Marsie the Cat: Human, I hear you are thinking of abandoning your identity and starting all over from scratch.
Me: How would you “hear” this?
Marsie: Cats are telepathic.
Me: What am I thinking right now then?
Marsie: That you want me to sit on your arm and knead it with my claws until the pain makes you forget that you want to make a whole new identity and then you will be so grateful that you will give me poached ahi tuna and also make the dogs stop raiding my kitty litter box.
Marsie: What? Are those not your thoughts?
Me: I think those are your thoughts, buddy.
Marsie: My thoughts should be yours. I am cat.
Me: Maybe my new identity should be cat.