Chocolate Caramel Bars To Fight Sorrow In Case You Might Not Get A Birthday Cake or Whatever…

may be secretly terrified that nobody makes me a birthday cake for tomorrow, but I don’t want to admit this fear or bake my own in case someone else gets me one. Hint. Hint.

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Print Recipe
Chocolate Caramel Bars To Fight Sorrow
Cooking With a Writer Presents the Best Chocolate Caramel Bars To Fight Sorrow Recipe ever to clog your arteries and give you joy.
Prep Time 25 minutes
Cook Time 25 minutes
Servings
servings
Ingredients
Prep Time 25 minutes
Cook Time 25 minutes
Servings
servings
Ingredients
Cooking With a Writer Presents the Best Chocolate Caramel Bars To Fight Sorrow Recipe ever to clog your arteries and give you joy.
Instructions
  1. Okay. Let's say it's almost your birthday and you're worried that nobody is going to remember or make the effort to make you a cake. YOU ARE A WRITER! You can do anything and deal with any outcome. You will make cake bars and that way you aren't making your own cake, but you also get to celebrate your birthday with sugar. SO TURN THE OVEN ON 350 Fahrenheit.
  2. Do not cry.
  3. Making cakes is just not some people's love language. It's okay. YOU ARE STILL LOVED.
  4. Find a big bowl. Resist the urge to hide in it. Instead combine cake mix, butter and 1/3 cup of milk.
  5. Look at you, gifting yourself with the gift of sugar that will go straight to your already shaking hands. Go writer! You go!
  6. Find an electric mixer, put the speed on medium. Beat that stuff until it feels smooth and you don't want to beat against your chest anymore.
  7. Prepare a baking pan with some sort of non-stick help (a spray, butter, vegetable oil) and then put half the dough you just made on it. Wish that people loved you. Wish that writing books was this easy.
  8. Find a sauce pan and put it on medium low heat. Add caramels and rest of the milk (⅓ cup) and still until it's all melted. Again we want it smooth, unlike actual life with its bumps and holes to fall into. Smooth.
  9. Pour that over the dough in the pan.
  10. Put the nuts on top. Put the chocolate pieces on top. Cheat and eat the chocolate now. Write an ode to chocolate. Worry about global warming's impact on chocolate. Go recycle things and come back and vow not to buy so much.
  11. Feel hopeless.
  12. Eat another piece of chocolate while you still can and then pour the rest of the dough on top of everything. It should be smooth and beautiful.
  13. Put that pan in the stove and bake for 25 minutes. Let it cool. Write. Make it into nice even bars. Eat it while still hoping someone makes you a birthday cake.
Recipe Notes

This recipe was inspired by Midwest Living, which has a ton of recipes on its awesome site, which you should totally check out. 

I may be secretly terrified that nobody makes me a birthday cake for tomorrow, but I don’t want to admit this fear or bake my own in case someone else gets me one. Hint. Hint.

So, I did this instead.

DO NOT JUDGE!

Man Verdict: Have I ever forgotten to get you a birthday cake?

Dog Verdict: Please drop the whole tray.

My Verdict: Almost as good as cake.

Do not believe her. She is a woman who does this to me, her dog.

YouTube

We’ve started cooking on video. Shaun does this one and it’s our first, so be kind even as he does the Chicken Liver Thrust Dance. My video channel is also starting to host the podcast as well as writing tips and more. Check it out here. Please subscribe! It’s free!


WRITING AND OTHER NEWS

IN THE WOODS – READ AN EXCERPT, PREORDER NOW!

My next book, IN THE WOODS, appears in July with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed!

You can preorder this bad boy, which might make it have a sequel. The sequel would be amazing. Believe me, I know. It features caves and monsters and love. Because doesn’t every story?

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is b5314ed645a47991655395d180f52f5c.jpg

HEAR MY BOOK BABY (AND MORE) ON PATREON

On February first, I’m going to launch my Patreon site where I’ll be reading chapters (in order) of a never-published teen fantasy novel, releasing deleted scenes and art from some of my more popular books. And so much more.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is The-Last-Gods-3.jpg

WHAT IS PATREON? 

A lot of you might be new to Patreon and not get how it works. That’s totally cool. New things can be scary, but there’s a cool primer HERE that explains how it works. The short of it is this: You give Patreon your paypal or credit card # and they charge you whatever you level you choose at the end of each month. That money supports me sharing my writing and art and podcasts and weirdness with you. 

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is Superheroes-7-1.jpg


HELP US AND DO AN AWESOME GOOD DEED

Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness on the DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE podcast as we talk about random thoughts, writing advice and life tips. We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of. Please share it and subscribe if you can. Please rate and like us if you are feeling kind, because it matters somehow. There’s a new episode every Tuesday!


BE A PART OF THE PODCAST!

Hey! If you download the Anchor application, you can call into the podcast, record a question, or just say ‘hi,’ and we’ll answer. You can be heard on our podcast! Sa-sweet!

No question is too wild. But just like Shaun does, try not to swear, okay?

Here is the link to the mobile app. Our latest episode is below. It’s also on YouTube here.

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Chocolate Caramel Bars To Fight Sorrow


Print Recipe


Chocolate Caramel Bars To Fight Sorrow

Cooking With a Writer Presents the Best Chocolate Caramel Bars To Fight Sorrow Recipe ever to clog your arteries and give you joy.

