Cooking With a Writer – Vampire Tempeh Kabobs

When I First Started Writing, Vampires were really popular.

And it turns out that when I make kabobs?

I think about vampires.

Vampires are kind of the opposites of vegetarians (usually), but what the heck, right?

It’s vegetarian kabobs with a vampy twist.

 

 

Tempeh Kabobs My Friend

  • 1 8 oz tempeh
  • 16 whole mushrooms (white)
  • 16 whole cherry tomatoes
  • 1 whole red pepper

For marinade

  • 8 tbsp tamari (cut into 1.5-inch pieces)
  • 3 tbsp honey
  • 7 tbsp olive oil
  • 1 tbsp garlic (chopped)
  • 1 tbsp ginger root (granted)

For Couscous

  • 1 package couscous
  • 1 cup raisins or cran-raisins
  • 1 cup chickpeas
  • 1 whole lemon
  • 2 tsp cumin
  1. Find a plastic bag.

    Ponder the use of plastics in this world. Wonder if the vampire teeth you bought for Halloween will ever be used again

    Cry a little because the world is too full of plastic and fake vampire teeth and plastic bags. 

    Put the tempeh, mushrooms, and veggies in the bag. 

  2. Find a bowl. Be grateful it’s not plastic. Wonder if vampires collect blood in bowls. 

    Whisk  oil, tamari, and honey together Add 1 tbs ginger, 1 tbsp garlic, and salt and pepper.

  3. Pour stuff in the bowl into the bag. Seal bag. Shake bag. Refrigerate – 2 hours. Write a screenplay about vampires collecting plastic teeth in bowls. 

  4. Hit medium-high heat on grill. Make skewers. 

    This seems sort of like torture. Cherry tomatoes are squirting blood everywhere! 

    Yikes.

    OH MY GOSH! SKEWERS ARE LIKE STAKES! YOU KILL VAMPIRES WITH STAKES! 

    Maybe you should write a vampire novel instead of a screenplay because you could have fun describing this.  Yes. Yes, you could. . . 

  5. Make couscous according to directions., BUT BE A REBEL VAMPIRE and add 1 tablespoon ginger, cumin, and salt during the cooking.

    When it is all done cooking add in the raisins and garbanzo beans.  

  6. Grill skewers. Turn them a lot. 

    When they look done to your liking eat them with the couscous and left-over marinade. 

    Feel undead.

    Like it. 

 

Dog Verdict: No.

Man Verdict: THERE ARE TOMATOES ON HERE.

Me: You can pick tomatoes off.

Man: They have contaminated everything! Everything!

Me (eats man’s tomatoes): I like this.

Marsie the cat

If you all remember the whole point of this is to try to convince The Man to become a vegetarian. So… I probably shouldn’t have added the tomatoes. Marsie the Cat agrees this was a bad move.

 

Writing News

Our podcast DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE is still chugging along. Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness. We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of.

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31702754 copy

ENHANCED PAPERBACK RELEASE!

This is the book that I forgot was coming out. I am so sorry, little book!

Carrie Jones, the New York Times bestselling author of Flying, presents another science fiction adventure of cheerleader-turned-alien-hunter Mana in Enhanced.

Seventeen-year-old Mana has found and rescued her mother, but her work isn’t done yet. Her mother may be out of alien hands, but she’s in a coma, unable to tell anyone what she knows.

Mana is ready to take action. The only problem? Nobody will let her. Lyle, her best friend and almost-boyfriend (for a minute there, anyway), seems to want nothing to do with hunting aliens, despite his love of Doctor Who. Bestie Seppie is so desperate to stay out of it, she’s actually leaving town. And her mom’s hot but arrogant alien-hunting partner, China, is ignoring Mana’s texts, cutting her out of the mission entirely.

They all know the alien threat won’t stay quiet for long. It’s up to Mana to fight her way back in.

“Witty dialogue and flawless action.”—VOYA

“YA readers, you’re in for a treat this week. Hilarious and action-packed, this novel is sure to be the perfect summer read.”—Bookish 

“Funny and playful, with a diverse cast of characters and a bit of romance and adventure, Flying is the perfect light summer read.”—BookPage

Order Your Copy:

amazon bn booksamillion  indiebound

Cough. That was pretty self-promotional, wasn’t it?

The Final Time Stoppers Book

What is it? It’s the third TIME STOPPERS book! It’s also one of the reasons that I forgot about ENHANCED’s release.

Time Stopper Annie’s newfound home, the enchanted town Aurora, is in danger. The vicious Raiff will stop at nothing to steal the town’s magic, and Annie is the only one who can defeat him–even though it’s prophesied that she’ll “fall with evil.”

Alongside her loyal band of friends Eva, Bloom, SalGoud, and Jamie, who still isn’t quite sure whether he’s a troll or not, Annie journeys deep into the Raiff’s realm, the Badlands. The group will face everything from ruthless monsters to their own deepest fears. Can Annie find the courage to confront the Raiff and save everyone, even if it means making the ultimate sacrifice?

What People are Saying About The Books:

An imaginative blend of fantasy, whimsy, and suspense, with a charming cast of underdog characters . . . This new fantasy series will entice younger fans of Harry Potter and Percy Jackson.” –  School Library Journal

“The characters show welcome kindness and poignant insecurity, and the text sprinkles in humor . . . and an abundance of magical creatures.” Kirkus Reviews on QUEST FOR THE GOLDEN ARROW

“An imaginative blend of fantasy, whimsy, and suspense, with a charming cast of underdog characters . . . This new fantasy series will entice younger fans of Harry Potter and Percy Jackson.” – School Library Journal on TIME STOPPERS

How to Get Signed Copies: 

If you would like to purchase signed copies of my books, you can do so through the awesome Sherman’s Book Store in Bar Harbor, Maine or the amazing Briar Patch. The books are also available online at places like Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

For signed copies – email barharbor@shermans.com for Sherman’s or email info@briarpatchbooks.comand let them know the titles in which you are interested. There’s sometimes a waiting list, but they are the best option. Plus, you’re supporting an adorable local bookstore run by some really wonderful humans. But here’s the Amazon link, too!

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