Cat Butt Sabotage

All those fitness-trainer-guru people talk about the perils of your family ruining your quest for fitness.

I never realized my family was like that until this morning. I was doing push-up sets.

In between sets, I sat up because honestly my floor was sooooo dirty it was kind of grossing me out and making my nose all twitchy from the dust. This is when it all went wrong, because the moment I sat up who should appear?

No! Not Santa! But look even Santa is running and getting all health-i-fied now! It must be because of all that Bill Maher fat-shaming stuff.

But, no, it wasn’t Santa. It was actually my cat.

Marsie, the cat

“Marsie, baby,” I told her as she settled in and took up ALL my push-up space. “You need to move. I need to build up my upper body strength.


“Honey, could you move? My minute has passed. I need to do my last set.”


So, knowing I was defeated, I moved backwards and started my next set. What did she do? She got up too and walked over to me and then showed me her kitty bottom! Okay. She didn’t show me. She SHOVED it in my face! 


I’m going to have to do my push-ups in the bedroom and lock the door from now on.

Marsie: Lock the door? Don’t make me laugh! Locks do not stop me! Not with these monster kitty claws. These monster kitty claws can knock down a door. You don’t KNOW what these monster kitty claws are capable of. 

Marsie the cat


My new book, IN THE WOODS, is out!


It’s with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed! 

You can order this bad boy, which might make it have a sequel. The sequel would be amazing. Believe me, I know. It features caves and monsters and love. Because doesn’t every story?

In the Woods
In the Woods


You can buy limited-edition prints and learn more about my art here on my site. 


You can get exclusive content, early podcasts, videos, art and listen (or read) never-to-be-officially published writings of Carrie on her Patreon. Levels go from $1 to $100 (That one includes writing coaching and editing for you wealthy peeps). 

Check it out here. 


A lot of you might be new to Patreon and not get how it works. That’s totally cool. New things can be scary, but there’s a cool primer HERE that explains how it works. The short of it is this: You give Patreon your paypal or credit card # and they charge you whatever you level you choose at the end of each month. That money supports me sharing my writing and art and podcasts and weirdness with you. 

Author: carriejonesbooks

I am the NYT and internationally-bestselling author of children's books, which include the NEED series, FLYING series, TIME STOPPERS series, DEAR BULLY and other books. I like hedgehogs and puppies and warm places. I have none of these things in my life.

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