This podcast is all about trying to live a happy, better life and being happier, better people and how you can use those skills in writing and vice versa. But we’re not perfect, just like our podcast. We’re cool with that.
Life doesn’t go the way we want to a lot of the time. Your kid gets a speeding ticket. You can lose your job, your mom, your friend. Life is improvisation and yeah – the whole seize the day thing is a cliché because it’s important.
Dogs Are Smarter Than People: Writing Life, Marriage and Motivation
Dogs Are Smarter Than People - Just Say Yes! - Episode One
Life doesn’t go the way we want to a lot of the time. Your kid gets a speeding ticket. You can lose your job, your mom, your friend. Life is improvisation and yeah – the whole seize the day thing is a cliché because it’s important.
So to enjoy life you’ve got to be a good improviser. What does it take to be a good improviser?
Be aware. Be awake. Don’t succumb to numbness. Be brave! Say yes to things!
Be aware of other people. Not just focused on yourself.
Say yes to things. Live your biggest damn life and take chances.
Writing Tip – Say yes to experiences and to writing about them. When you look at the page, don’t see emptiness, see possibility.
Dog Tip – Say yes to every new experience! And don’t just say yes, SAY YES!!! Live your life with exclamation marks and joy.
So, in this solo bonus podcast, Carrie talks about how she said yes to a really weird idea and how that yes turned into the internationally bestselling NEED series.
So much joy comes from just exploration, of touching the shiny things, of creating something bizarre like an ice carousel, of doing what you’ve never done before.
Marsie the Cat: Human, you aren’t going to post about me getting my claw tangled in your Evil Necklace of Tangles are you?
Me:
Marsie: Seriously?
Me: Yeah, but it’s good, I promise!
Marsie: Do I come off like an idiot? Will the dogs make fun of me after I read it?
Me: You’re worried about the judgement of creatures that try to eat your poop, Marsie. Think about that.
Marsie: You’re so right, human. Blog away! But make me look awesome.
So, yesterday Marsie saw a necklace that I’d just untangled and left on the table. Marsie thought something like, “Oh, bright! I must touch it.”
Her claw got snared in the necklace.
There was about 30 seconds of cat panic and then both Marsie and the necklace fell on the floor. Marsie was TOTALLY okay. The necklace managed to re-tangle itself because that’s necklaces do.
The dogs watched the whole thing and Marsie did the Cat-Blow-Off-Thing where you could tell she was super embarrassed and was trying to pretend nothing happened at all, but I was like, “Marsie, you are so cool!”
And the reason I though that – other than ALL cats are cool – was that she saw something shiny and she just went for it. She was brave.
This weekend, my friends made an ice carousel on a pond. They hauled out a hammock, a fire pit, a whole bunch of stuff, and had a party. Kids skated. Adults skated. People laughed and connected and there was community going on – this beautiful sharing of story and emotion and also crazy fun.
There’s a lot of risk involved in this.
It’s a party and there is always a risk that nobody will show.
They used chainsaws and cut the ice.
It’s ICE! You can fall through that and die. This little cutie fell in the crack, but luckily his human was right there and snatched him out like a hero human. He is absolutely okay. Don’t worry!
4. It’s ICE! You can slip and break things.
But it was amazing and fun and joyous and nobody got hurt. See Thom and Nicole? They look joyous and unhurt!
And all of this, plus Marsie’s interaction with the NECKLACE OF EVIL TANGLES, made me realize that so much joy comes from just exploration, of touching the shiny things, of creating something bizarre like an ice carousel, of doing what you’ve never done before.
I hope that you all get the chance to do something amazing and new this week.
Writing Prompt:
Write about something you’re character is afraid to try.
There are certain things you are supposed to be afraid of when you’re little – normal things, right?
Spiders.
Dead people.
Spiders coming out of dead people.
Dead people coming out of spiders.
But I was afraid of being – just being – being alive – being noticed. Being.
I first started hiding in my bedroom closet when I was four, I think.
It wasn’t my first hiding attempt. That began when I started to see. When I was born they thought I was completely blind. It wasn’t for months before they realized that I could sort of see, just in a blurry way in which there were four copies of everything, four versions of the same truth, I guess.
Before my eye operation, I’d push myself against walls, crawl behind the couch or toddle there, feeling the scratchy fabric behind my hands. It happened at night too. I’d get in my bed after Mom kissed me goodnight and I’d pile all my stuffed animals around me and then pull the covers tightly up over my head.
“I am a nothing girl,” I would whisper. “I am nothing. Nobody can find me. Nobody can find me.”
I thought that this was a genius hiding space when I was four, and that makes sense because I was young and stupid, but what doesn’t make sense is how I sometimes still hide there, sometimes.
When I was four and murmuring
In the closet
Because it was darker than the bed
And safer
With walls around me.
