I once saw a blog all about BOYS WHO BROKE MY HEART.
I, of course, had to write my own list. Here’s the thing, I never was actually physically attracted to any of these boys, but I had romantic attachments to some of them. They broke my heart in different ways.
Carl of the brown cords. He lived next to Debbie Muir. During one of our huge group tag games, he tackled me. I think he attempted to pinch my non-existent fifth-grade butt, which was also encased in cords (blue). He then flashed a slow smile, yelled “Gotcha!” and ran off. I was tagged.
Obviously, this was the ultimate in romance. Not. But I was stupid back then.
The next day at our school’s annual Fun Fair he won me a cake in the cake walk. It was angel food. Yum.
Then he faded away because his best friend Paul liked me. He just stopped talking to me. Oh, Carl… What cute corded babies we would have had together.
Jed of the jeans. Blonde hair. Blue eyes. Seventh grade. Never looked at me. Not once. Not even the day when I had the flu and threwup all over my social studies notebook in front of everyone. Oh, Jed…What apathetic children we would have had.
Steven of the pleated Chinos.. Uck. No, I didn’t love him, but he did say to me at the CCD Dance, “Let’s face it Carrie, neither of us are lookers so we might as well make do with each other.”
Did I have a snappy come-back?
I cried in the bathroom of the Roman Catholic Church and hit the stall with my fist, which I thought was appropriately melodramatic. Have I used this in a story? Yep. Girl, Hero. Oh, Steve…What insecure, neurotic children we would have had.
NOTE TO ALL BOYS: Do not wear pleated chinos!!!
Chris of the Bruce Springsteen-style jeans. He was our freshman high school quarterback or something. At the time we had the worst football team in all the nation. It was featured on ESPN.
He could not understand anything about me, but he held my hand at the movies and kissed me! I looked past his feathered hair and right at his bottom. It was an aesthetically-pleasing bottom that all my friends approved of.
He called me up on the phone and said, “Listen.”
Then he held the phone to his speaker and played Madonna’s Crazy for You. I hated Madonna! I was a U2, The Waterboys, The Alarm, Marvin Gaye kind-of-girl. I had to listen to the entire song because I didn’t want to be rude.
I should have been rude.
He called me up a week later and had his seven-year-old sister dump me. Sigh. Oh, Chris…what poor musical taste our children would have had, but, oh, their heinies would have been f-f-fine.
Joe of the nicely tailored pants. Joe was my high school boyfriend for three years and we broke up when I started college. We remained best friends. He was Harvest King. I was Harvest Queen. I loved him horribly true. Then one time I came home from college and he told me he was gay. Sigh. He is one of my favorite people in existence. He is an astonishingly good singer. Oh, Joe… what great pipes are children would have had if you had been the type of guy who wanted to have children with a woman.
Oh, this has become way too long. But what a good way to get character stuff. Excuse me while I go incorporate all this stuff into my WIP and sob over my broken, broken heart.
Stayed tuned for All the Girls Who Broke My Heart. 🙂
WRITING AND OTHER NEWS
IN THE WOODS – READ AN EXCERPT, PREORDER NOW!
My next book, IN THE WOODS, appears in July with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed!
You can preorder this bad boy, which might make it have a sequel. The sequel would be amazing. Believe me, I know. It features caves and monsters and love. Because doesn’t every story?
HEAR MY BOOK BABY (AND MORE) ON PATREON
On February first, I launched my Patreon site where I’m reading chapters (in order) of a never-published teen fantasy novel, releasing deleted scenes and art from some of my more popular books. And so much more. Come hang out with me! Get cool things!
WHAT IS PATREON?
A lot of you might be new to Patreon and not get how it works. That’s totally cool. New things can be scary, but there’s a cool primer HERE that explains how it works. The short of it is this: You give Patreon your paypal or credit card # and they charge you whatever you level you choose at the end of each month. That money supports me sharing my writing and art and podcasts and weirdness with you.
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