Sometimes, you just have to refry things in a crockpot. Okay? Don’t judge. I’m from New England. We like our crockpots.
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Refried Beans of Revision Crockpot Style
See all that stuff? It's what makes your book -- I mean beans -- awesome.
Admire the beans. They are characters. Admire the water that holds it all together.
Put all those ingredients in the crockpot.
Try not to think about it.
Cook it in the crockpot on high.
Think about people who have InstaPots. Judge them. Feel old school.
Realize you aren't old school. You're just too poor to buy an InstaPot.
Keep cooking. Ignore it just like you ignore all deadlines, plot holes, bad dialogue and your excessive use of the word "then."
Check it at five hours. It looks cool.
Check it at eight hours. It's mooshy! YAY!
Put it in a blender if you're an overachiever.
Put some in a skillet and fry in oil if you're a human.
Adjust for salt and stuff.
SMASH IT ALL IN YOUR MOUTH AND REJOICE!
I have been making a version of these from the Moosewood Cookbook ever since I got the Moosewood Cookbook in high school.
This specific version is adapted from Courageous Joy, which adapted it from Moosewood. Here's the link.