At the grocery store last night, there were people in the line behind me who were not from Maine. The evidence for this conclusion?
1. They were tan.
2. They had no fleece clothing on.
3. They were really, really tan.
4. They said things like, “Oh, this store is so funny.”
But that isn’t the point.
The point is that there was all this chemistry going on between them. You could hear the air crackle between these tan, wealthy-looking, late 40-somethings. It was obvious they had decided to go on a romantic trip together and that they weren’t married. Evidence?
1. No rings.
That’s all my evidence, actually.
So, I’m getting ingredients for bouillabaisse and the check-out lady, Deb, is finishing up scanning my items and then she grabs the basil.
Rich Lady from Away: Oh, is that the delicious smell I’m smelling?
Deb, the Check-Out Woman: It’s basil.
Deb smiles. Deb is nice.
Rich Lady from Away: Oh, it smells soooooooo delicious I would just like to rub it all over my body.
Deb’s hand freezes. She passes the basil onto the conveyor belt to the Bagging Boy. Deb looks up at me. She makes big eyes. Bagging Boy snorts.
Rich Man from Away: I know what I’d like to rub all over your body.
AIKEEE!!!!! Too much information! Too much information!
Now, I’m going to Revision Land and when I get to page 300 I’m going to reward myself and never think about tan people rubbing basil on their bodies again.
IN THE WOODS – READ AN EXCERPT, ORDER NOW!
My new book, IN THE WOODS, is out!
It’s with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed!
You can order this bad boy, which might make it have a sequel. The sequel would be amazing. Believe me, I know. It features caves and monsters and love. Because doesn’t every story?
You can buy limited-edition prints and learn more about my art here on my site.
PATREON OF AWESOME
You can get exclusive content, early podcasts, videos, art and listen (or read) never-to-be-officially published writings of Carrie on her Patreon. Levels go from $1 to $100 (That one includes writing coaching and editing for you wealthy peeps).
WHAT IS PATREON?
A lot of you might be new to Patreon and not get how it works. That’s totally cool. New things can be scary, but there’s a cool primer HERE that explains how it works. The short of it is this: You give Patreon your paypal or credit card # and they charge you whatever you level you choose at the end of each month. That money supports me sharing my writing and art and podcasts and weirdness with you.