How To Make Your Own Success. Step One: Define It

One time at a huge book-industry event, Book Expo America, my editor brought me to my signing booth and the line for people was the longest it had ever been (back then) for a Bloomsbury author.

“This is amazing,” she said. “Look at this. This is for you. All these people.”

And I said, “Oh man… It’s not just for me though. It’s for you, too. You’re my editor; you’re just as big a part of this. You just don’t get the fanfare, which isn’t cool. You deserve fanfare.”

She brushed all that aside, and then I realized that her idea of success wasn’t the same as mine. She didn’t need the same things. And I also realized something else.

“Oh, gosh. This is it, isn’t it? This is the pinnacle for me. This is my writing peak and it’s all downhill from here, isn’t it?” I asked.

She gave me a look.

That look said, “Meh, maybe.”

Her look scared me, but the bigger problem was that even, even with so many people lined up for my autograph and to get my book, even with people crying when they met me (weirdest thing ever, but so lovely and I’m wicked honored and thankful), even then I didn’t feel successful.

I’ve been thinking a lot about success and how despite the fact that someone can write in my obituary, “New York Times and internationally bestselling novelist,” I still don’t feel successful. Once someone bit someone else to get an advanced copy of my book. People sometimes cry when I meet them. And I am so lucky. SO LUCKY! But I still don’t feel… successful.

And that’s pretty weird because by outside metrics of success, that pretty much cuts it for a writer.

The problem is that outside metrics don’t matter when it comes to us defining our own success. We hear other people rant about what success is, what the right way to do things is, and on and on.

But those other people don’t matter.

What we define success as is what matters for ourselves.

When it comes to our careers, success is only felt when our careers are shaped by our personal values. When our careers reflect our values, we become far more satisfied and fulfilled by what we’re doing.

So, the first step in becoming successful is to actually define what is important to you. And apparently for me success isn’t about people biting each other, long lines at signings or bestseller list. All this things are super nice though. Um…. Except for the biting. People should never bite each other – not even for books.

So to figure out how to feel successful you have determine what are your values? And sometimes those values…? They’re hard to determine and define for yourself. I’m not talking about the values your family told you were important, or your Instagram friends say are important. I’m talking about the values that you – YOU (INSERT YOUR OWN NAME HERE, OKAY) – think are important.

Three Quick Steps to Help You Figure Out Your Values

Think about your perfect world and community. What is it like?
Think about your death bed. You’re about to die and you reflect back on your life and have a super huge regret. What is it that hurts you inside because you didn’t do it?
That’s such a downer. So think about your death bed again, but this time you feel peaceful and accomplished. What is it that makes you feel that way?

A lot of times, we don’t realize that the outside metrics of our success:

Be a bestseller
Win a Nobel Prize
Earn 5 million dollars (in a month)
Have people bite each other for your books

Are often the internalized wishes and definitions of society or our parents or our agents or our peers. But they often don’t align with our personal values. So, figure out your personal values. Looking at those three questions and really thinking about them is the first step.

Think about your answers to those three questions I just asked you and refine what your core values are. It might be super easy and the answers just pop out at you, but you might be blocked, which is normal and okay. If you are, check out this list and then define your five top personal values. Do they coincide with what you’re doing at work? In life? In your creative life? Can you make them align better?

In the podcast tomorrow, Shaun and I are going to be talking about stakeholders, which is another key component to feeling (or not feeling successful). The podcast is called Dogs are Smarter Than People. I hope you’ll check it out AND I hope that you found this helpful.

Be the success you want to be.

Define yourself.

You deserve to sing the song you want to sing, the story you want to be.

WRITING AND OTHER NEWS

ART.

I do art stuff. You can find it and buy a print here.

TIME STOPPERS!

You can order my middle grade fantasy novel Time Stoppers Escape From the Badlands here or anywhere.

People call it a cross between Harry Potter and Percy Jackson but it’s set in Maine. It’s full of adventure, quirkiness and heart.

