Refried Beans Recipe – Yang Gang Style

Recipe Inspiration

So, my quest to make the family eat less meat and be more vegetarian is kicking mostly because meat cost so much! This made me think about presidential candidate Andrew Yang and Universal Base Income and how many cans of beans this writer could afford if I had a guaranteed $1000 a month.

But also the environment and the animals and commercial farming and all the other real reasons for me to move towards this choice.

As always – this is meant to be silly, but the recipe works and is delicious!

Print Recipe
Beans, Refried like Revised but Better
Servings
Ingredients
Servings
Ingredients
Instructions
  1. Mince the cilantro, garlic, parsley. Stay true to your vision. Don't think about the cilantro haters. They won't know it's in there if you don't tell them just like NO READER will ever figure out that the evil mayor in your magical town in your middle grade fantasy is actually the president. Oops. They know now.
  2. Dice the onion and tomato. Don't think about the tomato haters. They are always whining. This is why they have no Twitter followers. Stay true to your vision.
  3. Open the cans of pinto beans. Yep. Open them. Don't just toss them around and juggle them like your subplots. Drain excess liquid and think about how draining is such a mean-sounding verb. "DRAIN THE BEANS!" Wonder if this could be a campaign slogan if you ever transition from writer to politician.
  4. Cough uncomfortably. You'd secretly like that, wouldn't you? All those cool speeches. People would APPLAUD your words or write mean tweets about you, but you would get attention - real attention. Imagine how many Twitter followers you could have. Maybe you should write about this.
  5. Go write. Think about UBI and how many cans of pinto beans you could afford if that happened.
  6. Actually come back and make the food. Put oil in a pot.
  7. Set the temp to medium.
  8. Saute the garlic, onion and tomato in there.
  9. Season with salt, pepper, cumin, and oregano.
  10. Add the parsley and cilantro.
  11. Cook 10 minutes or so until onions are translucent or about 10 minutes.
  12. YOU CAN WRITE YOUR SPEECH IN THIS AMOUNT OF TIME! GO WRITE!
  13. Make sure to get "DRAIN THE BEANS" in there.
  14. Add beans.
  15. Stir.
  16. Add 1/2 cup water.
  17. Lower temperature to a simmer that resembles your new political aspirations.
  18. Realize you have a chance at this if you use the hashtag #yanggang on a all social media.
  19. For 30 minutes write your political thoughts on Twitter using the hashtag. Watch your following grow.
  20. Eat.
Recipe Notes

UBI stands for Universal Base Income. You can find out more about Andrew Yang's proposal here

Man Verdict: Anytime you have beans or rice I love it.

My Verdict: HE DIDN’T NOTICE THE TOMATOES! Also, I could totally afford cilantro if Andrew Yang became president.

Dog Verdict: We should probably not give the man this many beans. Evacuate!

Sparty’s Daily Doggy Wisdom

Look at how beautiful you are.

Yes you.

Nobody else gets to be you, know you the way YOU know you.

So enjoy who you are.

You’re beautiful.

Yes. You.

Just own it.

You’re made of stars and magic and imagination. You deserve snacks.

xo Sparty Dog

Writing News

I’m about to publish a super cool adult novel. Gasp! I know! Adult! That’s so …. grown-up?

The Places We Hide by Carrie Jones
The Places We Hide by Carrie Jones

I have a new book coming out!

Rosie Jones, small town reporter and single mom, is looking forward to her first quiet Maine winter with her young daughter, Lily. After a disastrous first marriage, she’s made a whole new life and new identities for her and her little girl. Rosie is more than ready for a winter of cookies, sledding, stories about planning board meetings, and trying not to fall in like with the local police sergeant, Seamus Kelley.

But after her car is tampered with and crashes into Sgt. Kelley’s cruiser during a blizzard, her quiet new world spirals out of control and back into the danger she thought she’d left behind. One of her new friends is murdered. She herself has been poisoned and she finds a list of anagrams on her dead friend’s floor. 

As the killer strikes again, it’s obvious that the women of Bar Harbor aren’t safe. Despite the blizzard and her struggle to keep her new identity a secret, Rosie sets out to make sure no more women die. With the help of the handsome but injured Sgt. Kelley and the town’s firefighters, it’s up to Rosie to stop the murderer before he strikes again.

You can preorder it here. Please, please, preorder it. 

So, um, please go buy it. I am being brave, but that means that despite all my reasons for doing this, I’m still terrified that nobody will buy it and I really, really love this book. A lot.


This week’s writing podcast.

WHERE TO FIND US

The podcast link if you don’t see it above. Plus, it’s everywhere like Apple Music, iTunesStitcherSpotify, and more. Just google, “DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE” then like and subscribe.

LEARN WITH ME AT THE WRITING BARN!

The Write. Submit. Support. format is designed to embrace all aspects of the literary life. This six-month course will offer structure and support not only to our writing lives but also to the roller coaster ride of submissions: whether that be submitting to agents or, if agented, weathering the submissions to editors. We will discuss passes that come in, submissions requests, feedback we aren’t sure about, where we are feeling directed to go in our writing lives, and more. Learn more here! 

“Carrie’s feedback is specific, insightful and extremely helpful. She is truly invested in helping each of us move forward to make our manuscripts the best they can be.”

“Carrie just happens to be one of those rare cases of extreme talent and excellent coaching.”


IN THE WOODS – READ AN EXCERPT, ORDER NOW!

My new book, IN THE WOODS, is out!

Gasp!

It’s with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed!

Order this bad boy, which might make it have a sequel. The sequel would be amazing. Believe me, I know. It features caves and monsters and love. Because doesn’t every story?

In the Woods
In the Woods

ART NEWS

Liminal Ascent

Buy limited-edition prints and learn more about my art here on my site. 

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