My mother’s voice
Rattled through the house
Hysterical
Hysterical
Calling my name
Screaming it eventually
Panicked beyond belief
And I sat there behind the clothes
Dangling down
Hand me downs
Of other kids’ better lives.
She found me
Of course
I made a noise or something
Giving myself away
And she found me there
Huddled up and crying
“Why are you crying, honey,”
she screamed, no she sang, no
she whispered. “Why are you crying?”
“I’m a nothing girl,” I whispered,
no shouted, no spoke, no screamed.
“I’m a nothing.”
And she bundled
me into her
arms and said, “No,
no you’re not,”
which of course
was exactly the wrong
thing to say.
There are certain things you are supposed to be afraid of when you’re little – normal things, right?
Spiders.
Dead people.
Spiders coming out of dead people.
Dead people coming out of spiders.
But I was afraid of being – just being – being alive – being noticed. Being.
Jamie, one of the main characters in the TIME STOPPERS series is a lot like this, too. Albeit for different reasons – his fake family are trolls.
I think a lot of us have to deal with trolls in one way or another. It can make us hide.
Almost every Wednesday, I go to my Rotary club’s meeting and then that night, I head to one of my friends’ houses where people gather to hang out. Some people play poker. Some people knit. Some people run around with their kids. Everyone eats.
This Wednesday, I wore a big orange necklace on top of my typical L.L. Bean navy crew sweater. Everyone mentioned it. And I decided to be honest and say, “Look. I realize that I like to blend in. I sit on the floor sometimes. I wear all dark clothes. I hide behind a camera and take pictures. This is my first step in trying to be brave. This necklace. I’m trying not to hide.”
And everyone was “cool.” Because if you’re even going to notice something like that, you’re probably going to be supportive.
There’s this weird thing about writers, we communicate through our stories, but we also can hide behind those stories. We put the words out there, hope someone notices because writing is a lot of effort and it is horrible when you create something, try to communicate something, and nobody responds.
But at the same time, you can’t control other people’s reactions to you, to your story. And I’ve spent my whole life so afraid of people’s reactions, of them hurting me, that I hide.
I’m pretty sure that’s got to stop one necklace, one blog post, one podcast at a time.
This picture is a big deal for me because I’m actually not wearing a sweater. I have worn sweaters in Mexico in July. I wore a sweater while having a baby. Seriously. Issues here, people. 🙂
Writing Prompt:
What do you try to hide?
Life Prompt:
How can you show someone that you see them? What can you do?
Random Other Writing and Work News:
Due to a glitch in distribution, I think – I honestly can’t remember – the pub date for THINGS WE HAVEN’T SAID, has been moved back to March? You can preorder it here or anywhere. It’s an anthology that I have a piece in.
I’m starting a podcast. The landing page will be here and also on my website and in all those typical podcast places, hopefully. It will be raw. It will be quirky because seriously… look at me… I don’t know how to be normal.
What do you like about podcasts? What do you hate? I’ll try not to do the hate things.
Also, on my website are the stories of how my books like the NEED series or TIME STOPPERS came into being, how I paint to get more into my stories, or more info about me and all that stuff that’s supposed to be on websites.
My nonfiction picture book about Moe Berg, the pro ball player who was a spy, is still coming out March 1 and I’m super psyched about it. You can preorder it.
And there you go, Friday’s blog post, which runs counter to be impulse to be invisible. Please let me know if you’ve checked it out. I hope you have an amazing, wonderful weekend where you shout out who you are to the world and the world loves you for it.
Share this if you want and also because it would be super nice of you!
Marsie: You’re afraid of failing, of being vulnerable, of exposing yourself to the world, am I write? Or worse – What if nobody even notices you?
Me:
Marsie:
Me: How do you know so much?
Marsie: I am a cat. Therefore, I know all things. Plus, I know about fear. But I don’t care. I live my life. Look at this photo. I am on the dog bed and right there – it is the evidence that the dogs destroy things! That was a perfectly good owl toy and it is dead now. That dog has jaws of steel and could eat me in a second for daring to be on her bed. But do I care? No! I still claim the dog bed. You, human, need to claim the dog bed.
Marsie doesn’t understand that sometimes it’s hard to claim the dog bed. I wrote about this on Instagram yesterday because I was thinking about my grandmother.
She wrote so many poems and made so many paintings that she never let anyone see.
She couldn’t handle the scorn. But she couldn’t NOT create things.
She was afraid of the ocean, thought it was this massive, beautiful deadly force.
Men can be like that too sometimes, she told me. I don’t know why we are expected to be so strong. Why must we be so strong and vulnerable?
I was like ten when she asked me that so I didn’t have an answer.
