Red Curry Rice of Revision Hell

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Red Curry Rice of Revision Hell
This recipe is adapted from the fantastic Cookie and Kate
Cuisine vegetarian
Servings
people
Ingredients
Cuisine vegetarian
Servings
people
Ingredients
Instructions
  1. Cook that jasmine rice. Worry that it isn't the right rice. Worry you aren't the right writer to cook it. Boil it in a pot of water for 30 minutes. Don't let it overflow like your 197,000-word picture book about anarchy.
  2. Drain. Put it back in the pot. Let it rest for 10 minutes or more. Fluff it up when it's time. All works need a good fluffer.
  3. Wonder how you can possibly chop 196,000 words out of your brilliant picture book so that it's the appropriate publishing-industry 'approved' length. Sob as you put a big skillet on medium heat.
  4. When it's hot, add the oil. Wonder if you can even judge this if you can't manage to cut a mere five words out of your picture book, the ABC's of ANARCHY.
  5. Throw in the onion, some salt. Stir a lot. Stir for 5 minutes. Cry. Why do no publishers understand that children under three are indeed ready for your picture book and can read things that long and sustain attention.
  6. Add garlic, ginger, cook 30 seconds. Continue stirring.
  7. All you do is stir.
  8. The man is making you stir, isn't he? He also created those picture book rules.
  9. To heck with the man. You'll self publish it. You don't need to cut or revise. You don't need the man.
  10. Put the peppers and carrots in. Cook for 5 minutes. Add curry past. Cook for two minutes
  11. Feel happy that you don't have to revise.
  12. Keep adding on words. I mean ingredients. Add kale, water, coconut milk, sugar. Keep stirring. Make it simmer and then lower that heat to keep it gentle but not too harsh. Just like the voice in your picture book. This should take between 5-10 minutes. You get to decide when it's ready. LOOK AT THAT POWER! Feel powerful. You are in charge of your destiny!
  13. Take it off the stove. Add soy sauce and juice. Add salt. If it's too mellow add more soy sauce. Serve it with that fluffy rice and rejoice!
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Brood Me Up – Cheese Daisies

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Brood Me Up - Cheese Daisies
Cheese Daisies are amazing. The end. This recipe is adapted from Charleston Receipts.
Brood Me Up - Cheese Daisies Recipe
Prep Time 30 minutes
Cook Time 12 minutes
Passive Time 30 minutes of chilling
Servings
people
Ingredients
Prep Time 30 minutes
Cook Time 12 minutes
Passive Time 30 minutes of chilling
Servings
people
Ingredients
Brood Me Up - Cheese Daisies Recipe
Instructions
  1. Writers are supposed to be brooding. Let us brood
  2. Cream that butter and then cream the butter and cheeses together. Pretend it is everyone who ever told you that writers were supposed to brood.
  3. They don't define you. You define you.
  4. Sift flour with salt and pepper. Look at the grains clutch each other like a happy writer community. Add it into the creamed stuff.
  5. Writer communities are made up of all kind of writers with all kind of differences, damn it. And some of us are not brooding.
  6. Repeat after me as you chill for a half hour, "Writers can be happy. Writers can be happy."
  7. Once the dough is chill and you are chill (30 minutes) take it out of the chilling place and roll it out.
  8. Use a small biscuit cutter and feel good about it. Make some of them less uniform because EVERYTHING DOES NOT ALWAYS HAVE TO BE THE SAME!
  9. Regain your chill.
  10. Spray a sheet pan. But the cheese daisies into the oven that's at 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Cook for 12 minutes.
  11. Eat all the servings. Be happy.

Hush That Puppy – Cooking With a Writer – Vegetarian Recipes

Drain the balls on paper towel. Eat them all. Forget about serving size. Just eat them all.

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Hush That Puppy - Cooking With a Writer - Vegetarian Recipes
When The Man gets cranky about vegetarian food, I basically just cook him baked goods... MAN VERDICT - I am in the South again. DOG VERDICT - Why are onions in here? CARRIE VERDICT - Yes. I like this.
Hush That Puppy - Vegetarian Recipes Cooking with a Writer
Course side dish
Cuisine southern, vegetarian
Keyword hushpuppy
Prep Time 5 minutes
Cook Time about 10 minutes
Servings
humans
Ingredients
Course side dish
Cuisine southern, vegetarian
Keyword hushpuppy
Prep Time 5 minutes
Cook Time about 10 minutes
Servings
humans
Ingredients
Hush That Puppy - Vegetarian Recipes Cooking with a Writer
Instructions
  1. Look at all those dry ingredients. They are so dry. Let's make them love each other and mix them all together.
  2. Oh, man. That's too much homogeneity. It's like writing a book and having every sentence start with "THE WHITE MAN SAID." Nobody wants a book like that. Cough. Nobody better want ta book like that. So add the minced onion. Then add the egg and the milk all beaten together. Make them look like circles kind of.
  3. Okay. Get some fat. Pour that into a deep stove-safe pot. Get it super hot. Drop little spoonful (balls) of the concoction into that boiling fat. Do not imagine that is your stomach. Do not imagine anything negative. We are comfort fooding here and writers need comfort food.
  4. When those little spoonfuls float? They are done. Like a witch during the horrible times when they'd dunk them to see if they were witches. WHY DID YOUR MIND EVEN GO THERE?
  5. Wow. It's a bad day. Drain the balls on paper towel. Eat them all. Forget about serving size. Just eat them all.
Recipe Notes

Hush That Puppy - Vegetarian Recipes Cooking with a Writer