Time Stoppers Carrie Jones Middle grade fantasy

MOE BERG

The Spy Who Played Baseball is a picture book biography about Moe Berg. And… there’s a movie out now about Moe Berg, a major league baseball player who became a spy. How cool is that?

It’s awesome and quirky and fun.

FLYING AND ENHANCED

Men in Black meet Buffy the Vampire Slayer? You know it. You can buy them hereor anywhere.

OUR PODCAST – DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE.

Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness as we talk about random thoughts, writing advice and life tips. We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of. Please share it and subscribe if you can. Please rate and like us if you are feeling kind, because it matters somehow. There’s a new episode every Tuesday!

dogs are smarter than people carrie after dark being relentless to get published

WRITING COACH

I offer solo writing coach services. For more about my individual coaching, click here.

WRITING BARN

I am super psyched to be teaching the six-month long Write. Submit. Support. class at the Writing Barn!

Are you looking for a group to support you in your writing process and help set achievable goals? Are you looking for the feedback and connections that could potentially lead you to that book deal you’ve been working towards?

Our Write. Submit. Support. (WSS) six-month ONLINE course offers structure and support not only to your writing lives and the manuscripts at hand, but also to the roller coaster ride of submissions: whether that be submitting to agents or, if agented, weathering the submissions to editors.

Past Write. Submit. Support. students have gone on to receive representation from literary agents across the country. View one of our most recent success stories here.

APPLY NOW!

Author: carriejonesbooks

I am the NYT and internationally-bestselling author of children's books, which include the NEED series, FLYING series, TIME STOPPERS series, DEAR BULLY and other books. I like hedgehogs and puppies and warm places. I have none of these things in my life. View all posts by carriejonesbooks

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Jason Gallaher, author of WHOBERT WHOVER, OWL DETECTIVE

Writing Coach of Your Dreams

Carrie is the writing coach I always dreamed of having. She has such a great balance in her feedback between singing your praises at what is working and giving you honest criticism at what still needs development. Carrie goes above and beyond in her editorial letters, giving very clear and detailed feedback, and her eagerness to answer any questions makes the whole experience of critique—which can be a very vulnerable experience—make you feel like you’re with a trusted friend that you’ve known for years (even though you just met).

Nancy Stone

Stellar Writing Coach

Carrie is not only whip-smart, savvy, and insightful, she is kind, generous, and real. A stellar writing coach and human being, she gives me priceless creative and professional guidance, but most of all she gives me hope. Her joyful, honest approach to writing is a bright and guiding light.

Michelle Ames

Stellar Writing Coach

Julie Herman

Encouraging Feedback

I met Carrie through an online course offered through the Writing Barn. She was a thorough reader of our work, giving both positive and encouraging feedback. Any fixes she offered were on point and gently given. I felt that my writing grew significantly during the time I spent under her wing.

Stefanie Chou

MAKES IT EASY

I’ve worked with Carrie on multiple novels and she is a wonderful mentor! She is a great teacher and provides excellent feedback with examples, allowing me to learn and grow as a writer. She usually responds with feedback quicker than the agreed time, which is always nice. The best thing about Carrie though is that she is so encouraging. Sometimes it’s hard to have your work critiqued, but Carrie makes it easy. She is so good at heaping on praise while also giving constructive feedback, so it makes you excited to revise, rather than want to give up. I highly recommend her!

Lauren Haynes

EXPLORE YOUR STORY’S SOUL

It is a blessing Carrie is willing to share her insights and talents with others, because she is a powerhouse of a coach who pushes you to be the best writer you can be. There were times where I was so frustrated with my novel I felt like quitting, and Carrie pulled me from the bog of eternal revisions and dead-ends into a place of hope. She invigorated me to write and write better. Carrie inspired my growth as a writer and a person. She showed me it’s okay (actually, it’s great) to embrace my quirkiness. She tore down walls I didn’t know I had built and gave me the foundation to be a confident writer with direction.

