When I First Started Writing, Vampires were really popular.
And it turns out that when I make kabobs?
I think about vampires.
Vampires are kind of the opposites of vegetarians (usually), but what the heck, right?
It’s vegetarian kabobs with a vampy twist.
Tempeh Kabobs My Friend
- 1 8 oz tempeh
- 16 whole mushrooms (white)
- 16 whole cherry tomatoes
- 1 whole red pepper
For marinade
- 8 tbsp tamari (cut into 1.5-inch pieces)
- 3 tbsp honey
- 7 tbsp olive oil
- 1 tbsp garlic (chopped)
- 1 tbsp ginger root (granted)
For Couscous
- 1 package couscous
- 1 cup raisins or cran-raisins
- 1 cup chickpeas
- 1 whole lemon
- 2 tsp cumin
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Find a plastic bag.
Ponder the use of plastics in this world. Wonder if the vampire teeth you bought for Halloween will ever be used again
Cry a little because the world is too full of plastic and fake vampire teeth and plastic bags.
Put the tempeh, mushrooms, and veggies in the bag.
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Find a bowl. Be grateful it’s not plastic. Wonder if vampires collect blood in bowls.
Whisk oil, tamari, and honey together Add 1 tbs ginger, 1 tbsp garlic, and salt and pepper.
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Pour stuff in the bowl into the bag. Seal bag. Shake bag. Refrigerate – 2 hours. Write a screenplay about vampires collecting plastic teeth in bowls.
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Hit medium-high heat on grill. Make skewers.
This seems sort of like torture. Cherry tomatoes are squirting blood everywhere!
Yikes.
OH MY GOSH! SKEWERS ARE LIKE STAKES! YOU KILL VAMPIRES WITH STAKES!
Maybe you should write a vampire novel instead of a screenplay because you could have fun describing this. Yes. Yes, you could. . .
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Make couscous according to directions., BUT BE A REBEL VAMPIRE and add 1 tablespoon ginger, cumin, and salt during the cooking.
When it is all done cooking add in the raisins and garbanzo beans.
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Grill skewers. Turn them a lot.
When they look done to your liking eat them with the couscous and left-over marinade.
Feel undead.
Like it.
Dog Verdict: No.
Man Verdict: THERE ARE TOMATOES ON HERE.
Me: You can pick tomatoes off.
Man: They have contaminated everything! Everything!
Me (eats man’s tomatoes): I like this.
If you all remember the whole point of this is to try to convince The Man to become a vegetarian. So… I probably shouldn’t have added the tomatoes. Marsie the Cat agrees this was a bad move.
Writing News
Our podcast DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE is still chugging along. Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness. We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of.

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