Awhile ago, I had this nasty bad cold and when I was almost better, I tried to write and realized that everything I was writing was absolutely horrible and would always be awful and what was the point.
This is called Writer Insecurity Syndrome. It usually happens when you’re sick, when you feel like you’ll never get 50,000 readers, or when someone trolls you on Twitter.
“What am I doing?” I whined to S. who pulled the laptop off my lap and gave me tea.
He smiled at me and shook his head.
“You’re not suppose to look at your work when you’re sick,” he said. “No matter what you do or how good it is, when you’re sick it always looks hopeless and pointless and it seems like you stink.”
I said, quite intelligently like the woman of words that I am, “Oh.”
“It’s like eating a bean burrito,” he said.
“You never want to go look at yourself naked in the mirror after you’ve eaten three or four bean burritos,” he said. “It’s like that with doing your job or thinking about your life when you’re sick.”
It makes sense.
“You can eat three or four bean burritos?” I asked.
“Yep,” he said, all proud.
“And you’ve actually looked at yourself naked afterwards?”
He quietly left the room.
When things are bad, it’s easy to spiral down. Try to lift out of it. Most of the time, our feelings and circumstances change. Hang onto that and believe in yourself even after you’ve eaten four bean burritos.
Hey! I hung out over at Dad Without a Dad’s podcast this week. Check it out here.
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