Myths About Presidents

best undiscovered maine poet Carrie Jones
Carrie Does Poems
Carrie Does Poems
Myths About Presidents
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Myths About Presidents

26.

He didn’t

Ride

A moose.

The photo is fake

Like a lot

Of presidential

things.


16.

He dreamt

His death,

Found himself

Waking in a coffin

And asked who

Was dead

In the White

House.

Dream mourners said,

“The president.”

He denied the dream.

Nobody listened.

The story was too good.


9.

He stood

At the podium,

Sworn in

And speechifying

For 8,445 words

In the cold

Of March.

He died

A month later

Of pneumonia

Linked to

His pontification

It was actually bad water

At the White House.

He’d been drinking shit.


1.

His teeth were made of wood.

But really they were just so old

And stained they looked that way.


27.

He did not get stuck in the tub and need

Six men to yank and yank and yank him free.


35

He didn’t call himself

A jelly donut in German.


45.

His toilet

Is not

Gold.

He is not

Christ. Or

Even the

Opposite.


46.

He is

Poor.


1.

He apparently

Could not

Tell

A lie

Unlike

All the others

Who could

Not

Tell

The truth.


Hey, thanks for listening to Carrie Does Poems.

The music you hear is made available through the creative commons and it’s a bit of a shortened track from the fantastic Eric Van der Westen and the track is called “A Feather” and off the album The Crown Lobster Trilogy.

https://freemusicarchive.org/music/eric-van-der-westen/the-crown-lobster-trilogy-selection

Author: carriejonesbooks

I am the NYT and internationally-bestselling author of children's books, which include the NEED series, FLYING series, TIME STOPPERS series, DEAR BULLY and other books. I like hedgehogs and puppies and warm places. I have none of these things in my life.

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