Prep Time 25 minutes
Cook Time 25 minutes

Servings
servings


Ingredients

Prep Time 25 minutes
Cook Time 25 minutes

Servings
servings


Ingredients

Cooking With a Writer Presents the Best Chocolate Caramel Bars To Fight Sorrow Recipe ever to clog your arteries and give you joy.


Instructions
  1. Okay. Let's say it's almost your birthday and you're worried that nobody is going to remember or make the effort to make you a cake. YOU ARE A WRITER! You can do anything and deal with any outcome. You will make cake bars and that way you aren't making your own cake, but you also get to celebrate your birthday with sugar.
    SO TURN THE OVEN ON 350 Fahrenheit.

  2. Do not cry.

  3. Making cakes is just not some people's love language. It's okay. YOU ARE STILL LOVED.

  4. Find a big bowl. Resist the urge to hide in it. Instead combine cake mix, butter and 1/3 cup of milk.

  5. Look at you, gifting yourself with the gift of sugar that will go straight to your already shaking hands. Go writer! You go!

  6. Find an electric mixer, put the speed on medium. Beat that stuff until it feels smooth and you don't want to beat against your chest anymore.

  7. Prepare a baking pan with some sort of non-stick help (a spray, butter, vegetable oil) and then put half the dough you just made on it. Wish that people loved you. Wish that writing books was this easy.

  8. Find a sauce pan and put it on medium low heat. Add caramels and rest of the milk (⅓ cup) and still until it's all melted. Again we want it smooth, unlike actual life with its bumps and holes to fall into. Smooth.

  9. Pour that over the dough in the pan.

  10. Put the nuts on top. Put the chocolate pieces on top. Cheat and eat the chocolate now. Write an ode to chocolate. Worry about global warming's impact on chocolate. Go recycle things and come back and vow not to buy so much.

  11. Feel hopeless.

  12. Eat another piece of chocolate while you still can and then pour the rest of the dough on top of everything. It should be smooth and beautiful.

  13. Put that pan in the stove and bake for 25 minutes. Let it cool. Write. Make it into nice even bars. Eat it while still hoping someone makes you a birthday cake.


Recipe Notes

This recipe was inspired by Midwest Living, which has a ton of recipes on its awesome site, which you should totally check out. 

Zombie Deer, Emotions are Contagious & Carrie Makes No Sense at 2:30 a.m.

When you’re in a business or nonprofit or just in your house, you’ll often notice that emotions are kind of like the flu. They can be easy to catch.

When your friend is angry because someone is being a punk on Facebook, you often get angry, too. When your kid is sad, you can get sad. Emotions from others often seep into us, especially in a workplace.

Let’s say everyone is super excited at a writing conference. Are you going to get super excited, too? Probably.

It’s all about mirror neurons, emotional intelligence, and biomimicry.

Put simply, emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and control our own emotions and the emotions of other people. Matt Hunckler for Forbes

Part of emotional intelligence is understanding that we often adopt or mimic the expressions, behavior and emotion of those we spend a great deal of time with.

Those bonds can help us or hurt us.

Research from University of Oklahoma and University of Texas at Austin shows that when individuals dislike the same people or find a common dislike of something in general, all of a sudden those individuals have a bond that easily turns into a friendship because it’s a connection.


What’s the life lesson in this? Take a minute and reflect, asking yourself:


What types of emotion do I give off and how does that affect others I interact with such as my family, roommates, team mates, colleagues, etc.?


How easily do I let others effect my emotions? Do I even know it is happening? Check out the Emotional Contagion Scale to see how vulnerable you are.


Are the people in my social networks the type of people I really want to surround myself with?


Are there actions or changes I need to make?Jodi Schulz for Michigan State University

When it comes to writing, figure out how you can use the contagion of emotion to shift your main character’s (or other’s) world view and actions. Our characters are not static things and just like real people, they should be impacted (and impact) those around them.

WRITING TIP OF THE POD:

When you write, remember that relationships and characters are about connections and those around them impact their growth and emotions.

DOG TIP FOR LIFE

If emotions are contagious, pick your pack wisely. Don’t hang around with the growling jerks. Hang around with the dogs who wag their tails and keep you happy.


SHOUT OUT!

The music we’ve clipped and shortened in this podcast is awesome and is made available through the Creative Commons License. Here’s a link to that and the artist’s website. Who is this artist and what is this song?  It’s “Night Owl” by Broke For Free.

Bar Harbor Maine
Bar Harbor Maine – Next to our house, actually





WRITING AND OTHER NEWS

IN THE WOODS – READ AN EXCERPT, PREORDER NOW!

My next book, IN THE WOODS, appears in July with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed!

You can preorder this bad boy, which might make it have a sequel. The sequel would be amazing. Believe me, I know. It features caves and monsters and love. Because doesn’t every story?

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is b5314ed645a47991655395d180f52f5c.jpg

HEAR MY BOOK BABY (AND MORE) ON PATREON

On February first, I’m going to launch my Patreon site where I’ll be reading chapters (in order) of a never-published teen fantasy novel, releasing deleted scenes and art from some of my more popular books. And so much more.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is The-Last-Gods-3.jpg

WHAT IS PATREON? 

A lot of you might be new to Patreon and not get how it works. That’s totally cool. New things can be scary, but there’s a cool primer HERE that explains how it works. The short of it is this: You give Patreon your paypal or credit card # and they charge you whatever you level you choose at the end of each month. That money supports me sharing my writing and art and podcasts and weirdness with you. 

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is Superheroes-7-1.jpg


HELP US AND DO AN AWESOME GOOD DEED

Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness on the DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE podcast as we talk about random thoughts, writing advice and life tips. We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of. Please share it and subscribe if you can. Please rate and like us if you are feeling kind, because it matters somehow. There’s a new episode every Tuesday!


