SHEET PAN DINNER RECIPE FOR WRITERS WHO ARE NOT DOING WELL
Stuff That Goes In It
2 (15 ounce) cans chickpeas, rinsed and drained
½ butternut squash – peeled, seeded, and cut into 1-inch pieces
1 onion, diced
1 sweet potato, peeled and cut into 1-inch cubes
2 large carrots, cut into 1 inch pieces
3 medium russet potatoes, cut into 1-inch pieces
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon ground black pepper
1 teaspoon onion powder
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon ground fennel seeds
1 teaspoon dried rubbed sage
2 green onions, chopped (Optional)
How to Make It
- It’s happened.
You have realized it, little author.
Writing is a f-ed up business and it’s not all in your control. You’ve gotten rejected again because the market allegedly isn’t into time-traveling hamsters for YA novels. Pshaw!
So go, preheat the oven 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
Find a large sheet pan and grease it. Pretend it’s your readership. You want them to be prepared.
- You gave up on traditional publishing and have done everything you could to sell books. Bought Publisher’s Rocket, joined Facebook groups, read a million craft books. And you’ve sold two. To your mom.
It’s okay. You’re a writer not a marketer.
Put the chickpeas, potatoes (both kinds), squash, carrots and onions on the sheet pan.
These are your books. They are all there. They are beautiful. Now drizzle some oil on them and toss them around so the oil is everywhere.
Wish them luck.
- Combine the spices (salt counts) in a bowl or something. God knows.
Sprinkle onto the veggies.
Toss it all again, damn it. Cry. Think about pen names.
- Think about Chuck Wendig’s latest post about dealing with the writing business where he says:
“I cannot control geopolitics and global pandemics. I cannot control whether the editor who’s had my novel on their desk for nine months will happen to pick it up on a day they ate some bad charcuterie and can’t focus because they need to run to the loo every ten minutes. I can’t control markets, reviewers, who else publishes the day my book comes out, or even (very frequently on the trad side of publishing) my covers and titles.
“But I can control other things. I control the effort I put into my craft. I’ve now written twenty-two novels, and by the time you read this, it might be twenty-three. LOOK TO THE SUN was my tenth.
“I can control whether I keep going or take a break, whether I give up altogether or come running back to the game. I am responsible for whatever ends up on my pages.”
- Put the pan in the oven for 25 minutes.
Cook it 20 minutes more. Your novels should be done. The effort was worth it. The chickpeas are a little crisp like a good plot. The veggies are lightly browned like some nice emotional development. Call it good.
Write again tomorrow.
Add salt or pepper and green onion if you feel like it. Call it good.
- This recipe is much more readable and inspired by the lovely recipe here by Kim on Allrecipes.