Okay. I’m still talking about deviled eggs because? Well, you’ll see.

Tips on Making Deviled Eggs

1. Here’s a hint: They are called devilled eggs for a reason.

2. And, no, it is not because of the little hint of jalepeno that gives them a kick.

3. It’s because you have to HARD BOIL the little suckers first, and there are all these rules about boiling them. 

Yes, rules about boiling an egg. 

4. Boiling an egg should be simple.

5. It isn’t. 

6. It really isn’t simple if you get distracted by the fact that the 90-second rice pouch you put in the microwave just exploded.

7. But this is about eggs, not exploding rice pouches.

8. So, if you manage to boil the egg, then plunge the poor thing in cold, cold water, you must then PEEL THE EGG!

9. Eggs are not meant to be peeled. This is why they are eggs. Not bananas.

10. If you have happy, young fresh eggs they are harder to peel. The old buggers are better. 

11. Be prepared to sacrifice many, many eggs in your egg peeling quest for the perfect egg to devil.

11. Once, eggs are peeled, halved, and stuffed do not be offended when people in house say, “Holy crud. It’s like the egg has acne pits or something.”

12. Do not be offended when people in the house say, “Um? Are you sure this is a devilled egg? Should it be all wobbly like this? And gooey? It’s kind of gooey.”

13. Do not be offended when people in the house say, “Next time, can we just buy the premade kind in the grocery store.”

14. And do not have hurt feelings when they do not celebrate with you because you keep saying, “But look at the yolk. It isn’t green. That’s a big achievement, not to have green yolks.”

15. Do not throw eggs at them.

16. Or men in banana suits.

17 Just accept that you are not a gifted devilled egg maker. We can not be gifted in all things eggy. You are a good scrambler. Be happy with this.



My next book, IN THE WOODS, appears in July with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed! 

You can preorder this bad boy, which might make it have a sequel. The sequel would be amazing. Believe me, I know. It features caves and monsters and love. Because doesn’t every story?

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On February first, I launched my Patreon site where I’m reading chapters (in order) of a never-published teen fantasy novel, releasing deleted scenes and art from some of my more popular books. And so much more. Come hang out with me! Get cool things! 

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A lot of you might be new to Patreon and not get how it works. That’s totally cool. New things can be scary, but there’s a cool primer HERE that explains how it works. The short of it is this: You give Patreon your paypal or credit card # and they charge you whatever you level you choose at the end of each month. That money supports me sharing my writing and art and podcasts and weirdness with you. 

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Stuffed Eggs

Print Recipe

Stuffed Eggs

Eggs stuffed with Stuff

Stuffed Egg Recipe

Cuisine american

Prep Time 20 minutes
Cook Time 0 minutes
Passive Time 0 minutes



Cuisine american

Prep Time 20 minutes
Cook Time 0 minutes
Passive Time 0 minutes



Stuffed Egg Recipe

  1. Hard boil the eggs. Feel positive. You've got this.

  2. Peel the eggs.

  3. Cut the eggs in half.

  4. Worry about the eggs. It must be hard to be boiled, peeled, and cut in half. It feels like having your book reviewed.

  5. Find wine.

  6. Sip it like the writer you are and DO NOT CHUG it because some random reviewer is probably watching right now and judging.

  7. Be thankful that there aren't life reviewers.

  8. Remember to be grateful that there are book reviewers because even if they hated your book that's okay. It means one other person beside your mom actually read the book.

  9. Toast book reviewers.

  10. Continue cooking. Scoop out the yolks. Mash those yolks and then add mayo and mustard.

  11. Season it. Think of how you can use these stuffed eggs as an objective correlative of your life.

  12. Decide against that. Drink another sip. REMEMBER NOT TO GUZZLE!

  13. Season the yolk mixture. Put it inside the white part of the eggs' empty cavity. Look at you replacing what was lost and making things better and tastier. Feel proud writer.

  14. Cut tomatoes in half. Be careful because you've had wine and now you're using a knife.

  15. Put each tomato half on top of a tiny piece of lettuce.

  16. It looks so pretty! EAT THEM ALL! DO NOT SHARE! You deserve it writer, plus low carbs. WIN!