Hey! It’s Cooking With a Writer, real recipes, but um . . . a weird writer take on them. I always source my recipes, but I can’t verify if they are the originals.
Mushroom Ramen Noodles of Writerly StereotypesCourse: DinnerCuisine: vegetarianDifficulty: easy
Stuff That Goes In It
2 packets ramen or other instant noodles
1.5 tbsp vegetable oil
14 oz mushrooms, sliced
2 tsp sesame oil
5 green onion stems
1 1/4 cups water, plus more if you need it
1 tbsp dark soy sauce
1 tbsp Oyster sauce or Hoisin because we are chill like that.
2 tsp Hoisin sauce or more Oyster sauce, it’s still chill
How to Make It
- Think about writer stereotypes. Think about how you are not a stereotype, are you? As you mix the ingredients for the sauce, realize that you are not a loaner (stereotype #1). You hung out with someone for a 15-minute walk three months ago. A loner wouldn’t do that, would they?
- There! Ha! Not that stereotype. Now grab the green onion and cut it into little lengths. Keep the white parts together. Keep the green parts together. Don’t mix them up, they are loaners! Or something . . .
- Put the oil in a big skillet. Turn the heat on high. Add mushrooms. Cook those babies for 3 minutes and think about how you aren’t a bookworm, are you (stereotype #2)? You have legs! Worms don’t have legs, do they?
- Add sesame oil. Add garlic and sesame oil. Cook and make the mushrooms and garlic a nice golden color.
- Add that sauce. Stir it. Add white group of those green onions. Cook 1 minute. The mushrooms should be all carmelized and adorable.
Not so adorable? Stereotype #3, which is WRITER IS A WEIRDO. You are not a weirdo. Yes, you’re obsessed with manatees. But you have social skills! You wash yourself and your clothes. PSHAW on these negative stereotypes
- Okay. Move those sexy (not in a weird way) mushrooms over to the sides of the skillet so there is an empty space in the middle. Now call this space a well because that’s what cooks call it. Pour in the water and put those noodles in that well.
Cook it for about 45 seconds.
Cook for another 30 seconds.
Separate the noodles, break them up like the Beatles or you and your last agent.
Worry that by knowing this about the Beatles (even without seeing the Netflix special) makes you writer stereotype #4 – THE KNOW IT ALL. You know you aren’t though, right? Wait, does knowing you aren’t a know it all actually make you a know it all? ARGH!!!!
- Now put the green group of onions in there.
Toss it all up.
Is it saucy enough? If not, add water.
Decide that you are not a stereotype. You are a writer, damn it, and writers come in all sorts of forms and are full of difference and that’s what makes us awesome.
- The stereotypes used come from a Medium article by Flynn Hannan. https://medium.com/writers-republic/writer-stereotypes-ef5cbd228054
- The actual recipe is sourced from the lovely and brilliant Nagi on Recipe Tin Eats and the link is here: https://www.recipetineats.com/asian-mushroom-ramen-noodle-recipe/