BUTT IN CHAIR Mushroom Burgers

Mushroom Burgers of BUTT IN CHAIR

Recipe by CarrieCourse: DinnerCuisine: vegetarianDifficulty: Medium


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Cooking time


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Stuff That Goes In It

  • 2 cups finely chopped fresh mushrooms

  • 2 large eggs, lightly beaten

  • 1/2 cup dry bread crumbs

  • 1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese

  • 1/2 cup finely chopped onion

  • 1/4 cup all-purpose flour

  • 1/2 teaspoon salt

  • 1/4 teaspoon dried thyme

  • 1/4 teaspoon pepper

  • 1 tablespoon canola oil

  • 4 hamburger buns, split

  • Optional: Sliced tomatoes and mayonnaise and lettuce and raw onion and cool condiments like crispy chili

How to Make It

  • Stand up. Shake your fist at all those writing mentors who say, “To write you have to put your butt in the chair.”

    Ha! Like it’s that easy?

    Writing isn’t just about sitting!

    It’s also about nourishment, nourishing the muse, and also your stomach, damn it.

    Let’s make burgers! Where we don’t kill any animals.
  • Find a really large bowl. You can’t do that in front of your computer, can you? Well, you can, but you can’t put the first 9 ingredients into that bowl.
  • Combine all those ingredients. Think about how nice it is to be out of a chair.
  • The whole “butt in chair” thing comes from Mary Heaton Vorse who told author Sinclair Lewis, “The art of writing is the art of applying the seat of the pants to the seat of the chair.”
  • Feel a little angry at her even though she is dead and was probably cool and stuff. But you can stand and write, too. Or flop down. It isn’t all about the chair, Mary!
  • Take some calming breaths and shape the stuff in the bowl into four 3/4-in.-thick patties.

    Google Mary. Realize she was a novelist and social activist. Feel guilty about thinking ill of her.

    She also wrote creepy things.
  • Find a big and heavy skillet.

    Use those writer wrist muscles to lift the skillet onto the burner.

    Put oil in.

    Turn the burner onto medium.

    Wonder if you can earn money blogging on Medium.

    Decide no.

    Bet Mary made a lot of money.

    Add burgers; cook about 3-4 minutes on each side; they should be a nice light brown color.
  • Put the burgers on buns and add the stuff you want to add.

    Find Mary’s “Sinister Romance” story online. Read it.

    Eat standing up and toast Mary. 🙂


  • This recipe is adapted from Taste of Home