Her feedback centers on developing your authentic voice. She doesn’t try to make you write like anyone else and applauds your uniqueness. She encourages you to push boundaries and explore the soul of your story. She is extremely attentive to character development and plot structure, as well as how those elements resonate with the intended audience and reveal the author’s purpose. She celebrates powerful writing with specific feedback on what works and why it works just as often as she advises on revisions to improve the story. She asks meaningful questions, offers clear examples, and supplies diverse resources to provoke the author to transform their stories in ways they may never have otherwise. She has an innate sense of the heart of a story and digs into its core as if the writing were her own.

I could not more strongly recommend Carrie as a writing coach, because she cares fiercely about your writing, works tirelessly to improve your story, and nurtures you as a writer. She is the coach, the cheerleader, and the team all in one. If you want to get out of your rut or become a better writer, Carrie is the person you want to have by your side.

Wendi Kepplinger

Shrinks Fear

Carrie has a gift of encouragement in its truest sense–she searches for what is good in a writer and grows it, she provides perspective that shrinks fear back to size, and she nourishes the kind of confidence and hope so vital for a creative work. Even her criticism is gently done. She is also unfailingly funny! Her comments keep discussions fun and light and create a safe space for people to share and grow. It is clear that she cares and wants our books to succeed.

Cathy Carr

Gentle Encouragement and an Occasional Kick in the Pants

One of the things I enjoyed the most about working with Carrie is that she helped me write the book I wanted to write, not the book she would have preferred I write, or the book she would written in my place. She was vested in helping me express my vision as a writer and as a human being.

One special thing about Carrie as a writing coach and teacher is her understanding of writing psychology. She’s well familiar with the pits of uncertainty and the swamps of despondency a writer can step into, and seems to know just the right thing to say to get the struggling person going again, from gentle encouragement to straight-ahead course correction to even the occasional kick in the pants.

Trista Wilson

A Light for Other Writers

When working with Carrie, I can feel that she is genuinely invested in helping me make my writing the very best it can be. She freely shares her own writing experiences, including the struggles, which helps me not feel alone in those tough moments. She is so positive and encouraging while also giving very specific and thoughtful feedback to help my writing shine. Carrie is truly a light for other writers.

Patti Brown

Positive and Uplifting and Funny

I have known Carrie Jones for many years, and I’ve now had the pleasure of working with her in a professional capacity. Carrie was my writing coach through the WRITE, SUBMIT, SUPPORT program at The Writing Barn.

As a coach and support person, she was phenomenal. I greatly appreciated Carrie’s enthusiasm towards me and the other students. She took the time to know each of us. She was positive and uplifting in her messages, and funny, too!

Carrie is also a skilled writing teacher, honing in on the subtlest of details while also keeping the big picture of the story in view. She found the deficits in my story and was able to provide suggestions for solutions without being negative. She understands the difficulty writers encounter in this business and is always ready to help–whether by lifting our spirits or providing resources. I enjoyed having Carrie as my coach and I would highly recommend her to other writers.

Sara Crawford

By Far One of the Best

I was in the Write. Submit. Support class from The Writing Barn that was led by Carrie, and it was exactly what I needed. I’ve worked with a lot of different writing teachers and mentors in college classes, my MFA program, a playwriting apprenticeship, and various workshops and residencies, and Carrie was by far one of the best. Her feedback on my writing was extremely helpful but also encouraging and uplifting. She gave us a lot of thought-provoking and beneficial information in the monthly classes that helped me to see my writing from a different perspective. Every month, after our classes or after I received notes from her, I was inspired not only to write and improve my craft but to create in general–to write fiction, to write songs, to write plays, and to write content that would help other creative people and artists.

I also love how supportive Carrie is. She takes the time to really listen to you, encourage you, and support you, no matter where you are in your writing career or what your goals are. I also appreciate that she understands that everyone’s publishing path is different, and I was so grateful that I could turn to her for advice and support as I had to make some difficult decisions about my own career. I miss WSS now that the class is ofter, but fortunately, Carrie continues to produce informative and uplifting content for creatives every day–from her blog posts to her podcasts to her motivational thoughts posted alongside adorable dog photos on social media–and she inspires me to do the same. For anyone looking for a writing mentor/teacher/coach, I can’t recommend Carrie enough.