BE A PART OF THE PODCAST!

Hey! If you download the Anchor application, you can call into the podcast, record a question, or just say ‘hi,’ and we’ll answer. You can be heard on our podcast! Sa-sweet!

No question is too wild. But just like Shaun does, try not to swear, okay?

Here is the link to the mobile app.

ART.

I do art stuff. You can find it and buy a print here. 

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is IMG_9486.jpeg

TIME STOPPERS!

You can order my middle grade fantasy novel Time Stoppers Escape From the Badlands here or anywhere.

People call it a cross between Harry Potter and Percy Jackson but it’s set in Maine. It’s full of adventure, quirkiness and heart.

Time Stoppers Carrie Jones Middle grade fantasy

FLYING AND ENHANCED

Men in Black meet Buffy the Vampire Slayer? You know it. You can buy them here or anywhere. It’s fun, accessible science fiction.

31702754 copy

Zombie Deer, Carrie at 2:30 a.m. and Emotions Are Contagious

When you’re in a business or nonprofit or just in your house, you’ll often notice that emotions are kind of like the flu. They can be easy to catch.

When your friend is angry because someone is being a punk on Facebook, you often get angry, too. When your kid is sad, you can get sad. Emotions from others often seep into us, especially in a workplace.

Let’s say everyone is super excited at a writing conference. Are you going to get super excited, too? Probably.

It’s all about mirror neurons, emotional intelligence, and biomimicry.

Put simply, emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and control our own emotions and the emotions of other people. 

Matt Hunckler for Forbes

Part of emotional intelligence is understanding that we often adopt or mimic the expressions, behavior and emotion of those we spend a great deal of time with.

Those bonds can help us or hurt us.

Research from University of Oklahoma and University of Texas at Austin shows that when individuals dislike the same people or find a common dislike of something in general, all of a sudden those individuals have a bond that easily turns into a friendship because it’s a connection.


What’s the life lesson in this? Take a minute and reflect, asking yourself:


What types of emotion do I give off and how does that affect others I interact with such as my family, roommates, team mates, colleagues, etc.?


How easily do I let others effect my emotions? Do I even know it is happening? Check out the Emotional Contagion Scale to see how vulnerable you are.


Are the people in my social networks the type of people I really want to surround myself with?


Are there actions or changes I need to make?

Jodi Schulz for Michigan State University

When it comes to writing, figure out how you can use the contagion of emotion to shift your main character’s (or other’s) world view and actions. Our characters are not static things and just like real people, they should be impacted (and impact) those around them.

WRITING TiP OF THE POD:

When you write, remember that relationships and characters are about connections and those around them impact their growth and emotions.

DOG TIP FOR LIFE

If emotions are contagious, pick your pack wisely. Don’t hang around with the growling jerks. Hang around with the dogs who wag their tails and keep you happy.


SHOUT OUT!

The music we’ve clipped and shortened in this podcast is awesome and is made available through the Creative Commons License. Here’s a link to that and the artist’s website. Who is this artist and what is this song?  It’s “Night Owl” by Broke For Free.

Bar Harbor Maine
Bar Harbor Maine – Next to our house, actually


WRITING AND OTHER NEWS

IN THE WOODS – READ AN EXCERPT, PREORDER NOW!

My next book, IN THE WOODS, appears in July with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed!

You can preorder this bad boy, which might make it have a sequel. The sequel would be amazing. Believe me, I know. It features caves and monsters and love. Because doesn’t every story?

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is b5314ed645a47991655395d180f52f5c.jpg

HEAR MY BOOK BABY (AND MORE) ON PATREON

On February first, I’m going to launch my Patreon site where I’ll be reading chapters (in order) of a never-published teen fantasy novel, releasing deleted scenes and art from some of my more popular books. And so much more.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is The-Last-Gods-3.jpg

WHAT IS PATREON? 

A lot of you might be new to Patreon and not get how it works. That’s totally cool. New things can be scary, but there’s a cool primer HERE that explains how it works. The short of it is this: You give Patreon your paypal or credit card # and they charge you whatever you level you choose at the end of each month. That money supports me sharing my writing and art and podcasts and weirdness with you. 

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is Superheroes-7-1.jpg


HELP US AND DO AN AWESOME GOOD DEED

Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness on the DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE podcast as we talk about random thoughts, writing advice and life tips. We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of. Please share it and subscribe if you can. Please rate and like us if you are feeling kind, because it matters somehow. There’s a new episode every Tuesday!


BE A PART OF THE PODCAST!

Hey! If you download the Anchor application, you can call into the podcast, record a question, or just say ‘hi,’ and we’ll answer. You can be heard on our podcast! Sa-sweet!

No question is too wild. But just like Shaun does, try not to swear, okay?

Here is the link to the mobile app.

ART.

I do art stuff. You can find it and buy a print here. 

TIME STOPPERS!

You can order my middle grade fantasy novel Time Stoppers Escape From the Badlands here or anywhere.

People call it a cross between Harry Potter and Percy Jackson but it’s set in Maine. It’s full of adventure, quirkiness and heart.

Time Stoppers Carrie Jones Middle grade fantasy

FLYING AND ENHANCED

Men in Black meet Buffy the Vampire Slayer? You know it. You can buy them here or anywhere. It’s fun, accessible science fiction.

