.
His teeth were made of wood.
But really they were just so old
And stained they looked that way.
27.
He did not get stuck in the tub and need
Six men to yank and yank and yank him free.
35
He didn’t call himself
A jelly donut in German.
45.
His toilet
Is not
Gold.
He is not
Christ. Or
Even the
Opposite.
46.
He is
Poor.
1.
He apparently
Could not
Tell
A lie
Unlike
All the others
Who could
Not
Tell
The truth.
Hey, thanks for listening to Carrie Does Poems.
The music you hear is made available through the creative commons and it’s a bit of a shortened track from the fantastic Eric Van der Westen and the track is called “A Feather” and off the album The Crown Lobster Trilogy.
