TOP SIX REASONS YOU SHOULD DESTROY YOUR WHITEY-TIGHTIE UNDERWEAR

LISTEN UP MEN!!!

Here’s the awful truth: Your white briefs are no longer making you sexalicious.

TOP REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD TOSS THOSE WHITEY-TIGHTIES

1. They are no longer white. Do I have to explain the dingy factor? Once-white underwear is always gross.

2. They are drooping more than my gravity heavied earlobes, which is really saying something, because I wore a lot of heavy earrings in the early 1990s.

3. There are gaps where there shouldn’t be gaps!!!!!

4. The elastic is barely holding on and we all really, really, really need the elastic to hold on. Remember there are children at the beach or driving by. They can be scarred. Do you want to be responsible for that? No. No you do not.

5. Wearing a t-shirt with just your white briefs DOES NOT HELP!!! I repeat. This does not help your sexalicious ranking AT ALL. It makes you look like a toddler running around in a diaper and his mommy has put on a t-shirt to make sure he doesn’t get sunburned. If you are going for a sexy look, making women and men think of diapers, mommies, or spit-up DOES NOT HELP!!!

I mean, there are some people who are into that, but in general? Just no.

6. Wearing a cape doesn’t help either:

Thank you, Mr. Pilkey for the cartoon evidence.

Now, Men. I’m begging you.

Please, go reassess your underwear situation right now. You need some new ones. Remember your waist measurement when you were 12 is PROBABLY not your waist measurement today. That’s okay. You’re all grown up. That’s why we love you. Just not your underwear.



WRITING NEWS

IN THE WOODS – READ AN EXCERPT, ORDER NOW!

My new book, IN THE WOODS, is out!

Gasp!

It’s with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed! 

You can order this bad boy, which might make it have a sequel. The sequel would be amazing. Believe me, I know. It features caves and monsters and love. Because doesn’t every story?

In the Woods
In the Woods


ART NEWS

You can buy limited-edition prints and learn more about my art here on my site. 

Carrie Jones Art for Sale

PATREON OF AWESOME

You can get exclusive content, early podcasts, videos, art and listen (or read) never-to-be-officially published writings of Carrie on her Patreon. Levels go from $1 to $100 (That one includes writing coaching and editing for you wealthy peeps). 

Check it out here. 

WHAT IS PATREON? 

A lot of you might be new to Patreon and not get how it works. That’s totally cool. New things can be scary, but there’s a cool primer HERE that explains how it works. The short of it is this: You give Patreon your paypal or credit card # and they charge you whatever you level you choose at the end of each month. That money supports me sharing my writing and art and podcasts and weirdness with you. 




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Boxers or Briefs or the Commando – Living the Literary Life

Carrie has been working on the Write Submit Support Class that she’s doing with the Writing Barn and the whole class is about creating a writing community and supporting each other, right?

One of the first classes talks about “Living the Literary Life,” which is a phrase that she’s honestly not super into because she spends a lot of her time just trying to convince people to live their own life let alone a life with a qualifier in it like ‘literary.’

Some people think living the literary life is about relationships. Carrie thinks it’s about that, but it’s also about intention. It’s about giving yourself the space to notice things, people, conversations, poems, beer. It doesn’t matter what you’re noticing, but it’s also about then making those connections into story.

It’s about reading and noticing and writing.

It’s about valuing yourself enough to live the life you want to live.

That means it’s about the yearning that exists in you to live a life where you find meaning, and about the yearning that exists in stories where characters yearn, too.

So what does that have to do with boxers or briefs or the p-word, which was the original title of our post until Carrie realized that the p-word stood for words that aren’t ‘panties,’ which was the p-word she was talking about.

Spoiler Tangent: Carrie hates the p-word, the panties one.

It means that there’s no one way to live the literary life just like there’s no one type of undergarment that is the best for everyone. You life is yours. There’s no one way to live it. The phrase ‘literary life’ is pretty vague, but that’s good because you can take that phrase and put your stamp on it, just like your mom used to put your name in your underwear, right?

CHARLES DEBUSSEY SAID THERE IS NO THEORY, JUST TO LISTEN and that’s pretty cool if you think about it. Listen to your heart, to what resonates to you. That’s how to live your life – literary or not.

Writing Tip of the Pod

Think about your goals as a writer. What are your intentions? What would make you feel like you’re living a literary life? Is it about reading, writing, noticing?

Dog Tip for Life

There’s no one right way to do the simplest thing and that includes pooping.

Shout Out!

The music we’ve clipped and shortened in this podcast is awesome and is made available through the Creative Commons License. Here’s a link to that and the artist’s website. Who is this artist and what is this song?  It’s “Night Owl” by Broke For Free.

Help Us and Do An Awesome Good Deed

Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness as we talk about random thoughts, writing advice and life tips. We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of. Please share it and subscribe if you can. Please rate and like us if you are feeling kind, because it matters somehow. There’s a new episode every Tuesday!


BE A PART OF THE PODCAST!

Hey! If you download the Anchor application, you can call into the podcast, record a question, or just say ‘hi,’ and we’ll answer. You can be heard on our podcast! Sa-sweet!

No question is too wild. But just like Shaun does, try not to swear, okay?

Here is the link to the mobile app.

WRITING AND OTHER NEWS

ART.

I do art stuff. You can find it and buy a print here. 

Ghosts by the wall bar harbor art
Ghosts by the wall

TIME STOPPERS!

You can order my middle grade fantasy novel Time Stoppers Escape From the Badlands here or anywhere.

People call it a cross between Harry Potter and Percy Jackson but it’s set in Maine. It’s full of adventure, quirkiness and heart.

Time Stoppers Carrie Jones Middle grade fantasy

MOE BERG 

The Spy Who Played Baseball is a picture book biography about Moe Berg. And… there’s a movie out now about Moe Berg, a major league baseball player who became a spy. How cool is that?

It’s awesome and quirky and fun.

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FLYING AND ENHANCED

Men in Black meet Buffy the Vampire Slayer? You know it. You can buy them hereor anywhere.

31702754 copy

WRITING COACH

I offer solo writing coach services. For more about my individual coaching, click here.

Boxers or Briefs or the Commando – Living the Literary Life

 
 
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