31702754 copy

Zombie Deer, Carrie at 2:30 a.m. and Emotions Are Contagious

 
 
00:00 / 00:23:22
 
1X
 

Rejection Doesn’t Have to Be the End

The first story I ever wrote was not the first one I published. It was the story I made up for Em, my kiddo, when we were in the car while I drove to assignments when I worked for our local paper.

Em
Em

I loved this story so much because it was for Em and a piece of it got me into graduate school (It was part of my application) and because it made me realize (again) how much I’d loved writing stories.

I’d spent a lot of time being in crappy situations. My car became my bed for awhile. College-onset epilepsy thanks to a weird Epstein-Barr virus attacking my brain derailed my plans to go to Ireland, to go to law school, and lowered my cognitive abilities. Some people were tremendously mean to me, people that were supposed to love me.

And I forgot who I was and what I loved (other than Em) until I started writing that story.

That sounds like a perfect trope, doesn’t it? Woman finds self by being a writer, becomes international bestseller, blah-blah-blah. Suddenly she is bathed in romantic lighting, hair flitting around her, singing show tunes or something, birds alighting on her wrist?

It wasn’t like that. My writing journey was hard and full of self-doubt and rejection.

I tell a lot of the writers that I mentor not to give up on their old stories, but to put them away for a bit. Writing isn’t a straight line to success and life isn’t always like that either. This post from pre-published Carrie back in 2005 totally shows that.

Hold on.

Today, is my whining day.


Two days left before Christmas and nothing is done. I haven’t bought presents for my parents yet! This is very, very bad.

But that isn’t the problem. The problem is that today I had the epiphany that I am THE STINKIEST WRITER IN THE WORLD and that I am NEVER EVER GOING TO GET PUBLISHED and that I’m spending $6,000 a semester to be a better writer, which means…. what? I won’t be as horrible as I was before, but still not any good. I am like the super ugly girl who keeps entering beauty contests. I keep losing, but I keep deluding myself that trying is a good thing. I really am pretty/an okay writer/not hideous really, really, really.

All of this is because today I received a rejection notice from Scholastic. They took my story off the slush pile and kept it for a couple weeks and then rejected me… on DECEMBER 23… MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

What did I do? Oh, I am mature. I sat in the Subaru in the parking lot at the post office, put my head on the steering wheel and sobbed while my my friend pet my back, and my sweet little girl watched from the backseat, telling me that my story was “Super, super good and that editor just didn’t have good taste.”

I kept crying.

Now, I know I’ve given her something to talk about in therapy when she’s in her 20s…. “My mom was so weak. My mom didn’t believe in herself.”

Thinking about that just made me more depressed, of course.

Truth Time

That story didn’t get published in 2005. It didn’t get published in 2007. It didn’t get published in 2009. I published it in 2016 after I’d published a lot of other books.

This is that book.

Time Stoppers Middle Grade Fantasy Series by Carrie Jones
Time Stoppers Front – US versions

Time Stoppers is still my favorite because it is about friendship and magic and has crow monsters and dragons, but it’s also my favorite because it made me a writer. It made me persistent. Time Stoppers made me cry in cars. It made me push through rejection. This book made me be able to tell other writers, “Don’t give up. You’ve got this. Write.” I knew that it could happen because it happened for me.

So here, writers:

Don’t give up.

You have stories.

Your stories deserve to be heard.

Keep writing.

You don’t need to be a writer to hear this.

Don’t give up.

You have stories.

Your stories deserve to be heard.

Keep writing.




WRITING AND OTHER NEWS

IN THE WOODS – READ AN EXCERPT, PREORDER NOW!

My next book, IN THE WOODS, appears in July with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed!

You can preorder this bad boy, which might make it have a sequel. The sequel would be amazing. Believe me, I know. It features caves and monsters and love. Because doesn’t every story?

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is b5314ed645a47991655395d180f52f5c.jpg

YouTube and Us

We’ve started (slowly) to post videos on YouTube. I hope you’ll check them out. They aren’t (cough) high-tech, but they are high-goofy.

HEAR MY BOOK BABY (AND MORE) ON PATREON

On February first, I’m going to launch my Patreon site where I’ll be reading chapters (in order) of a never-published teen fantasy novel, releasing deleted scenes and art from some of my more popular books. And so much more.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is The-Last-Gods-3.jpg

WHAT IS PATREON? 

A lot of you might be new to Patreon and not get how it works. That’s totally cool. New things can be scary, but there’s a cool primer HERE that explains how it works. The short of it is this: You give Patreon your paypal or credit card # and they charge you whatever you level you choose at the end of each month. That money supports me sharing my writing and art and podcasts and weirdness with you. 

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is Superheroes-7-1.jpg


HELP US AND DO AN AWESOME GOOD DEED

Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness on the DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE podcast as we talk about random thoughts, writing advice and life tips. We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of. Please share it and subscribe if you can. Please rate and like us if you are feeling kind, because it matters somehow. There’s a new episode every Tuesday!


BE A PART OF THE PODCAST!

Hey! If you download the Anchor application, you can call into the podcast, record a question, or just say ‘hi,’ and we’ll answer. You can be heard on our podcast! Sa-sweet!

No question is too wild. But just like Shaun does, try not to swear, okay?

Here is the link to the mobile app.

