Hash That Cauliflower, Baby
Writers like to hack things up. No, wait. That’s editors.
Servings Prep Time
2humans 10minutes
Cook Time Passive Time
12minutes nonewe are not passive
Servings Prep Time
2humans 10minutes
Cook Time Passive Time
12minutes nonewe are not passive
Ingredients
Instructions
  1. FIND A SKILLET. Is the house to messy? Did you find one? PUT THE OIL IN THE SKILLET AND TURN THE BURNER ON MEDIUM HEAT.
  2. Is the oil sort of medium heatness? Good. PUT THOSE CAULIFLOWER TREES in there. DO NOT STIR! DO NOT TOUCH IT! I know. I know. This is hard. Distract yourself from your need to stir by using your writer imagination. Imagine they are white little trees. Or warts? Why do they look like warts? Rethink this recipe. Rethink cauliflower. Refuse to think and COOK CAULIFLOWER FOR ABOUT 3 MINUTES. It will start to change color a bit.
  3. STIR IT NOW. ADD THE SPICES AND WATER. FIND A COVER TO THE SKILLET! Panic because you forgot about the cover. PUT THE COVER ON TOP. COOK FOR 3-5 minutes. The cauliflower will be tender but not a giant mush.
  4. TAKE THE COVER OFF. TURN THE HEAT TO LOW. ADD THE GARLIC. COOK 2 MINUTES and STIR LIKE YOU HAVE NEVER STIRRED BEFORE! THIS IS YOUR TIME TO STIR! CLAIM IT!
  5. Sorry for the caps lock. I got excited. STIR IN THE LEMON JUICE. Watch it evaporate. This takes less than a minute.
  6. Sprinkle parsley on it. If you aren’t really a vegetarian, put a fried egg on there. But… you know…