| Prep Time | 15 minutes |
| Cook Time | 30 minutes |
| Passive Time | 0 minutes |
| Servings |
people
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- 2 tbsp olive oil
- .75 pound white mushrooms slice
- .5 pound cool mushrooms shitake, a mix, something not white, sliced
- 2 cloves garlic minced
- 2 oz sherry or red wine those ounces be fluid
- 1 cup whipping cream aka heavy cream
- 8 oz fettuccine
- 1.5 teaspoons thyme chopped
- 1.5 teaspoons tarragon chopped
- 3 teaspoons chives chopped
- 9 tablespoons parmesan or romano cheese shredded
- whatever you want salt and pepper
Ingredients
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- Sometimes you need love. So you heat oil in a large skillet via the heat rank of medium, right?
- Watch that oil slowly bubble up the way love does.
- When the oil is warm put those mushrooms in there and stir it up. Sure, the mushroom shrink eventually, but look at how they all seem to love each other. A writer's life should be like that, right? Building each other up instead of tearing down. Add a little salt because we are salty people.
- Brown those mushrooms, which will take about 10 minutes.
- Put some garlic in with the mushrooms and the tiny bit of salty writer personality.
- Garlic is the smell of warm nights and memoirs by ladies in their 40s. Look beyond this.
- Cook the garlic for 1 minute. Add the sherry and/or red wine. This is the smell of ladies reading other ladies' memoirs and feeling envious. Watch that wine evaporate.
- Try to not let your love hopes evaporate. You're a writer and you need love. You also need health care. Sometimes these magical things come together in the form of a spouse with a job that has benefits.
- Add chicken stock. Add pepper and salt to taste. Get it warm enough to simmer and then cool things back down like you're in a romantic comedy and you have commitment issues.
- Cook about five minutes. It will be a thicker substance, sort of like a writer in a relationship after five years of steady meals and healthcare.
- Add cream. Stir. Simmer it for another five. It should get thicker because you're at the 10 minute/year relationship mark and this is to be expected.
- Hey! Did you forget about the pasta? MAKE THE PASTA! I know! I know, we were all focused on the sexy, love part of the relationship - the tasty part, but we need structure and a good foundation, too.
- Cook the pasta and when it's done, drain it. Don't rinse it. Put it in a bowl.
- Go back to your creamy, sexy mushroom mixture and all of those chopped things (tarragon, chives, thyme) and turn off the heat. That's a hard phrase to write when you're talking about love, but trust me and do it.
- Stir in the cheese - ½ cup of it Let it melt.
- Mix all this up with the pasta. Then use the rest of the cheese and sprinkle it on top to make the Love Pasta look pretty like an Instagram photo.
Sometimes when it’s winter, you just need a little love. For me, mushrooms are all about love. They are my favorite food.
My mom said she developed a mushroom allergy when I was growing up and she’d cough whenever she smelled or spotted a mushroom, which isn’t exactly how mushroom allergies worked. But she had an aversion to them at least.
How do I know it wasn’t an allergy?
Because I saw her accidentally eat mushrooms that were mixed into things SO MANY TIMES and nothing happened. This isn’t to say food allergies aren’t horrifying and legit things, it’s just to say that my mom (in her super intriguing ways) wasn’t actually allergic to mushrooms.
So much like birds, feathers, deep water, all things bird, spiders and eventually cats, mushrooms were not allowed in our lives until I moved out and I fully embraced the joy of all things mushroom.
Man Verdict: This is amazing and I am so sorry I accidentally flipped the pot over in the dishwasher and all the left overs were in it. I have never felt so ashamed.
My Verdict: I still love you.
Dogs’ Verdict: We really appreciate you spilling that pasta all over the floor and letting us clean it up. BEST RECIPE EVER!
WRITING AND OTHER NEWS
IN THE WOODS – READ AN EXCERPT, PREORDER NOW!
My next book, IN THE WOODS, appears in July with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed!
You can preorder this bad boy, which might make it have a sequel. The sequel would be amazing. Believe me, I know. It features caves and monsters and love. Because doesn’t every story?
HEAR MY BOOK BABY (AND MORE) ON PATREON
On February first, I’m going to launch my Patreon site where I’ll be reading chapters (in order) of a never-published teen fantasy novel, releasing deleted scenes and art from some of my more popular books. And so much more.
WHAT IS PATREON?
A lot of you might be new to Patreon and not get how it works. That’s totally cool. New things can be scary, but there’s a cool primer HERE that explains how it works. The short of it is this: You give Patreon your paypal or credit card # and they charge you whatever you level you choose at the end of each month. That money supports me sharing my writing and art and podcasts and weirdness with you.
HELP US AND DO AN AWESOME GOOD DEED
Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness on the DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE podcast as we talk about random thoughts, writing advice and life tips. We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of. Please share it and subscribe if you can. Please rate and like us if you are feeling kind, because it matters somehow. There’s a new episode every Tuesday!
BE A PART OF THE PODCAST!
Hey! If you download the Anchor application, you can call into the podcast, record a question, or just say ‘hi,’ and we’ll answer. You can be heard on our podcast! Sa-sweet!
No question is too wild. But just like Shaun does, try not to swear, okay?
Here is the link to the mobile app and our bonus podcast below.
ART.
I do art stuff. You can find it and buy a print here.
TIME STOPPERS!
You can order my middle grade fantasy novel Time Stoppers Escape From the Badlands here or anywhere.
People call it a cross between Harry Potter and Percy Jackson but it’s set in Maine. It’s full of adventure, quirkiness and heart.
MOE BERG
The Spy Who Played Baseball is a picture book biography about Moe Berg. And… there’s a movie out now about Moe Berg, a major league baseball player who became a spy. How cool is that?
It’s awesome and quirky and fun.
FLYING AND ENHANCED
Men in Black meet Buffy the Vampire Slayer? You know it. You can buy them here or anywhere. It’s fun, accessible science fiction. Who knew there was such a thing?