Authors Are LIARS – Let’s Pretend It Ain’t Winter Smoothie Recipe

Print Recipe
Let's Pretend It Ain't Winter Smoothie Recipe
This recipe is adapted from life and also an All Recipes by Licia McClung O'Neill! Many thanks to Licia!
Let's Pretend It Ain't Winter Smoothie Recipe
Course drinks, side dish
Prep Time 10 minutes
Cook Time 0 minutes
Passive Time 0 minutes
Servings
people
Ingredients
Course drinks, side dish
Prep Time 10 minutes
Cook Time 0 minutes
Passive Time 0 minutes
Servings
people
Ingredients
Let's Pretend It Ain't Winter Smoothie Recipe
Instructions
  1. Dear God, how is it still winter?
  2. Winter will never end
  3. Winter is not coming, Game of Thrones people. Winter is freaking here.
  4. Okay. Try to breathe. The days will eventually get longer. The sun will eventually shine. You can fight this! YOU CAN SURVIVE THIS NEVER-ENDING WHITENESS AND COLD.
  5. Find your blender. Wipe the ice off it. Remember all the happy times you and your blender had in the summer? You can do that again.
  6. Pour juice into blender.
  7. Remember being warm. Remember not having to constantly wear layers. Remember when your fingers weren't too frozen to text or type.
  8. Add fruit to blender.
  9. Though your brain is frozen, remember to put the cover on the blender and turn it on. Blend. Make it smooth. This takes 1 minute.
  10. Try not to drink summer right out of the blender, but put it in glasses (two). Drink. Remember what it was to be warm.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am not the best person to live in a climate that has winter.

I develop anxiety every night – just this slow-roll that starts at 8 p.m. and ends when I finally fall asleep. It’s like a constant hum of, “YOU WILL DIE SOON. HUMANS ARE MORTAL. THE NIGHT IS DARK AND SO IS YOUR FUTURE. MUAH-HA-HA-HA.”

Then I wake up. I’m fine. I look at the world of white and it starts again. If a psychiatrist ever looked at the use of ‘snow’ and ‘cold’ as imagery in my books they’d be like, “Yo, this writer has a vendetta against cold.”

And the above recipe? It was my attempt to trick my brain into summer-time thoughts. Did it work?

Man Verdict: This would be amazing with alcohol.

Dogs’ Verdict: This would be amazing with dog treats dipped inside. Where is the box of dog treats?

My Verdict: There is still snow outside, but inside of me is tropical.



WRITING AND OTHER NEWS

IN THE WOODS – READ AN EXCERPT, PREORDER NOW!

My next book, IN THE WOODS, appears in July with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed!

You can preorder this bad boy, which might make it have a sequel. The sequel would be amazing. Believe me, I know. It features caves and monsters and love. Because doesn’t every story?

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is b5314ed645a47991655395d180f52f5c.jpg

HEAR MY BOOK BABY (AND MORE) ON PATREON

On February first, I’m going to launch my Patreon site where I’ll be reading chapters (in order) of a never-published teen fantasy novel, releasing deleted scenes and art from some of my more popular books. And so much more.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is The-Last-Gods-3.jpg

WHAT IS PATREON? 

A lot of you might be new to Patreon and not get how it works. That’s totally cool. New things can be scary, but there’s a cool primer HERE that explains how it works. The short of it is this: You give Patreon your paypal or credit card # and they charge you whatever you level you choose at the end of each month. That money supports me sharing my writing and art and podcasts and weirdness with you. 

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is Superheroes-7-1.jpg


HELP US AND DO AN AWESOME GOOD DEED

Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness on the DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE podcast as we talk about random thoughts, writing advice and life tips. We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of. Please share it and subscribe if you can. Please rate and like us if you are feeling kind, because it matters somehow. There’s a new episode every Tuesday!


BE A PART OF THE PODCAST!

Hey! If you download the Anchor application, you can call into the podcast, record a question, or just say ‘hi,’ and we’ll answer. You can be heard on our podcast! Sa-sweet!

No question is too wild. But just like Shaun does, try not to swear, okay?

Here is the link to the mobile app.

ART.

I do art stuff. You can find it and buy a print here. 

Bar Harbor Art Carrie Jones Welcome to Magic
Bar Harbor Art Carrie Jones Welcome to Magic

TIME STOPPERS!

You can order my middle grade fantasy novel Time Stoppers Escape From the Badlands here or anywhere.

People call it a cross between Harry Potter and Percy Jackson but it’s set in Maine. It’s full of adventure, quirkiness and heart.

Time Stoppers Carrie Jones Middle grade fantasy

FLYING AND ENHANCED

Men in Black meet Buffy the Vampire Slayer? You know it. You can buy them here or anywhere. It’s fun, accessible science fiction. ImageImage

31702754 copy

Let’s Pretend It Ain’t Winter Smoothie Recipe


Print Recipe


Let's Pretend It Ain't Winter Smoothie Recipe

This recipe is adapted from life and also an All Recipes by Licia McClung O'Neill! Many thanks to Licia!

Let's Pretend It Ain't Winter Smoothie Recipe

Course drinks, side dish

Prep Time 10 minutes
Cook Time 0 minutes
Passive Time 0 minutes

Servings
people


Ingredients

Course drinks, side dish

Prep Time 10 minutes
Cook Time 0 minutes
Passive Time 0 minutes

Servings
people


Ingredients

Let's Pretend It Ain't Winter Smoothie Recipe


Instructions
  1. Dear God, how is it still winter?

  2. Winter will never end

  3. Winter is not coming, Game of Thrones people. Winter is freaking here.

  4. Okay. Try to breathe. The days will eventually get longer. The sun will eventually shine. You can fight this! YOU CAN SURVIVE THIS NEVER-ENDING WHITENESS AND COLD.

