Tag: amwriting

Death By Christmas Tree; the U.S. has always been a hot mess

Back in 2008,  a man in Florida basically tried to kill his father with a Christmas Tree.
At first, in some horrible, weird way, I was kind of impressed, because seriously, how ironic and anti-Christmas is death by Christmas tree? Like, if I wrote that in a book some reviewer would say, “Jones’ quirky writing style sometime stretches the boundaries of the imagination. The Christmas tree assault was highly unbelievable.”
But the Florida Christmas Tree Incident really happened.
And I was also kind of impressed because this man tried to throw the tree at his dad, which made me think: Wow. Superman Strong. Captain America Strong. That’s strong.
But I was unimpressed because let’s face it — It’s never cool to try to kill your father unless your father is Darth Vadar.

Darth was at the Criterion Theatre last year. He was scary. Also, his zipper broke. You can tell he was angry about me noticing this as I took his photo.

EDITED TO ADD; SORRY! SORRY! IT IS NEVER COOL TO KILL DARTH VADER. VOLDEMORT? HE’S OKAY. RIGHT? 

It’s so bizarre because the Christmas tree is currently a symbol of family, of light in the darkness, of celebrating Jesus’ birth.

In 2004, the Pope called the tree a ‘symbol of Christ.’ Anyway, it turns out that the tree was not a normal-sized Christmas tree that touches the ceiling. It was a mini tree. A MINI CHRISTMAS TREE! This man tried to kill his dad with a three-foot-tall tree, and then the metal tree stand, because he didn’t give up after the initial tree throw.

So, in the United States, nine years ago a man was so propelled towards violence that he attacked his father with a miniature Christmas tree, a symbol of Jesus, which leads me to believe that no matter how much I love my country it’s a bit off. Violence isn’t something that we should exalt, use to motivate, or even use to dehumanize others.  Yet, we do.

Videos of people beating up other people are posted all over social media and even on our current president’s Twitter account. These are real people. These are people who are hurt or who died and the incidents of them being injured and attacked? That shouldn’t become a way to motivate other people to do what you want them to do. Because you know why? That’s a part of the terrorist playbook from all the way back to the 1980s.

Inspiring hate to go to any kind of war or motivate exclusionary actions isn’t the way to be.

Yes, it’s been done a million times before, but that doesn’t make it okay. Women have been raped a million times before, religions oppressed, races tormented, difference tortured. There have been how many genocides? Because it’s been done, because it’s currently being done, doesn’t make something right.

Taking an act of personal violence, twisting the facts around it, turning it into propaganda, and using it to incite anger against other groups of people isn’t the high road. That’s not what Christmas is about. Let’s work against it being what our country is about and all of us who have Christmas trees? Let’s not use them as weapons any more.  

Signs of Author Sell-out or Authors Being Desperate

1.
You’ve started having all your characters drink Coke Zero in every scene in hopes of a sponsorship.
ie: “Mmm, this Coke Zero is yummy,” Chloe said, quenching her thirst and then staring at Brad as the realization sunk in. “What do you mean, my dad is a gorilla?”
“He’s a primate, I swear. I saw him drinking a Coke Zero with Principal Johnson,” Brad said, sipping his own Coke Zero. “They were using bananas for straws.”
“Liar!” Chloe threw her Coke Zero at Brad. Precious Coke Zero spilled over the floor. Cola, the dog, quickly lapped it up.
2. You’ve started signing on your picture book query letters MADONNA or BEYOND or even IVANKA in the hopes that someone will read it.
Note: This is likely to be more successful if you also dress up like Madonna and send a photo of yourself in that pointy bra thing she used to wear in the 1980s. This works for both men and women.
Hint: Try not to send audio files of yourself signing “Material Girl.” Only your mom finds that cute. Really. This is also true for both men and women.
3.
You agree to put full page ads for diet pills in your tween novel about girls in cliques who like hair products and spas. Just for the heck of it, you put in hair product advertising spreads on pages 229 and 123-124.
4.
You post a mantra on your computer: IT’S NOT SELLING OUT. IT’S JUST ENSURING FISCAL SUCCESS.
5.
You give in to what you know you shouldn’t do and regret it, regret it, regret it. This is explained in this sad and brilliant, honest post by author Eric J. Adams. http://www.1099.com/c/co/dw/ea/eadams001.html
This almost happened to me twice when artists put guns on my cover even though there were no guns in those books. I am conflict averse, but this is mostly because I am like the hulk and have no chill. I stood firm on the no gun thing. My editors agreed. The guns were gone. I am forever grateful for those fantastic editors for caring and supporting me. I wish that had also happened to the author in the linked post.
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In writer news, TIME STOPPERS, is on sale for $1.99 in November in ebook form so go buy it! My publisher says that people have to buy my books in order for me to be a professional author. Hold on, I’m rethinking that Coke Zero thing. Here’s the link.
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