Grover and John, Writers’ Inner Cheerleaders and Inner Critics

For those of you who don’t know me, or know that I’m crazy, let me explain about Grover and John.

Sometimes when you are a writer you become paralyzed by fear. 

Come on my dear. Write! Just 1,000 words. You can do it. 

No! No! I couldn’t possibly!

You think you suck. You worry about tiny two-word phrases in reviews that could possibly be negative. You wonder if you are totally unoriginal, if you have anything to say, and even if you do have something to say, why say it?

I CAN’T DO THIS!! is often our writing mantra.

This attitude basically leads to sitting in front of the computer staring, or sometimes throwing yourself on the couch and having a good cry.

To combat this, I’ve enlisted Grover and John Wayne.

Grover is the nice one. He disco celebrates with me. 

Let’s dance, Cawwie!

He occasionally deposits raunchy sexual hints.

Oh, Cawwie. You can do it. Do you want to pet my kitty? 

He makes me feel better and when all else fails we just get totally tanked together and talk about the good times.

I am trying to find a source for this image. If it is yours, please let me know.

Do you remember when your books were on the New York Times bestsellers’ list, Cawwie? That can happen again.

God love you for a liar, Grover.

And then there is John, the Inner Critic.


John is the task masker, the enforcer. He gets out that big gun (Do not say anything sexual, Grover) and gets me to work. 

I mean it kid, I am sick to death of all this whining. 

He tells me not to feel sorry for myself or wimp out. 

Do you really want to deal with this, little woman, huh? You want to have a piece of this? 


Today is a John day. Blah.

Take a look at this, Carrie. It’ll make you feel better. I’m a cookie jar.


Yeah, great John.

But anyway, we all have inner cheerleaders and inner critics, but we tend to pay much more attention to those inner critics, those storylines telling us we suck, we’ll fail, that there’s no point. Those critics? They need to be banished. We need to cultivate and listen to our inner cheerleaders instead.

Why?

Because there is enough negative forces out there in this world that we navigate bashing against us. We don’t need to join them. We don’t need to bash ourselves, too. Often the first step to success in our lives and the first to making lasting positive change in this world, is to embrace the good, the positive, to cultivate it, to grow it in ourselves and others. Spread that. Be your own damn cheerleader and cheer on others, too.

WRITING NEWS

THE NETHERLANDS IS AWESOME

Steve Wedel and I wrote a super creepy book a few years back called After Obsession and it’s making a big freaking splash in the amazing Netherlands thanks to Dutch Venture Publishing and its leader Jen Minkman. 

Check out this spread in a Dutch magazine. I met a whole bunch of Dutch readers last Friday and let me tell you? They are the best. 

IN THE WOODS – READ AN EXCERPT, ORDER NOW!

My new book, IN THE WOODS, is out!

Gasp! 

It’s with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed! 

You can order this bad boy, which might make it have a sequel. The sequel would be amazing. Believe me, I know. It features caves and monsters and love. Because doesn’t every story?

In the Woods
In the Woods


ART NEWS

You can buy limited-edition prints and learn more about my art here on my site. 

PATREON OF AWESOME

You can get exclusive content, early podcasts, videos, art and listen (or read) never-to-be-officially published writings of Carrie on her Patreon. Levels go from $1 to $100 (That one includes writing coaching and editing for you wealthy peeps). 

Check it out here. 

WHAT IS PATREON? 

A lot of you might be new to Patreon and not get how it works. That’s totally cool. New things can be scary, but there’s a cool primer HERE that explains how it works. The short of it is this: You give Patreon your paypal or credit card # and they charge you whatever you level you choose at the end of each month. That money supports me sharing my writing and art and podcasts and weirdness with you. 

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Muppet Resolutions

This past 10 days I’ve been doing throw-back posts because I’m so super busy, but also because it’s sort of cool to look back and the old you, and the things you once thought and/or posted.

The old me was a little obsessed with Grover. And this post? It comes from January 1, 2008, which ended up being a really good year for me despite losing an election and a marriage. Whoa… I know, right? You’d think that would make a year suck. It didn’t. It actually made the year interesting and full of growth and helped me move on to this next stage, which I really like.