  5. Find your blender. Wipe the ice off it. Remember all the happy times you and your blender had in the summer? You can do that again.

  6. Pour juice into blender.

  7. Remember being warm.

    Remember not having to constantly wear layers.

    Remember when your fingers weren't too frozen to text or type.

  8. Add fruit to blender.

  9. Though your brain is frozen, remember to put the cover on the blender and turn it on. Blend. Make it smooth. This takes 1 minute.

  10. Try not to drink summer right out of the blender, but put it in glasses (two). Drink. Remember what it was to be warm.

Writing Weirdly – When You aren’t exactly a plotser or a pantser

While I was at Vermont College my first semester, one of the teachers, Alison McGhee, mentioned off-handedly that when she wrote one of her many brilliant, amazing books she wrote it all in a rush, just page after page. She didn’t write it with an eye for structure. She didn’t write it with a specific linear plot in mind. She wrote it looking for emotion and heart and depth.

I told my then-editor at Flux, Andrew Karre (who is super cool), about this and he dubbed it: THE ALISON MCGHEE METHOD. He also dubbed it: SEXY.

Sexy?

Since all my life I have secretly (okay… not so secretly wanted to be less cuddly and more sexy) I immediately told him that this was how I wrote LOVE AND OTHER USES FOR DUCT TAPE.

He squeed in a masculine way.

I had suddenly become sexy. Finally. After how many years?

So Many Years

Anyway, on her website, Alison McGhee writes, “As a writer, what I like best is to sit by myself in a room, spinning out words and sentences and paragraphs and stories. No music. No telephone. Nothing but the silent light coming through the window and the people taking shape in my noisy mind. Writing is my only church.”

That’s an interesting quote when you think about the method.

The method is writing. Just writing at first. Writing and writing and writing some more. And while you are writing, you are not worrying about plot as a device to keep you moving, but instead worrying about going into the soul of your character, going deep into that absolute place where your character’s identity is, and rushing inside it, holding it up and becoming one with it.

The thing is you don’t have to be a plotter or a pantser. You just have to be a writer.

That method is not how I always write, but it’s really how I wrote my first two published books: TIPS ON HAVING A GAY (ex) BOYFRIEND and LOVE AND OTHER USES FOR DUCT TAPE.


How is it different?

It instinctively adds more layers of image and emotion to your work.

 
Things like theme resonate a lot.


Consistency errors pop up like crazy and you need people with super sharp eyes to catch them.


It makes the tension of the story (the compulsion to keep reading) not something that’s in the plot but something that’s in the character.



WRITING AND OTHER NEWS

IN THE WOODS – READ AN EXCERPT, PREORDER NOW!

My next book, IN THE WOODS, appears in July with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed!

You can preorder this bad boy, which might make it have a sequel. The sequel would be amazing. Believe me, I know. It features caves and monsters and love. Because doesn’t every story?

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is b5314ed645a47991655395d180f52f5c.jpg

HEAR MY BOOK BABY (AND MORE) ON PATREON

On February first, I’m going to launch my Patreon site where I’ll be reading chapters (in order) of a never-published teen fantasy novel, releasing deleted scenes and art from some of my more popular books. And so much more.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is The-Last-Gods-3.jpg

WHAT IS PATREON? 

A lot of you might be new to Patreon and not get how it works. That’s totally cool. New things can be scary, but there’s a cool primer HERE that explains how it works. The short of it is this: You give Patreon your paypal or credit card # and they charge you whatever you level you choose at the end of each month. That money supports me sharing my writing and art and podcasts and weirdness with you. 

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is Superheroes-7-1.jpg


HELP US AND DO AN AWESOME GOOD DEED

Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness on the DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE podcast as we talk about random thoughts, writing advice and life tips. We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of. Please share it and subscribe if you can. Please rate and like us if you are feeling kind, because it matters somehow. There’s a new episode every Tuesday!


BE A PART OF THE PODCAST!

Hey! If you download the Anchor application, you can call into the podcast, record a question, or just say ‘hi,’ and we’ll answer. You can be heard on our podcast! Sa-sweet!

No question is too wild. But just like Shaun does, try not to swear, okay?

Here is the link to the mobile app.

ART.

I do art stuff. You can find it and buy a print here. 

Bar Harbor Art Carrie Jones Welcome to Magic
Bar Harbor Art Carrie Jones Welcome to Magic

TIME STOPPERS!

You can order my middle grade fantasy novel Time Stoppers Escape From the Badlands here or anywhere.

People call it a cross between Harry Potter and Percy Jackson but it’s set in Maine. It’s full of adventure, quirkiness and heart.

Time Stoppers Carrie Jones Middle grade fantasy

FLYING AND ENHANCED

Men in Black meet Buffy the Vampire Slayer? You know it. You can buy them here or anywhere. It’s fun, accessible science fiction. ImageImage

31702754 copy

Weird Things About Us

This week we’re pretty low-key chill with an off-format podcast about the weird things about us

Basically, we answer some of our listener’s questions.

We forgot the hardest one, which is:

HOW DOES CARRIE GET EVERYTHING DONE?

That one took too much time, so we’ll share it next week.

We love you all and thank you so much for your awesome questions.

Dogs are Smarter Than People podcast
Why do you choose to live this way, humans?

SHOUT OUT!

The music we’ve clipped and shortened in this podcast is awesome and is made available through the Creative Commons License. Here’s a link to that and the artist’s website. Who is this artist and what is this song?  It’s “Night Owl” by Broke For Free.


WRITING AND OTHER NEWS

IN THE WOODS – READ AN EXCERPT, PREORDER NOW!

