So, if you know anything about me in real life (or live in my town), you know that I have a love-hate thing going on with running.
Full disclosure: I suck at running. I am more of a slogger (slow jogger).
Other full disclosure: I don’t care that I suck and people yell to me, “Good job! You’ve got this! Don’t die! Do you need an ambulance?”
When I was a little kid (despite the fact that I was chronically breaking leg bones and spraining ankles and tearing up my knees), my dream was to run a marathon.
Last year my dream was to run a half marathon. And I did, but not in an actual event-event because I chickened out and then I got really sick in February and lost my entire upper respiratory system somehow.
And I have to build back up again.
Something like this happens every single time. I train. I get hurt. I start over.
Now my dream is to run a 5k in an actual race-type situation where you get a number and a t-shirt and have to follow course markers and stuff.
Obviously, I am old. Dreams get a bit down-sized sometimes.
And I train.
But then I break.
I start over. Right now I’m on week eight of the Couch to 10K program, waiting to break.
Seriously. I am always breaking. I run with two knee braces. I get plantar fasciitis. Once, my hip sort of popped out. People can spot me by those braces. They do. All the time.
So what does this have to do with being brave?
It’s the starting again part. It’s the knowing that I’m probably going to fail again part, that I’ll be too scared to sign up for a run (when we can have them) because of my social anxiety, that I’ll get hurt again and be hobbling around for months.
But I still do it because it’s a goal. It’s a want. It’s like writing. People might reject your book or send you hate mail or stalk you, but it doesn’t matter.
What matters is the want.
And being brave is going after the want.
How about you? Are you going after those wants? Even when you’re broken? Let me know, okay? That way I can cheer you on. We all need cheering on especially right now, right?
NEW BOOK ALERT!
My little novella (It’s spare. It’s sad) is out and it’s just $1,99. It is a book of my heart and I am so worried about it, honestly.
There’s a bit more about it here.