Here is the post! I hope you like it, THE WAY I’m LIKING THIS STAGE IN MY LIFE.

Last week I took Grover for a little field trip to a wedding. It was Grover’s first car ride and he was feeling a little bit cocky. You know, all LET ME DRIVE! LET ME DRIVE!

Grover: Pretty please with a cookie on top? 

I am a softie, so I let him drive even though the speed limit on the Maine turnpike was 45 or something ridiculous like that because of the massive amounts of snow trundling down from the sky.

Grover: I LOVE DRIVING CAWWIE!
Grover, dude, can you actually see the road?
No. I drive by the power of Grover Zen.
That’s so cool Grover, that’s how I drive too.

But any way… we made it. Here are my New Year’s Resolutions via Grover. They are in second person. I’m not sure why.

1. When you see the ice cream truck or any other good thing coming up YOU MUST SQUEE and SQUEE LOUDLY! Do not be afraid to squee.

SQUEE!

  • 2. Don’t be afraid, just embrace your inner dork.
  • 3. Remember to smile when you are at a wedding and someone takes your picture even though you HATE pictures. Also remember to carry that joy from the wedding into everything else you do.

 Me: Doesn’t Sarah look beautiful, Grover?

Grover: Aw, Cawwie. She is the hottest bride ever. Look at her red hair. Look at her dark dress. Why did you leave me, the adorable monster, in the car?

Because, I know you, Grover. You’re kind of a horn dog.

I am not! Grover is NOT a horn dog. 

I’ve seen you hump the steering wheel, Grover. I know what you’re about. 

Aw, Cawwie. Even Muppets have needs. 

I wanted Sarah to have a nice wedding, Grover… oh… ack. Let’s continue on here. 

  • 4. Sometimes when things have you down, it’s okay to just pass out.

and always ALWAYS remember to bring a barf bag because sometimes all the joy and fear that comes with being a writer and a human and/or a Muppet can get to you

Grover: Oh, Cawwie. How could you post this? 

I told you not to eat ALL the ice cream in the 18-wheeler carrying the Ben and Jerry’s, Grover. You are not the ice cream monster and you are lactose intolerant, silly.

  • 5. Honor all the people and/or muppets you’ve ever been and that you still have yet to become.
This is the creepiest photo I could find of past Carrie and her hand-me-down stuffed animals. Check out the wallpaper.

And that’s it! Those are the best resolutions I can think of – with Grover’s help. I hope you have an amazing 2019.

Be a Part of the Podcast!

Hey! If you download the Anchor application, you can call into the podcast, record a question, or just say ‘hi,’ and we’ll answer. You can be heard on our podcast! Sa-sweet!

No question is too wild. But just like Shaun does, try not to swear, okay?

Here is the link to the mobile app.

You can also support the podcast monetarily (cough) via this link . Your support helps us justify doing this and also buys dog treats.

Blog Break – Sort Of

It’s a big holiday week here and so Carrie is going to be taking a bit of a blog break for the next two weeks. There will be a new podcast next Tuesday, but other than that? It’s a little time for Carrie’s brain to recharge and rest. So, she’ll be posting random blogs from her past. Thank you for understanding!

WRITING AND OTHER NEWS

ART.

I do art stuff. You can find it and buy a print here. 

TIME STOPPERS!

You can order my middle grade fantasy novel Time Stoppers Escape From the Badlands here or anywhere.

People call it a cross between Harry Potter and Percy Jackson but it’s set in Maine. It’s full of adventure, quirkiness and heart.

Time Stoppers Carrie Jones Middle grade fantasy

MOE BERG 

The Spy Who Played Baseball is a picture book biography about Moe Berg. And… there’s a movie out now about Moe Berg, a major league baseball player who became a spy. How cool is that?

It’s awesome and quirky and fun.

FLYING AND ENHANCED

Men in Black meet Buffy the Vampire Slayer? You know it. You can buy them hereor anywhere.

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Flying

OUR PODCAST – DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE.

Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness as we talk about random thoughts, writing advice and life tips. We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of. Please share it and subscribe if you can. Please rate and like us if you are feeling kind, because it matters somehow. There’s a new episode every Tuesday!

dogs are smarter than people carrie after dark being relentless to get published

WRITING COACH

I offer solo writing coach services. For more about my individual coaching, click here.