My next book, IN THE WOODS, appears in July with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed!

You can preorder this bad boy, which might make it have a sequel. The sequel would be amazing. Believe me, I know. It features caves and monsters and love. Because doesn’t every story?

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is b5314ed645a47991655395d180f52f5c.jpg

HEAR MY BOOK BABY (AND MORE) ON PATREON

On February first, I’m going to launch my Patreon site where I’ll be reading chapters (in order) of a never-published teen fantasy novel, releasing deleted scenes and art from some of my more popular books. And so much more.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is The-Last-Gods-3.jpg

WHAT IS PATREON? 

A lot of you might be new to Patreon and not get how it works. That’s totally cool. New things can be scary, but there’s a cool primer HERE that explains how it works. The short of it is this: You give Patreon your paypal or credit card # and they charge you whatever you level you choose at the end of each month. That money supports me sharing my writing and art and podcasts and weirdness with you. 

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is Superheroes-7-1.jpg


HELP US AND DO AN AWESOME GOOD DEED

Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness on the DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE podcast as we talk about random thoughts, writing advice and life tips. We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of. Please share it and subscribe if you can. Please rate and like us if you are feeling kind, because it matters somehow. There’s a new episode every Tuesday!


BE A PART OF THE PODCAST!

Hey! If you download the Anchor application, you can call into the podcast, record a question, or just say ‘hi,’ and we’ll answer. You can be heard on our podcast! Sa-sweet!

No question is too wild. But just like Shaun does, try not to swear, okay?

Here is the link to the mobile app.

ART.

I do art stuff. You can find it and buy a print here. 

Bar Harbor Art Carrie Jones Welcome to Magic
Bar Harbor Art Carrie Jones Welcome to Magic

TIME STOPPERS!

You can order my middle grade fantasy novel Time Stoppers Escape From the Badlands here or anywhere.

People call it a cross between Harry Potter and Percy Jackson but it’s set in Maine. It’s full of adventure, quirkiness and heart.

Time Stoppers Carrie Jones Middle grade fantasy

FLYING AND ENHANCED

Men in Black meet Buffy the Vampire Slayer? You know it. You can buy them here or anywhere. It’s fun, accessible science fiction. Image

31702754 copy

When You Don’t Have to Say Anything – The Magic of Step Dads and Living From Love Not Fear

It would have been so much easier for my tired dad to leave those girls at their homes, for me not to have a birthday party. He had an out. There was a blizzard.

There was blizzard on the same day as my 11thbirthday party. 

            My mom was packing back and forth across our cramped kitchen’s linoleum floors as one mother after another called to cancel because of the road conditions, the wind, the snow billowing down. The cabinets were old pine, so knotty that I’d use my fingers to draw faces in between the dark circles, connecting the blackness into eyes, a nose, a mouth, something less scary. I would have used a black magic marker to make those faces real if I could, but I wasn’t the type of kid who did that sort of thing. I was the type of kid who followed the rules, who hugged their friends, who cared about everyone’s feelings more than her own, trying desperately to fit in to a town that had exploded with wealth. 

Everyone was rich except us. You get used to that after awhile, but that doesn’t mean you’re ever cool with it. 

My mom wasn’t cool with it either and she always felt excluded and looked-down on. My dad built our ranch house sixteen years before I was born and back then our town was little and all lower working class people. Tractor salesmen were a big deal. Truckers like him were the norm. All the men volunteered at the fire department and everyone knew the three cops by name. My mom was the town clerk back then. But there was a bit of a tech bubble and all these people moved up from Massachusetts, building subdivisions filled with McMansions and wearing clothes that weren’t from K-Mart. We weren’t the norm anymore. We were below.

            And when my parents divorced, we became poor even after my mom and stepdad married because although he was a contractor, he’d moved all the way from California to marry her and he’d had to build up his business from scratch.  When he died was when my Nana would get government cheese for us. Mom would take the giant blocks with a grimace and Nana would say, “But you love cheese. You work hard.”

But this isn’t about my nana. This is about my bonus dad.

           On the blizzard day of my birthday party, his little green Toyota truck trundled up the hill towards the house, a Kermit-The-Frog colored beacon in the snow. Mom joined me at the picture window, arms crossed over her chest, staring out at him trying to make it up the hill, failing as the truck slid backwards a bit, trying again. 

 “I’m sorry, baby,” she whispered. 

“It’s okay,” I told her, but she knew I was lying. 

 Daddy parked the truck and started walking up the hill. She left me to meet him in the kitchen. I leaned my head against the cold pane of the window, listening. He stomped his boots free of the snow and then the whisperings started. I didn’t need to listen. I knew she was telling him about the cancellations, how I actually cried, which I was horrified about. There was the gross sound of lips smacking against each other. Kissing. Muffled noises of secret conversations sounded just below my hearing capabilities.

Daddy came into the living room. His socks were stained from where snow leaked into his boots. The snow line on his pants went up almost to his knees. He held his arms open and I ran into them. 

 “Hey, Miss America, you doing okay?” He had a gruff voice from decades of cigarettes, and it was soft spoken. Old people had to lean in sometimes when he talked, which wasn’t much. He never talked much.

“I’m okay.” I lied again. It was my favorite lie. 

 He kissed the top of my head. 

 “Your mom told me what’s going on.”

“Nobody can come.”

 “I know, I heard.” He bent down and pulled the sock off one foot, exposing dark skin, wiggling toes. Then he moved to the other. “She’s going to make some phone calls and we’re going to see if those scaredy-cat moms will let me go get their girls and bring them here.”

