I used to be an emergency dispatcher. I just sort of filled in shifts. This was good because:
1. It got me away from the computer and talking to real people not just Grover and my characters.
Grover: Am I not good to talk to, Cawwie?
You are AMAZING Grover, but I also need to talk to people who can say the r’s in my name.
2. I felt like I was helping the community and like I was this tiny part of this cool town team that helped keep people and kids safe and that was tremendously cool.
However, I’dbeen working midnights and basically getting three-hours of sleep.
Why was this bad?
Well, one day I got a text saying:
HOW DO I KNOW IF YOU’RE ASLEEP OR NOT?
And I thought it was from my main man, so I sent him back something all scintilating like:
BABY, I AM AWAKE. I AM SO SORRY. I LOVE YOU! XOXOXO YOU CAN TEXT ME
Yeah. Only that text about whether I was asleep?? It wasn’t from my main man. It was from a Internet friend who was getting a transfusion and it didn’t stop there.
I think I possibly told him:
I miss YOU!
Only it was worse than that. I actually wrote:
HONEY I MISS YOU xoxoxoXO
Yeah. And I probably told him he was hot,
I THINK YOU ARE SO SEXALICIOUS. GROWL>
Because when I screw things up I screw them up some good.
And the person getting the texts? He’s 19, likes boys not girls ever at all, and was staring at his cell phone thinking:
HAS SOMEONE KIDNAPPED CARRIE’S PHONE?
And the main man? He was all like,
Baby, are you mad at me? Why are you not returning my texts?
Sigh. So if you take a night-shift because you are a writer and want to:
- Have actual income
- Talk to actual humans
Please remember to check who are texting and get some sleep.
This, my friends, has been today’s Ted Talk.
IN THE WOODS – READ AN EXCERPT, ORDER NOW!
My new book, IN THE WOODS, is out!
It’s with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed!
You can order this bad boy, which might make it have a sequel. The sequel would be amazing. Believe me, I know. It features caves and monsters and love. Because doesn’t every story?
You can buy limited-edition prints and learn more about my art here on my site.
PATREON OF AWESOME
You can get exclusive content, early podcasts, videos, art and listen (or read) never-to-be-officially published writings of Carrie on her Patreon. Levels go from $1 to $100 (That one includes writing coaching and editing for you wealthy peeps).
WHAT IS PATREON?
A lot of you might be new to Patreon and not get how it works. That’s totally cool. New things can be scary, but there’s a cool primer HERE that explains how it works. The short of it is this: You give Patreon your paypal or credit card # and they charge you whatever you level you choose at the end of each month. That money supports me sharing my writing and art and podcasts and weirdness with you.
When Good Dogs Go Bad
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