WRITING BARN

I am super psyched to be teaching the six-month long Write. Submit. Support. class at the Writing Barn!

Are you looking for a group to support you in your writing process and help set achievable goals? Are you looking for the feedback and connections that could potentially lead you to that book deal you’ve been working towards?

Our Write. Submit. Support. (WSS) six-month ONLINE course offers structure and support not only to your writing lives and the manuscripts at hand, but also to the roller coaster ride of submissions: whether that be submitting to agents or, if agented, weathering the submissions to editors.

Past Write. Submit. Support. students have gone on to receive representation from literary agents across the country. View one of our most recent success stories here

APPLY NOW!

Wednesday Writing Wisdom – Sometimes Revision is Hell.

A question

Before I get to the blog post, I have a question. Should my Wednesday theme be Wednesday Writing Wisdom or Do Good Wednesday? Can it be both? Are there rules about this sort of thing in the blogging world? Please help.

Actually, that was more than one question. Sorry!

We now return to our regularly scheduled blog post.

 

Hello, this is Grover, Carrie’s adorable, furry blue monster of a cheerleader and I have an important message today:

CARRIE IS IN REVISION HELL!

Yes, it is true, and I, the adorable furry blue muppet monster have given up trying to tell her that she can make this manuscript anything good at all. In fact, I, Grover, think I may have to terminate my existence as Cawwie’s cheerleader.

Things got a little rough yesterday. I went from happy, cuddly Grover

to CAN I GO HIDE? Grover.

Unfortunately, I am not the sort of monster who gives up easily when I have a mission.

Still, I was miserable! I was desolate! 74,815 words of exposition, of bad dialog of shaky plots, of Cawwie spending hours wondering why there is the word dialog is not spelled dialogUE.

“I want it to have a ue,” Cawwie kept muttering. “Why is there no ue? ARGHHHHHHH…..”
It got a bit too much for me, Grover. I, Grover, gave up and went into the liquor cabinet.

“C’mon, Cawwie, do a Hemingway. It’ll make you revise better.”
Cawwie did not sway.

So, I tried to tempt her with a tea pot hot tub action.

“C’mon, Cawwie, a little hot water will get you all mellow and floppy like me.”

It did not work.

Finally, horrified by the glazed look in Cawwie’s eyes, her constant mumbling about vowel sounds and character arcs and plot points, I got serious.

“PUT THE REVISION DOWN, CAWWIE,” I said in a nice, but demanding Muppet way (I was channeling Oscar). “Just step away from the revision and put it down.”

And do you know what she did? She did NOT put the revision down. No! She put me, cuddly, lovable Grover, back in the tea pot! Bad Cawwie! Bad. Luckily, the big, white furry monster that woofs and eats bacon saved me.

So, all you writers out there reading this, let me tell you something: It is good to revise but it is berry, berry bad to torment your inner cheerleader and it is okay to take a break sometimes.

Really. I, Grover, your furry, lovable adorable blue monster am begging you:


TAKE A BREAK! You’ll revise better later, I, Grover, promise you. And monsters keep their promises.

Do Good Wednesday!

I’m pretty heavily involved in Rotary International right now. I mostly go around training club presidents and district leaders and club members about public image and Rotary International, which is basically just about telling Rotary’s story. Yesterday, I got to visit a ridiculously awesome club in Camden, Maine. They fed me. They listened to me babble and they gave me a pen!

They also said I was charismatic about four times. So, obviously doing good is good for the ego. 🙂 Full disclosure: People usually just say that I’m exuberant or quirky. Charismatic was a big step up.

However, even though I do this for Rotary all the time and think that the good that Rotarians do in the world and their local community is amazing, I also want to highlight (occasionally) other ways to do good.

So, here’s another way. If you are a kid, parent or teacher, KIDS THAT DO GOOD, is a great resource that will connect you with ways that you can volunteer and make this world better.

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Writing News

There is one space left in my Write! Submit! Support! for Novelists online class at the Writing Barn. It starts Sunday. It’s a six-month class and the other students are so amazing. The Writing Barn is amazing. You’re amazing too, so come join us if you can!  Here’s the link. 

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