“Really?” I squealed.

 He handed me his wet socks and moved over to the couch. “Really. You get me some new socks, put those on the sink to dry and we have a deal okay?”

 “Deal!” 

 About 15 minutes later, only one mother refused to let my dad pick up her daughter. Mom kissed his cheek, I gave him a great big hug and he ventured out into the storm, picking up five girls. They smooshed together in his truck and later he told me that they all chattered the entire time.

“I didn’t have to say anything.” He tucked me in the next night, after all the sleeping bags were rolled up, the presents tucked away, and the last of my yellow cake with chocolate frosting was being digested in a rumbling stomach. 

The thing is he usually didn’t have to say anything. His love showed in everything he did. There’s a certain magic in that, in acting with love and confidence.

When we have time to choose and make decisions, we often have a moment to think about our intent. Are we acting with love or because of fear?

Here’s a really interesting article about how our intentions and our fear often close us down to opportunity and happiness. We might be afraid to get hurt by loved ones or afraid of losing control over a work situation so we keep information to ourselves, refuse to delegate, are guarded.

But if we let the fear control us then we become that fear. We lose our ability to expand, to share our stories, to pick up little girls during a blizzard.

In a post on Psychology Today’s website, Nancy Collier speaks about ‘operating from love.’

I like this Quote. It is Wise.

Operating from love is to set our own ego aside long enough to listen to the experience of the other, to be courageous enough to be willing to try and understand what the other person is experiencing, no matter how radically different it is from what we intended to happen, think happened, or believe was the cause of what happened. It is to have the strength of heart to understand and open our heart to what the pain is that the other is skillfully or unskillfully trying to express. A response (not reaction) that comes from love is listening to the other’s upset as if we were just ears hearing, ears alone, not ears attached to a head, attached to an ego, attached to an identity, attached to a person intent on remaining intact and unchanged. 

Collier, LCSW, Rev

It would have been so much easier for my tired dad to leave those girls at their homes, for me not to have a birthday party. He had an out. There was a blizzard. He didn’t because he acted out of love. In small and big ways, we have choices every day where we can listen to our intentions and understand why we do what we do.

So What Does It Mean to Live From Love?

To live from love not fear, on a practical level, is to shift from a goal of protecting our ego, being right, winning the argument, being not to blame, and move into actually being kind, being loving—in our actions. It is to be willing to stop proving that we’re a good person and actually be that good person—to be courageous enough to open our heart and be love even when our ego is screaming in fear.   

Collier again

It sounds pretty good, doesn’t it? I hope we all can start moving forward in this journey with that intent.


WRITING AND OTHER NEWS

IN THE WOODS – READ AN EXCERPT, PREORDER NOW!

My next book, IN THE WOODS, appears in July with Steve Wedel. It’s scary and one of Publisher’s Weekly’s Buzz Books for Summer 2019. There’s an excerpt of it there and everything! But even cooler (for me) they’ve deemed it buzz worthy! Buzz worthy seems like an awesome thing to be deemed!

You can preorder this bad boy, which might make it have a sequel. The sequel would be amazing. Believe me, I know. It features caves and monsters and love. Because doesn’t every story?

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is b5314ed645a47991655395d180f52f5c.jpg

HEAR MY BOOK BABY (AND MORE) ON PATREON

On February first, I’m going to launch my Patreon site where I’ll be reading chapters (in order) of a never-published teen fantasy novel, releasing deleted scenes and art from some of my more popular books. And so much more.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is The-Last-Gods-3.jpg

WHAT IS PATREON? 

A lot of you might be new to Patreon and not get how it works. That’s totally cool. New things can be scary, but there’s a cool primer HERE that explains how it works. The short of it is this: You give Patreon your paypal or credit card # and they charge you whatever you level you choose at the end of each month. That money supports me sharing my writing and art and podcasts and weirdness with you. 

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is Superheroes-7-1.jpg


HELP US AND DO AN AWESOME GOOD DEED

Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness on the DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE podcast as we talk about random thoughts, writing advice and life tips. We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of. Please share it and subscribe if you can. Please rate and like us if you are feeling kind, because it matters somehow. There’s a new episode every Tuesday! Here are our last two episodes!


BE A PART OF THE PODCAST!

Hey! If you download the Anchor application, you can call into the podcast, record a question, or just say ‘hi,’ and we’ll answer. You can be heard on our podcast! Sa-sweet!

No question is too wild. But just like Shaun does, try not to swear, okay?

Here is the link to the mobile app and our bonus podcast below.

ART.

I do art stuff. You can find it and buy a print here. 

Bar Harbor Art Carrie Jones Welcome to Magic
Bar Harbor Art Carrie Jones Welcome to Magic

TIME STOPPERS!

You can order my middle grade fantasy novel Time Stoppers Escape From the Badlands here or anywhere.

People call it a cross between Harry Potter and Percy Jackson but it’s set in Maine. It’s full of adventure, quirkiness and heart.

Time Stoppers Carrie Jones Middle grade fantasy

MOE BERG 

The Spy Who Played Baseball is a picture book biography about Moe Berg. And… there’s a movie out now about Moe Berg, a major league baseball player who became a spy. How cool is that?

It’s awesome and quirky and fun.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is My-Post-copy-6.jpg

FLYING AND ENHANCED

Men in Black meet Buffy the Vampire Slayer? You know it. You can buy them here or anywhere. It’s fun, accessible science fiction. Who knew there was such a thing?

31702754 copy