Sometimes people are buttheads.
They will mess everything up and then point out your mistakes. They will tell you on social media that you put too many s’s in some word. They will complain to other people that you didn’t invite them to a meeting for a project that your club is doing when they aren’t even in your club.
They will tell you that the world doesn’t need another book about a hamster falling in love with a modem.
And you might want to lose your chill.
Don’t do it.
Eat these instead.
Man Verdict:
DEAR GOD WHY DIDN’T YOU MAKE MORE.
Dog Verdict:
Any sweet potato is a good sweet potato.
My Verdict:
I love these. The end.
WRITING NEWS
IN THE WOODS – READ AN EXCERPT, PREORDER NOW!
My next book, IN THE WOODS, appears in July with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed!
You can preorder this bad boy, which might make it have a sequel. The sequel would be amazing. Believe me, I know. It features caves and monsters and love. Because doesn’t every story?

ART NEWS
You can buy limited-edition prints and learn more about my art here on my site.

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WHAT IS PATREON?
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Prep Time | 10 minutes |
Cook Time | 33 minutes |
Passive Time | 30 minutes |
Servings |
people
|
- 3 lb sweet potatoes
- 6 TBSP butter, allegedly not salted, also allegedly at room temperature
- .25 cup lime juice fresh because these people are rich
- 2 TBSp tahini again, rich people
- 1 TBSP soy sauce this is probably why you don't want salted butter
- 2 tsp sesame oil, toasted kind this is also probably why you don't want salted butter
- some salt and pepper
- some special flaky sea salt
- some sesame seeds toasted
Ingredients
|
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- Haters got to hate, right? But you can make something delicious and rejoice, writer. Nope. I'm not talking about a subtweet. I'm talking about sweet potatoes.
- Let's get started with our Sweet Potato Revenge. Boil water in a pot that can hold a steamer basket big enough to hold sweet potatoes.
- Half the sweet potatoes. Imagine they are the heads of your enemies. No. Don't do that. That's gory.
- Put the halved potato heads into the steamer. Cover the pot. Lower the heat to medium. STEAM THOSE HEADS!!! Cackle. Steam them until they are tender when stabbed multiple times with a fork.
- Try not to stab them multiple times unless you really really really need to.
- Okay, when that scary stuff is happening on the stove, take some calming breaths in through your nose. Now rejoice because you get to smash the lime juice with the butter, tahini, sesame oil and soy sauce. SMASH IT! HULK SMASH IT! Smash it until it's smooth.
- This should take three minutes. If you are smashing for more than three minutes, you might want to call a friend to vent to or maybe just write a dramatic poem about your hater. That's chill. That's using the emotion for art. You are so cool.
- Put a ton of salt (non flaky) and pepper on the butter that is not officially tahini butter.
- Think about how your hater doesn't get to eat this deliciousness. Maybe cackle softly again.
- Take the potatoes (carefully) out of the steamer. Put those potatoes on a large plate. Let them cool down so you don't get hurt.
- Once those potatoes are chilled out enough then cut the sections in half. Spread the butter all over it.
- Put sea salt and then sesame seeds on it. Add some lime wedges. You are beautiful. Eat.