On Thursday, my co-podcaster, Shaun, and husband guy, takes over the blog.
He’s adorable. I hope you’ll read what he says even if he does occasionally sound like a surfer dude from the 1990s or Captain Pontification. And no, we don’t always agree. 🙂
Do you ever think about death?
By that I mean your own impending death, because everyone’s death is impending after all.
I have always thought about my own death, off and on, randomly, for no apparent reason. Lately, however, I have been mulling it over in my mind more frequently. I am not afraid of dying although I do not want to die too soon because, frankly, I love life.
What bothers me the most when I think about my death is those that I will leave behind. Those people I love and I hope love me back. Those people I hold dearest to my heart. But, it is not all of those that I love that affect me, it is a select few and after much consideration of my thoughts on my demise I have decided that I know why I always think of these same people.
I feel guilty! Without a doubt, it never fails to make me sad, almost to tears, when I think of my passing and of these people that are special to me. My sadness comes from a fear of unfinished work, unmet responsibilities and the sudden inability to protect or simply just be there for them.
Did I teach them all that I know? Did I work as hard as I possibly could to provide for them financially? Did I help them find their way to being a good human being? How will they even survive without me around?
Wait! Will they even miss me?
I think they will miss me, some of them may even miss me greatly. For this, I feel guilty also, for leaving and being the cause of their missing. I don’t say this egotistically, because I don’t think I am all that wonderful, but because I don’t want to be responsible for any sadness.
I am trying to look at all that I have written above from all angles. I see that I come across as being an insecure cry baby who doesn’t have any faith in some of those closest to him and neither of those things is really true. Well, maybe a little.
What I always end up thinking is that these people who are in my little orbit of death thoughts are the ones that I want to tell how much I love them and how much they mean to me, every single day! These are the people that I cannot live without, not so much the other way around. But I try and make sure, in my own convoluted ways, that they know how special they are to me without telling them that I am scared to death of losing (and not being there for) THEM!
So, remember to take the time to tell those special people in your life how much they mean to you. And do it often, before you have to unravel your own tangled thoughts or write your own dysfunctional blogpost to get the message across.
Remember to Love Your Way Through It!
Shaun
NEW BOOK ALERT!
I just want to let everyone know that INCHWORMS (The Dude Series Book 2) is out and having a good time as Dude competes for a full scholarship at a prestigious Southern college and getting into a bit of trouble.
Here’s what it’s about:
A fascinating must-read suspense from New York Times bestseller Carrie Jones.
A new chance visiting a small Southern college.
A potential love interest for a broken girl obsessed with psychology.
A damaged group of co-eds.
A drowning that’s no accident.
A threat that seems to have no end.
And just like that Jessica Goodfeather aka Dude’s trip away from her claustrophobic life in Maine to try to get an amazing scholarship to her dream school has suddenly turned deadly. Again.
What would you do to make a difference?
After his best friend Norah was almost abducted, Cole Nicholaus has spent most of his childhood homeschooled, lonely and pining for Norah to move from best friend to girl friend status. When birds follow him around or he levitates the dishes, he thinks nothing of it—until a reporter appears and pushes him into making a choice: stay safe at home or help save a kidnapped kid.
Cole and Norah quickly end up trying to not just save a kid, but an entire town from a curse that has devastating roots and implications for how exactly Cole came to be the saint that he is.
Can Cole stop evil from hurting him and Norah again? And maybe even get together? Only the saints know.
From the New York Times and internationally bestselling author of the NEED series, Saint is a book about dealing with the consequences that make us who we are and being brave enough to admit who we love and what we need.
BUY NOW! 🙂 I made a smiley face there so you don’t feel like I’m too desperate.
