I’ve Got A Feeling that these are Black-Eyed Peas Of Dopeness – Cooking With a Writer

Yes! There is cauliflower in your black-eyed peas. Do not judge!

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I've Got A Feeling that these are Black-Eyed Peas Of Dopeness
The original recipe that this has been adapted from is here: https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/11/12/a-vegetarian-thanksgiving-table/ It's been featured in other places, too. It's just that good.
I've Got A Feeling that these are Black-Eyed Peas Of Dopeness Vegetarian Recipes of Awesome Quirky Fun by NYT Bestseller Carrie Jones
Prep Time 10 minutes
Cook Time 20 minutes
Passive Time what the what is this thing called passive?
Servings
people
Ingredients
Prep Time 10 minutes
Cook Time 20 minutes
Passive Time what the what is this thing called passive?
Servings
people
Ingredients
I've Got A Feeling that these are Black-Eyed Peas Of Dopeness Vegetarian Recipes of Awesome Quirky Fun by NYT Bestseller Carrie Jones
Instructions
  1. Get a big pot and heat oil on medium-high heat. Ignore the haters who have noticed cans of black-eyed peas. You'll show them. Sauté onions and green peppers in that oil until they are soft. Inhale the smell of onions and green peppers. Shout to the haters, "DOESN'T THAT SMELL GOOD?"
  2. Realize the haters are your own family members and not trolls on Twitter. Realize this might be a problem.
  3. Add cauliflower to the mix. Stir it all until it is lightly browned (5 to 8 minutes). Ignore the man standing over you who just said, "WHAT IS CAULIFLOWER DOING IN BLACK-EYED PEAS? WHERE THE HELL IS THE HAM?" Forgive him for his bias. Hum Black-Eyed Peas songs. Actually, no sing the chorus about your 'lovely lady lumps.' Tell him those lovely lady lumps will be off limits unless he stops with the judges attitude. Add garlic, cumin, chili powder, cinnamon, cayenne and salt. Cook 2-3 more minutes.
  4. Add the peas. Add the tomato sauce, water, soy sauce, brown sugar and vinegar. Yell to the man who is STILL COMPLAINING and decide you will only speak to him in Black Eyed Peas lyrics for now. To begin this new enlightened age of conversation shout, "Don't Phunk With My Heart." Reduce heat to medium. Simmer the veggies and your anger, uncovered. Do this 10 to 15 minutes. Shout things like, "Where is Love?" and "Pump It," and "I Gotta Feeling" until man apologizes and admits everything smells delicious.
  5. Taste it. Announce in your best Fergie voice, "Just Can't Get Enough." Serve. Make maple butter if you think the family deserves it. Forget it. YOU deserve it. "Hey Mama. Rock that Body" because this recipe? It is "Dopeness."

As you may have noticed by now. I’m trying to convince the man in the house to be – gasp – a little bit healthier by eating more vegetarian meals.

Since his favorite self-made meal is Kraft Macaroni and Cheese with meat mixed in (He has affectionately named this meal the swear-word for excrement) this hasn’t been easy.

But this recipe? After much mocking (as heard on our podcast, Dogs are Smarter than People) was a massive hit.

Man Verdict: I LOVE IT SO MUCH

Dog Verdict: We can’t even try this.

My Verdict: This is the first time, I’ve actually liked black-eyed peas.

Success!

Dogs are Smarter than People the writing podcast
Dogs like meat, you know.

OUR PODCAST – DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE.

Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness as we talk about random thoughts, writing advice and life tips. We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of. Please share it and subscribe if you can. Please rate and like us if you are feeling kind, because it matters somehow. There’s a new episode every Tuesday!


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No question is too wild. But just like Shaun does, try not to swear, okay?

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WRITING AND OTHER NEWS

ART.

I do art stuff. You can find it and buy a print here. 

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TIME STOPPERS!

You can order my middle grade fantasy novel Time Stoppers Escape From the Badlands here or anywhere.

People call it a cross between Harry Potter and Percy Jackson but it’s set in Maine. It’s full of adventure, quirkiness and heart.

Time Stoppers Carrie Jones Middle grade fantasy

MOE BERG 

The Spy Who Played Baseball is a picture book biography about Moe Berg. And… there’s a movie out now about Moe Berg, a major league baseball player who became a spy. How cool is that?

It’s awesome and quirky and fun.

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FLYING AND ENHANCED

Men in Black meet Buffy the Vampire Slayer? You know it. You can buy them hereor anywhere.

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WRITING COACH

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WRITING BARN

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There are only two spots left and sign-up ends January 18th.

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Dogs in Wigs.

I saw a dog with fake hair on the Cute-internet today, and I have to say that it’s terribly depressing that dogs are wearing people wigs.

I mean, dogs have fur! They have fur! But they are covering up their beautiful natural fur-i-tude with fake people hair. Isn’t there something wrong about this? I mean, yes, she is cute….

but seriously. Shouldn’t she be happy with who she is as a dog? Shouldn’t she embrace her fine doggy self instead of walking over to the side of salon visits, guava conditioners, and dolphin-decal manicures?

And sometimes… sometimes… the wig goes horribly wrong…

My Post-6 copy 2

Okay. Human readers you can stop listening now. We have a message from Gabby the Dog

ATTENTION ALL CANINES!!!!

It is okay to embrace your doggy self. If that means running around in mud flats and drooling. It’s okay.

Rolling around in dead skunk? Okay.

Eating split pea soup and then kissing everyone? Okay

And, yes, if it means wearing a wig, even a Hannah Montana wig, that’s okay, too, but remember the cats are watching, and they are snickering.

(What me snicker? I am a cat. I blog about it…. and only then I snicker.)

So, your Marise the Cat Monday motivation is this people: 

Live big. Wear wigs. Don’t wear wigs. Embrace your inner dog or your inner weird. Don’t let other people trample down your quirky with their disdain. Disdain? Judgement? Raised eyebrow looks at your awesome bewigged dogs?

That’s what’s boring.

Cats know.

 

Random Marketing and Book Things Since I Need To Make Money to Survive

My nonfiction picture book about Moe Berg, the pro ball player who became a spy was all official on March 1 and I’m super psyched about it. You can order it!

Kirkus Review says:   A captivating true story of a spy, secret hero, and baseball player too.

The Spy Who Played Baseball

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The podcast, DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE, has a new podcast that will come out Tuesday. That’s tomorrow! If you subscribe, you will never ever miss one.

To be fair, Shaun and I are more like um… these guys… that pro podcast people. Just keeping it real because it’s impossible for us not to.

And finally, I made a little video for my TIME STOPPERS books.

Time Stoppers’s third book comes out this summer. It’s been called a cross between Harry Potter and Percy Jackson, but with heart. It takes place in Acadia National Park in Bar Harbor, Maine. I need to think of awesome ways to promote it because this little book series is the book series of my own middle grade heart. Plus, I wrote it for the Emster. Plus, it is fun.

If you feel like buying it, that would be so amazing? And if you review it? Even better! Well, maybe not better, but also super kind of you. No pressure though!