This painting is inspired by one of her paintings that she left unfinished. I don’t know if she had copied the original or if it was her own, but the woman walking across a realistic earth, approaching the sea all huddled and afraid and then reaching out for the unreal sky makes me think of her. Afraid but reaching out.
I am not an artist. I have absolutely no training at all except for a high school art class, but all I want to do is paint.
I am not a great philosopher, but still I’m compelled to share what I think.
I sound like a muppet and slur my s’s, but still I’m making a podcast and I’m in charge of a really intensive online writing class that forces me to talk on video to 12 people every month. And the whole time I think – I am so afraid to do this. People will hear my voice and laugh (not in a good way).
All these things scare me so much.
And every time I write a book, I think:
What if nobody reads it?
What if nobody likes it?
But life and creating is all about vulnerability. It’s about saying yes to experiences even though it’s so scary. Yes, just writing a blog post is scary to me because it’s vulnerable.
What is it that makes you vulnerable?
What is it that makes you scared to say ‘yes’ to things?
Because here’s the thing: You are enough. You are good enough and real enough and authentic. Your story matters. And if other people don’t see it? Their loss. What matters is that YOU see it.
I’m totally trying to work on this right now. Seriously, all my tweets are about it. The podcast that’s premiering in February is about it.
Me: Aren’t you going to ask why I’m not going to whine about it?
Marsie: I’m a cat. I stopped caring. I’ll care about in like – 32 hours or if you bring out some cat nip or kitty snacks. Then I’ll be your best friend again for like… hm… 45 seconds.
Me:
Marsie: Just giving you the truth, human.
Me: I’m happy because today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day and I’m happy because I like the fact that you and Sparty the Dog kiss each other and snuggle.
Marsie: He’s warm.
Me:
Marsie: Fine, I love him.
Me: That’s why I’m okay this Monday. Even though things can suck and people can suck, there are these tiny little glimmers of hope that we might learn a thing or two from other people or from cats and dogs about love.
Marsie:
Me: What I’m trying to say is you inspire me, Marsie, because despite all your tough talk and kitty glares and cat face, you’re really just about the love.
Marsie: Human! Don’t tell! The other cats will mock me!
Me: Sorry, baby, they already know. Sometimes, they just choose not to remember.
And I’m super excited because I started teaching the online Writing Barn class and despite the fact that Sparty the Dog expelled gas out his rectum (REALLY LOUDLY) none of the students heard it. And I don’t think anyone noticed my gagging face either.
Sparty: Oops.
Finally, I’m moving forward with the podcast. I had to order a microphone, which was sort of terrifying because I know nothing about microphones. And honestly, I sound like a Muppet, so the whole thought of my voice just being out there? That sort of brings up childhood fears of bullying and one of my old teachers telling me that I’d never succeed at anything because of my s’s. I talk about that in Dear Bully. I’m still going to try though because I am done with fear keeping me from trying things, right? I’m going to channel my inner cat. I hope you do, too!
Share this if you want and also because it would be super nice of you!
A wise woman, Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Freedom makes a huge requirement of every human being. With freedom comes responsibility. For the person who is unwilling to grow up, the person who does not want to carry is own weight, this is a frightening prospect.”
For me, that responsibility comes with writing, with thinking about, ‘how can story make the world a tiny bit better,’ or ‘how can story and information help one person.’
And Harry Truman said,“America was not built on fear. America was built on courage, on imagination and an unbeatable determination to do the job at hand.”
There is so much that’s important in those quotes.
Fear is not what you want to build change on. You want to build a life and a story on courage and imagination. You need to be persistent. You need to be determined. You need to be responsible. And you need to guard your freedom to build those things. And you need to guard other people’s freedoms, too.
You want to build your life on faith and hope, on action, on one step at a time moving forward.
What are you doing to help other people?
What are you doing to help yourself?
What are you doing with your freedom? With your story?
Those are the truths I’m thinking about today.
Here is what I believe:
Your words matter.
Trying to write stories and truths?
It matters.
You matter.
That’s why I write. Because I want to remind myself what matters.
Writing News:
My Writing Barn class starts this Sunday and a high school student I mentor (volunteer gig) gives her senior presentation today, which is awesome. I’m so psyched for her and amazed by her.
My nonfiction picture book about Moe Berg, the pro ball player who was a spy, is still coming out March 1 and I’m super psyched about it. You can preorder it.
And… um… I’m starting a podcast. It’s going to be (cough) quirky. There’s truly no hope of it being anything else, honestly. I mean, I’m wearing handerpants.
Share this if you want and also because it would be super nice of you!
And all of this, plus Marsie’s interaction with the NECKLACE OF EVIL TANGLES, made me realize that so much joy comes from just exploration, of touching the shiny things, of creating something bizarre like an ice carousel, of doing what you’ve never done before.
